CHAPTER SIX

 

It was a simple plan really. The girls called it Operation Sparkly Killer Pony Princess. Every window or sight line in the burned-out-village-themed room started at about five feet off the ground. My girls were shorter than that.

Three groups of four girls would just walk under the sight line of the windows, turn the corner, and shoot whatever boy was on the other side. Repeatedly. With probably more enthusiasm than was necessary. Then they'd march on to the next barricade and do it again. And again. And again.

The boys never realized what was going on because they were too stupid, or it never occurred to them that just out of the line of sight, a squad of third-graders was sneaking up on them. Actually, they didn't have to sneak at all. Not one of my girls had to stoop to stay undercover.

More than once I heard a boy swear. This was usually followed by their leader chastising them with a "nopey dopey!" The guys couldn't figure out how the girls appeared out of nowhere all of the time. It was a great psychological game. Sigh. I missed the CIA.

Soo Jin had Brian duty. And by that I mean she just shadowed him. If he was about to nail any of my girls, she'd appear, smiling at him until he was so flustered that he didn't realize she'd just shot him forty times. One of her more inspired moves was to fake a fall. Without thinking, Brian helped her up, only to discover too late that she'd shot him as he gave her his hand. I wanted to name this Operation Brian's Glands, but the doctor already had a rough time with the idea of flirting with a kid. So I kept that name to myself.

As for me, I was the gunrunner. Technically speaking, each player was supposed to charge their own gun when they ran out of lasers or whatever it was. Instead, each girl had one gun—but I'd secretly snagged a few more. I followed them, and as soon as they ran out of…um…lasers, I'd take the empty gun and give them one fully loaded.

Every now and then I'd have to run back and reload a bunch of guns, but we timed it just right so that no one was out of ammo. I wasn't sure where the hidden cameras were, but I thought that a couple of times I heard Kelly and Alex laughing. I couldn't be sure. Just as I couldn't be sure that I saw Betty doing something to a boy that involved a little crackle of electricity and him screaming in pain. I can't watch everyone all the time, now can I?

It wasn't long before the lights came on, and the voice of the handsome Alex came over the loudspeakers.

"We have a winner! Congratulations, girls! You won with a score of 50–13!"

Brian had to be restrained as he lunged at his sister. Kaitlyn stood, unflinching, and flicked him hard on the nose.

"Maybe you girls should go take off your gear first," the boys' leader said cheerfully. "And thanks for the super-duper game!"

I didn't wait for a demand for a rematch and began herding everyone into the tech room. We were out in the lobby before the boys came through. To their credit, the girls stood solemnly to the side as the boys emerged, red-faced and humiliated.

"You cheated!" Brian squeaked. His swagger had abandoned him.

Kaitlyn and Brian's mother, Ashley, stepped forward and glared at her son. "I guess you'll have to do dishes for a week for being a bad loser."

Brian's eyes grew wide with fear. Was that all it took? I should've used that threat against the drug runners who'd tried to shoot me in Colombia.

"Mom!" he whined.

The other boys were too deflated to give him a hard time. They left as quickly as they'd arrived. Bart gave us a friendly smile as he herded the boys outside.

"That was awesome!" Alex said as he high-fived each and every girl. More than one gazed at the hand that had touched his with awe. "Normally I'd call you on the gun-charging thing, but you were up against some pretty steep odds."

Kelly grinned widely. "We recorded that." She held up a camcorder. "I'm not sure what we should do with it, but I figure it doesn't hurt to have a little backup ammo."

"I'm not too proud of my part," Soo Jin said. "But those boys got what they deserved."

I didn't tell her that we had to win by any means necessary. My guess was that she wouldn't understand it. Still, I made a mental note to make it up to her. Dr. Body had been a real team player.

The entertainment center was much more crowded when we came out. Late afternoon on a Saturday, I guess. People of all ages were milling about, buying tokens, heading to the game room, or bowling. A line was forming near us for the laser-tag scenario.

