Lady Victoria to Lady Margaret

London, 28 July 1865

Margaret,

I write to you at our mother’s behest. The duchess wishes to inform you that your attendance at our brother Henry’s wedding at the beginning of next month will not be required. Following this event, our parents will be enjoying the shooting season with friends, and will not be visiting Dalkeith Palace. They will then spend the remainder of the parliamentary recess, including Christmas, at Drumlanrig or perhaps Boughton or Bowhill. You are to remain at Dalkeith unless the duke decrees otherwise, while our younger sister, Mary, will remain at Drumlanrig under the care of her governess.

Margaret, I beg you to consider the impact of your indefensible actions. Our father remains furious with you, and will not countenance your name being spoken. His Grace’s humiliation was witnessed not only by almost every serving peer but by all of his cronies from the Roxburghe Club. As you know, of his many public positions, it is of his presidency of this club that he is most proud. The duke blames our mother for failing to control your actions, though this seems to me unjustified, for I know from personal experience just how wilful you can be. The duchess is greatly affected by his condemnation and has kept the loss of her bracelet from him to protect herself from further criticism. Thus, Margaret, on top of everything else, you have also damaged the good relations between our parents.

Personally, I fail to understand how you can have behaved with such an utter lack of decorum. You cannot be ignorant of the conventions and rules which govern good society, and yet you seem to have decided wilfully to break every one. Were even a small portion of the truth known, there is a real risk that the queen would ostracize us from court. That eventuality does not bear considering. It is a matter of small solace to all of us that the birth of their second child prevented the Prince and Princess of Wales from attending the ball that ill-fated night.

As to how matters stand with Killin, Mama has most graciously granted you permission to write him a conciliatory letter. I trust that you will make the most of this extremely generous concession, for it seems to me that his lordship’s steady nature would be an excellent ballast to your own impetuous and capricious temperament. Look to the excellent example my own marriage provides, and have faith in our parents’ stewardship. When the match with Kerr was first mooted, I confess to having had some reservations as to our suitability, but Mama assured me that affection and esteem would develop after the ceremony. With a determined effort on my part, Mama has been proved quite correct. It is with great delight that I confide in you, Sister, that I am expecting a most wonderful event in the early spring.

I expect no reply to this missive. Mama asks me to inform that she has read none of your letters, so there is no point penning more.

Your sister,

Victoria Kerr