I ALWAYS HEAR people talk about finding their “life purpose” or stressing to find meaning in their lives. Some of us are lucky enough to know from day 1 what we want to do in life, where we want to go, and how we want to help others. But if that’s not the case for you, I’m here to tell you that it’s okay.
I didn’t find my purpose until my mid-twenties, after a slew of bad decisions and detours, although there were clues to my athleticism along the way—such as when I was a cheerleader and a baseball player as a kid. These clues were illuminated for only moments, similar to a flash going off in a dark room. If you had told me back then that I’d be making my living today as an athlete and entrepreneur, I would have never believed you. I would have laughed you right out of the room. Now, fifteen years later, I’m doing just that. As with me, even in the early days of your life, although likely unrecognized by you then, you had a direction. You just need to find it.
So . . . what do you do if you haven’t found your life purpose yet? It’s actually quite simple. Here are some tips to help you.
FIND PASSIONATE PURSUITS. Seek to discover anything that makes you feel alive, passionate, and connected to something bigger than yourself. I’m talking about whatever excites you so much that you want to keep pursuing it. These things are what give purpose and meaning to your life. Learn to recognize what ignites these positive feelings in you and embrace it!
LOOK BACK TO LOOK FORWARD. We often find our purpose in the rearview mirror. What were your dreams as a kid? What did you want to be when you grew up? What gave you joy when you were little? There’s a reason that we have memories—so we can look back. As adults, most of the time we’re not so good at seeing the future. When we try to look forward, our horizon looks blurry. We struggle to figure out if we are on the right track about what to do next. We look for that one thing that will give us that sense of finding our life purpose. But we need to do the opposite: look back, review our life experiences, edit out what didn’t work, and recapture our dreams.
USE FEAR CONSTRUCTIVELY. Fear is excitement misplaced; it’s really fuel for the soul and can ignite passion. The best things in my life have scared the shit out of me, but they are also the things that have changed the course of my life, exposing me to greater adventures, and the greatest of all adventures, discovering my life purpose and myself.
Fear also makes you focus on the task at hand. It sharpens your senses and makes you more alert. And it makes you aware of what could happen next. Let’s say you’ve got to pitch a new product to upper management, and you’re scared out of your pants. Recognize, accept, and embrace that fear, and you’ll be given focus, sharpened senses, more alertness, and greater awareness as a gift. Don’t fight it. Tell yourself, “Yes, I’m afraid, but I know it’s making me sharper, so I’m going to do a better job at making this pitch.” Once you’ve done this consciously a few times, the process will happen by itself. Your brain will become programmed into channeling your fear into success.
MAKE BELIEVE. There’s one time of the year I really love—Christmas! After all, I was born on December 20 and named after the holiday. While pregnant with me, my mom had to stay in bed for several months to avert a miscarriage, so in gratitude, when I was born healthy, she named me Christmas Joye. I love the holiday for another reason—we get to enjoy make-believe stories about Santa and elves and others. It’s not because we’re deluded; instead, it’s because we choose to inspire ourselves with positive and playful possibilities. When we allow ourselves to imagine, we expand the range of what we think is possible for ourselves.
So let yourself “make believe”—and imagine what you’d like to do, achieve, be, or change. Tell yourself: “I believe in me. I believe I can do anything . . . be anything, create anything, dream anything, become anything.” Such make-believe fosters mental processing and decision-making, and can help create a clear vision of your life purpose.
Imagining scenes of your “dream life” helps you make better choices to lead you closer to that dream life. If you’re constantly thinking about something, you’ll naturally be pulled toward it. You’ll emulate things that match your dream life. Eventually you’ll be living that life—and dreaming of an even more amazing life.
FORMULATE A PERSONAL MISSION STATEMENT. A personal mission statement is a defining document that is the how and what of your life’s purpose. Mission statements are written down, brief enough to be memorized, and reviewed regularly for progress. Unlike goals, they don’t have timelines or steps to accomplish. Mission statements reflect your life’s guiding philosophy—your way of being in the world. You may not be ready to create one just yet, but it’s at least a good idea to start. It may even help you crystallize your life purpose.
