Chapter 6

Elsa’s Apartment

New Year’s Day 7:45 a.m.

“That’s okay,” Elsa grumbled on her way to the kitchen. “I didn’t expect you to be up this early.”

“Couldn’t sleep.”

“No?” Elsa peeked around the corner, “Busy mind?”

“How’d you know?”

Elsa rolled her eyes and disappeared for several minutes before returning with a donut and a cup of coffee. “Please, Emma,” she sunk onto the sofa, “don’t do that.”

“Sorry,” Emma grimaced, realizing her reprieve was over. “But why don’t you wake up a little more and tell me about Liam.”

“You’re stalling,” Elsa accused. “But I do have a message for you.”

“For me?” Emma fought to keep the corners of her mouth straight. “From Killian?”

“See.” Elsa beamed. “That wasn’t so tough, was it?”

Emma thought about denying everything but knew it wouldn’t do any good. “Okay, I’m interested. But just because he makes my heart go pitter pat, doesn’t mean he’s good relationship material. Even if I was in the market for one.”

“You don’t think you owe it to yourself to find out?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Emma replied, taking a last sip of her cocoa, “bad boys and loners have a tough time giving up their roving eye for just one person.”

“That’s not true,” Elsa protested. “Bad boys and loners only stay that way until the right woman comes along. Don’t you know that?

“Says who?”

“Come on,” Elsa claimed. “Don’t you ever watch romantic shows? Let’s see.” She held up one finger. “There’s Johnny, you know Baby saved him in Dirty Dancing.” A second finger flew up, “We can’t forget Edward in Pretty Woman. Vivian saved him and he saved her from a life on the streets.” Up went the third finger. “And there’s Danny Zuko. Who would he have been without Sandy?”

Emma shook her head, “Those are the movies, though, not real life.”

“I’ve got more.” Elsa went on, holding up a fourth finger. “How about Lee Stetson from Scarecrow and Mrs. King? Self-centered bachelor until Amanda came into his life. And, drum roll please,” she held up her little finger, “Remington Steele, who was a con man and a thief until he fell for Laura Holt.”

Emma laughed, but it felt hollow, and somehow, she knew it was time to talk. “While that might be true in those shows you love, I know firsthand leopards never change their spots.”

“What are you trying to tell me?” Elsa set down her cup, stuffing the paper towel from her pastry inside it and leaned forward.

Emma glanced at the cup in her hands and quickly did the same. “Did you ever wonder why my parents never came to see me in college? Why, it was always just my mom.”

Elsa shrugged. “Oh, maybe a few times? But you were always a private person, and I assumed your parents were divorced.”

“No.” Emma frowned, realizing she didn’t know when...or even if her parents were divorced. But by the time she’d gone to college, her father had been out of her life for several years. “I was never high on my father’s priority list.”

“Oh, Emma,” Elsa empathized. “I’m sure that’s not true.”

“It’s true,” Emma sighed, knowing it was time to talk about her childhood. “Need another cup of coffee? It’s a long, convoluted story.”

Elsa studied her for several seconds, “Okay, let me get reinforcements. Want more hot chocolate?”

After they replenished their drinks, Emma took a deep breath and began, “Unlike yours, I come from quite the dysfunctional family. I hope I don’t scare you away.”

Elsa shook her head, “Don’t be silly. I’m your friend. Tell me only what you’re comfortable with.”

“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Emma tried again, a part of her hoping to hear, ‘never mind. I don’t really want to hear the story.’

But Elsa just raised a brow and Emma found herself stepping back, almost as if she was detaching from reality.

“Once upon a time, a rich little girl was raised by her father in an ivory tower. You see, not long after the little girl was born, her mother had died, and her father became very protective. The little girl tried hard to be good … she really did. But there was a wild streak inside of her, and quite often her daddy had to pay to make things go away. But then she graduated and went to college, which was very important to her father. For he had plans for her to take over his business one day. You see, she was a King.”

“King Industries,” Elsa said as if she’d only just realized it. “Your mother owns my hospital, and that explains why she was at the ball last night.”

Emma nodded. “To be honest, I’m surprised, I didn’t see more people I knew.”

“But,” Elsa frowned, “I know you aren’t close to your mother, so why did you …?”

