Chapter 9
Veterinarian Clinic
One Week Later 6:30 p.m.
weeks since Emma had uncovered a tattered envelope in her pile of mail. And since then, her copy of Merck Veterinary Manual had been setting on top of it. But just because she couldn’t see the letter, didn’t mean she could forget it was there. Because every time she walked through the kitchen, the hidden object whispered her name.
She’d tried working long hours and exercising until she fell into bed at night. But the whispers remained. Haunting her, telling her she needed to face what was inside the envelope, before she could move forward into the future.
Killian had been on her mind, but fear held her back. And even though lunch with Molly had revealed he’d been on a journey to find himself, she still waited. But between that comment and Elsa’s about him being a good guy rolling around in her head, she had to wonder … should she listen to them?
Before she could change her mind, Emma moved her Merck, picked up the envelope and slid the letter from its housing ….
My Dearest Emma,
If you are reading this, it’s probably more than I deserve. I wouldn’t be surprised if your first inclination was to hide the letter thinking out of sight out of mind. You see, that’s what I tried when it came to you. But that you’ve read this far means you inherited my determined nature, which has led us to this point in time.
Let me start at the beginning. I was born on the proverbial wrong side of the tracks to a mother who was underage and a father who liked beer better than he liked his wife or his son. When I was ten my parents were killed, and I went to live with my grandmother. She made me go to school, but anything beyond that she didn’t know how to give. The day I graduated from high school, I left Ferndale behind and moved to Hollywood.
I was fortunate to be in the right place at the right time and landed in a movie, and then another and another. Before long I believed my press, and the only genuine thing I cared about was making it big. I’m not proud of the man I was, but it was that man who met your mother.
She was beautiful and carefree, and she adored me. I took advantage of her adoration, and we conceived you. When Leo King found me and torpedoed my career, I hated him. Not because he forced me to marry your mother, or because of you, but because of what he did to me.
Fast forward to your birth and the second I looked into your eyes, and you wrapped your small fist around my finger, something inside of me sparked to life. But that feeling? That feeling terrified me, and I did the only thing I could think of and turned away from you. If you weren’t where I had to see you every day, then I could pretend you didn’t exist, and the hate I was feeling was safe.
Did it work? Not completely, because every time Leo King felt it would benefit King Industries, I was summoned for a command performance. And then I would be expected to appear with Ava and you, as if we were a happy family. My hate was at war with my heart, because any time I saw you, you owned a bigger piece of me. But when we arrived back at the house, instead of staying with you as my heart wanted, the hate inside my head won, and I ran.
When your grandfather died, the story you know is I was given money and disappeared from your life. But the true story is more complicated. You see … you weren’t the first person who caused me to feel. That was Amber Waters, a kind girl who befriended a poor boy when they were teens.
She was shy and sweet and cared. When I left Ferndale, Amber went on with her life, and became a psychologist who runs a successful practice. But after Leo’s death, I learned he had created a fake dossier about Amber and me. However, if the information had leaked to the public, it would have destroyed her.
My choices were ….
Take the money and leave Boston and you behind and the dossier would be mine.
Or
Stay in a marriage neither Ava nor I wanted, and the dossier would be made public.
I didn’t feel I had any other choice but to take my freedom.
For months, I tried to find an agent, director, someone who would give me a chance, but it had been too many years. I was over forty and had nothing and no one and just like my father; I tried to numb the pain. My drink of choice was vodka.
For a year I lived in a drunken fog until one morning I stopped for coffee and was flipping through a New York Times. My eyes locked onto your image in the paper, and I should say my heart stopped. But, in reality, when I looked at that picture, my heart started beating once again.
I left LA behind, moved back to Ferndale and found myself. Amber was there for me, helping me become a better man. I went to college and currently teach high school drama. I thought my life was complete until Amber helped me see that without you; I was only half alive.
According to the agreement I had made with Leo’s lawyer, I couldn’t contact you. But that didn’t mean I couldn’t watch you grow.
When I was able to see you, I took pictures and wrote down what I was thinking and feeling. I’ve since transferred everything into a blog. I was never prouder of you than when you graduated from veterinarian school and became Doctor Emma Foster.
I know I don’t deserve it, but I’m hoping we can start over and get to know each other as adults. Amber and I are getting married in January, and I would like it if you could meet her. That would make me complete.
I love you,
Dad
When Emma finished reading the letter, she didn’t know which emotion coursing through her system was the loudest. Hate, anger, frustration, sadness, hurt … love … hope?
He had included the URL to his blog and curiosity had her taking her laptop to the sofa and opening it.
Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill, Friday 8:00 p.m.
night and just like he’d done before, Killian was out with friends. Dylan and Molly, Gray and Sadie, and Rusty and his wife Rene, the mayor of Swan Harbor. He’d been out with them many times. But this time was different. This time … he felt alone.
It had been another week without hearing from Emma, and he was close to feeling defeated. But whether it was inadvertent or on purpose, Molly had helped when she’d asked him to read to her class.
