Making Cozy Personal
Living a cozy life is a very personal situation for each of us and it will often be different from one person to another. What feels cozy to you may not feel cozy to someone else. To make it even more personal, take the time to go within yourself to learn more about your spiritual self and how coziness can help you reach both your personal and spiritual goals.
A Conversation
with Your Higher Self
If I were to define the higher self, I would say that it is your core spiritual essence—the real you that is made of energy and light. It is the whole of your being, your complete consciousness; it is who you are when you’re in the spiritual realm, the main part of your spiritual being that stays behind in the spiritual plane while another part of your being incarnates in the physical plane. On the earthly plane, we are but a piece of our whole selves. Just imagine how much knowledge you’d have if you discussed things with the main part of your energy that stayed behind in the spiritual realm to guide you on your journey here. Your higher self knows everything and can shed light on your path if you’ll only ask for assistance. It knows the lessons you set out to learn in this lifetime because, as the whole you, you planned the life map you created prior to birth. Once born, the part of you that is experiencing the incarnation is always connected to your higher self (that’s an unbreakable energy bond). It is the part you can seek guidance from at any time. Your higher self is the whole you, the complete you, the spiritual you, the light and energy you, the real you.
It’s natural to talk to your higher self. Your mind does it instinctively all of the time when you’re thinking about things and questioning yourself. If you don’t know where to start, let’s go over some things that will help you to consciously connect with and have a conversation with your higher self. First, you’ll talk with your higher self in your mind’s eye. You might imagine yourself sitting together somewhere in nature, in the Akashic Records, or anywhere that feels right for you to have a meeting with your higher self. The answers to the things you ask your higher self will feel as if they’re coming from a place of wisdom, of higher knowledge, of infinite patience, and of understanding.
It’s important to learn to distinguish between your higher self and your ego. If you’re having a conversation with your higher self and the answers all seem to be fear based, petty, or have some sort of drama involved, then you’re talking with your ego and not your higher self. A discussion with your higher self will never have any negative connotations. The information you receive will always be sage advice that will help you advance on your spiritual path.
Once you’re able to connect with your higher self, do it often to keep yourself on the right course. Many times, our higher selves will reach out to give us messages, but we have to meet them halfway because they don’t leave the spiritual realm. It’s up to us to make the connection by raising our frequency so that we can get closer to where our higher self exists. Remember you can ask your higher self anything and get an honest answer because the higher self does not lie, fib, or color the truth in any way. You might not like what you hear in some instances but that’s all part of the learning process and the purpose of being on the earthly plane.
You Are Significant
Before you even picked up this book, you made the conscious decision to add more coziness to your life. So far, you’ve read about different ways you can make your life flow in a more positive direction simply by being aware of and implementing cozy factors into your daily existence.
It’s important to realize the significance of yourself as you live a cozy lifestyle. No one else is exactly like you. Whatever steps you take to bring a sense of calmness, warmth, and positivity into your existence, it is yours and yours alone. No one else will do things the way you do them. If you haven’t done so already, now is the time to embrace your own uniqueness by making a conscious decision to be your true spiritual self. Go after your own dreams, make plans that fit what you desire, and be loving and thoughtful to everyone else along the way. This is your life and you’re in the leading role.
As you move forward, know that other people who live a cozy life are just like you. They don’t have it all going for them, and they aren’t luckier, more unique, or any different than you are. What they do have, and what you’ve been developing through understanding how a cozy life can be beneficial to you, is a keen sense of appreciation for all the bountiful gifts they are given in their lives. They’ve released feelings of frustration, anger, anxiety, jealousy, hatred, and other negative emotions. They see the blessings all around them and don’t take anything or anyone for granted. It’s all about your perception of the world around you and the people, places, and things in your life. It’s about connecting to your soul essence on a daily basis and appreciating your own spiritual self.
For some people, embracing coziness is as simple as deciding to slow down and live a simpler life and then remembering to do something each day to connect to the coziness around them. For others, it is easier to write everything down and then review it in order to maintain forward motion. And there are those who plan out how they will add coziness every day for a week or month in advance so when they look at their agenda, they see a reminder to slow down and enjoy something cozy. It doesn’t matter which method you use, whatever works for you is the best path to follow.
Embracing a cozy lifestyle also enables you to become more aware of things like playfulness, lightheartedness, spontaneity, affection, laughter, amusement, and cheerfulness. When you are aware of these special moments, you’re able to cherish them even more. You’ll feel conscious of every instance as it happens in the here and now, enjoying life to the fullest extent possible. It can change your entire perspective of the world you live in when you are aware of your spiritual self and are thankful for the gifts in your life. It will allow you to live your life to the fullest and filled with positivity. You are an amazing spiritual being. You are significant.
