CHAPTER 16
Don’t Let Me Be Misunderstood—Sienna
I wrapped my arms around Chris. He continued to smoke, facing the breathtaking Atlanta skyline at dawn from the balcony of his thirty-sixth-floor condo.
“Sienna,” he said on a sigh, his bare chest heaving with the action.
“Can’t sleep?” I whispered, an attempt not to wake the neighbors or disrupt nature’s soft chirps and buzzing. I nuzzled my cheek against his firm back.
I’d been sleeping until I rolled over and felt the cool sheets under my fingertips. Only a few months together, and I couldn’t sleep without his strong arms wrapped around my middle.
“My mind is busy.”
“What’s up? Maybe I can help.”
He drew in another puff. “Just thinking through your last debate with Keith next week. I want to make sure you drive our message home before ballots are cast.”
“Hey.” I stepped back and gently tugged his shoulder.
He turned, a lit cigarette between his thumb and forefinger.
I grabbed the cancer stick and broke it, as was my usual pattern. Chris was accustomed to it, but usually, he put up more of a fight.
“Gonna quit this someday.”
“What?” I jerked my attention to his eyes.
“Not today, but I’ll try. For you.” The honesty in his blue eyes jump-started my heart.
I knew breaking the habit wasn’t a walk in the park, but he wanted to try. For me.
“I’d like that.” I smiled. “Not because I’m trying to control you but because I lov—I mean, like you. A lot. A whole lot.” I spread my hands wide.
“You like me, huh?”
“Yes. I definitely like you,” I agreed, nodding.
“I like you, too.” He smiled, his eyes teasing and glinting in the soft light.
“The debate.” I quickly changed the subject, not at all ready to go there with Chris. I’d decided to take this relationship, whatever this was, turtle-crossing-the-road slow. “We’ve gone over the talking points, I’ve been out in the community, we’ve raised the money, and I’m ready. I won’t let you down.” I shook my head. “Not like last time. No more lovers’ spats.”
“I should hope not.” He leaned against the rail, taking me in. “Besides, he’s no longer your lover. That would be me.” He pointed to his chest.
I lifted my head. “Right. Speaking of lover . . .” I stepped closer, crowding his space. “Come to bed. I’ll put your mind at ease.”
He lifted me, cupping my ass. “I more than like you,” he whispered against my lips. I shivered, wrapping my arms and legs tighter.
“How much?” I dared him to say more.
“Let’s go to bed. I can show you how much in there.”
He walked us back inside the condo and showed me just how much.
* * *
“I’d like to order a poppy seed bagel, please.” I smiled at the young woman behind the counter. “Oh, and a medium coffee, no sugar or cream.”
After I got my order, I settled at the two-seater table in the back, then sipped my coffee, I smiled, staring aimlessly out of the window. I needed peace, away from Chris’s nervous energy and the nosy but well-meaning questions from my coworkers and friends. Surprisingly, the small café that I’d frequented over the years had always given me calm. I was so close to achieving my goal I could taste it. Sure, I had a battle ahead, but I was so ready to fight for what I wanted.
My phone pinged, signaling an email. I was tempted to disconnect, but with weeks until the election, I needed to stay on top of communication.
I opened the email, though I didn’t recognize the name or the email address.
I scanned the email and gasped. “Holy. Shit.”
Keith had been a bad boy, a very bad boy. I leaned back, stunned. Stunned and thinking what I should do.
I needed to tell Chris, stat. This email changed everything. I slung my purse on my shoulder and hustled out of the coffee shop. The bad girl in me rubbed her hands together. The debate was just two weeks away, and this would make a splash. I finally had the bastard by the nuts.
I tossed the printed documents in front of Chris.
“What is this?” He smiled up at me from his desk.
“Just read it.”
He crooked his finger. I leaned down, knowing he wanted a kiss. After a quick smooch, he grabbed the pages and moved them to the corner of his desk. “All right.”
I backed away. “Can you read it now?”
“Right now?”