Set aside some quiet time to ask and answer the following questions: What would you like others to remember about you? What do you want to accomplish? What kind of person do you want to be? What do you want others to experience when they come in contact with you? How will you contribute to the betterment of your profession or community or society at large?
Start with short phrases or statements about things that are near and dear to you. These are your values or beliefs that make you unique. Some of mine include: Live according to my values. Believe in myself and my abilities and let no person, situation, or factor sway me away from these. Leave a legacy, practice what I preach, and be a role model and mentor.
Also write down words to live by. These are your favorite sayings, words that define your beliefs. One of mine is You change your thoughts, you change your world.
There’s no hurry on the way to finding your life purpose. Grandma Moses started painting masterpiece scenes of rural life at age seventy-six and continued right up until her death at age one hundred and one. A down-on-his-luck Colonel Harland Sanders turned his life around at age sixty-five when he began (with his first Social Security check!), and later built, the Kentucky Fried Chicken empire. Julia Child whipped up her first TV omelet in her fifties. Not that you have to be a late bloomer, but once you know your life purpose and are headed in the direction of your dreams, you must convert all this into specific measurable goals and then act on them with the certainty that you will achieve them.
For Today
TODAY’S QUOTE
Winners are people with definite purpose in life.
—DENIS WAITLEY
TODAY’S AFFIRMATION
TODAY’S CHALLENGE
FIRST, I challenge you to find a playground with a swing set and swing on the swings. Spend at least ten minutes “playing” with no phone! This activity will help you feel alive, passionate, and connected to something bigger than yourself—and motivate you to discover other passionate pursuits on your own.
SECOND, bring the following questions to the playground. Think about these questions as you swing. Afterward, write your honest responses on a piece of paper or in your journal. Your answers will ultimately be an expression of what you are and what you are becoming.
1. What did you want to be when you grew up?
2. When you were younger, who were your heroes?
3. If money wasn’t an obstacle, how would you like to spend next week?
4. If you asked good friends and loved ones to write down one compliment that each one thinks best describes you, what would be the most common compliment?
5. If you wrote a song about yourself, what would the title be?
6. What serves as the greatest inspiration for you in your daily life?
7. If you starred in a reality-TV show, how would viewers describe your personality?
8. If you could become an instant expert on one subject, what would it be?
9. If you entered a talent competition, what would you perform onstage?
10. What are the five things that make you the happiest?
11. What do you want to leave behind for your family?
Review your answers and see if you can pull out: personal qualities (such as friendly, intellectual, a good communicator); dreams and ambitions; talents (such as painting, singing, motivating people by public speaking, athletics, volunteering, and so forth); and desires (traveling, cleaning up the environment, running for political office). Review each of these. You may just discover your purpose—whether it’s having a strong marriage, a fulfilling career, financial stability, a charitable commitment, or a deep spiritual connection—or you may get pretty darn close! Continue your pursuit and stay in the flow.
After you get home, write your mission statement. Think of it like a business plan and use the following template as a guide:
I [fill in your name] aspire to be a [insert personal qualities] who can use my [insert talents and/or beliefs and values] to [insert the impact you’d like to have in life] by [insert recurring actions you’ll take] often, because I am supposed to [insert life purpose]. And in doing so, I live by these words: [fill in your favorite words or phrases].
Today’s Mental Goal:
Today’s Personal Goal:
Today’s Spiritual Goal:
MY BADASS REFLECTIONS FOR TODAY
What are you most grateful for today?
Mentally: ______________________________
Physically: ______________________________
Spiritually: ______________________________
What was the biggest success for you today?
Mentally: ______________________________
Physically: ______________________________
Spiritually: ______________________________
What was the biggest challenge for you today? How did you overcome it?
Mentally: ______________________________
Physically: ______________________________
Spiritually: ______________________________
What can you do tomorrow to make it a better day?
Mentally: ______________________________
Physically: ______________________________
Spiritually: ______________________________
CHECKLIST
I completed my habit change challenges.
I made healthy choices today for my mind, body, and spirit.
I’ve expressed my gratitude for today and all it brings, good and bad.
I’ve prepared for tomorrow and all the unknowns it might bring.