Self-Care of Mind, Body, and Spirit
The world we live in is filled with both positivity and negativity. You see it online and on the television. Often the negative stories outweigh the positive ones. You also run into people during your daily life that can affect you positively or negatively, depending on their moods, the actions they take, or the words they say. These energies are all around us, so it’s up to us to take care of ourselves in mind, body, and spirit. No one else will do it for you and only you know what feels appropriate for your own personal situations.
If you find yourself around negative people or in situations where you’re uncomfortable due to the energy, you always have the option of leaving that situation. The darkness of negativity can’t dim your positive light unless you let it. It can sneak up on you when you’re not paying attention though. Once you realize what has happened, you can take steps to either change the situation or remove yourself from it. Changing negatives to positives can bring about transformational healing.
The self-care of your mind means realizing when you’re overloaded, when you’re not thinking clearly, or when stress is getting to you. Sometimes we can have so many things going on in our minds that it affects our ability to relax. You might be sitting quietly, but if your mind is going at one hundred miles an hour, then you’re not really resting. When this happens, try to compartmentalize your thoughts and put them away for review at a later date. Worry is a big deterrent to a quiet mind. If you’re worrying about something, try to decide if your thoughts are going to change anything. If not, think of a plan of action that you can do later and then put the worry away. This will help you find balance and ultimately rest your mind. If you try the Swedish practice of lagom (see Chapter One), which is moderation in everything, then it will help you find balance too.
Self-care of your body is just as important. If you’re feeling sluggish or out of sorts, maybe you need to add some time to exercise in your day. If you don’t have time to start a formal exercise program, maybe you could take a walk or park farther away when you go somewhere and get in a few extra steps that way. If there are things you’ve been thinking of doing to get healthier, go ahead and start them instead of putting them off. Maybe you need to lose or gain weight, stop smoking, or give yourself a makeover with a new haircut. The things you do to make your body healthier or to make yourself feel better about your looks are all ways to take care of your body.
Taking care of your spirit will enable you to find balance in your life. If you’re lacking motivation, are unsure of your spiritual path, or just want to discover more about connecting with your spiritual self, then you can learn more by reading about the various elements of spirituality. Many times, learning about your intuitive nature, which we all have, or understanding about guides and the other side, may lead you to the path you’re supposed to be traveling. I’ve always believed that we all experience a catalyst that steers us to enlightenment. It may be an illness, a near-death experience, or seeing something that can’t be explained. When you take the time to seek your inner truth, take care of the body you’ve been given, and quiet your mind, you are caring for your whole being and moving forward in positivity. You may even experience a complete transformation both without and within.
Work/Life Balance
Part of living a cozy life is maintaining a balance between your job and your home life. Sometimes it’s more difficult than you’d think if you have a particularly stressful job, if you have to bring work home often, and especially if you work from home or are an entrepreneur.
When you take time from your job to experience your life, then it refreshes you so that you are more productive at work. For example, as a writer it’s important to live your life in order to gain information that you can share with others through your articles, blog posts, or books. If you’re constantly writing, then you might run out of new experiences to write about. Writer’s call this balance between work and home refilling the well. When you take time away from your work to refill your well, it enables you to feel more motivated when at work.
I believe that learning how to find a way to balance our work lives and personal ones is one of our big lessons during our lifetime. If you work too much, you might miss important events or spend less time with family and friends. After a while, you might start resenting your job simply because you feel it pulls you away from your personal life and family too much. Finding balance between work and your home life can help you to work smarter in your job so you can accomplish more while at work and have less need to bring it home with you. In turn, this leads to more job satisfaction and productivity because you no longer feel it is cutting into your personal time.
In order to live, we have to earn money to pay our bills so we all have to work. Being happy in your job, feeling committed to your employer, and feeling that you’re a successful person who is doing a great job in your chosen field, is important to your overall sense of well-being. Having time away from your job to just be you and to have fun with family and friends is necessary because that’s the core central you. We have to work to have money to live, but we have to live to be able to work. Finding ways to cope with the balance between the two can help you maintain a healthy relationship within yourself between the two.
Try It Now Exercise
Every now and then you have to make time for yourself. A wonderful way to accomplish this is to have a me day for yourself at least once a month. It’s a day that you plan in advance if you’ve got a family, or if you’re single that you can do on the spur of the moment. Tell everyone that you’re taking a me day prior to the actual day. For this exercise, let’s plan some things that you can do during your me day. You can choose to do anything you want to do. But, don’t plan to go grocery shopping or do any other chores. Instead, choose something enjoyable that you never seem to have time to do in the regular course of your day or things you want to do that no one else wants to do with you. This helps you to enjoy being with yourself, to pursue your own interests, and to have a stress-free, relaxing day.
