The most frequently expressed complaint women have about men is that men don’t listen.

The most frequently expressed complaint men have about women is that women are always trying to change them.

The Essential Mars Venus Test

When you take this test, be sure to go to a quiet place where you can answer the questions fairly and honestly. Both Martians and Venusians should take it; however, only you need to know how you scored.

(Martians usually hate tests so don’t expect him to share his answers.)

ARE YOU REALLY LISTENING TO HER?

Take this test to find out if you are a good listener. Score one point for each phrase (or similiar message) you say occasionally, two points for each phrase you say fairly often, and three points for habitual use.

1. “You shouldn’t worry so much.”
2. “But that is not what I said.”
3. “It’s not such a big deal.”
4. “OK, I’m sorry. Now can we just forget it.”
5. “Why don’t you just do it?”
6. “But we do talk.”
7. “You shouldn’t feel hurt.”
8. “So what are you trying to say?”
9. “But you shouldn’t feel that way.”
10. “How can you say that? Last week I spent the whole day with you. We had a great time.”
11. “That’s not what I meant.”
12. “All right. I’ll clean up the backyard. Does that make you happy?”

    

    When a man loves a woman he mistakenly thinks he’s helping her by becoming Mr. Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems. What she really wants is his empathy and understanding.

13. “I got it. This is what you should do.
14. “Look, there’s nothing we can do about it.”
15. “If you are going to complain, then don’t do it.”
16. “Why do you let people treat you that way?”
17. “If you’re not happy, then we should just get a divorce.”
18. “All right, then you can do it from now on.”
19. “I’ll handle it.”
20. “Of course I care about you. That’s ridiculous.”
21. “Would you get to the point?”
22. “All we have to do is…”
23. “That’s not at all what happened.”

Martian Test Results 

Are you REALLY listening to her?

 

Add up the points for your score.

 

0–10 points

Congratulations! You are a wonderful listener. You are supportive, trusting, and deserve a night out on the town from your Venusian.

 

10–21 points

Sometimes you don’t listen, but for the most part, you are an attentive partner.

 

Over 21 points

You are not a good listener. For the next week, practice listening whenever a woman speaks. Practice biting your tongue whenever you get the urge to offer a solution or change how she is feeling. You will be surprised when you experience how much she appreciates you.

ARE YOU STILL TRYING TO IMPROVE HIM?

Take this test to find out your level of acceptance. Score one point for each phrase (or similiar message) you say occasionally, two points for each phrase you say fairly often, and three points for habitual use.

1. “How can you think of buying that?
2. “Those dishes are still wet. They’ll dry with spots.”
3. “Your hair is getting kind of long, isn’t it?”
4. “There’s a parking spot over there. Turn the car around.”
5. “You want to spend time with your friends, what about me?”
6. “You shouldn’t work so hard. Take a day off.”
7. “Don’t put that there. It will get lost.”
8. “You should call a plumber. He’ll know what to do.”
9. “Why are we waiting for a table? Didn’t you make reservations?”
10. “You should spend more time with the kids. They miss you.”
11. “Your office is still a mess. How can you think in here? When are you going to clean it up?”
12. “You forgot to bring it home again.”
13. “You’re driving too fast. Slow down or you’ll get a ticket.”

    

    When a woman loves a man she sets up the Home Improvement Committee and focuses on him. What he really wants is her trust and acceptance.

14. “Next time we should read the movie reviews.”
15. “I didn’t know where you were. You should have called.”
16. “Somebody drank from the juice carton.”
17. “Don’t eat with your fingers. You’re setting a bad example.”
18. “Those potato chips are too greasy. They’re not good for your heart.”
19. “You are not leaving yourself enough time.”
20. “I can’t just drop everything and go to lunch with you.”
21. “Your shirt doesn’t match your pants.”
22. “Bill called for the third time. When are you going to call him back?”
23. “Your toolbox is such a mess. I can’t find anything. You should organize it.”

Venusian Test Results 

Are you still trying to improve him?

 

Add up the points for your score.

 

0–10 points

Congratulations! You have learned to accept your partner just the way he is. You deserve a special dinner from your Martian.

 

10–20 points

You still want to improve him, but for the most part, you are a supportive partner.

 

Over 21 points

Yes! You are still trying to improve him. For the next week, practice restraining from giving any unsolicited advice or criticism. The men in your life will not only appreciate it, but they will be more attentive and responsive to you.