“We haven’t gotten to the convoluted part yet,” Emma muttered.

“By all means …”

Emma recentered her thoughts and continued, “The little girl went to college, discovered she enjoyed learning, and four years later graduated magna cum laude. As a gift, her father sent her on a month-long trip with promises of grooming her to takeover King Industries once she returned.”

“And where did she go?”

“Brest.” Emma readied for the next part of her story. “It’s located in Belarus, on the Poland border. But she had gone there with a purpose as she knew her college crush was there working.”

“Working?” Elsa broke in. “What did he do?”

“I’m getting there,” Emma promised. “As luck would have it, she was sitting in a small cafe one morning, and he sat down next to her.

Elsa practically swooned, “Oh, how romantic.”

Emma nodded slowly and hated to admit Elsa was right. On the outside looking in, it was very romantic. “I guess so,” she acknowledged, moving on with her story. “He was a consummate flirt and when he wasn’t working, he spent all his extra hours with her. She fell head over heels, forgetting her father’s plans for her back in the states.”

After a few weeks, she traveled with the object of her crush to Ternitz, in lower Austria. He went into work every day, and she was content to play tourist. And as you can imagine, her father was not happy and wanted her to come home. But…she was stubborn, and she was in love.

Six weeks later, she defied her father and flew with lover her to Marseille, in the Southeast of France. She was convinced he would propose, and they would live happily-ever-after. But when his work was done, with little more than a pat on the head, he flew on to his next job. The little rich girl was left heartbroken and pregnant.”

Elsa’s quick inhalation filled the silence.

“Yeah,” Emma acknowledged, “didn’t end so well, did it?”

“That must have been a scary time for your mom.”

“Maybe,” Emma conceded. “She survived and life moved on.”

“Come on, Emma,” Elsa scolded. “You aren’t that jaded, are you?”

Was she? She’d used to think so, but the older she got the more she was able to look at the entire situation through a different lens. Mistakes had been made by all.

“No? Yes?” Emma shrugged. “I don’t think so. But now for the convoluted part. “My grandfather wasn’t happy and with the swipe of his pen, he ruined my father’s career. My parents were pushed into marriage and any negative press was squashed.”

“They couldn’t get back the feelings they’d had for each other?”

“I don’t know,” Emma confessed. “I never asked. But looking back, they tolerated each other. There were several times each year when my grandfather commanded the appearance of a happy family. On those occasions, my dad could be bought. A new watch here, ten-thousand dollars there. What mattered was that it looked as if he had the perfect family. A beautiful daughter, her adoring and famous husband, and their little princess.”

“What about you, Emma?” Elsa asked gently. “What did you need?”

“Nothing,” Emma quickly denied. “I had Johanna and the other members of the staff doting on me. In fact, it’s because of them, I wanted to become a veterinarian.”

“Oh?”

“Yes, but that’s for another day.”

“Well, okay,” Elsa capitulated almost too easily. “But I need a refill, and,” her blue eyes met Emma’s green. “your father? Who is it?”

“Peter Foster.”

“What!?” Elsa screeched. “The actor?”

Liam’s Apartment, New Year’s Day 8:45 a.m.

had been at the forefront of Killian’s mind.

After mum left you changed, but Violet’s death sent you spiraling even quicker.

That comment had been nothing new. What he didn’t know was what had precipitated his desire to change. Had it been Emma or something else?

You’ve used that pretty face of yours to get females to do whatever you wanted since mum left.

But that statement didn’t feel right either. While his behavior might have changed at the time his mum left, he didn’t believe the cause was just her behavior. What stuck in his head was seeing his larger-than-life father crying like a baby, hugging a bottle of scotch.

Afterward, he’d gone through school, college, and the academy, treating women like trophies.

You behaved like a git.

He had. At least, he was man enough to admit that for years, he’d collected females but never allowed them close enough to touch his heart.

Until Emma.

She had already burrowed her way into his heart, and he didn’t want to let her go.

He tugged on a clean shirt and studied his image in the mirror. What did people see when they looked at him? Was it his black hair that looked like he’d just run his fingers through it? Or was it his blue eyes, which, in the morning light, showed tiny wrinkles from squinting in the sun? Could it be his mouth … or chin … or the nose he’d always thought a touch too large?