So what kind of things can you do during a me day? You can sleep in or get up at sunrise, you can do nothing but lie around and watch movies all day long or you can go out and do things you’ve been putting off because they weren’t necessary, even though you wanted to do them. Some people may enjoy a day at the spa; others might like to go to an amusement park, a museum, the beach, or any number of places. You might decide to work in your yard or just read a novel all day. Maybe you’ll practice gezelligheid like the Dutch and spend the day getting out and about and doing some fun shopping or have fika, the Swedish coffee break (see Chapter One). Whatever you do, do it for yourself. There are times when you can have a me day with friends, which can also be called an us day. Maybe there’s someone you are great friends with that will be in town for a day so you plan to spend the day together. It’s always wonderful to get together with friends and do fun things.
If you don’t have the time to take a me day, how about a me hour or a me morning, afternoon, or evening? Some me time is better than none at all. You might only be able to swing it once a month or every couple of weeks. Definitely try to make it more often than once every six months or a year. You need me time to decompress, to get back to yourself, and to think of the you that you may have lost along the way. Reconnecting to yourself is just as important as taking care of others or work or all of the other responsibilities we have in life.
We all need time to just be for our emotional and mental well-being. It is being able to enjoy our own company while doing things we like that allows us to truly feel our inner essence and to become reunited with our spiritual selves. You may not even realize that is what’s happening but suddenly you’re filled with a sense of contentment, of peace, and that all is right within your world, just because you’re taking time for yourself and to reconnect with yourself.
Routines, Rituals, Normalcy,
and Knowing What to Expect
Having a routine or ritual that you do every day creates a sense of normalcy in your life. You know what to expect and what’s going to happen when, and you may seldom deviate from your routine. There’s consistency, structure, organization, and reliability surrounding you when you follow a schedule. Routines are wonderful to have as long as you don’t go overboard about sticking to them. If you’re too stuck to your routine, people may refer to you as set in your ways. While there’s nothing wrong with enjoying your routine, sometimes you’ll have fuller, more enjoyable experiences if you shake it up a little by being flexible. To fine-tune your routine, look at what you already do and the times you do those things. If you notice a pattern in your day, then that’s the framework of your routine. If you’d like to change it up some to add new activities, then take some time to rethink and restructure how you go about your day.
When you’re creating a routine for yourself, it’s essential to make time to do the things you love doing. This increases the feeling of coziness in your life. If you aren’t incorporating the things you enjoy into your daily routine, then you might start to feel slighted, as if you’re always doing for everyone else and never have time for the things you want to do. If that happens, then it’s a good time to let go of the things you can to replace them with the things you enjoy.
Peacefulness in Solitude
Spending time alone is important for our spiritual growth and our personal well-being. Seeking the peacefulness in solitude is a necessary step in order to create a cozy lifestyle in today’s world. This doesn’t mean that you go into isolation for months at a time; it simply means that you take some time each day just for yourself to find and connect with the peacefulness within your own soul and in the world around you. Sitting alone or taking a long walk in the natural world so you can completely immerse yourself in your thoughts and the connection to your frequency and your spiritual essence is when the greatest ideas, revelations, and eye-opening concepts will come to you.
It’s great spending time with family and friends, but you still have to have time to yourself to just be you and do something that you enjoy that connects with your spiritual essence. For example, an artist usually doesn’t paint pictures with other people around unless they’re doing a portrait. Writing is another endeavor that you do by yourself. Whatever you enjoy doing in solitude can lead to fantastic ideas from the universal stream of consciousness. If you decide to act on these ideas then they were meant for you, but if you don’t take any action, then they’ll go to someone else.
If time is a factor in getting some alone time, try getting up earlier in the morning. You can take your walk as dawn breaks, or you can sit in a quiet spot in your home and watch the sun rise. For me, early morning is a great time to write. I also tune into myself by using earplugs when there’s a lot going on around me. This helps me to focus and find peacefulness in what can sometimes be a chaotic atmosphere. You could also plan dates with yourself—time when you can enjoy the solitude and peacefulness of being alone. You might think that spending time alone is the most boring thing you could do. I can understand this if you’re used to always being on the go with a bunch of friends or family. When you spend time alone you’re slowing down, connecting with yourself. It gives you time to just think about things in your life or things that you’d like to do, which in turn helps you get to know yourself better. Solitude gives you the ability to mull over problems and come up with solutions. Spending time alone is a great way to unwind and release stress, consider the life lessons you’re learning, and connect with the creativity inside you.
