Chapter 20

Connor walked into the lunchroom and saw Julia, Christina and Susan sitting together. None of them were talking to each other. They were ignoring him too.

Bloody ridiculous.

Maggie wasn’t there, either. Plain wrong. He picked up an empty coffee mug, squeezing his hand around it until his knuckles whitened.

With a coffee in hand, he strode toward the table where the girls sat, still in silence.

“How are you?” His lips curled in self-derision. Nothing like the polite niceties to get started.

“Connor!” Christina seemed startled by his presence. Heck, they all did.

“For fuck’s sake,” he muttered, knowing the swearing would piss them off. “Did you think I wouldn’t talk to you? I’d like to think we’re still friends. The reason I liked hanging out with you was because you never pulled this girly shit.”

The three women glanced at each other before looking back at him.

“Have you seen Maggie?” Julia asked.

“No, she said she didn’t want to see me again.” Connor wouldn’t say it out loud, but Julia looked like shit. Sad. Fragile.

“Why?” Susan asked.

“That’s private,” Connor said. “Maggie might refuse to see me or take my calls, but I love her, and I want her back. You’re going to help me.”

They stared at him, their reactions varied but containing varying degrees of shock.

Christina shut her gaping mouth before saying, “You’re serious about her?”

“Yes.” Serious enough to want her permanently. He hated his empty bed and missed her like hell. Their emails were the highlight of his day. Not even the upcoming final against the North Shore Raiders was enough to excite him.

“You can’t help who you love,” Julia said, a hitch in her voice.

Connor’s heart ached when he saw the sheen of tears in her eyes. He spoke quickly hoping to stave off an uncomfortable bout of crying. Every time he offered to listen, she cried. In the end, he’d decided to wait. She could keep her secrets. Julia would talk when she was ready. “I’ve loved Maggie for a long time.”

“You love her? What about the parade of blondes?” Christina demanded.

“Yeah! What she said.” Susan shot him a challenging look, her brows arching up in emphasis. “If you love Maggie, why so many blondes?”

Connor glared back at them. “I don’t kiss and tell. You’ll have to take my word on it. Maggie is the one I love, the one I want.” He’d ridded himself of Sylvie by making her face the truth. He was in love with another woman. Then he’d introduced her to some of his rugby teammates and she’d moved into her own flat. Now it looked as if she might hook up with his flatmate.

“Why all the sneaking around?” Susan demanded.

“Susan, you know why—” Christina cut off, her eyes widening behind the lenses of her glasses.

“Spill,” Connor said in a tight voice. He’d guessed there was something else going on with the women.

“In hindsight, it wasn’t such a good idea. After we met you, we decided we enjoyed having you around, your male input and the way you never hit on any of us. You treated us like friends, almost like sisters. We loved that and didn’t want to screw things up. We decided we’d make a pact and promised we’d never hit on you or go out with you in a romantic way.” Julia shrugged, her discomfort doing nothing to halt the burning anger inside Connor.

“And Maggie broke the pact,” Connor said, his voice rough around the edges. “So you pushed her away when she needed you most.”

“We didn’t push, but we weren’t nice either.” Christina scowled. “You don’t have to glare. We are sorry. You’ve made your point.”

“It’s weird without Maggie around,” Julia said.

“The next time you see her, you will act friendly instead of snubbing her,” Connor ordered. “She needs her friends now.”

“She’s not answering her phone,” Julia said. “I rang her two days ago to thank her for the flowers she sent me.”

“Has anyone seen her?” Connor asked.

“No,” Susan said.

“You know Greg sacked her because of the blog,” Connor said.

“The official story is it’s because she used the internet during work hours,” Susan said.

“Bullshit.” Connor picked up his coffee, took a sip and discarded it. Cold. “Maggie hardly ever used the computer for personal stuff. There were other worse offenders who should have been made an example of before Maggie.”

“Greg is a prick,” Julia said.

“Pompous,” Christina agreed. “And it’s not fair. Maggie should take a case to the employment tribunal.”