Had he ever paid attention to how he looked, really? Or was it just the behavior his looks elicited?

He couldn’t say for sure about the past. But for his future … with Emma, he didn’t want his looks to matter. His heart, his protective nature and that he was a good listener. Those were the things he wanted to show her.

Will she listen?

“Bloody hell, I hope so.” He crammed his wallet in his pocket and went to find Liam.

“It’s about time you showed your ugly mug,” Liam groused.

“Bugger off, Liam,” Killian shot right back. “I’m here, aren’t I?

“You are.” Liam’s eyes twinkled. “But if I were you, I’d grab a cup of coffee as our guest,” he hesitated a beat just as the doorbell rang, “is here.”

There was only one person Killian knew who was that punctual.

“Dad.”

“Hello, Killian.” Finn Reade stepped into the room, a broad smile on his face. “It’s good to see you again.”

“And you,” Killian forced out a response. “Liam didn’t tell me you were coming by this morning.”

Liam gloated. “I’m going to run out and grab some bagels while you two catch up.”

Talk to him, Liam’s eyes pleaded. “I won’t be long.”

It took several awkward moments before Killian was able to recover his wits. “Coffee with a splash of milk?”

Finn smiled, “You remembered.”

“It’s just coffee.” Killian poured cups for both, before joining his father at that table. “You look good, Dad. How have you been?”

His father was wearing a dark, obviously tailored suit, combined with a light blue shirt, multicolored tie and shiny black shoes. Several steps up from the jeans, plaid shirt and dirty tennis shoes he’d been wearing the last time they’d been together.

“Thank you.” Killian felt Finn’s dark eyes studying his appearance. “I was just going to say the same about you. How long has it been, son?”

“A couple years.” Killian’s cheeks heated, and he had to look away from his father’s intense gaze.

“That’s right.” Finn leaned back and crossed one foot over the other knee. “Just before you were going undercover, right?”

Killian nodded, ashamed he’d only gone to see his father, because he was worried he might not make it out alive.

“I heard you moved away from New York after it was over,” Finn continued. “What happened?”

He hadn’t planned on it, but just like when he’d been a kid, the entire story came rushing out. Details were shared he’d not told another soul. And while there were pieces of the story, he held back; Killian told his father about Violet. Of how it had taken her zest for life to save him, but how he hadn’t been able to save her.

“I shoved the pain and the guilt so far away, I thought it would never touch me.”

“But it found you, didn’t it?”

“Aye.” Killian gave his father a self-deprecating grin. “I’ve been staying with Liam for a few weeks laying a few ghosts to rest.”

“Has it worked?” Finn asked quietly.

“It’s worked, but …”

“Just say it,” Finn spit out. “Whatever it is. I’ll help if I can.”

Killian pushed up from the table to lean against the window frame. “Liam made a comment the other day about using my pretty face, and it’s made me question …”

“Tired of the love ‘em and leave ‘em lifestyle, Killian?”

His initial impulse was to quip but with a lop-sided smile, he confessed, “I met someone.”

“And?”

“I, I want to be a man who is worthy of her heart.”

“I get the feeling you’re after something specific,” Finn pushed a little harder.

“Liam believes my behavior is linked to mother leaving,” Killian confided in a rush. “I just don’t want …”

“You don’t want to lose yourself to someone like I did,” Finn concluded. “And you want to know how come I was bloody arseholed all the time after your mother left?”

Killian opened and closed his mouth several times, “What happened?” was all he could think to say.

When Finn stood and moved to sit on the sofa, Killian expected him to change the subject. However, his father surprised him.

“You’re doing a brave thing facing your ghosts,” Finn confessed. “I should have done that much quicker than I did. Have a seat and let me tell you my story.”

“I met Claire when I was 21 and she was just 17. With her long black hair and big blue eyes, I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. It wasn’t long before we were inseparable.”

Finn told him that as soon as Claire turned 18, they had run off and married. Nine months later Liam had been born and less than two years after that, Killian. With two children under the age of three, her behavior had become unpredictable, and a few years later they had moved to the United States.

