Times have certainly changed, but on the inside men and women still have some very significant differences. When a man gets married he still hopes his wife will stay the same, while she still hopes that after their marriage he will change. Men continue to wonder what will make a woman happy, while women tend to overanalyze a man’s behavior. When he is quiet and withdrawn, she wonders, “Does he love me, did I say something wrong, are we drifting apart, did I do something to bother him?…” In reality, he is probably just wondering what’s on TV.
Never in history have men and women been so close. Not only are men wanting to spend more time on romance, women are working side by side with men in the office. Although we are definitely becoming more similar, it doesn’t mean we are the same or that we need to be the same. It is our differences that attract us to each other. Differences make our partners interesting and attractive. Yet it is also our differences that create problems. The biggest problem, however, is our tendency to expect our partners to think and feel the way we do. By reading Truly Mars and Venus, and remembering that men are from Mars and women are from Venus, this most important problem is easily solved.
Our gender differences are most easily understood and resolved by approaching them with a sense of humor. Men and women in my seminars often thank me for presenting this information in a playful and humorous manner. With smiles on their faces they are able to open up and really hear the message. Throughout Truly Mars and Venus, in this humorous way, men gain the insight to answer their age-old question, “What makes a woman happy?” On the other hand, a woman begins to understand the reasons behind what she considers to be a man’s often bizarre behavior.
For example, she will understand, “Why does a man tend to ignore a woman after he has just spent quality time together?” or in other words, why he doesn’t call. A man will understand certain basic ideas like, “Why does a woman talk to a man about problems when she is not looking for a solution?” or why sometimes she talks about problems that have no solution. So many mysteries, and so much fun to solve them.
On Mars, if you can’t solve a problem, then the solution is to forget it and move on. On Venus, their philosophy is different: “If we can’t solve it, then at least we talk about it.” By understanding our different approaches to stress and problem solving, both men and women can learn to be more supportive than ever before.
It is not the case that we don’t want to be supportive. No one wakes up in the morning thinking, “How can I annoy my partner today.” (At least in the beginning.) When we fall in love, we all want to give our best. The hidden problem is that our best is not always what our partner is wanting and needing most. We automatically tend to give the support we would want and not what our partner really wants.
As a man, if I am not in a good mood, I will often want to be left alone and, in a friendly way, be ignored until my mood changes. The last thing I want is to be questioned about how I feel. A woman, however, will expect her partner to notice and ask her caring questions about her day. Without this information about our differences, if she was having a bad hair day, I would simply ignore her in a friendly manner, mistakenly concluding that I was being supportive. She would in turn wonder, “How could he be ignoring me at a time when I need him the most. Doesn’t he care about me anymore?” By this simple misunderstanding, her mood would get worse instead of improve. By trying to be supportive, I would have unknowingly made things worse.
Throughout Truly Mars and Venus you will discover the many ways we often give what we want when that is not necessarily what our partner wants. Within a few days you will gain the insight required to make sure the love you feel in your heart is successfully communicated through your actions and reactions. In this short and easy-to-read book, you will get the essence of all my Mars Venus Books and discover the many secrets of life on Mars and Venus. While for some, it does not replace the need for a more in-depth study of our differences, it does immediately open our minds and hearts to a much more successful way of relating to one another.
This little book isn’t just a practical manual for successful relationships, it is also a fun read. You, like the thousands of others who have attended my Mars Venus seminars, will laugh your way through the many examples of how we commonly misunderstand and unnecessarily frustrate each other. Not only does this simple message enrich happy relationships, but it has also saved thousands of marriages that were in serious trouble.
As a marriage counselor for the last thirty years, I have found that the most important insight I have gained is that all big problems first began as little problems that were not resolved. When little and easy-to-address problems are not solved, then inevitably they turn into big problems that seem to have no solution. By going back to address the little problems and by successfully addressing them, automatically the big and apparently unsolvable problems begin to disappear.
I truly believe that as men and women begin to understand and appreciate their innate differences, our dreams of lasting love can be realized. Divorce rates will go back down and couples will enjoy a lifetime of love. I believe it because I see it around me every day. I also trust that as men and women come together at home, this new harmony will be reflected in the world. Peace and a harmony between different nations finally becomes a possibility when we can first achieve this task at home.
The love you share today not only enriches you, your partner, and your children, but the world as well. I hope you enjoy reading this book and then share it with a friend. We have a lot to look forward to. May you continue to grow in love and light. Thank you for letting me make a difference in your life.