Life imitates list and vice versa. George W. wasn’t much on speechifying or even understanding or explaining policy. But he does love the old ball game. If he had been made commissioner instead of running for president, there would be a lot more living people living.
When you win a Nobel Prize for Peace and get the Arabs and Jews to sign a peace treaty, you get to ump the game.
Franklin Roosevelt couldn’t walk, but goddammit he could smoke—and try to restack the Supreme Court. A president who can get the Hoover Dam built can manage a ball team.
Teddy “Speak softly and carry a big stick” Roosevelt can direct the pitchers and turn the ballpark into a wildlife refuge.
Ronnie was big, left-handed, and good-looking. All good for the first bag. Also, if we lose, he won’t remember why—he’ll just be full of team spirit. But he definitely can’t be the union rep.
Because he so easily slides to both the left and right.
Willy Clinton is a great baseball name. He can handle the hot corner. Plus, third is close to the stands, so he can troll for totty.
Old Hickory was able to dig deep and move the Cherokee Nation. He can definitely dig for a grounder. Best hair ever for a president.
Dick was the rightest right winger ever to darken the White House. He covered up 9/11 and started an ill-advised war with Iraq. He can surely flag a pop fly.
All the chicks can see you in center.
Woodrow Wilson was so ill that Edith was de facto president for years. Our first Woman president gets to play left. You have to have a strong arm, baby.