“But she wouldn’t allow herself to be happy.” Finn ran his hand across his mouth as if what he was going to say next was distasteful, “And you know the rest, Killian. She left, and I fell apart.”

“But why?” Killian pushed, still not understanding. “Why allow her to have such control?”

Finn sighed, “I was young and foolish. But Killian loving someone doesn’t mean losing yourself. When you love someone, you want to be your better self. Your mother and I … we weren’t right. However, she gave me you and Liam and for that I am thankful.”

For years after his mother left, Killian had known his father was unhappy. He’d spent much of that time bladdered, and his real estate business had suffered.

“You’ve changed too,” Killian alleged, noting the man from those days was not the one sitting next to him.

Finn chuckled, “Finally! Wasn’t it about time?”

He stopped talking when the door opened with Liam’s return. “Sorry, it took so long. Fresh bagels are on.”

Once Liam had gone into the kitchen, Finn leaned closer, “Killian, when you’re talking about love, you have to be patient. Do you have any other questions?”

“Not right now.”

Finn’s dark eyes clashed with his blue ones. “If you think of something, you can call.” He hesitated a beat, “You do still have my phone number, right?”

“Aye.” And because he wanted to move away from his less than admirable behavior, he changed the subject. “Liam told me you’re selling high-end real estate these days.”

The little smirk that crossed Finn’s mouth said he knew what was going on, but when he started talking about his new business, Killian relaxed. Even more so when his father called Liam into the room and the conversation flowed smoothly for several minutes.

“I’m sorry to say, but I need to leave.” Finn gave a long-suffering sigh, however the sparkle in his eye belied his unhappiness. “The life of a real estate agent is often at the beck and call of others.”

Liam frowned, “Who’s looking at a place on New Year’s Day?”

“A beautiful woman who doesn’t enjoy American football.”

“Ahh—,” Liam began.

“Stop being cheeky, Liam,” Finn quipped. He then surprised Killian, by hugging him, before waving goodbye.

“How did it go?” Liam asked as soon as the door shut.

Killian studied his brother, his conversation with his father floating around in his head. “It went well … and as much as it pains me to admit this, thank you.”

“Wasn’t so hard, was it?” Liam laughed. “Did you get your questions answered?”

“He gave me a lot of fodder for thought,” Killian conceded. The question was, would Emma think he was different? Would she spend time with the man she danced with last night? “Liam, do you think Emma might talk to me today?”

Day 11:30 a.m.

It had taken Elsa a while before she’d calmed down and for the last few hours, she’d been peppering Emma with questions about her father. Which was why she told no one she was related to Peter Foster. It made her feel too vulnerable to have to admit how little she knew about him.

“Sorry,” Elsa apologized. “I know I’m acting weird. But my mom had the biggest crush on him. She’s going to pester me for news when I tell her he’s your dad.”

“You’ll have to tell her you have none.” Emma confessed. “I, I haven’t seen him in years.”

“Years?”

“My grandfather passed when I was in high school, and my father took off. I haven’t seen or heard anything about him since. And,” Emma continued with the sad truth, “the last time I saw my mom was three, maybe four years ago.”

“At graduation?”

Emma nodded. “She was supposed to come to my graduation from vet school, but King business took her away.”

“Do you talk to her?”

“An email here and there.” Emma shrugged. “Phone calls a few times a year.”

“And that doesn’t bother you?” Elsa probed a little deeper.

Emma pondered the question for several seconds, “It is what it is. Would I have changed my family dynamics?” She gave a lop-sided smile, “Sure, who wouldn’t? But aren’t we products of our experiences, so change one thing—”

“—And we become an entirely different person,” Elsa finished.

“Exactly. And as much as I’ve enjoyed this confessional, I need to finish packing and head to the train station. Sadie is expecting me in the morning.”

“I hate it you have to go,” Elsa moaned, “even though I do understand. But Emma, what are you going to do about Killian?”

The feel of being in Killian’s arms warred with the memory of him surrounded by groupies.

The sweet things he had uttered to her last night fought with the memory of his glib tongue those times in Swan Harbor.

When would the real Killian Reade stand up?

“I need time.”

“I’m here …”

“I know.”

When Elsa’s phone rang, and it was the hospital, Emma sighed with relief and went to finish packing. Anything else could wait.