“She won’t do that,” Connor said, thinking about her mother and father and her past. She wouldn’t want people gossiping about her or the publicity.

“Greg wasn’t right for Maggie. You’re much better,” Susan said. “We noticed her growing confidence, but didn’t know why.”

“What if Maggie doesn’t want to get back together with you?” Christina asked.

Connor stared at her in shock, his gut lurching with a jolt of fear. He hated to consider that possibility. Instead, he’d focus on his plan. “If that’s what Maggie wants, I’ll walk away.” He forced out the words while his mind screamed at him. The words were a lie. He’d do anything to change Maggie’s mind.

Undress and lie on your bed. Close your eyes.

You hear me open a drawer and know I’ve pulled out our favorite rope. It’s soft so it won’t scratch your delicate skin. Imagine me straddling your body, dragging the end of that soft rope over your shoulders and lower across your breasts. I use it as a massager, a mere scrape of fibers across your skin, and sometimes I change the pressure so it digs into your muscles, the sensation almost painful.

I awake your nerve endings until they sing and your sex tingles. Every one of my touches zaps its way there until your tissues are damp and your juices run from your pussy.

Using my mouth, I kiss the parts of your body that don’t normally receive that type of attention, then gradually, I start to tie you. I loop the rope around your legs, tying them apart so your pussy flowers and blooms for me. I imagine the cool air feels good on your swollen tissues, the contrast another layer of sensation.

Soon your arms are secure and you can’t move. You’re at my mercy. I kiss your lips, and you groan. You want me to fuck you, but I know it can be better, your need more urgent.

I suck your neck, nipping your flesh. You love being helpless and at my mercy. I like having you that way. It’s a real turn-on for me, seeing your swollen lips, your taut muscles as you strain toward me, desperate to end the ache in your pussy.

You beg me to take you, to ram my cock deep until the pleasure takes us both.

Laughing, I say no. I flick your tight nipples and lick around the areola. I tease them, tightening my fingers until the blood rushes there, the pain an echo of pleasure in your sex. You arch upward, attempting to push me, make me lose control.

“Don’t move,” I say. The words are an order, and you know it. I haven’t finished yet. I touch and tease you from head to foot until you are a quivering mass of desire, desperate for release.

Desperate for me.

Your lips are swollen, your eyes glazed, yet I have never seen a woman look more beautiful. I love looking at you, knowing I have the power to create this reaction in you.

Without a word, I untie the ropes holding you captive. You’re confused. Nervous. I can see it in the way you look at me and the fine tremor of your body.

“Turn over,” I order.

You send me another uncertain look before you flop over to lie on your stomach. I tie you again. You are my captive, mine to do with what I will.

I know you’re unsure. It’s a turn-on for me knowing you still trust me enough to follow my orders blindly. I smooth my hand over your ass. You start, your surprise a sharp intake of breath. I tap my hand down on one cheek and wind up into a spanking. You gasp. I’ve surprised you, but you adjust quickly.

From where I’m sitting I can see your pink folds and the way your juices glisten. Along with the bite of pain comes a wash of pleasure. Your butt is a delightful pink, a shade deeper than your sex. Your clit is a hard button protruding from its hood.

Finally, I stop spanking you. I guide my cock into your tight sheath. There is nothing sexier than watching my cock disappear into your body, hearing your encouraging cries and feeling the tight squeeze of your cunt.

“Please,” you beg.

I push into you, halting when I’m balls deep to enjoy the pulsing feel of you surrounding me. Then I can’t wait any longer. I draw back and thrust into you. It’s hard and almost brutal. We’re both grunting, but I can feel you lifting into my thrusts. You’re encouraging me, reaching for the orgasm I know is swelling through you, because it’s tingling in my balls too. I can feel it, and it’s so good.

You explode, a scream ripping from deep in your throat. Seconds later I follow as the pulses of your pussy milk me to completion…

Maggie groaned, her clothes feeling heavy on her sensitive skin. She ached, each step toward her bedroom almost killing her. The emails from Kinky Lover were becoming hotter. More explicit.

