Eve stood in the middle of the park, enjoying the feel of the midafternoon sun. She widened her stance and bent forward, placing her palms on the warm grass.
She stayed in that position, relishing the stretch and the heat from the sun. She exhaled long and slow and closed her eyes. This particular park was a new location for her. She’d chosen it because it was closer to Olivia’s home and she’d wanted to make things a little more convenient for her since she usually had to drive farther than Eve to their workout locations.
She opened her eyes and straightened to rest her hands on her thighs.
It was Monday and she’d left Olivia on Saturday morning, after making love to her nearly all night long. Once they’d connected with that first kiss, Eve had been hopeless. She just couldn’t have stopped. And leaving her on Saturday, while she slept like an angel, her beautifully nude body tangled in her sheets, had been more difficult than she’d expected.
Just thinking about her and their steamy encounter was getting her hot, which combined with the heat of the day, was suddenly too much to bear. She crossed to the shade of a nearby tree and sipped some water.
“Hi.” A hand pressed into Eve’s back and Olivia came to stand before her.
“Hi.” Eve was breathless though she had yet to exercise. The effect of Olivia’s presence was immediate, and it quickly progressed as Eve scanned her body and recalled how her curves had felt beneath her fingertips, with their gentle dips and smooth inclines. Even in a gray T-shirt with a maroon Sun Devil trident and dark mesh shorts, she was stunning.
Olivia looked like she was trying to read Eve’s thoughts, studying her closely, seemingly oblivious to her hair whipping across her face in the warm breeze. She must have finally deciphered her thoughts, because she glanced away like she was embarrassed.
Eve sensed that old familiar shyness was back.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I—”
“I know something’s bothering you.” She touched her arms. “Tell me, please.”
Olivia shrugged, with her arms extended, palms to the sky. “I don’t know, okay? I mean, I know I should be happy, but then I think about now and our professional relationship and what comes next and—”
Eve gently squeezed her arms.
“Everything is okay. Come sit and talk with me.” Eve led her to the base of the tree, and they sat with their backs against the large trunk. “What do you want to have happen next?”
Olivia squinted from the brightness of the sun, despite being in the shade. She drew her knees up and hugged them.
“I want to be with you. To spend more time together. And I want Friday night all over again.”
Eve felt her heart lift and she smiled, able to tell that the confession hadn’t been easy for her.
“You got me. What else?”
She seemed surprised at how quickly she’d accepted and concurred with her wishes, and she hesitated a little before she shared her next concern.
“Well, what about our workouts? I don’t want to stop, and I don’t want to work with anyone else.”
“I will no longer charge you and you will no longer be a client.”
“But—”
Eve held up a hand. “That doesn’t mean we can’t still work out together. I can still share with you all that I know. Things just won’t be as regimented.”
Olivia still didn’t return her smile. Something was still bothering her.
“Spill it,” Eve said. “It’s all over your face.”
“I’m just wondering how we’re going to get any work done when we feel like we do about each other.”
“Oh, I see. Well, that’s an issue that’s been on my mind too. How am I going to be able to control myself around Olivia? Hm. I’ve thought long and hard about it and, I gotta tell ya, I got nothing.”
“Nothing?”
“Nope. Nada.”
“Great.”
“Now that I’m here with you, though, I’ve come to the realization that we should probably work out somewhere where there are a lot of people around.”
“Like here,” Olivia said. “That makes sense.”
Eve grinned and picked at the grass. “Only, there aren’t any people here at the moment.”
Olivia grew quiet. Her cheeks tinged with color.
“People could come though at any moment,” Olivia said, obviously trying to keep the building desire between them carefully reigned. But even as she said the words, she was staring at Eve’s mouth like she was captivated.
Try as she might, Olivia couldn’t hide what she wanted.
Not from Eve.
“I’m not thinking about people coming. I’m thinking about you coming.”
The color in her cheeks deepened.
“I can’t see that hunger in you right now, Eve. It’ll make me want it again. It’ll make me want you again. God, I already do.” She rubbed her forehead.
Eve touched her chin and turned her face toward her own.
“What’s wrong with that?”
She looked at Eve like she’d lost her mind.
“We’re in a park. In the middle of a park!”
“There’s no one around,” she said. “Not anywhere. We’re at the far edge of a small neighborhood. No houses are facing us. The street in front of us leads to a dead end so no one probably uses it. And we’re under the dark shade of a tree. We won’t be easy to see.”
“Are you really trying to convince me to get it on with you in public?”
“We’re allowed to kiss, Olivia. To make out. Even pet a little. You know that, right?”
“I’m just not exactly in a good frame of mind. My mother called today. You don’t understand how she is.”
“You can try and tell me,” Eve said softly.
“She has this way of making me feel judged and ridiculed without having to say very much at all. She’ll ask me how I am and what I’ve been up to, and I’ll tell her, and instead of saying that’s great or whatever, she just sits there in silence. And if I try to get her to say something, she gets critical and lets me know, in no uncertain terms, that she disapproves.”
“And her disapproval bothers you.”
Olivia didn’t have to answer. Eve knew.
