WHERE WOULD WE be if we listened to all the people who tell us what we can’t do or what we can’t dream? They’ve been talking to me for years, beginning with a grade school teacher who constantly told me I was an underachiever. For a long time I listened to people like her, but finally their “advice” fell on deaf ears. I no longer make room in my life for naysayers and pessimists. I’m proud to say that my success in CrossFit, NASCAR, business, and elsewhere stems from the fact that I’m a relentless rebel at heart—unwilling to let others decide who I am and what I stand for and willing to pave my own way in this world.
I use the term relentless rebel a lot; it’s one of my favorite phrases and one that I think describes me best. So what exactly does it mean to be relentless, much less a relentless rebel? It means that you refuse to listen to negative people or see things or events as failures.
Relentless rebels are like my dog, Fran, with a bone in her mouth. The more I try to take away the bone, the harder she clamps down. When we don’t get the results we seek, we are simply more motivated to not only reach our goal but surpass it. This feedback is fuel for our souls.
Trust me, there have been plenty of times in my life where I haven’t gotten my way or didn’t achieve what I wanted. Either I didn’t get the job I desired, things did not go my way in a competition, a project didn’t turn out as planned, or a certain goal was way overshot—yep . . . way overshot. These things happen to everyone; no one is immune from these hurdles.
What separates those who fail from those who achieve greatness is the reluctance to accept that event as failure. I believe that if you continue to do what you know you can, eventually, on a long enough timeline, you will achieve what you once thought was impossible. Most people fail because they give up on their goals. Giving up in my life is simply not an option, ever.
My journey to being a relentless rebel started early. When I was nine years old growing up in Lynchburg, Virginia, I wanted very much to play baseball rather than girls’ softball—it wasn’t to make a gender statement but because a baseball fit better in my small hand. The boy’s league I tried to join said I couldn’t play. Now, my mother doesn’t take any shit from anyone, and she let them know she would be at their office Monday morning with a camera crew so they could explain why they were keeping me from playing on the league. Next thing I knew, I was approved to play baseball, and it turned out that I was pretty good at it. I held my own with the boys, and even hit a couple of home runs! I saw how powerful it was to challenge the masses who want to tell you no or hold you back.
When I first dipped my toes in fitness as an adult, I was told that I would never be an athlete. I was too scrawny, too underweight, too borderline anorexic, too much of a weakling. At the time, I was surrounded by negative people who didn’t understand me or why I was training. I cared what they thought about me, sure—but not as much as I cared about my training and myself. My joy in training wasn’t theirs, and I finally broke away from their negative messages. I stuck with my training and fell in love with lifting heavy weights. It took practice, discipline, and dedication to build strength. Today I’m reminded of how far I’ve come—and can still go.
In 2010, after I’d been in CrossFit for a while, a friend tried to get me to compete in my first CrossFit Games. These are athletic competitions in which you undergo a variety of tough athletic events that include Olympic lifting, running, powerlifting, rowing, swimming, and more. I was freaked out by the thought of competing. I hadn’t yet consider myself an athlete, although I had been training like one for years.
Other friends had discouraged me, telling me that I was too small or not strong enough, or that other girls were faster than I was. I took offense at that, but also worried that they might be right. Their words weighed heavily on me and were hard to push aside. But something deep down inside me told me I could do it, because I was good at what I did.
Then a new friend encouraged me to sign up. He told me to have fun and enjoy the process. I listened to him, but I really listened to my heart. I really did want to compete. I really did want to be an athlete. And I really did want to kick some ass on a competition floor. So I entered, and out of sixty-three female contestants, I took fifth place in the sectionals and twentieth at the regionals—and was proud of it. I have competed in the CrossFit Games Open ever since then, returning to regionals four times and the Games twice, not to mention countless smaller competitions.
The more immersed I got in CrossFit, the more I explored the possibility of taking my career in a new direction. I already owned a CrossFit gym, but I wanted to make an even better living from being an athlete—with books, seminars, teaching health and wellness, and more. Even after I had been successful in opening and running a gym as well as competing, naysayers told me I could never do all these extra endeavors, but I did them all. Now I love it when someone tells me I can’t or shouldn’t do something, because it only fuels my fire to achieve what they perceive as impossible.
When you’re mentally tough, you have the power to do whatever you put your mind to. I know, it sounds so clichéd! But it is true. You become a relentless rebel because you have a strong mental tenacity that defies what lesser minds believe. Your mental state controls the rest of your being. It’s your hard drive for life.
To this day, I’m still told no. Often it takes the form of merciless criticism in social media. They’ll say, “She’s too muscular” or “She needs boobs.” It’s so easy to criticize someone without realizing that those you are finding fault with are actually people with feelings. It’s really sad that people can be so passionate about something behind the security of their computer, but they would never tell you to your face. It may not be their personal choice to have a body that looks like mine. That’s fine. No one has to approve of it, nor do they have to like it. It should be a lot easier to compliment someone and just be inspired by what they’re doing. I want my body to help women see their own bodies differently—to see that a woman can be feminine and strong and beautiful.
Through these experiences, I ultimately shifted my thinking from allowing others to define me to asking myself, “Why not me?” Over time, with that mentality, I became the exception. I rebelled against the skeptics—all those naysayers, those people who didn’t believe I could do things—and used them as my inspiration to go out there and show them what I’m made of. That’s what a badass does!