“Who the heck are you? Are you a pervert, or someone I should get to know?” she muttered, ripping her clothes from her body and tossing them aside. She fell onto the bed, her hand stroking between her legs almost before she hit the mattress.

It didn’t take much. A pinch of her nipple. A stroke of her finger, the liquid sounds bringing a rush of embarrassment to her cheeks. She came with an orgasmic rush, the tight coil in her belly unraveling until she drifted down.

Maggie laid there, heart pounding while she analyzed her reaction. She was obsessed with Kinky Lover, whoever he was. She raced home from work to check her email and checked it before she left for work. Hooked by cybersex.

At least she wouldn’t catch any nasty diseases.

She glanced at her watch and realized she needed to move or she’d be late for the job interview she had scheduled. She couldn’t blow it off, because she needed a second job at the local pub to subsidize her wages. Hopefully, another job meant she could work on a nest egg, because she never wanted to go through the same financial trauma again.

Two nights later, Maggie stared at her most recent email from Kinky Lover.

We have great email sex. I keep thinking what it could be like if circumstances were different. I want to meet you in person. What do you say?

Maggie read the short email again, nerves jumping at the thought. Immediately, Connor jumped into her mind. She missed him, even though she was having torrid cybersex with another man. Thoughts of Connor filled her mind at odd times of the day. A lost cause. She admitted the truth, but it didn’t stop her thinking about what might have been, if he hadn’t been so obsessed with blonde women, if she had been enough for him.

She missed the others as well, catching herself thinking about describing a particular customer at the theme restaurant to them before she remembered they’d washed their hands of her.

A pang of loneliness hit her as she realized the last person she’d talked to was the man at the bar where she’d gone for an interview. She hadn’t talked to another person since. At the gym she put on her ear phones and snubbed everyone. She’d taken her phone off the hook and ignored the doorbell.

“Damn, this isolation has got to change.” She couldn’t continue this way. It wasn’t healthy.

She glanced at the email again and wondered. Maybe she should take a chance on Kinky Lover. He wrote great emails and was into spanking. Other kink, too, judging by the addition of ropes.

She typed a response, then stopped. Perhaps she’d better think about it first before she committed herself to anything with a man she didn’t know. Instead, she wrote a blog entry.

For those of you who are reluctant to participate in a spanking or can’t understand why anyone would enjoy a good spanking, I thought I’d give you ten reasons why I think spanking is great.

1. It’s a great method of stress relief.

2. It can be an effective way of opening communication, since spanking requires talking and discussion.

3. Spanking doesn’t require special tools—a hand or a hairbrush will work.

4. It can bring a new buzz to a relationship.

5. Most bottoms are well-padded and careful swats won’t do any damage.

6. The closeness that comes after a spanking is magical.

7. It’s great for foreplay and sex after a spanking is hot.

8. It’s fun trying out various positions and scenarios.

9. Role-playing and dress-up can be a lot of fun.

10. An alpha man administering a spanking is plain sexy.

Let me know if you think of other reasons to add to my list. I’m all about learning when it comes to spanking.

An hour later, Maggie worked the bar during the regular barman’s break, smiled and joked with two male customers while keeping an eye on the rest of the customers. Just gone five, it was still quiet. Another hour and the place would rock. She wriggled her toes in her black flats. Thank goodness for comfortable shoes.

A young couple walked up to the bar. Automatically, she scanned their faces and decided they were legal. She poured a vodka RTD, one of the popular ready-to-drink mixes, and a beer, taking their money with a smile.

From the corner of her eye, she noted new arrivals, and when she’d finished, she turned. Her welcome smile died a rapid death as she came face-to-face with Susan and Christina.

The pub doors opened, and Julia walked inside.

Maggie’s heart stuttered before kicking into its normal beat. She forced her smile back to her lips. “Hello. What can I get you to drink?”

“Maggie, I didn’t realize you worked here,” Julia said. “We thought we’d try a new pub. This one hasn’t been open for that long.”

