The inklings of this project began with a preface I wrote for Double Lives, a literary anthology about motherhood and the writing life. I’d like to thank Shannon Cowan,Fiona Lam and Cathy Stonehouse for inviting me to contribute. The piece I wrote for them became a scene in this book and got me thinking about our relationship as parents to our grown-up children.
However, it was my editor, Patrick Crean,who came to me with the idea, and I am grateful for his faith in the project. I’m sure we both thought it would be a simple undertaking. But becoming an embedded reporter in one’s own family has its disorienting moments. I counted on Patrick’s support, good judgement and encouragement at every step along the way.
The chapter “That’s That”has been adapted from the story “Just Cremation,”which appeared in the anthology The Heart Does Break, published by Random House. Part of the chapter entitled “The Broken Year” first appeared in an essay for Zoomer magazine. My sincere thanks to editors Jean Baird and Kim Izzo for their guidance.
I did my best to be home-free while I worked on this book, by moving from nest to nest. I am grateful to Katherine Ashenberg, Anne Nicholson and Arne Moore, John Barrington and Tina Van-derheyden, and the Queen St. Dark Horse café for providing writing refuges.
The chapter “Vertical Travel” is based on conversations with my godson, Gabriel Czarnecki, who generously shared his knowledge and ideas about rite of passage ceremonies. Mark Czarnecki helped me sort out the sixties. Thanks to Christy Mackintosh for her Tunnel Mountain research.
My friend and colleague Nora Underwood turned the copyediting process into a pleasurable dialogue, and I am grateful for her deft editorial insights as well. My appreciation to Wendy Thomas at Thomas Allen Publishers for grace under pressure, and to my agent, Samantha Haywood, for her early endorsement. To Jill Frayne for always checking in. For manuscript reads I’m indebted to Ian Pearson,Brian Johnson,Casey Johnson,Christopher Keil and Barbara Gowdy. From the first outline-on-a-napkin to the final draft,Mike Kearns provided counsel. Many thanks to my comrades who escorted me through the title ordeal, in particular to Anne Mackenzie. Janet Burke provided perspective and ER support, as always.
At this point, authors normally acknowledge their loved ones, without whom the book would not be possible, etc. In my case, this has never been truer. Let me thank my beloved narrative elements, Brian and Casey, from the bottom of my heart. I am lucky to have two big-spirited men in my life, and I owe everything to their creativity, honesty and generosity.