No matter what you set out to do, there will always be doubters. But this is a positive sign. It means that you’re setting yourself up to do something amazing and become the exception! So dare to push your potential.
At the same time, we don’t want to be overly influenced by naysayers and their negativity—you know, go out and do things just because people say we can’t. That becomes just as unreasonable as their naysaying. I prefer to be motivated by my own internal drive—by a sense of my purpose in life and what is possible for me. I look at what’s important to me, and maybe someone sees my hopes and dreams as impossible or improbable, but I can’t let that squash them. The next time you find yourself up against these forces, think of the word impossible. Broken down, it really means “I’m possible!”
Understand, too, that change frightens most people. To many, it is especially frightening to watch someone else have the courage to chase their dreams. Why? Because it eliminates their excuse for not doing so. It’s much easier for them to try to talk you out of your change than to act on their own dream. Don’t let someone else’s insecurity or small thinking determine your life! You are the one who has to live with your decisions, not them.
Are You a Relentless Rebel?
Do you take life’s curve balls and face them head on? Do you stand up to naysayers or back down without a fight? Here’s a quiz to help you find out. Grab a pen or pencil and mark your answers to the following questions. Be honest!
You hear that someone has been trash-talking you. How do you respond?
A. I rise above it. Trash-talking is at the expense of their character, not mine.
B. I send that person an angry text message. Two can play the trash-talking game.
C. I feel depressed that anyone would trash-talk me.
Which phrase are you most likely to overhear being said about you?
A. She is so inspiring; I’d like to get to know her better.
B. What a crazy chick.
C. I don’t know how to read her. Did I do something to offend her?
When you pitch a great idea at work and a coworker promptly dismisses it, you:
A. Confidently respond, “I see what you mean, but my approach is more complex than that. I’ll email everyone more details to elaborate on the concept.”
B. Say, “Hey, that was a put-down. I don’t see you coming up with anything better.”
C. Sheepishly back off: “Forget it. It was a dumb idea anyway.”
How important are others’ opinions to you when you’re deciding on an important course of action?
A. Somewhat important.
B. Not important.
C. Very important.
When someone says no to you, what’s your reaction?
A. I take it as a dare.
B. I’m pissed off.
C. I’m dejected.
SCORING
If you marked three or more A’s, consider yourself a relentless rebel. You don’t let naysayers or toxic people take you down. You have the confidence to follow your own path and know that it will lead to success.
If you marked three or more B’s, you aren’t a goody-two-shoes, but you aren’t yet a relentless rebel either. You’re stuck in the middle and that’s totally okay! You know how to pick your battles, and you usually aim for the least amount of controversy or drama.
If you marked three or more C’s, you let yourself be guided too much by other people. Learn to rely more on your own inner strength. You have it; just learn to unleash it!
I recognize that many of you have been beaten down by friends, family, or coworkers who try to tell you what you can’t do rather than what you can. But once you make up your mind to do something, go for it. Work hard at whatever it is, with passion, enthusiasm, and focus. Stop thinking about why you can’t do it or why other people won’t like it or won’t believe in what you’re doing. It’s your life, and you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters.
It can be very challenging to do this, especially when people who are close to you don’t see your vision, understand your purpose, or support what you are doing. I have lost many, many “friends” to my pursuit of my own happiness, and I am okay with that. The people who have stayed in my small circle are the ones who see my true self and purpose and support me even if they don’t understand all of it. You’ll have many chances to truly live your life the way you love, but that’s also the exhilarating part—you do get to live the life you love!
So stand tall and be a shining example of what you want to represent. Don’t let anyone who puts down your positive lifestyle get an upper hand. Don’t accept complacency as a way of life. Proudly show the results of your success and positive attitude every day. Use that power to your advantage. Let your confidence shine through all aspects of your existence, and be a relentless rebel.
For Today
TODAY’S QUOTE
I don’t worry. I don’t doubt. I’m daring. I’m a rebel.
—MR. T
TODAY’S AFFIRMATION
TODAY’S CHALLENGE
Sum up your character in a single flattering phrase, such as A Real Badass! Driven to Succeed! Superhero of the World. Write this down and place it where you can see it often.
Imagine your phrase with your picture on a huge billboard overlooking a high-traffic major highway. Hold this image in your mind and revisit it often. Place it in a space in your house or work that you see daily. Write it on your mirror, put it in your car—wherever you will see it—and speak it aloud whenever you see it.
Today’s Mental Goal:
Today’s Personal Goal:
Today’s Spiritual Goal:
MY BADASS REFLECTIONS FOR TODAY
What are you most grateful for today?
Mentally: ____________________________________________________________
Physically: ____________________________________________________________
Spiritually: ____________________________________________________________
What was the biggest success for you today?
Mentally: ____________________________________________________________
Physically: ____________________________________________________________
Spiritually: ____________________________________________________________
What was the biggest challenge for you today? How did you overcome it?
Mentally: ____________________________________________________________
Physically: ____________________________________________________________
Spiritually: ____________________________________________________________
What can you do tomorrow to make it a better day?
Mentally: ____________________________________________________________
Physically: ____________________________________________________________
Spiritually: ____________________________________________________________
CHECKLIST
I completed my habit change challenges.
I made healthy choices today for my mind, body, and spirit.
I’ve expressed my gratitude for today and all it brings, good and bad.
I’ve prepared for tomorrow and all the unknowns it might bring.