“I needed the money.” Wasn’t that obvious? Why else would she work every possible hour management offered her?

Christina offered a quiet smile. “I was sorry about you losing your job.”

“Ancient history,” Maggie said. “If you haven’t decided on what to drink do you mind if I serve those guys?” She turned away without waiting for their reply. Why did they have to pick this bar?

When she turned back, the three women lined up at the bar like birds sitting on power lines and looked as if they’d roosted for the night.

“We’ll take a bottle of the house Sauvignon Blanc,” Susan said.

“And some peanuts,” Julia added. “I missed lunch.”

Maggie nodded. “We have a bar menu. The snacks are tasty if you’d like something more substantial.” Her voice emerged stiff and robot-like. She drew a sharp breath and told herself to calm down. This job was important. Her new boss had emphasized customer service. She couldn’t afford to lose the job for scaring off customers.

“How long have you been working here?” Christina asked.

“I started yesterday. I have another job at a theme restaurant. You know the medieval one?”

Julia chuckled, although it wasn’t with her normal gusto. Maggie thought she looked sad. “That’s the one with the wenches with big boobs.”

“Yep.” Maggie handed over the opened bottle of wine, then gestured at her breasts. “I was perfectly qualified.”

“Oh,” Susan said, wrinkling her nose. “Isn’t that degrading?”

“I needed a job.” Nothing less than the truth. Jobs were in short supply if a person lacked references. “It’s not so bad if you keep your wits about you. I have a good reason to keep going to the gym.”

Christina nodded, her eyes holding sympathy. “You look great. Have you lost weight?”

“A bit.” Money shortages had a way of making a person focus on the important things in life. She realized she’d let go of her anger toward the three women. Secrets. They weren’t necessarily a good thing between friends. And lying. That was where she’d gone wrong. “I’m sorry I lied to you about Connor. It was wrong of me to break my promise.”

Maggie walked away to serve more customers.

The head barman returned from his break. “I want you to stay working this bar tonight,” he said. “You’re efficient and doing a great job.”

“Thanks,” Maggie said, appreciating the kind words. It would keep her busy so she had an excuse to steer clear of the women. She’d missed them so much. Heck, she missed Connor. But things were different now. She couldn’t go back in time. All she could do was go forward. She’d apologized and meant it. She was sorry for lying to her friends, but it didn’t make things right.

Susan waved her over. “We’ll take an order of fries, some spring rolls and—”

“We need something healthy,” Christina interrupted.

“And the vegetable crudités and hot spinach dip,” Susan finished. “Is that healthy enough for you?”

“Gotta have the five plus vegetables a day,” Julia quipped. “They tell us all the time on television.”

“Since when did you follow the rules?” Susan asked.

Julia’s smile faded. “People change. Things don’t stay the same.”

Maggie felt her pain and wondered at the secrets emblazoned across Julia’s face. Losing the baby had hurt her. It was funny because Julia was the last one out of all of them she’d expect to get pregnant or embrace motherhood. “I’ll take the order through to the kitchen. It won’t take long.”

When she returned a group of young guys had joined them. Rugby players she discovered when she overheard them talking.

Julia gestured for another bottle of wine, and Maggie hustled to serve both her and the new arrivals.

“How are you doing, Julia?” she asked in an undertone.

Julia shrugged. “Good days. Bad days. How about you?”

Obviously Julia wasn’t willing to talk specifics yet. “About the same as you. I don’t think I’m relationship material. Every one of them finishes the same way, with me ending up alone. I think I’m doing okay, then things get mucked up and everything ends badly.” The words burst free, making Maggie realize how much she’d needed to talk.

Julia gave a sharp bark of laughter, one that held little humor. “You and me both. What say we give up on men and have a raging affair with each other?”

“Julia!” Christina said in clear shock. “Did you just proposition Maggie?”

“Why not?” Julia winked at her, but made sure Christina didn’t see. “We’re both off men, but like sex. I’m sure I could spank you, Maggie. Let’s talk.”

Susan spluttered, while one of the young rugby players picked up on a pertinent word.