A flash of blond caught my eye, and I froze. At the other end of the lobby, I thought I saw Riley. I started to wade through the mass of people. It was only brief glimpses of a nose or chin or those blue eyes, but putting them all together in my mind created a picture of Riley.

Still, I couldn't get a good look. Was it really him? If it was and he hadn't let me know he was in town, I was going to clock him good. Okay, so I'd been mad the past few times he'd shown up unannounced, but this was different. It felt like he was keeping me in the dark.

By the time I reached the other side, Riley—or the man who looked like him—was gone. I kept working my way back and forth across the room but never saw him again.

"What are you doing?" Kelly asked once I'd rejoined them.

"I thought I saw Riley," I whispered.

Kelly frowned and scanned our surroundings. "I don't see him. Are you sure?" I could tell that she was also upset that he may have been here and not said hi.

I shrugged. "I thought so."

Kelly stopped looking around. "I'm sure you're imagining it."

Alex appeared in front of me. "That was amazing. You guys did a great job! After Trent had told me about yesterday, I was sure you were going to get creamed. Man, you girls have guts!"

The girls started cheering. They'd never looked so happy. Even Soo Jin had to laugh. We all went outside and waited for them to get picked up. Once the last girl was gone, Kelly, Soo Jin, and I climbed into the car.

Kelly turned to me. "That really was amazing."

Soo Jin nodded. "You should've been a spy or a general or something."

I tried to look humble. I really did. "I guess I missed my calling."

 

*   *   *

 

"You did what?" Rex met up with me at home, holding a large pepperoni pizza.

I poured myself a glass of wine and handed him a beer. "It was easy. Just a matter of physics."

"Physics?" Rex asked. "I'm not sure you understand what physics is."

"Well, proportion, then. Frankly, it was lucky that the windows in the ruins were so high. I don't know if the boys have figured out what happened yet, but I'm pretty sure we can't pull that again."

"Dr. Body was an asset." Rex winked. "I'll bet she wasn't happy about being objectified."

 "Speaking of bodies, tell me about your dead guy." I changed the subject and shoved a slice of pizza into my mouth.

My boyfriend rolled his eyes. "Fine. It's going to be on the news tonight anyway. Dewey Barnes was murdered with a small caliber pistol at extremely close range. One bullet did it. And we did find something interesting in his car. Which is why I'm really here."

I felt the blood drain out of my face. "I don't like the sound of that."

Rex nodded. "We found a map in the glove compartment along with a .45."

I shook my head. "Oh no. You can't pin this on me."

"The map had your address on it. It seems that Dewey was looking for you."

I stomped around like an enraged toddler. "It's not fair! This is your dead body! Not mine! Someone planted that to implicate me! Maybe it was Juliette Dowd!"

Oh, I could just see that. My arch nemesis at the Council, Juliette, would do anything to get rid of me so that she could have Rex to herself. Maybe Rex would believe me and arrest her. I wondered if he'd let me ride along for that.

"It wasn't Juliette. And I don't know the significance of the map and gun yet. Barnes has no serious priors. No record of anything other than drug possession, and even then, it was a small amount."

"This murder isn't about me!" I insisted. "It's your turn!"

Rex laughed, "Are you saying I deserve a murder more than you?"

I nodded vigorously. "That's right. Well…someone else should have a murder. I've had more than my share."

My boyfriend grinned before walking over to the fridge and pulling out the bottle of wine. He refilled my glass—which was nice—but as he went to put the wine away, he stopped dead.

"What is it?" I asked as I followed his gaze to the movie poster for Spy Diary.

"Where did you get this?" Rex looked at me curiously.

"I didn't steal it. The manager threw it away." He wouldn't bust me for that, would he?

"Merry." Rex licked his lips. "We found something on the floor of the truck but thought it was nothing."

"What was it?"

