Chapter 20

Misterion College

Emmy

It was funny, Emmy thought, how even though she hadn’t walked this campus in ten years, she recalled so much of it. The two dormitories, one each for boys and girls. The dining hall that sat between them. The football field, the stadium, the sidewalks linking everything together. The wide academic quadrangle surrounded by stone buildings hundreds of years old. The Carter Library at one end and the Interfaith Chapel at the other.

“Some of the windows are broken,” Blake said as they got closer to the chapel. “That’s sad.”

She nodded and rubbed her arms, pimpled with gooseflesh. If she looked hard enough, she could almost see the shadows of students walking by them, strolling to class, kissing in doorways, tossing Frisbees and footballs, finding the perfect place to spread out notes and pretend to study.

Blake turned and looked past the academic quad to the fraternity quad, a quarter-mile away. Down ten wide stone steps set into the sandy earth. Overlooking the sea. He’d once told her that the day he moved into the Delta Eta Chi house was one of the happiest days of his life.

“You want to go down there?”

He shrugged. “Do you?”

“Not really, but we’re already here, so...”

He nodded and went ahead of her, negotiating the places where the sidewalk had broken away. “Careful,” he said a couple times and pointed at holes or uneven patches of ground.

Despite ten years of neglect, the campus looked remarkably well-preserved. A bulldozer sat next to the library, and cones and caution tape already had been set out in a few places. It was easy to picture it coming alive in a few short months with new students. New classes and professors. New possibilities. But Emmy’s mouth went dry as they approached the narrow quadrangle that ran between four Georgian-style fraternity houses.

“Sigma Phi,” Blake said as he pointed around the square. “Tau Ep. Rho Chi.”

“And Delta Eta Chi,” she finished as they turned in tandem to face the tallest and most ornate of the four. A wide front porch, four stories, a rooftop balcony with a missing piece of railing. The front door padlocked shut. A faint chalk outline of a body on the sidewalk. Dizziness washed over Emmy, and she reached out for something to hold.

“Em?” Blake grabbed her arm. “You okay?”

She sank to her knees. For a long few moments, her stomach churned. Sweat broke out across her forehead. She fought to breathe, to channel years of yoga training into this one, desperate moment. I will not die. I will not pass out. When she looked up again, the chalk outline was gone. Of course it was. She’d imagined it. It wouldn’t still be there after ten years of rain and snow and sun.

“Sorry.” She stood, taking her time. “It’s so weird being here. So hard and sad and...”

“Tell me about it.”

She studied Blake’s face. Did any of this really bother him? Was he remembering Piper, his Delta brothers, the swarm of police that had arrived from the mainland? Maybe he was reminiscing about parties, football games, Homecoming and Spring Fling and all the traditions Delta Eta Chi had established over the years. He turned abruptly and headed back toward where they’d left the vehicles. “I need a drink,” he said over his shoulder.

Emmy was about to tell him that the closest bar was the Arrow Tavern at milepost twenty-five, but apparently he didn’t need a bar. He’d come prepared. He returned to his rented moped and pulled a half-sized bottle of red wine from his backpack, along with two plastic glasses.

“What the heck is that?”

“Tilly gave it to me. Memorial Day celebration and all that.”

When Emmy got closer, she could see the Drake’s Heart Inn logo on the bottle’s label. He popped the cork and poured two glasses. A tall oak tree stood a few feet away. “Want to sit?”

“Okay.” From here they had a vantage point of the chapel, the corner of the fraternity quad, and the ocean beyond. “This was one of my favorite places to study,” she said as she sipped the strong, dry wine. She leaned against the tree. Its trunk was big enough that two or three people could rest against it and their shoulders wouldn’t touch.

“I know.” He didn’t look at her. “I haven’t forgotten much about our time here.”

A deep ache settled into Emmy’s chest. “I don’t want to go down this path again.”

“Which one? Reliving all the good times we had, or all the shit that went wrong at the end?”

She took another sip and wished Tilly had given Blake a case of those half-bottles. One would never be enough. “Both.”

He nodded and stared at the water.

“It’s weird, isn’t it?” she said after a minute. “Sometimes ten years feels like forever, and sometimes it feels like it was only yesterday.”

“No kidding.” He stared at the roof of the Delta house. His fingers drummed restlessly against one knee.

Then she asked the question, the one that never left her mind for long, even after all these years. “What do you think really happened to Piper?”

Blake

Blake didn’t answer right away. He’d been both dreading that question and thinking it himself since coming back to the island. He’d been over that night so many times in his head, and he still didn’t have an answer for how Piper had ended up dead.