I nodded. “Yes! Right now.” I snickered. “You won’t believe it.” I settled into the seat in front of his desk.
Chris chuckled. “Fine, sunshine.” He reached for the papers, a bemused smile on his face. After reading the first page, he frowned, flipped through the others. After a few minutes, he was done.
“Damn.” He rubbed his face. “He’s trying to force a county vendor to contribute to his reelection?”
“Apparently, he’s trying to blackmail him. He wants two hundred thousand dollars.”
Chris whistled. “So I see. He really is an asshole.”
“He’s a liar and a cheater and, good grief, I can’t believe I loved him. I was going to marry that crook.”
“Yeah, you dodged a bullet on that one.” He shook his head, eyes still on the papers.
“Right!” I jumped from my seat. “And how stupid does he have to be to send threats via text and email?”
“He’s not stupid. He just feels powerful, invincible.” He sighed. “I noticed it only after a few months of campaigning. It’s like he enjoys playing with fire. Women, money, power—it’s all a rush for him.” He looked up. “Do you have any idea who sent this to you?”
“No. The email and name are anonymous.”
Chris nodded. “How do you plan on using this information?”
“I’m not going to bring it up during the debate, of course!”
Chris sighed. “That’s a relief. I don’t want another crazy debate with you two.”
“I wouldn’t do that to you. I’ll be discreet. I can have someone reach out to a paper and plant the bug in their ear.”
“What?” His voice was sharp.
“I . . .” I sat back down, licking my lips. “You don’t think it’s a good idea? This could ruin him, change the tide, and I’ll be a sure win. According to the latest polls, we’re pretty close.”
“You’re still ahead and on your way to win, Sienna. You don’t need this.” He tossed the documents back on the desk. A few loose papers fell on the floor. “I can’t believe this.”
“Believe what?”
“Believe that you would stoop so low to win.”
“I’m not stooping low.” I pointed at the pages on the floor. “Stooping low is when Keith threatened to leak news about that man if he wouldn’t contribute to his campaign. I’m simply passing along the info to the right people. I don’t see how that’s so bad,” I said, my voice defensive. I couldn’t believe Chris was acting so uncool about this. He was a campaign manager, for goodness sake. Surely, he could see how this could work in our favor.
“You don’t see what’s so bad, that’s what the issue is.” He pulled his dreads back from his neck. “A year ago, you wouldn’t have even considered this.”
“A year ago, I was a fool.”
“Not a fool. Sweet, kind—”
“Weak.”
“No, strong.”
“I am not that girl anymore.”
“You’re my sunshine.”
“No, I’m not anyone’s sunshine. I’m just me. A woman who gave her heart to the wrong man. A woman who was dumb enough to turn down a well-into-six-figure job to be a freakin’ public defender. A woman who used to let people take advantage.”
“I disagree. You’re just lost.”
“Then I like being lost.” This time I crossed my arms, mirroring his stance. “And maybe I don’t want to be found again.” I stood. “Look, I’ve gotta go.”
“Are you going to leak this?”
I shrugged. “Maybe I will, maybe I won’t. It’s a solid strategic move, and God knows who else he’s been threatening. We could be helping people with this info.”
“Is that your primary objective? To help people?”
“I’m helping myself right now, and considering the time and effort I gave to Keith, I’m feeling pretty damn good about it.”
His nostrils flared. He clenched his jaw and hardened his eyes. “Don’t go down this path, Sienna. When you adopt a shark mentality, everything that once seemed black and white, and right and wrong, gets mixed together in shades of gray.”
“I’ve got to go.”
“Promise me you’ll think about what I said.”
“Fine.”
“And that you’ll give me the courtesy of a call before you do anything.”
“Yes, Chris. You’re my campaign manager, I haven’t all of a sudden lost my sense of professionalism,” I said between gritted teeth and pivoted toward the door.
“No, just your moral compass.”
* * *
The debate was tonight, and although I was prepared, I was still at work. I’d planned to take a half day, relax, and review the talking points in my head, practice controlling my gestures in the mirror.