"It was this same poster," Rex said. "And now I see it here. In fact, it's the only décor you've ever put up. Can you explain that?"

Now would be the right time to tell him about the movie. Rex knew about my past. But I didn't want Dewey's murder to be on me.

"Merry?"

I sighed heavily. "Sit down. I'd better tell you what I know."

 

*   *   *

 

When I finished, Rex had a dazed look on his face.

"You did what with a furnace filter in Mongolia?"

I shook my head. "What I did doesn't matter. It's what's happening now. Somebody sold the story of my life to Hollywood. And the Agency will be sending someone to deal with me soon. And now Dewey Barnes—whoever he was—was sent to deal with me also. I'm kind of in trouble."

"What will the CIA do to you?" Rex rubbed his chin.

"I don't know, but it won't be good. Years ago there was this guy who wrote a book about all of his missions—without the Agency's approval. He was never seen again."

Rex rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on! They can't just kill people! That's illegal."

"What? No! He was never seen again because he was sent to work at a science station in Antarctica. They didn't kill him." At least, I think they didn't…

"Why don't you and the girls"—he nodded at the cats—"stay with me for a bit. We can keep an eye on your house and see who shows up. If it looks ugly, I'll send officers over here."

"That's not a bad idea," I mused. "Only Riley and Maria know about you, and they won't tell."

Rex stood up, upsetting the cats. "Come on. I'll get Philby and Martini's things, and you pack a bag."

I rummaged around in my closet and found my suitcase. It took only a few minutes to throw clothes in there. As for the bathroom, I pretty much just scooped everything into the bag and zipped it up. Rex and the kitties were waiting for me by the front door. He had a box of kitty toys, cat food, and a few tins of tuna.

"Let's go," I said as I headed for the garage.

Rex frowned. "Where are you going?"

"To your house," I answered. "I'm just going to take an indirect route in case anyone is watching me."

We piled into the car, and I had Rex duck down. I wasn't going to make it easy for anyone to find me. Maria hadn't called to say they were already here, but if it had been Riley I'd seen and he was in on this, I wasn't taking any chances.

I hit the garage door remote and backed out of the driveway. To anyone watching, they'd just see me in the car. They'd have no idea I had a suitcase or even the cats with me. They'd just think I was running an errand. I took in every vehicle and person as I drove past Rex's house and down the street. Nothing seemed out of place. Maybe they weren't here yet.

After about ten minutes of driving and making sure we weren't followed, I took a very complicated route to the alley behind Rex's house. Pulling into the garage, Rex got out of the car with a cat under each arm. He ran to the back of his house and went in. Five minutes later, I joined him. We left the stuff in the car. We'd bring those in under the cover of darkness.

He closed the curtains and turned to me. "I'm going to run out for takeout. You stay here."

I nodded. I wasn't going anywhere. As soon as he was out the door, I ran upstairs to his bedroom and, with the lights off, surveilled my house. Nothing was happening. Which was good. It was only a matter of time though. I took out my cell and tried Riley again, but it went to voice mail, and I hung up.

I went over the facts in my head. Philby and Martini came in, jumped on the bed, and went to sleep. I'd have to find a way to keep them out of Rex's windows. If the Agency was half the spy company I thought it was, they'd know Rex had no pets and that I did. Seeing Philby in the window would give us away.

The events that led up to this point included a corpse and a movie. Obviously, the movie came first. Probably a year in advance. I grabbed Rex's laptop and googled the movie. A website for something called Black Ops Productions came up. How original. They only listed one movie—Spy Diary. Whoever they were, this was their first production.

I clicked on the movie's icon but was sent to a blank site with an apology. This page had already been wiped. I went back to the website, but it was no longer there. The CIA was closing it down.

Heading back to the search page, I found two other listings. One was a review by some movie critic for the Chicago Tribune. The other was an interview with the actor who played me. I clicked on that.

