When you let your needs for attachment trump your values, you are headed for problems. However, when your values trump your needs for attachment, you are headed in the right direction. Moving beyond boundaries requires understanding what to value and look for in the other person before you become vulnerable and attached. There is a due-diligence process that will help you know how to determine if the other person is ready for a relationship. At the beginning, you won’t know where this connection will lead. You could end up with a great friendship, a business partnership, or even a marriage. Who knows? But you can know a great deal about whether the person is ready for the two of you to pursue and explore it.
You may be interested in a new person, or you may be looking at an existing relationship on which you previously set limits and now must determine if the person is “new” and changed in the right ways. Some of the chapters in part 3 have to do with the other person’s process of growth, healing, and maturity. Others address how toxic or safe the person is. But every chapter will equip you to more smoothly navigate the relational waters beyond boundaries.