I’d called Chris a few days ago. He asked if I made a decision, I said no. He said he didn’t want to be associated with my campaign until he knew for certain I wouldn’t leak the information.
I told him Bye, Felicia and promptly hung up the phone.
My phone rang at the desk. Rubbing my tired eyes from the hours of discovery I’d been reviewing, I picked up the phone. “Sienna Njeri.”
“Girl, you are inspired.”
I instantly recognized the voice, my reporter friend from high school. “Hannah Montana,” I said. Though her name was Hannah Corver, she was a dead ringer for Miley Cyrus’s famous Disney character. “As much as I enjoy random compliments, I have no idea what you are talking about.”
“I just read the exposé on Keith. I’m guessing you slipped the info to Chuck Archer?”
“No . . . that . . . that wasn’t me.”
“It wasn’t?”
“No.”
“You sure?” Hannah’s voice was suspicious, the cadence of her question slow and exaggerated.
“I wouldn’t lie, Hannah.” I clicked on my computer and searched for Keith and the reporter’s name.
City Councilman Keith Davenport threatens county worker for campaign funding.
“Oh. My. God.” I smiled. “I wonder who leaked this.”
“I dunno. But I’m not surprised that Keith has enemies.”
“Well, it wasn’t me,” I said again.
“I believe you. You would’ve admitted it by now. I’m surprised you didn’t see this earlier.”
“When was it published?” I looked at the time of the article to answer my own question. Seven a.m.
“It was in the papers this morning, and they released it on their blog at the same time. Crazy, huh?”
“Very.” I shook my head.
“Well, looks like the election is yours. You should celebrate.”
“I’ll think of something,” I airily replied. “Anyway, I’ve got to wrap up this case, switch gears, and then prepare for this debate.”
Hannah snorted. “If the snake shows up. If I were him, I’d gracefully bow out.”
“Right. But Keith is a special kind of evil. Never say die.”
“We’ll see,” Hannah said, but her voice reflected doubt. “Let’s connect soon. Maybe after the election, once things settle?”
“Sounds wonderful.”
Someone knocked on my door. A tall, skinny man in khaki pants and a polo shirt waved from outside the glass door. I motioned him to come inside.
I spotted a small white box in his hand.
“Delivery,” he said unnecessarily.
“I’ll let you go,” Hannah said in my ear. “Bye.”
“Can you sign, please?”
I glanced at his shirt. He worked for a local courier service. “Sure.”
“Thanks.” He placed the box on my desk. “Have a good one.”
“You too,” I said to his back. Curiosity piqued, I lifted the lid. Inside was a broken cigarette on top of a folded piece of paper. A letter maybe?
Unfolding the paper, I recognized Chris’s handwriting, and under the paper the clipping of Keith’s article.
My heart tripled. No. He can’t believe I did this. I told him I would give him a heads-up.
You’re wrong. People do change. I can no longer work on this campaign, though. You don’t need my help. Congratulations and best of luck.
—Chris
“Congratulations? Best of luck?” Red-hot lava surged through my veins. “Oh, heck no!” I tossed the broken cigarette back into the box and then shut down my computer. “He doesn’t get to break up all symbolic-like while I’m at work,” I muttered to myself.
After grabbing my personal belongings, I hurried out of the office building, dashed across the street to the parking lot. I dialed Chris while my heels clacked across the paved lot.
“Hey, you,” I whispered breathlessly into the receiver. “Got your care package. Just wanted you to know that it wasn’t me. I did not leak that stuff about Keith. Now, I can’t say that I’m not happy and I wasn’t tempted, but still . . .” I took a deep sigh. The phone beeped and the connection died. No matter. After twisting the ignition, I sped through the bumpy parking lot, straight to Chris’s condo.
I jogged up the stairs as fast as I could in my four-inch heels, took the elevator, and then banged on the door like the police doing a drug raid. “Open up, Christopher!” I knocked again. “I know you’re in there. Open up.”
Chris swung open the door. “I do have neighbors.” He didn’t step back to let me in but instead, leaned against the doorjamb. “What is it that you want, Sienna?”