A video popped up, and I hit it. The actor was named Max Steele. Really? Max Steele? That's terrible. The actor was smiling at the screen, so I hit play.

"I was so excited to be part of such an amazing movie," the man gushed. "It's an existential look at how our government acts when nobody is watching. The whole movie was a metaphor for political upheaval and how one man can change the course of history."

Please. A metaphor? I know I didn't think it a metaphor when I was being chased by Dobermans in the Netherlands. And one man making a difference? That was annoying. I'm a woman. I did all that. No man did. This guy was trying to make something out of nothing. Well, if nothing had guns and bad guys, that is.

"I'm looking forward to the sequel," Max Steele said happily. "I hear the screenwriter is almost done with the script."

That made me sit up. Now he just needed to say who had written the damn thing so that I could kill him.

"The producer wishes to remain anonymous," Steele said. "They want the focus to be on the art and the philosophy. Their identity might detract from that."

I wasn't sure I could roll my eyes any harder. I tried. It hurt.

"And what's really exciting about this movie," the actor said as he looked carefully around him, "is that it's all true!"

Then the screen went blank. No! Right when I was getting somewhere. The screen then reappeared, but without the video of Max Steele. The guys at Langley were working fast. I quickly clicked on the Tribune article. Still there. Great.

Spy Diary is the most recent, ridiculous load of crap to come out of Hollywood. The producers expect us to believe that this was a true story. That this really happened. Please. I know when I'm being conned.

Hey! It did really happen!

And if it did really go down like they portrayed—then the spy in this movie was the worst in the history of spying.

Are you kidding me? It all happened! And I received commendations for my work!

Max Steele is the only standout, and even he falls flat as the foolish spy who makes one mistake after another over the course of the film. The writers should be shot and the producers arrested. Don't waste your money on this clunker.

For a moment I toyed with driving straight to Chicago and showing this moron just how true this story was. But then I remembered that I was trying to lay low. Besides, if anyone outside of the Agency did put two and two together to equal me, killing the critic might stand out as a tad unwise.

I waited for the website to disappear, but it didn't. Either Langley liked the review, thinking it was proof that this story was all made up, or they hadn't seen it yet. But they had entire rooms full of analysts who wouldn't have missed something like that, so that theory seemed unlikely.

For ten more minutes I tried to find more intel on the movie, but the CIA had obviously cleared the more damning evidence out. Did they know who the screenwriter was? Would they go after him or her? What about the producers? Were they about to be kidnapped off the streets and taken to a dripping (they were always dripping) and abandoned warehouse to undergo trial by pliers?

I figured Max Steele was pretty safe. He was just an idiot. Too bad that this was probably his last film. Actors probably don't get more work from a film no one has ever seen.

"Merry!" Rex shouted from the back of the house, downstairs.

I made my way down with the laptop under my arm. The food was already plated, and there were two glasses of wine on the table. I set the computer on the sideboard and joined him for the Chinese feast he'd picked up.

While we ate, I filled him in on what I'd discovered.

"Sounds like they're closing in." Rex frowned.

"Well, duh!" I said as I stuffed more sweet-and-sour chicken into my mouth. "What did you think was going on?"

"I just thought you were orchestrating the whole thing so you could move in with me." Rex spoke as if he were asking me to pass the salt.

I stared at him. "You're joking."

He gave me a look I couldn't decipher. "Yes, I'm joking…about the orchestration bit."

"Isn't that the whole thing?"

He shrugged. "It just seems like this is a good time to talk about taking our relationship to the next level."

If you'd dropped a piano on me, I would never have guessed that this was something Rex wanted to discuss.

"Really?"

He nodded. "Yes. Really."

We stared at each other for a moment. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? And what did I think he'd said?

"Um, okay. Let's talk," I finally said.

Philby and Martini trotted into the room. They seemed to be upset that they hadn't been invited to dinner. Rex got up and brought them each a little plate of tuna before sitting down again. That seemed to placate them. For the moment at least.

