U-Fit was stuffy and loud, but far less crowded than usual for a Wednesday afternoon. Eve was grateful, hoping Olivia would feel comfortable amongst a smaller mass of muscle heads rather than the larger mass that often accumulated and clogged the modest gym. These people were her friends, but even she could see how someone could be intimidated by all the sweating and groaning and grunting.
“Hi.”
Eve turned and found Olivia looking a little nervous with a white-knuckle grip on the gym bag slung over her shoulder.
“Hi.” Eve stepped over the weight bench and took her bag. “I would ask how you are, but you look a little…”
“Freaked out?”
“Freaked out, really?” Eve encouraged her to sit and she joined her, straddling the bench to face her. “Nervous is okay, but freaked out worries me. Can you tell me why?”
Olivia stared ahead seemingly off in the distance somewhere. Eve couldn’t help but admire her perfect profile, which was more accentuated with her hair back in a tight ponytail. She didn’t seem to notice Eve’s entrancement and she rubbed her palms on her thighs while her legs bounced with nerves. Tight black shorts hugged her curves, and a sleeveless peach colored T-shirt hung loosely off her upper body. Her running shoes appeared to be new, and she had on a Fitbit which Eve assumed was new as well. She looked like any other gym rat, but her nervousness set her apart, and a few of Eve’s friends eyed her curiously as they walked by.
“Olivia?” Eve said softly, touching her arm.
“Yes? Oh.” She smiled, but it seemed to fall flat. “Everyone is so ripped. I feel ridiculous.” She plucked at her T-shirt while looking at it with contempt. “I stick out like a sore thumb.”
“No, actually, you don’t.”
“It’s so obvious I don’t work out, though. I’m—”
“Olivia, stop. No one is thinking anything bad, I promise you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I know almost all of them and they are good people. And besides, they are body builders, they’re way too busy looking at themselves in the mirror to worry about you.”
Olivia laughed.
“So, try and relax, okay? We all have the same mission in mind. We want to better ourselves.”
Eve stood and patted her shoulder. “Now, let’s get you warmed up on the treadmill.”
Olivia followed her, and after ten minutes of brisk walking, Eve led her back into one of the smaller weight rooms, showed her how to stretch, and then gave her a pair of eight-pound dumbbells. She eased her into the proper stance, told her to watch herself in the mirror, and then had her begin arm curls.
“How does that feel?”
“Fine.” She was pumping her arms quickly. “Doesn’t really feel like I’m lifting anything, though.”
Eve grabbed a pair of ten-pound dumbbells and had her switch out.
“Try these.”
Olivia started again and did the same thing.
“Try to slow down a bit.”
Olivia did, but Eve could tell nothing had changed.
“You should be feeling the weight. It should be getting more difficult.”
Olivia finished a set of twelve.
“I’m not feeling anything.”
“Okay.” Eve knew Olivia looked strong, but now she was seeing firsthand just how strong she really was. She grabbed the twelve-pound weights and handed them over.
Olivia took them and started again.
“Better?” Eve asked.
Olivia nodded. “Yes. I can feel it some now.”
Thank God. She didn’t want to go any higher, not on the first damn day. She didn’t want her to be overly sore. She watched her closely and recalled that there had only been a few other women she’d worked with who’d had the strength to begin with a higher weight. One of them was herself.
Olivia finished three sets of twelve and only began to fatigue near the very end of the third set. She was, indeed, very strong.
Eve took the weights from her and Olivia massaged her biceps.
“Is it supposed to burn like that?”
“Yes.”
“Good to know I’m not a freak or anything.”
Eve laughed. “No, you’re just like everyone else, I’m afraid.” She had her sit on a bench and brought her the ten-pound weights again. She sat next to her and showed her how to rest her elbow on her inner thigh to do isolated bicep curls. Olivia began and Eve watched, curious to see if she was now too fatigued to continue with the twelve-pound dumbbells. She got her answer when Olivia once again lifted the ten-pound weights like they were nothing.
“I can kind of feel it,” Olivia said. “But not a lot.”
“Jesus,” Eve said aloud this time. She went back for the twelve-pounders and traded them out.
“Something wrong?” Olivia asked. She began to lift again as they talked.
“No, not at all. You’re just really strong. Especially for someone who has never lifted before.”
“Is that bad?”
“Why in the world would that be bad?”
“I don’t know. Women aren’t exactly supposed to be strong, I guess. It’s not feminine.”
“Where in the hell did you hear that?”
Olivia looked at her like she was crazy. “That’s what I’ve always been told. Women should be petite and dainty. You know, really feminine. I’ve always been too tall, too big, too muscular.”
“Is that why you hate your body so much? Because someone has filled your head with crap like that?”
She shrugged.
Eve watched her quietly as she finished with the isolated bicep curls. Again, she didn’t fatigue until the very end of the final set.
Eve took the weights and had her stand for hammer curls. This time she didn’t bother to go back down in weight.
“I now know what our biggest challenge is going to be with you,” Eve said. “It’s not going to be anything physical. It’s going to be the way you think. We’re going to have to reset your brain, so to speak.”
Olivia pumped through two sets and then finally began to struggle on the third. Eve stood in front of her and spotted her. She talked her all the way through with Olivia crying out on the last two curls. Eve quickly took the weights and then massaged her arms.
“Wow, was that hard,” Olivia said, laughing with what sounded like disbelief. “My arms are shaking.”
“It’s normal. Nothing to worry about.” She smiled at her and tried to ignore how soft her skin was and how her thick muscle was trembling beneath her fingers. But when their eyes locked and they both seemed to realize that they were touching, Eve quickly stopped and moved on.
“How do you feel?”
