KALLIE was struggling to breathe through the intense pain. ‘I can’t … Alex … I can’t breathe … can’t move …’
For a moment when Kallie pushed weakly at Alexandros’s chest, he thought she was still fighting him. He looked down. She was pasty. That same colour as the night in the restaurant. Panic slammed into his body, even as he tried to rationalise what could be causing the same reaction.
He lifted her up into his arms and strode through the house, an unbidden and constricting fear making him feel uncoordinated. He bellowed for Thea and when she appeared at the top of the stairs he instructed her to call the doctor.
After Kallie had thrown up, he brought her over to the bed and sat there, cradling her in his lap, until the intense, violent shaking calmed somewhat, until the storm had passed and she could breathe again. She was so limp that he felt a shard of ice slice through his chest. He was about to shout for Thea again when the doctor appeared at the door. The relief he felt was intense.
He paced up and down outside while the doctor examined Kallie. Thea was wringing her hands. Finally the doctor came out and told Thea to make Kallie a hot, sweet cup of tea. Thea left. Alexandros looked at the doctor, barely able to stay civil.
‘Well?’
The doctor took off his glasses and put them away. He looked at Alexandros, and led him away from the door. ‘From what I can see, and I’ve given her a thorough check-up, your wife has just suffered a severe panic attack. They’re not serious but can be very frightening to the person undergoing it, and to the people with them. The common symptoms are shortness of breath, rising fear, shaking, nausea, feeling like they can’t breathe, intense chest pain … She has all those—a classic case.’
Alexandros reeled. A panic attack?
‘It happened out on the patio … is there any reason why it might have happened there?’
Alexandros felt a grim suspicion settle into him. ‘Maybe … I’m not sure.’
The doctor continued, ‘She told me the same thing happened one night when she had alcohol—she said until then she hadn’t had a drink since she was in her teens. It’s extreme but possible she could have reacted like that. It would seem to me that it’s all linked. Something happened and ever since then something triggers the reaction. It’s a lot more common than you’d think …’ The doctor frowned slightly and shrugged. ‘Only she knows the answer.’
Alexandros was grim, things that he didn’t want to face becoming illuminated, begging for his attention. ‘Thank you for coming at such short notice.’
The doctor shrugged. ‘No problem. Any time.’
As he watched the doctor walk away, Alexandros couldn’t halt the image coming into his head of Kallie that night, aged seventeen, taking the bottle of ouzo out of his hands and drinking. Yet she’d never touched a drop since he’d seen her again, except that night at the restaurant. If the doctor was right and she’d stopped drinking years ago … He rubbed a weary hand over his face.
Thea came back up and he took the cup of tea she’d prepared, bringing it into the bedroom. Kallie looked at him from under the covers with big scared eyes. He made her drink the tea and watched as the colour came back into her face.
‘Alexandros …’ she said finally.
‘Shh.’ He put a finger to her lips. ‘We’ll talk tomorrow. Get some rest.’
They had a lot to talk about. He left the room only when she fell asleep, then he went back downstairs to the patio. He didn’t sleep that night.
And very early he got into his vehicle and left the villa.
Kallie woke and sank back against the pillows, groaning. She couldn’t believe she’d had that reaction again. And could it really just have been a panic attack, as the doctor had suggested? Yet it seemed to make sense, as she remembered her shock on realising where they were last night.
Could it really be because of that night? Could she have been so upset—and hurt—by what had happened that she’d somehow, in her head, placed her fears and guilt onto something random like alcohol that night in the restaurant? Used it as a trigger? How else would she have had exactly the same reaction just from being on the patio?
She felt a weight lift off her shoulders, even as she felt absurdly embarrassed and mortified. What must Alexandros think? A hysterical female. She swung out of bed, relieved not to feel the familiar morning nausea. She cringed again. He’d already witnessed her emptying the contents of her stomach into a toilet bowl. Not exactly the most romantic thing in the world. But, then, what did romance have to do with any of this anyway?
She got dressed into casual trousers and a sweater, tied her hair back and went downstairs with a leaden feeling in her chest. If anything was likely to make Alexandros run to arrange a divorce, this was it. He’d go back into the smooth, coiffed arms of Isabelle Zolanz in a heartbeat rather than watch Kallie throw up again. She didn’t even have the energy to castigate herself for that thought not making her happy.
Thea met her and Kallie gave up silent thanks that they were friends again. She couldn’t have borne Thea’s condemnation any more. Thea fussed around Kallie and made her breakfast, sitting down beside her at the kitchen table where Kallie had insisted on eating.
‘When are you going to tell him?’
Kallie nearly choked on her toast. ‘Excuse me?’