“How could she have fallen?” Emmy said. “We’d been up on that roof so many times and she never even got close to the edge. She wasn’t wasted that night. None of us were. It wasn’t raining, it wasn’t cloudy, there wasn’t any reason anyone might slip and fall over the edge.”

“I don’t know. Investigators said she must have, though.” He swallowed. “Maybe she jumped, but I don’t like to think that.”

“Me either.”

He stared at the regal facade of the Delta house. “I feel so shitty about it. Like maybe it was my fault.”

“What? Why?”

“The last thing I told her that night was not to kill the mood.”

Emmy was staring at him, her eyes two saucers in her face. “What are you talking about?”

“Piper was upset that night, and you two were talking in the kitchen. Do you remember? She was crying about something, and I told her not to ruin the mood.” He rubbed his face. “Fuck. What if she died because of something I said?”

Emmy put one hand on his shoulder. “Oh, Blake. Piper’s death wasn’t your fault. Don’t take this the wrong way, but I don’t think you had that much power over her. She was upset that night, yeah, but it’s not like she walked up to the roof five minutes later and threw herself over the edge because you said that to her.”

“No?”

“No,” she said with certainty. “If she did decide to jump, it was because of other stuff. Not because of you.” She hiccupped. “God, I hate saying that out loud. It feels like I betray her by even thinking it.”

“What other stuff?”

“C’mon. You know she’d been dating some asshole, breaking up with him, getting back together, breaking up again, and then seeing Quinn on the side too.”

“Who was the asshole?”

“I don’t know. She wouldn’t tell me. And that was weird, right? Because we used to tell each other everything.” She shaded her eyes as the sun came out from behind a cloud. “It wasn’t serious, I know that much. Just a rebound after Quinn. She had a lot going on besides that, anyway. Do you know her mom told her she wasn’t coming to see her graduate? Because whatever guy she was living with that year didn’t want to make the trip from Ohio?”

“Nice.”

“Yeah. I thought my mom was flighty when it came to men. But she never put me second to a guy, that’s for sure.” She shook her head. “Even then, though, I never thought Piper would kill herself. I can’t think that. If I could’ve stopped her, and I didn’t because I didn’t see the signs...” Her eyes grew shiny with tears.

“It’s not your fault, either.”

She was quiet for a few moments. “What happened to us?” she asked.

A lump lodged itself in his throat.

“Maybe that’s a stupid question. But we were so...there was a time when nothing could’ve broken us up.”

“I know.” His voice was heavy.

“My friend Raelynn said we were probably both in shock after Piper died.”

“That makes sense.” He had a hard time remembering those first few hours. The faces were blurred, the voices, the questions everyone seemed to be asking all at once.

“I felt like I didn’t have a chance to talk to you before people got here. Your father was on the island right away, before anyone else from the mainland, the investigators, even.” Her voice had a funny edge to it.

Blake nodded. “Well, he was concerned. Obviously. He was worried about me. And the fraternity, of course,” he added, and his own voice took on an edge.

“Of course.”

“He was trying to manage the fallout, that’s all I meant. After what happened with the other fraternities that spring, those two other hazing incidents, he knew Delta would be punished. Used as an example. He worked hard with the college and Delta’s national board to get them to agree to a suspension rather than a total shut-down.” He paused. “Which you would’ve known if you’d come by the house.”

Her face turned to stone. “I did come by. Maybe you forgot. Or maybe your father was too busy playing guard dog to let me inside.”

His jaw twitched, but he didn’t respond.

“And my best friend had just died. Excuse me for not wanting to hang out in the place where it happened.”

“I know that. But did it ever occur to you that I was hurting, too? That I was a shit ton of broken-up inside, and my girlfriend was MIA, so I didn’t even have anyone to talk to about it?”

For a long moment, she said nothing. “I’m sorry, Blake. I never thought about it that way. God, I was so...so broken, you know? I could barely breathe. And I couldn’t talk to you without your father around. It was like he was everywhere, at the house, at the dining hall, inside your head, even. You were a different person once he got here.” Emmy wound one finger through her hair. Over and over, spiraling the single strand, until he took her hand and stopped the motion.

“You left me,” he said in a quiet voice. “I needed you more than anything, and you just walked away.”

She stared at him. “I guess I figured you were okay, especially with your dad here. You were always okay, even when bad things happened. You held yourself together better than anyone else I knew.”

“Because I had you with me.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment. “I told you I needed some time. I was going home to my mom’s. You knew that. I told you that.” She paused. “You didn’t follow me.”