“What happened to ‘sunshine’?”
He crossed his arms over his chest.
“I didn’t do it!” I blurted. “I didn’t set Keith up.”
“Look, I know that you and Keith have history, but I’m not interested in being in the middle of your war. I chose to work with you because I thought you cared about the people.”
“I do.”
He shrugged. “Then why are you at war with him? Is your revenge that important?”
“It’s not about revenge!”
“Did you or did you not say that you wanted to drag him through the dirt? That you wanted him to hurt like he hurt you?”
“Okay, so maybe it started off that way. But I’ve always wanted to run for public office. I’ve always wanted to serve.”
“You expect me to believe that just this weekend, you gave me the very same information that someone else leaked to the papers?”
“Yes. And I expect you to believe it because you know my character. If I told you I didn’t do it, then I didn’t.”
“It had the same details in the article, Sienna.”
“And I am maintaining my innocence!” Heat spread through my cheeks and traveled down to my toes. I took a deep breath to calm myself. “Look. I’m not going to argue with you in the breezeway. Why don’t I come inside and we can discuss this?”
Chris shook his head and shuffled from side to side. “No. Now is not a good idea.”
“Why?”
He jerked his head back toward the door and then turned back to face me. “It just isn’t a good time.”
“Chris! I’m starving! Feed me,” I heard a whiny voice call from inside.
“Really?” I took two steps back.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
He reached for my arms, but I stumbled away.
“Sienna, I have my—”
“You have a side chick, mistress? Or am I your side chick?”
His head jerked back as if he’d been slapped. “I would never do that to you. You know that.”
“But I guess we’re broken up. You sent me that stupid cigarette and everything, so technically, you didn’t cheat. Unless you were two-timing us both.”
“Even if that’s the case—”
“Chris! C’mon!” the whiny female demanded again, her voice coming closer. The woman popped out her head. She was gorgeous. Smooth brown skin and curly short hair that accentuated her elfin features. “Oh, h-hello? Didn’t realize you had company, Chris.” Her eyes held a glint of mischief.
“Goodbye, Christopher.” I stumbled down the stairs. My heart squeezed so tight I thought I was having a heart attack. I wanted to stop, bend over, and let the pain wash through me. Chris’s betrayal reopened feelings I’d pushed dormant.
But like a sleeping volcano, they had awakened, spewing flames, hot lava, and cinders.
“No more,” I promised myself. I jumped into the car and sped away. A ping from my phone snatched my attention. I glanced down at my phone.
Keith Davenport Drops from the City Councilman Race.
I shook my head and tossed the phone into my purse. I’d won by default, but I knew in my heart I would’ve won fair and square. I should be happy, ecstatic even. But my victory had been spoiled by Chris’s betrayal. No matter. I would dedicate my life to the constituents, to making my city better. And I would never, ever open my heart up again.
* * *
I played with my plate of spiced rice, tomatoes, and lettuce, minus the stewed meat that the rest of my family had eaten. Mama and Baba, as well as my sister Farah and my brothers Joshua and Edwin, were seated around the large oak dinner table. The rest of my siblings were out of town or lived elsewhere. Otherwise, when Mama mandated dinner with family, everyone scrambled to attend.
“Sienna, stop picking at your food and eat,” Mama admonished from across the table.
My sisters and brothers snickered. Instead of responding to their juvenile behavior with my usual response of sticking out my tongue, something we’d all done as kids and continued as adults, I shoveled down the rest of my food.
I felt like such a fool. After Keith, I’d vowed to never get myself worked up over a man. Now here I was, depressed as all get-out because Chris had proved the age-old truth that men couldn’t remain faithful.
Now he had the audacity to blow up my phone. I didn’t need an explanation, I just needed him to leave me alone.
Dinner ended, and I began my chores of washing dishes and clearing the table along with my brothers and sisters.
“Sienna.” Baba tapped my shoulder. “When you’re done with the kitchen, meet me in my study.”