Thea looked stern. ‘You know very well what I’m talking about …’
Kallie’s stomach fell and she said brightly, ‘Oh, that? It was just a panic attack, can you believe that? I’m fine now. The doctor even said that once you know what it is, it can stop happening.’
Thea snorted. ‘Doctors! What do they know? I could have told you weeks ago what that was if I’d known what was happening. I’m not talking about that, and you won’t have one of them again, Kallie. You know what I’m talking about.’ And she placed her hand on Kallie’s belly.
So she had known …
Kallie went pink and shrugged awkwardly, too bemused to even be surprised at Thea’s intuition. ‘I don’t know, Thea. I don’t know that I can … until … until …’
Just then the main door slammed. Alexandros. Kallie tensed. Thea stood up and looked at her. ‘You have to tell him. Everything. Now.’
Kallie got up and walked up into the hall from the kitchen. Alexandros was coming down the stairs.
‘I was looking for you …’
She nodded jerkily. ‘I think we need to talk.’
‘Yes.’ He was grim. ‘We do.’
This is it. He’s going to tell me about the divorce and I know I should tell him about the pregnancy now but if I do …
‘Kallie?’ He was looking at her intently.
She faced him squarely and drew up reserves of strength from somewhere.
‘Yes?’
‘Let’s sit down.’
He took her hand and led her over to the sofa, sitting down beside her. Putting a little distance between them.
Oh, God, he’s going to be nice about it … This is so much worse …
Kallie felt bile rise and had to take deep breaths to will it down.
‘Kallie. The doctor told me what he thinks happened last night, that it was some form of a panic attack …’
The abject and pitiful relief that flooded Kallie when he didn’t mention divorce straight off made her feel like laughing out loud. She nodded her head and focused on his face. His strong, hard-boned face. Lovingly took in every feature as if she had to imprint it on her memory.
‘Last night … you were thinking about what happened seven years ago, weren’t you?’
She stopped breathing and started again painfully. His hand tightened on hers. Eventually she nodded. Something intense flashed across his face but then it was gone.
‘Kallie, I’ve been thinking. A lot. I suspect that your reaction in the restaurant came from what happened that night, too, that somehow the alcohol triggered it, especially after not drinking for so long …’
How could he intuit what she’d only just figured out for herself? Her mouth opened. ‘The doctor … But how …?’
‘Because I know you now, Kallie.’ He gave a small smile. ‘I knew you then, too, and I think that’s why I was so shocked when you came on to me …’
Her cheeks went hot with embarrassment. Her voice was strangled. ‘I was only seventeen … It was a crush, Alexandros. That’s all. No hidden agenda. I was the same person you knew.’ She shrugged, dying somewhere inside at having to explain herself. ‘I was just growing up and wanted you to see me … as a grown-up …’
‘Kallie, the last time we really would have talked was before my father died … you were fifteen. Can you see what it must have been like for me? To suddenly have you kiss me? Especially when I’d been so distracted, busy. We hadn’t seen each other in so long and … I just … I thought you had changed beyond all recognition.’
He drew in a breath. ‘But I know you didn’t do it, Kallie. When I really thought about it and remembered your reaction that day … when I showed you the paper, it was the first you knew of it, wasn’t it?’
She nodded vaguely, couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
‘And you got so upset when Thea told you what had happened afterwards. You said you hadn’t read the article. I just chose not to believe you. It was easier …’ Easier than facing uncomfortable feelings … But he couldn’t get into that yet, they still had more to discuss.
‘I think it’s time you told me what really happened.’
Kallie took a deep breath and searched his eyes. They were so far off course from where she’d thought they were going that she felt disoriented. She felt the inevitability of the moment. Thea was right. No matter how or why she’d rationalised it to herself … she knew he wouldn’t do anything to Eleni. So she told him. Everything, right down to how she’d confided their private conversations to her cousin.
Her eyes beseeched him. ‘I trusted her, Alexandros … We told each other everything …’ Her mouth twisted. ‘At least I thought we did.’
And then she told him that she couldn’t tell him before now because she’d promised not to out of concern for Eleni’s delicate health. That last piece caused a savage expression to cross Alexandros’s face.
He stood abruptly and paced away from Kallie, running a hand through his hair.
‘What is it …?’ She was hesitant, afraid she’d just imagined his wish to hear her side of things for the first time. Was he going to turn around and laugh? Tell her she was lying again? She could feel herself tensing.
But then he turned back and there was such a bleak look on his suddenly drawn face that she was shocked.
‘Kallie …’ He stayed on his feet, pacing. ‘Something else happened years ago … something I never told you because … so much was going on then … and I think I assumed you knew about it.’
‘What?’ She was feeling scared.
‘Eleni …’
‘Eleni …’ repeated Kallie blankly.
‘A few days before the party … we were in the same nightclub in Athens …’
Kallie didn’t move. She hadn’t known this.