It’s Okay to Say No
Have you ever had someone ask you to do something, or hint for you to do something, that you really didn’t want to do, yet you felt obligated to say yes to their request? When you’re intuitive, especially if you’re empathic, or if you’re a care-giver type of person, then you might find yourself saying yes out of a sense of misplaced obligation or guilt. This is especially true if the person who’s asking for the favor is a family member or a close friend. The majority of people like to be helpful and to make others happy. It’s when you’re unable to say no, which can be a problem for you, when you need to take action.
Let’s first look at some of the reasons why we might have a hard time saying no to other people’s requests of our time and energy. One of the primary reasons is because we feel we’re not being the best person we can be if we don’t do the things others ask of us. If our actions make someone else’s life easier or helps them, that’s great. But it is not our purpose to carry the burden for someone else or to give up our happiness to make their life easier and more carefree. This type of guilt—that we need to do things for others so they’ll be happy regardless of how it affects us—is unhealthy and out of balance spiritually. We may also feel that if we don’t do what the person is asking that we’ll get into some kind of trouble, they’ll no longer like us, or there will be some sort of conflict between us and the other person. This is one reason why some people take on too much work at their job. If you do a great job but never say no to extra work, then you could easily get overwhelmed. To stay in balance, we have to learn to say no to maintain your own well-being. Whatever your reason for avoiding the word no when people ask you to do something, it’s important to realize when you need to start saying no if you’re not feeling right about their request. Some people will try to manipulate you into saying yes, so make sure you’re aware of this type of action; even if it’s in hindsight after the request, you can learn from it and make a healthier decision for yourself in the future.
If you’re continually saying yes then people may just start taking you for granted, which may lead to burnout and exhaustion. Let the people who are asking for help be responsible for themselves instead. Saying no to someone else’s request might enable you to say yes when something is coming that is a benefit to you, or to you and another, not for you to always do for another.
Try It Now Exercise
Water is a necessary part of living. We need to drink it to stay hydrated, we need it to bathe and to cook, and it’s popular for sports and other forms of relaxation. One of the best ways to regain your balance is through relaxing around water. Trips to the beach or a lake, taking a swim in a pool, or soaking in a Jacuzzi are fun ways to become one with the energy of water. There are times that you probably won’t be able to get to the beach or lake and there’s not a pool nearby, yet you may be yearning to experience that water connection. In cases like this, as long as you have a bathtub in your home, you can create a cozy water atmosphere.
You might think that you don’t have enough time to take a long soak in the tub. If you can fit twenty to thirty minutes in your schedule, you can still reap the benefits of a cozy bath without having to use up a lot of your time. Then again, once you get in there you might just find yourself lingering. Taking a bath isn’t just a female thing. Men can benefit from soaking in the tub too. Bathing is a great way for everyone to wind down and let go of the stress of the day.
When it comes time to take your bath, instead of just filling up the tub and sitting in it for a while staring at the walls, be creative with the atmosphere. As the tub fills with water that is as hot as is comfortable for you, sprinkle in your favorite bubble bath, fragranced Epsom salts (which are especially good for helping sore muscles if you’ve been working out or doing manual labor), or baking soda and oils (to soothe your skin if it is dry or itchy). Scents can help you relax, and there are wide varieties of them for both women and men on the market. Check out the aromatherapy sections in your local stores for great selections. The heat of the water is also soothing to achy muscles and joints if you have arthritis, and the steam can help clear your nasal passages if you’ve got a cold. Light a few candles, take a glass of your favorite beverage to sip on, and turn off the bathroom lights. You’ll create a cozy glow in the bathroom and around the tub, which makes your time in the water even more relaxing. Make sure you have a washcloth so you can soak it with hot water and then place it on your face. It’s a great way to open up your pores.
Using intention during your bath can help you let go of negativity. As you’re sitting in the tub, clear your mind of all the excessive chatter, stop thinking about the things you have to do, and instead just imagine your mind getting quieter and quieter. Replace your thoughts with feelings. Feel the water on your skin; its heat absorbing into your muscles. Watch the flickering of the candle flames, let their movements lull you into deeper relaxation. Now, once you’re completely at one with the water and the cozy atmosphere you’ve created, feel the vibration of the water, allowing it to connect with your frequency and raise it.
As your frequency increases, it pushes all of the negativity that has accumulated within you out through your pores and into the water, where it is stabilized. At the end of your bath, you emerge from the water feeling warm, cozy, and invigorated while the negativity you left behind drains away with the bath water. Soaking in the tub surrounded by candles is a great way to relax and invigorate yourself after the stress of a long day or any time you want to regain balance within your spiritual self.