I really wanted to punch her. But I didn't. Partly because she had gone all giddy over my ring. And partly because she was my friend and had what I assumed was the most brilliant explanation ever. And if she didn't, then I'd punch her.
"Why? And after all these years of friendship…" I wondered.
"Which were totally real. We worked together for the CIA. And I was legit. Until a year ago."
"Who do you work for?" I growled, fists at my sides.
"It's not like that." Maria took a millistep back, but I recognized the defensive stance.
"You're a traitor? How is that possible? In what dimension is that possible?"
Maria took a deep breath. "I'm not a traitor. I don't work for any other government."
"So what are you then?"
"I'm a patriot."
Patriot. That was a loaded word. John Adams and George Washington were patriots. But then so were Hitler and Stalin.
"You have five minutes to explain before I take you in."
It was a bold bluff. I wasn't armed with anything more than pocket lint. She and the boys didn't appear to be armed either, but I learned a long time ago not to assume anything.
"It all started last year when I was promoted. My security clearance gave me access to very sensitive intel. That's when I found out about the Yaro Plans."
She seemed to want me to react a certain way, but I was still a mess of emotions. And one of them was that I wished I'd never heard of the Yaro Plans.
"I'm not a traitor. I'm a patriot because what I really am is a whistle-blower."
I stared at her. "You wanted to let the world know about the Yaro Plans?"
"I wanted to level the playing field, Merry. Something like this…I don't want to say that it's unfair, because it's so much worse than that."
I thought about Edward Snowden—a man who also thought he was a patriot. A man who now hid in Russia.
"That isn't our decision, Maria," I said evenly.
"It's wrong, Merry. One nation, even if it's mine, shouldn't have all that access to everything. Do you know what might happen? What would stop the leadership of the US from using that intel to kill other operatives, start wars between other nations, blackmail politicians throughout the world, or all of the other horrible possibilities?"
My legs were wobbly, and I went to sit down on one of the couches. Abed offered me some peanut butter sandwich cookies, but I shook my head.
"When we joined the CIA," I said slowly, "we vowed to support and defend our country."
"To me, that means even from itself. Think about it for a minute, Merry. One country has access to the only two major software companies? It's too much power. Power no one should have. The playing field should be level. It won't be once Yaro goes into effect. Why should the US have such power?"
"Why the Russians? You could've given it to the UK or Germany. A country less hostile to us."
Maria sat down next to me. "They're allies. What if they liked the idea? What if they just went along with it? It had to be someone on the opposite side. And it doesn't give them the technology. It just…"
"Levels the playing field," I repeated her words.
We sat in silence for a while. I needed to wrap my head around this. Maria was right. I understood that. I looked up and watched Kevin, covered in powdered sugar, as he struggled to open a bag of chips.
"Why involve me?" I asked weakly. "You kind of turned my life upside down."
"I am sorry about that. I really am. It was an opportunity I had to take. The minute I knew about Riley's book, I had to jump on that."
"How did you know about Riley's book in the first place?"
She hesitated. It was clear that she didn't want to tell me.
"You've ruined his career, Maria. You might as well tell me."
"Riley and I worked together on a case and became friends. One night in Estonia we drank too much, and he told me about the book. And about his feelings for you."
I held up my index finger. "Do not distract me with Riley's feelings. Stay on topic."
She nodded in agreement, "Anyway, I saw this as my opportunity to out Yaro."
"How did you get it away from him?"
"I got him to open his safe and show it to me. He passed out cold, and I closed the safe and slipped away with the book."
I said nothing.
"I never wanted to hurt you or Riley. But this is much, much bigger than all of us."
I thought about Maria. She was the kindest person I knew. If you needed help, she'd show up with ammo and a bazooka. I guess I could see how she'd be horrified by the idea of the Yaro Plans. What I couldn't understand was that she actually went rogue.
"So what happens now?" I asked.
"Abed and Kurt go back to Langley and keep an eye on things for me. I've told them they are not to act on anything—just let me know if the Agency comes close to finding me."
"Finding you?" Of course—she had to leave.
Maria nodded sadly. "Russia's offered me a home, but there's no way I'm going there. You know how I hate cold weather."
"I'm guessing you won't tell me?"
"It's better this way. It's the least I can do to keep you out of whatever happens next."
"So this is good-bye?" My eyes welled up a little.
"It is." She hugged me.
"I suppose you're going to turn down the option of being one of my bridesmaids, then."
Maria laughed. "Send me a video." She got to her feet, and I realized Abed and Kurt were gone.
"And this place?" I asked.
"Will be 'accidentally' burned to the ground in the wee hours of the morning. Faulty wiring, I'm afraid. So dangerous."
We laughed, but I didn't feel better. I was still extremely conflicted as I walked out into the rear parking lot. I looked back and saw a spark go up. It turned into flames a few moments later. I ran to the front to make sure the teen at the counter was gone. She was.
I ran inside and grabbed a pint of Ben & Jerry's and a box of plastic spoons before the front of the building caught fire. Sitting on the curb across the street, I dug in and watched the fire. I ate the whole pint.
It didn't take long for the fire department to arrive, quickly followed by Rex and an ambulance. He didn't see me, and I didn't make my presence known. I wasn't going to lie to Rex about Maria. But I could give her a little more time to get away. I liked her too much to turn her in right now.
I got home before Rex and snuck into my house to see if Riley was there. He wasn't. I called him. He didn't answer, but I left him a message explaining that I needed to see him. Depressed and exhausted, I walked across the street to Rex's house and crawled into bed. And then I screamed.
Philby had left a dead mouse on my pillow. It was actually kind of sweet of her.