He looked at me with those stunning eyes. I loved those eyes. I loved everything about him. In fact, we'd only recently started saying the L-word. And why was I calling it the L-word?

"Okay," Rex said before taking a sip of his wine. "Well, where do we want this relationship to go?"

Ugh. He was asking the wrong person. I'd had only one other relationship—and that had been with my former boss, Riley. The man I was hallucinating everywhere. The man who, I'd learned just a few months ago, hadn't actually cheated on me. I'd left him for the wrong reasons. We'd never talked about it since then. As far as relationships went, I wasn't very good at this talking thing.

"I love our weekends together. Renting movies and making dinner. We could maybe do that during the week too?"

Argh! I'm an idiot! This was harder than trigonometry. I was screwing it up, and I knew it.

"Is that all you want from me? A few more dates a week?" Rex studied me.

"Um, yes?" I had a feeling the minute those words left my mouth that they'd been the wrong ones. "I mean, no?"

"What do you want, Merry?"

"What do you want, Rex?" I figured turning the question on him was only fair. Why should I do all the heavy thinking?

"Okay." He nodded. "That's fair. I'd like to see us move to the next level."

The words hung in the air like smog in Beijing. This was a big step.

"You want me to move in with you?" I asked, recalling his words from earlier.

"Yes," he said after a very long pause. Did that mean he wasn't sure?

"I don't know what to say?" I stuffed more food in my mouth.

"Why not?"

"Because I haven't really thought about it." It suddenly seemed like that might've been the wrong answer.

"Why haven't you thought about it?" Rex looked at me intently.

Why haven't I thought about it? We'd been together almost a year now. Did I think we'd just have weekend dates until we died of old age?

"I guess I've just been distracted. There's always some corpse showing up in my yard, or my troop getting into trouble, or my cats…"

He pointed his fork at me. "I think you're ignoring the subject on purpose."

"What? Why? Why would I do that?" I was starting to panic. Because he was right, I had been ignoring the subject.

But why? I loved Rex. I'd told him that. My cats were pretty much his cats. Was I afraid to move on to the next step?

"What exactly," I said as I squirmed in my seat, "is the next step?"

Rex didn't say anything for a few moments, which made me think he didn't know either. That was good. He didn't have a plan in place, and I didn't look like an idiot for not having a plan in place.

Finally, he just gave me a blank look. "You know what? You're right. Forget I said anything."

I swallowed hard. "Okay."

That sounded worse. Either we were putting it off or we were now on the downward slide to breakup land. I didn't want to lose Rex. On the other hand, I wasn't sure what I wanted from our relationship. Was I ready to become a formal couple? And what did that entail exactly? I needed to talk to Kelly. She and Robert had been married forever. Maybe she could interpret what Rex was asking me to do, because it seemed to be more than just moving in together.

How did I end up in this situation? I was just walking along, minding my own business, stepping over all the corpses that seemed to surround me lately, and trying to keep my Scouts from becoming mercenaries. Now my boyfriend wanted more. And worse than that, he wanted me to know what that more was.

We spent the rest of the night in a vague and uneasy silence. The movie was alright, but I couldn't focus. My mind was all over the place wondering what I'd done wrong and how it happened that way.

"Look." Rex turned to me once the movie was over. "I don't want this to be weird. Technically, you're my guest. So I'll make up the guest room for you."

My jaw dropped, but I nodded. We hadn't had many overnight sleepovers. I liked sleeping in my own bed. So using the guest room would be okay. It just left this weirdness between us, and I didn't like that.

As I climbed into bed that night, I cut myself some slack. Tomorrow I'd talk to Kelly. She'd know what to do. And tomorrow I'd start putting this case together. That made me feel a little better.

Now where were Philby and Martini? I heard a pair of mews in the next room and realized they'd abandoned me to sleep with Rex. Great. At least someone was getting a little attention.