Alexandros grimaced. ‘She was dressed up. Make-up, the works. Before I knew it she was coming on to me, trying to kiss me.’
He came back and sat down, taking her hand again but it was cold in his. ‘She was like someone deranged, kept going on about my engagement to Pia, and how she found out about that I don’t even know because it was top secret. She kept insisting that she could marry me, that her father could give me the same merger deal …’ He shook his head. ‘In the end, I had to get her thrown out of the club. And then just a couple of days later when you did almost the same thing … apart from anything else, I assumed it was some campaign by your family to sabotage my engagement.’
He cursed himself for not remembering this before.
Kallie’s mind travelled inwards, back. She could see Eleni’s face close to hers, the way she’d practically frog-marched Kallie out to the patio. She looked back at Alexandros. It all made sickening sense. Eleni had known about the marriage announcement … The magnitude of how little she’d known her own cousin hit her. And how much she’d still kept from her, despite the confession. Petty teenage jealousy and spite had done this. She felt stiff inside. He was shaking his head.
‘I can’t believe you defended her so staunchly, especially when you knew what she’d done …’
‘I’m so sorry, Alexandros. I truly had no idea what her agenda was. She must have been so angry. If I had known about your engagement, there’s no way—’
He cupped her cheek lightly, the look in his eyes, his tenderness making something melt inside her. She tried to fight it.
‘I know … I know that now.’
‘I’m so sorry, Pia was so beautiful …’ He had to have loved her. Perhaps still …
Something twisted in his face and a hard look came into his eyes, making Kallie shiver inwardly. ‘She was not beautiful, Kallie. The day before the announcement, I went to her apartment and witnessed something … awful. She was there with a group …’ He shook his head. ‘Believe me, you don’t want to know. My only regret about that marriage falling through was the collapse of the merger …’
The guilt washed through her again. ‘If I hadn’t followed you that night, tried to kiss you … none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have had to work so hard to rebuild the company, my parents wouldn’t have been so cruel.’
She shuddered and wanted to hold a hand up to his cheek. ‘When my parents sent you out of the house …’ Her voice died away. The tears in her eyes told Alexandros all he needed to know. He lifted her hand, as if he’d somehow known what she wanted to do, and kissed it. Gently. Reverently.
‘If you hadn’t followed me out there, we wouldn’t be sitting here now …’
Kallie’s breath stopped. What was going on? He was almost looking at her as if—
‘Kallie, I—’
Just then the phone rang in his pocket. Kallie jumped. She’d been close to drowning in Alexandros’s eyes, close to saying something, believing something … so close to revealing herself again as she had done before. She pulled back, searching for some distance. Space.
‘Shouldn’t you get that?’
He looked at her so intently for a second that she felt something alien quiver through her. Could it be hope?
He took the phone out and flipped it open. ‘Ne?’
After a quick brief conversation, so quick that Kallie couldn’t follow it, he closed the phone again.
‘There’s something I have to do. But I don’t want you to move. Kallie, promise me, just stay here, exactly as you are. I’ll be back in half an hour—we’ve not finished talking yet.’
She nodded slowly and felt something momentous move between them. But she didn’t dare try and fathom what it could possibly be.
When he had gone, she stayed on the sofa, exactly where she was. Not moving. How had he guessed so much? She didn’t even feel relief. She just felt curiously at peace and a bit numb. As if something huge had shifted.
The phone rang shrilly in the hall, making Kallie jump. She left it for a minute, thinking Thea would appear to answer it, but she didn’t. Kallie figured she must be out in the garden. She went and picked it up. A curt, officious voice on the other end asked abruptly for Alexandros.
‘He’s not here. He’s gone into Athens.’
‘Damn! I tried him on his mobile.’
‘Sometimes the signal goes on the way down the hill.’
‘Look, it’s very important I speak with him.’
Kallie felt a little awkward now. ‘Well, I’m his wife. He’ll be back—’
The man sounded distracted. ‘I’m out of my office. You said you’re his wife … so you’re Kallie Demarchis?’
‘Yes.’ She felt a prickle of foreboding come over her skin.
‘Well, this involves you, too. I’m sure you know anyway. It’s about the divorce. He said he wanted it to happen as soon as possible …’
Kallie nearly dropped the phone. And found herself saying in a thin voice, ‘I’m sorry, who did you say you were?’
‘I’m his solicitor. Look, I’m sorry to be so rushed, I didn’t think I’d have to call. Just tell him to call me on my mobile when he gets back, if he wants this to happen as quickly as he said he did then I need some papers signed immediately. Oh, and, Miss Demarchis?’ He didn’t wait for a reply. ‘You’ll probably be hearing from your solicitor next week. Have a nice day.’