“Spanking?” he asked. “Which one of you is into spanking? There’s a great spanking blog that one of the other guys in my team put me on to. I thought it would be strange and kinky, but it’s interesting.”

Susan blurted, “That’s Mag—”

“That’s great,” Maggie cut through Susan’s words, shouting loudly, and her friend clapped a hand over her mouth, her eyes full of apology. “You sound open-minded.” A pity he was too young for her.

In that moment, she decided to meet with her cyber lover. He pushed every one of her buttons and already knew she liked spanking.

“Where do you play rugby?” Christina asked, diverting the conversation.

Susan wasn’t so easily diverted, her speculative gaze going from Maggie to Julia and back. Maggie felt Susan’s gaze follow her down the bar while she served several beers and mixed drinks. It was another hour before things calmed down enough for her to check on her friends.

At least the initial stiffness had faded, although Maggie wasn’t fool enough to think their friendship would continue as if nothing had happened.

“Susan thinks we’re interested in each other. Connor would have a good laugh about that. He’s always said two chicks together are hot,” Julia said.

“Susan is gullible.” Maggie didn’t want to talk about Connor. She hadn’t seen him, not even at the gym. She hoped they didn’t mention she was working here. The last thing she wanted was to see him with his new blonde. She didn’t think she could cope with a sighting. The tight sensation behind her eyes told her she was far from over him.

Betrayal hurt—from both sides, which made her want to work to repair the rift with her friends.

“I’ve missed you. I haven’t been going out much. Just work and Susan and Christina dragged me out tonight. I’m sorry I didn’t make more of an effort to see you,” Julia said in a low voice. “I am sorry. You’re a good friend and you deserve better.”

“It’s okay,” Maggie murmured.

“It’s not, but thank you. Are you seeing anyone else?” Julia asked.

“Not really. Sort of,” she amended. Cripes, she was having regular cybersex.

“So, which is it?”

“I’ve been having torrid cybersex with someone I met through my blog.”

Julia’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Maggie moved away to serve more customers, noting the crowd had thinned. Some had left for home while others had moved to the adjoining restaurant.

When she returned to her friends, the rugby players had left. She gathered the glasses, stacked them into the glasses machine and switched it on to wash.

“You can’t leave me hanging like that,” Julia said. “Spill.” She turned to the others and whispered, “Maggie’s having cybersex with some guy.”

“Maggie!” Susan said. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so critical. What I meant is that cybersex could be dangerous.”

“I intend to be careful,” Maggie said.

“For goodness sake, tell Maggie cybersex is dangerous,” Susan said.

“Susan, you sound like my mother when she discovered I knew about the birds and the bees,” Julia said. “Maggie’s having safe sex. What’s wrong with that?”

“There are weird people online,” Susan said. “You’re having sex with one? I don’t believe it. You know nothing about him. How do you even know it’s a him? It could be a woman.”

“Or a horny underage teenager,” Christina added.

Maggie thought about Kinky Lover’s posts. “No,” she drawled. “I don’t think it’s an underage male. This man knows his way around a woman’s body. He knows what makes us tick.”

“He could be married,” Julia said.

“See,” Susan said with concern. “Even Julia agrees. There has to be something wrong with him if he has to have cybersex. What’s wrong with the real thing? Why can’t he find a date like most men do? Aw, hell, I don’t mean to sound critical. It’s a safety issue.”

“It’s not always so easy to meet people,” Maggie retorted. “I know. Heck, Susan. You know too. That’s why you’ve applied to a reality show.”

Susan nodded with a wry smile. “Touché.”

“We got in,” Christina said, bouncing up and down on her barstool.

Maggie noticed a new arrival. “Hold that thought,” she ordered, moving down the bar to serve the elderly couple.

When she returned, the three were in deep conversation. Maggie used the time to remove empty glasses and wipe down the bar. She chopped up a lemon and restocked the beer fridge.

“You can take a break now,” the head barman said.

“Is it okay if I sit with my friends while I’m on my break?”