“Was I supposed to?”

Her lips thinned, as if she wasn’t sure of the answer. “I guess I wanted the grand gesture.”

“The what?”

“The grand gesture. The scene in the movie where the hero comes riding up on a white horse to win back the girl. Or gives up his millions to live in a hovel with the woman he loves. Or stands on a lawn in the rain holding a boom box over his head.”

“Oh, Em. Life’s not like the movies.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Blake stared at the horizon. He didn’t know how to read women’s minds. He wasn’t even that good at it now, and he was ten years older. In college? Please. He hadn’t had that kind of savvy or insight.

“I wrote you,” Emmy said. “That summer, I mailed a letter to your house. I thought you’d come to me. Or at least call me. I needed you, needed to talk things out. I didn’t want us to be over.” A sob broke from her mouth. “And I never heard one single thing from you.”

“A letter? When?”

“The end of June. A few weeks after I got home.” She clutched his hand, her fingers cold. “Please don’t tell me you never got it.”

“I never got it.”

The wind kicked up sand at their feet. Faint birdsong sounded above them. But the only thing Blake could hear was his blood rushing inside his ears. All this time, he’d thought Emmy had broken up with him and moved on. He’d thought the silent treatment meant she wanted nothing to do with him.

“You wrote me a letter.” What had happened to it? More important, how might the rest of his life unfolded differently if he’d gotten it?

“Oh, Blake. Please don’t tell me all this...” She didn’t finish, but he could fill in the blanks. Please don’t tell me all this could have been different. She leaned against him, her weight both comforting and disconcerting. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to hold her, strip off her clothes and make love to her. He wanted to shake her and ask why she hadn’t just delivered the letter in person, or called his parents’ house, or come there herself.

But he knew the answers.

“Emmy, you have to know that I would have answered you if I’d gotten it. I would never have just blown you off.”

She sighed, and he could feel the anguish in the rise and fall of her torso. “I hope that’s true.”

“It is,” he said fiercely.

“Maybe you weren’t supposed to get it. Everything happens for a reason, right? Maybe we would’ve gotten into a horrible fight and never spoken again.”

He leaned away from her. “What did you write?”

She almost smiled. “I was being dramatic. It was a lot of ‘I miss you’ and ‘Can we talk about this’ sort of thing. I don’t think it would’ve turned into a fight, but you never know. Can’t turn back time now, can we?”

“I guess not.” He emptied the rest of the wine into his cup, unsure of what else to say. The sun slipped into the hills, and a cannon boomed in the harbor.

Emmy looked in that direction. “That’s the official end of the fishing contest. Wonder who won?”

“Will it matter?”

“Well, if anyone other than Tom or Old Ollie wins, it’ll be the talk of the town for a month.”

“Good. At least then Claude punching me won’t be the talk of the town.”

She tried for a smile. “Oh, I’m sure that’ll come up over a dinner table or drinks somewhere.”

“Terrific.”

They stood and walked back to the parking lot, not touching, not speaking. Sparrows hopped across the grass ahead of them, their heads cocked in curiosity. Suddenly a siren whooped, and a Drake Isle police car came driving toward them. Blake tucked the empty bottle away in his pack. “Looks like we’ve been found.”

A tall man in uniform, not the one who’d pulled Claude off Blake earlier, emerged from the car and walked toward them. “Emmy? That you? Hey now, you know you’re not supposed to be out here. It’s private property. ‘Specially with the crews doing work here the last few weeks, I gotta keep an extra eye out.” He looked around at the vacant buildings. “Hate to have you walk around here and get hurt.”

“It’s okay, Chief. I’m sorry. We were just leaving.”

He stuck out a hand for Blake to shake. “Andy McCabe. Chief of Police.”

“Blake Carter. Nice to meet you.”

“Carter, eh? Of the island Carters?”

“One and the same.”

Andy turned to Emmy. “Meant to tell ya, I got a call from my buddy up in Boston. He wanted me to ask you for a list of your ex’s friends, any contacts you know. Names, numbers, people he might be staying with in the city. Even if we can’t locate him, we might be able to track down someone who knows him.”

“I’m not sure I –”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you,” Blake interrupted. “I think I might have found that band you said he plays in.”

Her eyes widened. “Seriously? How long were you planning on waiting to tell me?”

“Sorry.” I had a few other things on my mind.

“You didn’t tell me he was in a band,” Andy said, frowning. “I could’ve traced that.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think of it, or think it would matter.”