After I finished with the dishes, I headed to Baba’s study. It smelled of worn leather and lemon oils. Ten years ago, it smelled of leather and tobacco. After my campaign for his lungs, he finally quit his bad habit of smoking.
“Sit, binti.” He gestured at the maroon chaise that reminded me of something that would be in a therapist’s office. “What troubles you, daughter?”
“I—” I sighed, not quite sure how I wanted to play this. Did I really want to go crying to my dad about a man?
“Tell me it isn’t that spineless rat, Keith.”
I laughed, despite my melancholy. Baba had come up with the nickname when he’d heard Keith give a speech at our home church. Keith had gone on and on about his Christian upbringing, which both Baba and I had known to be false. Later that day, Baba told me to watch out for him.
Baba didn’t know about Keith’s philandering, but I suspected he had a hunch.
“No, Baba. It’s Christopher.” He was the real rat. Building me up, telling me he more than liked me, and as soon as the first storm of our relationship hit, he ran away into the arms of another woman.
“Ah. Now that’s a man’s man.”
I grunted. “Does a man’s man accuse you of leaking a story about your ex, break up with you via a dramatic symbolic broken cigarette, then the very same day have another woman in his home?”
Baba’s coffee brown eyes widened. “No.”
“Sadly, yes.” I nodded.
“Did you give him a chance to explain? What did he say?”
“I drove to his house to confront him. Saw that . . . that woman myself.”
“So he admitted that he’d moved on?”
“No.” I shook my head. “He said that ‘it’s not what it looks like.’ Just like Keith did before. Just like a man.” I groaned. “Why do guys think we’re so stupid?”
A weird look flitted across Baba’s face. He wanted to say something but decided against it. “What did the woman say?”
“Nothing much. Just that she didn’t realize someone was here. She didn’t look particularly bothered. Just inquisitive.” Her eyes had danced and she seemed overly interested and giddy, like I was some sort of alien species she observed under a microscope.
“Not every man is Keith, my daughter. Everyone deserves a second chance.”
“I’m not giving another cheating man a second chance.”
“And I agree. But you don’t really know if he has cheated.” Baba stroked his salt-and-pepper goatee. “I’m shocked he hasn’t tried harder.”
“Oh, he has.” I’d blocked his phone number and email. I told Baba how he’d tried to bum rush me at work. Thankfully the public defender’s office had security, and I’d asked them not to let him back to my office. My apartment was gated with a security guard. After he smashed my heart to smithereens, I quickly took him off my guest list.
Baba nodded, looking not at all impressed. “Oh, my daughter. Has this man hurt you so much that you are afraid of living?”
“Chris hurt me, but I’m—”
“Not Chris. Keith, the rat. I sat back while you hardened your shell. I was so happy you redirected that fierce energy you had for others to yourself. But now, daughter, you trust no one. You just sat here and told me, your father, that men are no good. I was the first man to love you. Have I not shown you what love and trust from a man means? Have I not treated your mother with love and respect?”
“You have, Baba. I’m sorry I’ve disrespected you.”
He shook his head. “This isn’t about my pride, this is about maintaining your conviction.”
“For me?”
“For humanity. As much as people like to pretend, especially men, you can’t compartmentalize your feelings. It spreads everywhere. Don’t let Keith or Chris or any man change who you are.”
“And who am I, Baba?”
Baba smiled. “Who you’ve always been. You’re just a little lost.”
Lost. Chris had said the same thing to me. Was I lost? Or was I just evolving? Was it so bad being the new Sienna?
“I see you have a lot to think about, so I’ll let you be. I do have one request.”
After I hurt my father with my thoughtless words, I was willing to donate my kidney to spare his disappointment in me.
“Anything.”
“Talk to Chris and Keith. Resolve your hurts and fears. Then let it go in whatever form that means. Promise me you’ll do this.”
I didn’t need to hear their tired excuses. I didn’t want to see them, to unlock all the unwanted and ugly feelings I’d barricaded within me, but I couldn’t deny my father’s request.
“Okay, Baba. For you, I will.”