“Sure. Don’t be late back.”

With a nod, she walked around the bar.

“Are you on a break?” Christina asked. “Or are you finished for the night?”

“I wish. My feet are sore from standing. No, it’s a break. I have another two hours for this shift.”

“Let’s sit over there at the table,” Susan said.

They moved over to the table, Maggie clearing it and taking the glasses to the bar before she rejoined her friends.

Susan stood and hugged her. “I’m sorry I was such a bitch about Connor. I have no excuses, but I’ll try not to repeat it ever again,” she whispered fiercely.

Christina embraced her, too, a tight squeeze that said more than words. Maggie blinked to control the surge of emotion gripping her chest. Pride said she should give them a tough time for their behavior, but the truth—she was just glad they were speaking again.

“Don’t look at me,” Julia said with a wink. “I don’t want to hug you and spread rumors about our hot lesbian affair.”

Maggie laughed and pulled out a chair. “So tell me about the reality show,” she said. “What happens next? Do you get filmed the entire time?”

“Christina and I have to go to another elimination round in two months. We get to meet the farmers. From what they said, they allocate each farmer with a group of women. We get to talk to him together as a group and alone. The farmer whittles us down to his chosen eight.”

“Sounds scary,” Maggie said. “What are you wearing?”

“We can talk about that later,” Julia said. “I want to hear about the cybersex. Where does this guy live? How do you even know this guy is from New Zealand?”

“That’s true,” Susan said. “You don’t know anything about this guy.”

Christina smirked. “Apart from the fact he’s good at sex.”

“Yeah, well,” Julia said. “You don’t even know that. He might talk the walk, but can he walk the talk?”

“Huh?” Susan said. “What does that mean?”

Maggie laughed. “It might mean he’s all mouth and no trousers.”

Julia groaned.

Susan’s confusion cleared. “Oh, you mean he might not be able to get it up. They have pills for that these days.”

“Gullible,” Julia mouthed in Maggie’s direction and they both laughed. “Seriously, though,” Julia said when the laughter stopped. “Has he said where he lives or where he wants to meet? If you follow through and meet him, you need to be careful. Take safety precautions.”

“I suppose it would work if you met him for coffee somewhere or maybe a meal in a public place,” Christina said. “One thing you shouldn’t do is meet in a hotel room. Even though you know him online, you need to learn about him on a personal level.”

Julia wrinkled her nose, the wine she’d drunk during the evening putting a flush in her cheeks. “Yeah, if he’s short with bad teeth and no hair, you need an escape route.”

“So you think I should meet with him?” Maggie asked.

Susan ran her finger around the rim of her wine glass. “I’m not convinced it’s a great idea, but you’re the best one to judge from the emails. I take it you don’t want to share?”

“No,” Maggie blurted, unable to halt the race of color across her face.

“Just out of interest, have you been emailing him back with suggestive replies?” Christina asked.

“No,” Maggie said, but she couldn’t look at any of them. “Oh, okay,” she muttered. “I can’t lie to you guys. I have, and no, you’re not looking at my replies either.”

“Why don’t you meet at a restaurant?” Julia asked. “Tell us the time and place and we’ll book a table there too. That way, we can check him out and give you our opinions. And if there’s any trouble, we’ll be right there with you. Your mystery man won’t even need to know we’re your friends. As far as he’s concerned, we’d be diners.”

Susan nodded. “That’s not a bad idea.”

“I’ll think about it,” Maggie said, after studying each of their faces. “I need to get back to work.”

Julia grabbed her arm. “Don’t you dare meet this guy without telling us, Maggie. We care about you and don’t want to see anything happen to you.”

With a knot of emotion blocking her throat, she nodded before hurrying off to the bar, feeling better than she had in days. While the old easy camaraderie remained elusive, she hoped they’d talk soon and drag out the monsters hiding in the closets. Like all people, they each had their hot buttons from the past. Maggie poured a beer and admitted to herself if she had her time over, she’d make most of the same decisions. Sometimes a person just had to follow their gut and hope for the best.