He’d read the book Llama Llama Red Pajama to the first graders. And while he certainly didn’t have motherly feelings about Emma, the book had a good lesson about patience. One that he would be wise to take to heart. Which was why when his friends began ribbing him about his reading style, he couldn’t seem to work up the need to be too offended.
“So, you’re telling me,” Dylan laughed. “Killian used different voices when he read to your class?”
“Oh, yes.” Molly sent Killian an impish grin. “In a high pitch voice, he’d read, ‘What is Mama Llama doing? Baby Llama starts boo-hooing’, and then he’d pitch it lower for the mama.”
“The kids loved it,” Killian defended his reading style.
“They did!” Molly agreed. “And after only a few pages, Killian was sitting on the floor with the kids spread around him.”
“Seems children bring out a new you.” Dylan pinned Killian with a knowing gaze. “If you get bored at the Sheriff’s Department,” he continued, “perhaps Swan Harbor Elementary would hire you.”
“The kids really love when he reads to them,” Molly jumped into protective mode. “Especially the little girls.”
“Oh!” Rusty chuckled. “I bet they did. We met one of Killian’s ‘girls’ this week.
“Would that be Ms. Tuesday or Ms. Sunday?” Dylan prodded.
Killian understood that was Dylan’s way of being nosy, but Blackbeard’s Bar & Grill was not the place to spill his problems. Instead, he gave a subtle head shake and asked Sadie about wedding plans, effectively changing the subject.
“Don’t ask her about them,” Gray grimaced. “If you ever get married, elope. Getting everyone on the same page is a disaster.”
“Oh, it can’t be that bad, can it?” Killian laughed at Gray’s disgruntled expression.
“Don’t listen to him,” Sadie smoothed her hand along her fiancé’s thigh. “Most of the decisions are fine.”
“It’s our siblings who are the problem,” Dylan complained.
Killian knew Cameron and Jessie were off volunteering with an organization that took them all over the world. It couldn’t be easy finding a weekend for everyone to be back in Swan Harbor at the same time.
“It’s not just them,” Gray groaned. “It’s my parents too. My mom is presenting at a few psychiatry conferences we have to schedule around.”
Killian had met Mary and Clint Hunter, a few times the previous summer. He’d even worked a case with Gray’s mother, when he’d happened upon a runaway living in an old building and needed a psychiatrist. They had the kind of relationship he was beginning to realize he wanted.
The conversation went on around him, and while he didn’t feel completely comfortable, neither did he feel as if he didn’t belong.
Llama llama red pajama feels alone without his mama.
Emma was friends with Molly and Sadie, and he could easily imagine her sitting next to him. She’d fit in as if she’d been a part of the group forever. Was that what he was hoping for?
Llama llama red pajama in the dark without his mama. Eyes wide open, covers drawn …. What if Mama Llama’s gone?
Killian’s attention drifted for several minutes until he heard Emma’s name in conjunction with the treatment of Rene’s horse. He dialed back into the conversation, hoping Sadie would offer news. And while a part of him wanted to ask, it didn’t feel right. Emma, he sent out a silent plea to those around him.
Llama llama red pajama hollers loudly for his mama.
Baby Llama stomps and pouts. Baby Llama jumps and shouts.
As the evening progressed, the lights lowered, the candles were lit, and the music took on a more romantic tone. Killian’s feeling of loneliness grew, and he decided to leave, thinking being home alone was better than at a date night event without a date.
Llama llama red pajama weeping, wailing for his mama. Will his mama ever come? Mama Llama, run, run, run!
“Sadie,” the tone of Molly’s voice kept his arse on his chair for some reason, “Grace told me about her dog, Bo Peep. Is she okay?”
Sadie shivered. “She’s fine now, but it was touch and go for a few days.”
“What happened?” Dylan leaned back and draped his arm along the back of Molly’s chair.
“Bo Peep was hit by a car,” Sadie replied, quietly. “It happened right after Emma returned from her trip. She was wonderful.”
Emma’s been busy, floated through his mind.
“She is a good vet,” Rene added.
“She’s a natural,” Sadie agreed.
“I heard from Grace,” Molly explained, “that poor Bo Peep had to have surgery.”
“Let’s not talk about that,” Sadie laughed. “Good news is that Emma hired Leroy to help with not only surgeries but at night, as well.”
Leroy? Killian’s gaze met Rusty’s. He’s been busy this week.
“Sadie doesn’t do so well with blood.” Gray kissed her on the cheek. “She was white as a ghost when I picked her up that day.”
“Thank goodness for Leroy,” Sadie leaned into Gray. “Between the phones, the surgeries, and all the kittens roaming the clinic, the place is quite hectic.
Baby Llama, what a tizzy! Sometimes Mama’s very busy.
Please stop all this llama drama and be patient for your mama.
p.m.
Blogs, Emma thought, closing her computer and setting it aside. From her senior year in high school, until she’d graduated from veterinarian school, he’d been there. But how had she not seen him? How had she not known he’d cared?