“Good. It’s weird though. I feel like I’m feeling my biceps for the first time ever. Like I just got them or something. Like they’re this new part that’s been installed in my body, never used before.”
“I’ve never quite heard it put like that before,” Eve said, amused.
“But I’m still normal, right?” She laughed and Eve was glad to see her enjoying herself.
“Yes. You are still very human, Olivia. You don’t get your freak card yet.”
Eve led them to a pulley machine, set the weight to the level she’d started at, and pulled down the hanging rope handle. The handle was split, like an upside-down V, one side for each hand with a wooden ball at the ends to keep the hands from slipping off.
“Now we’re going to do some tricep pulldowns,” Eve said. “Or some people call them tricep pushdowns, whichever you prefer. In case you’re a stickler for correct terms and such.”
Olivia laughed. “Yep, you got me.”
Eve demonstrated the exercise for her by getting in the proper stance. She reached up, gripped the two handles, and pulled down. When her arms were at a ninety-degree angle at her sides, she spoke to Olivia. “This is your starting position.” She then extended her arms down, until they were perpendicular to the floor, engaging her triceps. “Think you got it?
Olivia nodded and took Eve’s place.
“Okay, good.” Eve rested her hand on her lower back helping her with her stance. “Now lean your torso forward, just a bit more. Good. Leaning forward like this, instead of standing straight, engages all of your tricep, including the long head.”
“Sure. Okay. I’m obviously clueless.”
Olivia grabbed the rope handle and, as Eve had instructed, pulled downward to her starting position. Then she extended down.
“Good, now back up slowly to your starting position and then extend down again.”
Olivia continued.
“The tricep has three different bundles to it,” Eve explained. “The long head, medial head, and lateral head. Doing this exercise the old way, where you stand straight up, only works two of those. Whereas this position works all three.”
“I believe you, but I’m not feeing it. I think it needs to be heavier,” Olivia said.
“Do a few more for me.” Eve crossed her arms over her chest and watched in amazement. Olivia was breezing through the exercise quicker than she had the bicep curls. “Okay, hold up.” Eve adjusted the weight and backed away. “Try it now.”
Same thing. Olivia shook her head.
Eve couldn’t believe it. She adjusted the weight one last time. “Now you’re at the weight I use now for my workouts.”
“Seriously?”
“Yes. But rest assured, still no freak status reached.”
“You promise to let me know, right?”
“The second it happens.”
Olivia began again, and Eve could see her triceps come to life as she worked. Her form was close to perfect, and all Eve had to do was teach her how to breathe. She finished without the struggle she’d experienced at the end of her bicep sets.
Eve led her back to the free weights and picked up a twelve-pound dumbbell. She showed her how to position her fingers to hold the end of the dumbbell and lifted it back over her head. She then lowered it vertically, straight down between her shoulder blades and brought it straight up above her head until her arms were fully extended.
“Got it?”
“Yep.”
They switched positions and Olivia began.
“It feels a little light, too.”
“Your arms are shaking quite a bit, though. So, I’m worried about your stability. If we go heavier you might drop the dumbbell.”
“Okay.”
“Just continue what you’re doing. Nice and slow. Concentrate on your breathing and on the individual muscle you’re working.”
“I can feel it now. More than the last one. The whole back of my upper arm is burning.”
“Women love this exercise for that very reason. It’s great for firming up that area.”
“You mean I’m not the only one with flab?”
Eve rolled her eyes. “No.”
“That makes me feel better.”
“Whatever gets you there, I suppose. Although, I’ve got news for you, and this might devastate your well ingrained maudlin beliefs about yourself.”
Olivia finished her set and set the dumbbell in her lap to rest. She questioned Eve with her eyes.
“You’re not flabby.”
“Yeah, right, okay.” She held her arm out and squeezed while looking in the mirror.
“I don’t see any flab, Olivia. You just need to work your muscles a little, like we’re doing. Once those muscles grow and harden with strength, you’re going to be beyond tight. In fact, you’re probably going to be a bit etched.”
Again, she gave Eve a disbelieving look. “Okaay.”
Eve laughed. “We’ve got a long way to go on that head of yours.”
“Does that mean we’re going to be working together for a while, then?”
“In knowing what little of your mindset I do so far, I’d say yes.”
“Because I’m a head case. And stubborn.”
“Yes, I’m beginning to realize. The way you seem to ignore everything I’ve told you about your body, I’d say that stubbornness might surpass anyone I’ve ever worked with.”
“So, in a way, I am a freak.” She grinned.
Eve palmed her forehead. “Oh, my God.”
“What?”
“Will you stop? You’re not that different from everyone else. You’re just sensitive and intelligent. There’s nothing wrong with you. Not anything. And I seriously want to kick anyone’s ass who’s ever told you anything different.”
Eve could feel the heat in her face as she spoke. But she couldn’t help it. Olivia didn’t deserve to feel the way she did about herself. She was incredible, and the more Eve learned about her and the more time they spent together, that became more and more obvious.
“You’re upset.”
“I’m fine.” But she wasn’t and she knew she didn’t sound fine. “Go ahead and finish your sets.”
“I was kidding around. Trying to make things a little less tense, I guess. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Eve pushed out a breath, but she couldn’t look at her. “I know you’re not just kidding around, Olivia. Not totally. You do feel that badly about yourself. But you’re not why I’m upset. You didn’t make me feel this way. You make me feel—” she stopped herself and closed her eyes to get a grip. “Very far from upset. And please don’t ask me to explain further. Because I can’t and won’t say any more than that.”
Olivia turned and finished her sets quietly while Eve watched her form in the mirror.
She wished she could tell her exactly the way she made her feel.
But even if she could, she wasn’t sure there were enough known words in the universe that could explain something like that.
In the meantime, she’d try her best to show her by helping her any way she could.