“I know she makes you feel like you’re still under her control, but you’re not. You’re a grown woman. A woman who’s not only kind and beautiful, but intelligent and insightful and caring. And if that alone doesn’t make her happy as a mother, well, I’m not sure anything ever will.”
“Thank you. That was—I’ve never heard anyone say something like that about me before.”
“No need to thank me. Just please believe it. And as for your mother and pleasing her, it’s probably a lost cause. And it’s not something you need to try to do.”
“I think I’m coming to realize that,” she said. “I tried to tell her about school and how I just finished for the semester and how excited I am and what I’ll be able to do with this degree. And, as usual, she got real quiet. Then she started up again about my divorce and how I was alone now, and I shouldn’t take such risks like student loans when I didn’t have a man to pay them off.”
“Really?” Eve touched her shoulder. “She’s that archaic in her thinking?”
“Oh, yes. A woman without a man, well, she’s doomed, isn’t she? My mother can’t imagine a woman in a worse position. And a woman who actually chooses to be in such a position? Well, she’s suspected to be something that usually isn’t even whispered about.”
“Yikes.”
Olivia laughed. “Now I’m that woman. I’ve chosen to be alone without a man. And I know what she must be thinking and fearing. She’s just not saying it aloud, probably too damn scared to do so. Afraid I might actually admit it.”
“If she ever did bring your love life up…what would you do?”
“I don’t know. A part of me is angry and resentful, but there’s also that part of me that’s still afraid.”
“You mean of being gay?”
“Actually, I’m not really afraid to accept that about myself so much now. The time spent with you and the way I’m feeling, and of course, there’s Friday night to consider. Don’t think that wasn’t a huge eye-opener. What I’m more afraid of is what my family will do if I declare I am. I’m afraid that they’ll cast me out. I hate that I feel this way, but being cast out by my parents is scary to think about even though they drive me crazy.”
“You love them. That’s understandable.”
“I love them even though I don’t agree with their beliefs and often times their behavior. So why can’t they love me the same? How can we love so differently?”
“I don’t know.” Eve touched her cheek, hurting for her and her obvious pain.
“I worry about my brother, Aaron, too. We’re pretty close, but I don’t know how he will feel about Molly knowing. Will he ask me to hide who I am or maybe bring her around less? Or not let me see her at all? If that happened, I’d be devastated. It would kill me. Without him and Molly I really would be alone in the world.”
“Oh, Olivia,” Eve said tenderly while delicately brushing away loose strands of hair from her face. “You’re not ever going to be alone.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do. You’re way too special. You will always have people wanting to be in your life. People who really care about you and love you for who you really are.”
“I wish I could believe you.”
“You’ll get there,” Eve said. “Things will eventually settle.”
They stared into one another, and Eve ran her thumb over her bottom lip and felt her quiver. The reaction, just as all her previous ones had done, turned Eve on, despite the sadness she’d just seen in her seconds before.
“Eve, we can’t,” Olivia said. But the adamancy to her words had vanished.
“Oh, yes, love, we can. Just a little.”
“I don’t feel like what we’re doing is wrong. I don’t. Nothing with you ever feels wrong. But other people…”
“I know.”
What she’d just told her about her mother and her parents in general, made it evident that she had a ways yet to go as far as freeing herself from caring about what people thought.
“But I’m here with you and I’m not afraid. I think that’s one of the reasons you’re drawn to me. The fact that I’m not afraid and I don’t care what people think.”
“You take risks I would never dream of taking. I don’t know how you do it. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Look how far you’ve come already.”
“Being intimate with you doesn’t count.”
“It doesn’t?”
“No. Because you’re too persuasive and you know exactly what you’re doing when you’re touching me. And the way you look at me and the things you say. It isn’t fair. Isn’t fair at all. I don’t stand a chance. I don’t think I ever did.”
“You shouldn’t have told me any of that,” Eve said, drawing closer. “Now I know that you can’t tell me no. Oh, the power. Just think of all the things I can do with that.”
“Yes, but not now. Not here.” But her voice was weak and she visibly swallowed. “Eve, we can’t.”
“I’m not asking you to jump out of a plane with me, Olivia. I’m just asking for a kiss. Just a little kiss.” Eve inched closer and held her face. She felt the burn of her skin. When Olivia didn’t protest any further, she dipped in and kissed her. Olivia made a noise, but she remained still, her lips pressed together, unresponsive.
Eve backed away, the smell and feel of her skin quickly arousing her, despite her lack of a reaction. But she wanted Olivia to want it too. But she was just too nervous.
She looked serene, with her eyes still closed from the kiss, as if lost in her own wonderful world. Even though Eve wanted her more than she could ever express, she put her feelings above her own, something she didn’t often do when it came to those she dated.
She knew it meant that she cared about her. More than she’d even been aware of. But the revelation didn’t hit her as hard as she’d expected something like that to. But rather, it settled over her, like a warm blanket on a chilly evening. It was almost comforting, and it felt…right.
Olivia was doing more than moving her beyond what she thought even possible.
She was changing who she was.
And Eve didn’t seem to mind.