“JENNY . . . JENNY!”
She heard her name. She felt the hand on her shoulder, tossing her awake. Her eyes fluttered open. Above her were dark mahogany beams. She stared at one of the knots. As she focused on the perfect imperfection, she found clarity and shot up into a sitting position. Her head was pounding.
Jenny was on the leather couch in his living room with a blanket over her. Mr. Renkin sat on the coffee table next to her, his hand retreating from her shoulder.
“Are you OK?” he asked as if he had just found her there.
She was anything but OK. She nodded anyway.
“You need to go now,” he said, reaching his hand out to help her up. She took it, not wanting to. “It’s OK.”
Had she been dreaming? Because he seemed completely unaware of the horrible things he had just done to her. Did he hope maybe she didn’t remember?
“C’mon,” he said. “Hurry up.”
In a fog, Jenny walked to the door. He opened it for her and she stepped through.
“Don’t come back here. It’s not appropriate,” he said.
Jenny nodded and he shut the door in her face. Her throat was closing and she couldn’t speak. She found her footing as she climbed off the porch; then she started running as fast as she could. She made it to the end of the driveway before stopping, keeling over, and sucking for breath. It wasn’t coming.
A car coming up the hill announced itself with the rev of its engine around the bend where the incline built. Jenny pulled herself together and jumped over the ditch, scrambling up the small bank into the edge of the woods. She ducked behind the first tree as the navy Accord drove past and pulled into Mr. Renkin’s driveway.
No, Ms. Willoughby, Jenny thought. Stay away from him. She could do so much better. She needed a Mallory in her life to point out his inadequacy and find her someone worthier.
Jenny slid back down the bank into the ditch. She had no idea what time it was. The sun had nearly set. How long had she been out? Whatever it was, it was too late. She couldn’t face her mother now. Wasn’t one assault enough? Jenny was playing dangerous games. Why couldn’t she stop?
JENNY BURST THROUGH the front door of JP’s house. He came out of his room to investigate the noise and she met him in the hallway, throwing her arms around him. She didn’t care what he thought. She needed comfort. Before he could push her away, or call her a baby, she reached up and kissed him. She expected him to pull away, but he didn’t. He stayed still, their lips stuck together.
Jenny guided his mouth open. She wanted more. She hated that he thought she was too inexperienced to be kissed for real. He followed her lead and then took charge. It was new, it was scary, and it washed away her pain. She completely lost control. The euphoria turned to nerves, and she pushed against his chest until their mouths were apart. She stepped back while JP held his ground, grinning at her like he was in on a secret she wanted no one to know.
“You aren’t my boyfriend, you know?” Jenny said, trying her best to regain control.
“OK.”
“I just wanted to, that’s all. It’s not a big deal.” Jenny was talking too much, but she didn’t know how to stop herself. “I’m sure you’ve done this a thousand times and I don’t care.”
JP moved toward her and put both hands on her shoulders to calm her down. “It’s cool,” he said. “It’s very cool.”
Jenny smiled. It might have been the nicest thing he’d ever said to her.
JP BROUGHT BLANKETS and pillows from his room and added them to a pile of couch cushions on the floor while Jenny did her best to turn them into a bed.
“Are you sure you want to stay?” JP asked. “What if your mom calls the cops?”
“She won’t.” Linda was probably drunk and wouldn’t risk having the cops involved. “Will you sleep out here with me?” Jenny watched his reaction. He fidgeted, delaying a response. “Just in case Boomer comes home,” she clarified.
“Yeah, whatever.”
The makeshift bed was wide enough to allow two inches of space between them, but the electricity coming off their bodies seemed to fill the tiny void as if they were touching. Jenny felt the safest she had in a while.
“JP . . .” she said into the silence.
“Yeah?”
“I think we should leave soon. I don’t want to argue about it or just talk like it’s a fantasy. I want to make a real plan.” She stared at the ceiling thinking about Mr. Renkin, her mother, Gil. “I don’t feel safe here.”
“OK,” he said without a fight.
She smiled, glad they were both staring at the ceiling and he couldn’t see her. “When’s the last time you talked to your cousin?” she asked.
“Couple months ago. He’s working for a fisherman. He guts fish for him or something. Gets paid in cash and fish. Do you like fish?”
“Yeah.” Jenny hated fish, but it seemed important to him. She could grow to like it. “Is that what we would do? Gut fish?”
“That’s what I would do, but maybe we can get you a different job if you don’t like it. It will just be for a few years anyway.”
“For you. What happens when you turn eighteen, but I’m only sixteen? Are you going to leave me?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to lie to you. I don’t want to trick you into coming. Two years is a long time. A lot can change.”
Jenny’s heart sank.
“And maybe it would be better for us if I came back and joined the military as soon as possible. That way I’d be done with basic training and be more settled for you when you came back.”
Talk of their future together was intoxicating. She couldn’t turn back now even if she wanted to. They lay silent for a moment under the pretext of thinking, but Jenny was ecstatic.
“The problem is the money,” JP said, snapping her back to reality. “We’ll need a couple thousand each to get there, get set up with a little place. We can’t stay with my cousin. He already lives with a bunch of guys and there isn’t room.”
Jenny sighed audibly, and JP turned his face toward her for the first time since they’d lain down. “What?” he asked.
She wasn’t sure if she should tell him, share what had happened with her attempts to get the money. Mr. Renkin wasn’t an option. He had the notes and wasn’t afraid to hurt her to keep his secret safe. Gil was still in play. “I have a way to get the money, but it’s awful and I don’t want to do it.”
“What is it?”
Jenny turned her face toward him, biting her bottom lip, nervous to speak. He met her look with encouraging eyes.
“There’s a man who wants to pay me to have sex with him. Because I’m a virgin and he knows me from the pageants.” She felt ashamed even saying it. Gil was the pervert, but the offer alone had tainted her, stolen her innocence.
“No way,” JP said without hesitation.
“He’ll give me five thousand dollars.”
“He could give you an island, it’s not happening.”
Jenny smiled at the boy. He smiled back for a beat, then composed himself and rolled onto his back. “We’ll find the money a different way.”
“How?” Jenny demanded, unhappy he had turned away.
“I don’t know.”
“That isn’t a plan, JP. That’s just fantasizing.”
“What do you want me to do? Rob a bank?”
Jenny didn’t respond to his sarcasm. Why could he only show his soft side for fifteen seconds at a time before turning back into a tough guy? It was so frustrating. If he wanted to be such a tough guy, it was about time he proved it. “What if there was a way to get the money without having sex with him?”
“I’m listening,” he said.
“What if I agree to it, have him come here, and then we rob him? He’s not a big guy. You can use your knives and surprise him. Actually, my dad has a gun that I can get. We’ll take the money and leave that night.”
They both stared at the ceiling again, searching for holes in the plan, neither coming up with anything worth vocalizing. The longer the silence lasted, the more of a reality it became.