“He’s really changed,” Emma murmured, thinking about her discussion with Elsa about bad boys and loners.
Bad boys and loners only stay that way until the right woman comes along, didn’t you know that?
Was that what Amber was for her dad?
Emma flipped through the photos on her phone, finding the one of her father and his fiancé. Peter Foster looked happy and at peace, something she couldn’t remember him ever being.
Elsa had gone on to list television and movie couples where love had tamed the bad boy. But what about Killian? Her first two encounters with him were in direct contradiction with what she’d felt when they were dancing.
Killian had been on a journey to find himself.
Could she be the right woman for him?
He’s a good guy. Give him a chance.
“Okay, Elsa, I’m going to trust you.” Emma punched in Killian’s cell number, attached the picture Elsa had taken at the dance and wrote a short note.
It was time for her to take a chance.
Killian’s Apartment, Friday 11:50 p.m.
halfway between sleep and wakefulness. An area that was oftentimes his friend; like when it worked to solve problems. But it was also the area that reminded him he was alone.
The gentle buzz of an incoming text had him turning away from where the phone lay and punching his pillow into submission. If he kept his eyes closed, he could pretend he was asleep. And besides, he was sure it was a text from Liam talking about his date with Elsa.
The languid feeling, dragging him into sleep, washed over him.
What if it’s not from Liam? that inner voice offered.
Who else could it be?
Emma?
His eyes flew open, immediately going to the clock.
Would Emma really be texting this late?
She’s been busy. Check.
The more Emma’s name floated through his head, the faster his heart raced and the more awake he became. “Bloody hell!” he mumbled, rolling over and sitting up. “If it’s Liam, I’ll …”
Little Llama, don’t you know, Mama Llama loves you so?
Mama Llama’s always near, even if she’s not right here.
When he lightly touched the screen and saw the message, his heart rate skyrocketed and with a shaking hand he brought the phone close.
“Emma.”
Emma: It seems we weren’t very good at hiding our identities from each other, were we? We should talk soon. Emma.
The picture of the two of them proved what he already knew; they belonged together.
His thumbs hovered over the keyboard, trying to decide how to respond. He wanted to scream, I love you. Marry me! But he wasn’t that big of a prat and typed a simple message.
Opening the picture, he lay down and allowed himself to get lost in the memories of the night it was taken.
Llama llama red pajama gets two kisses from his mama, snuggles pillow soft and deep ….
Baby Llama goes to sleep.
“Goodnight, Emma.” he whispered, as the lethargy pulled him under.
a.m.
When Emma woke up on Saturday, she couldn’t help but wonder if she had dreamed everything that had transpired the evening before. There had been a letter and an online journal from her father. And she’d sent Killian a text and was taking a chance leopards could change their spots. Neither of those were things that happened to her every day. But the letter on the sofa next to her laptop convinced her it was true. She had always been loved. In fact, she was loved.
Her phone had fallen between the sofa cushions, but once she found it, a text had her heart beating a rapid pitter pat inside her chest.
Killian: Good morning, Doc. The picture is one I will treasure. Are you okay?
Why would he ask me if I was okay?
Emma: Am I okay?
Killian: Aye. I’ve worried it was my ugly mug that sent you running from the Ball.
Emma: Not you, Killian. Just someone from my past.
Killian: Ghosts have a way of showing up when you least expect them.
He didn’t know the half of it, Emma thought, looking at the journal blog she had reopened.
Emma: True. Sometimes things happen you would never expect.
Don’t push me, she silently pleaded.
Killian: I heard what you did for Bo Peep. Nice job, Doc.
His compliment created a warm feeling inside she hadn’t expected.
Emma: Thank you. It was tricky repairing that poor dog’s degloving.
Killian: Degloving? I wasn’t aware dogs even had hands.
Emma laughed at his statement, but then quickly sobered, He’s not serious, is he?
Emma: You know dogs don’t have hands, right?
Killian: Of course. I’m not completely daft.
No, she couldn’t help but think. There certainly seems to be more going on with him than she’d thought.
Emma: Degloving is where the top layer of skin is removed from the underlying tissue.
Killian: And you had to put it back together? Delicate work.
Emma typed a response, but lack of time had her rushing through their communications. She had a few, what should be, routine appointments, and then she planned to get more acquainted with Killian. Now she’d made the decision to take a chance, she needed to gather facts. Needed to make sure she wasn’t making a big mistake.
Hours later, Emma waved goodbye to the last patient of the day and as soon as the door was locked, pulled out her phone. “Well, poop!” she exclaimed, realizing she’d never hit send on her last message and would need to revise.
Emma: Sorry, I had to vaccinate a Felis catus and do a checkup on a Canis lupus familiaris.
Killian: What color was the Tabby Cat?
His response had her giggling and wishing she could have seen his face when he first read her text.
Emma: Google help with the answer, Killian?
Killian: Don’t get cheeky, Doctor Foster.
His quick answer made her laugh.
“You win this one, Elsa.” she whispered, making a note to reach out to her friend soon.