“Cracked Edges?” Blake went on. “Isn’t that the name? Except on the website it was spelled wrong, with a bunch of k’s and z’s, like kids on meth.”

“That sounds about right,” Emmy said.

The chief had pulled a notepad from his pocket. He was nodding and jotting down notes. “Good. Tell me everything you know.”

By the time they got back to Harbor Street, dusk had turned to night and the crowds along Harbor Street had grown even thicker. Cars lined the bridge to the mainland, waiting for the fireworks show, along with the boats in the harbor and everyone on the beach and the landing.

“Can I walk you home?” Blake asked after he’d returned his rented moped and Emmy had parked in the only remaining vacant lot up by the lighthouse.

“You can, but it’s just a couple of blocks.” She held up a hand before he could say anything else. “And then I’m going to say good night. I know it’s early, but it’s been a long day, and I’m going to watch the fireworks in my pajamas from my living room and then go to bed.” She crooked a brow. “No comment necessary. You know full well I can read your mind.”

He did what she asked. But at the door of Inner Sanctum, he couldn’t resist giving her a quick hug, needing to feel her body in his arms for just another moment. “Thanks for going with me today.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Can I say something?”

She hesitated, one hand already on her doorknob. “I guess.”

“I’m sorry about the way things ended between us.”

She didn’t answer right away. “It was a long time ago.”

“Not that long. And I still need to say this. I’m sorry I didn’t follow you, sorrier that I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

She blinked a few times. “It was my fault too. I shouldn’t have expected you to read my mind. If it makes you feel any better, I don’t think we would have ended up together.”

The words struck him straight through the heart.

“Don’t take that the wrong way.”

“Not sure how I’m supposed to take it.”

“I just meant that we were kids, you know? So young. And look at you now, running Eastefire. You’re in the thick of things up in Boston, making money hand over fist, driving a fancy car and wearing expensive suits. I’m sure everyone in the city knows your name.” She looked over her shoulder at her front door. “I’m happy here. It’s a very simple life, but I like it. I don’t need much more.”

“I still wish things had worked out differently.”

“Me too. But if yoga’s taught me anything, it’s to live in the moment. We can’t do anything about the past. What’s done is done.” She held out her hand. “Let’s call a truce, shall we?”

He looked at her hand. The last thing he wanted from Emmy was a handshake. A kiss, another embrace, maybe a long, slow peeling off of her clothes before she wound up naked in his bed – he wanted all that and more. But instead he swallowed and placed his hand in hers. He couldn’t have any more and he knew it. “Truce.”

Then she had the audacity to wink. “And when it comes to this place, may the best man – or woman – win.” She smiled, shut the door, and was gone.

Unsettled, Blake wandered along the street and down to the landing. He sure wasn’t ready to call it a night or watch the fireworks from his room at the inn. He stopped for a lobster roll and a beer and finished both while a few practice fireworks went up. He walked down to the beach, but there wasn’t a free spot anywhere to stand. Then the crowd oohed and aahed and shifted position, and he spied an open space on the retaining wall along the sand. He squeezed into place and leaned against the wall to watch.

“It’s something, isn’t it?” said a voice to his left. “For a small island, we put on a pretty great show.”

He squinted into the dark and saw Tilly Drake sitting beside him. “Oh, gosh, I’m sorry. Didn’t even see you there.”

She pointed to the woman beside her. “Do you know Masie Suarez? Probably not. She moved to the island just a few years ago. Masie, this is Blake Carter.”

A thin, dark-haired woman leaned over and batted her eyelashes. “Hello, handsome. Heard you were staying at Tilly’s place. It’s awfully nice to meet you.”

“Ah, hello.”

“Have a nice day?” Tilly asked.

He nodded.

“Did you get a chance to look at those properties on the south end of the island?”

“I did. Not sure they’ll work out, though.”

“Well, with the college reopening, I’m sure others will come on the market.”

An enormous boom sounded, followed by a white cascade of lights that covered the sky. Blake felt the aftershock in his bones.

“Did you visit the campus while you were down there?” Tilly asked in the silence, as the fading white sparks dripped from the sky into the sea.

“I did. Kind of strange to see it deserted and boarded up.”

She nodded. “Shame what happened there.”

Blake wondered how much Tilly knew. He hadn’t told her he’d been Delta’s president at the time Misterion closed, or that he’d been investigated for Piper’s death, but she’d probably heard both through the island grapevine. She said something else, but another firework went off, and then another, until the sky was filled with falling stars, and the only thing Blake could think of was the letter Emmy had written him ten years ago and how it had disappeared into thin air.