Weary beyond endurance, once she was home, Flora forced herself to bath and to boil her clothes and the towel she’d used. She even scrubbed her shoes, praying as she did so that she hadn’t brought the virus to her home.
Aunt Pru was asleep in the chair next to the dying fire, and Alice was curled up on the sofa.
‘Aunt Pru, I’m home.’
With a snort and a little jump, Pru opened her eyes. After a moment they held a question.
‘No, I didn’t save him – he died two hours ago.’
‘Oh, lass, does it never end? Let me get you a cup of cocoa, I’m rested now. I managed to clean everything down. You put little one to bed.’
Flora didn’t protest. Sometimes she had to let Pru do as she wanted to, and she knew that what made her happiest was taking care of her and Alice.
The clock struck midnight as they drank the hot, steaming cocoa. Too tired to talk much, they sat in silence for a while. Flora thought over the night’s happenings and how, when the doctor arrived, he had assured Mrs Larch that what had been done was the correct procedure. This had pleased Flora, as there was always a danger that Mrs Larch, who had objected to everything at first, could have begun to think that, instead of helping, Flora had made things worse.
Aunt Pru brought her out of her thoughts. ‘Thou knaws, lass, I often think as I’ve dragged you down. You should be living in a nice house, looked after by servants and the like.’
‘What brought that on? Never think like that, Aunt Pru. I chose to live with you. I chose the love you gave me over all the comforts my Aunt Amelia could have given me. They would have been cold comforts anyway, as she never made me welcome. I was a ticket for her to get money out of my father. I hated every minute there.’
Flora leaned forward and took Aunt Pru’s cold hand in her own. ‘You were the saving of me, and I love you, Aunt Pru. More than I can tell you. None of the struggle we have is your fault. You’re not well, you can’t help that.’
‘What do you think is wrong with me?’
She’d dreaded this question. ‘I think it may be your heart, my dear. I think what you have been through has taken its toll on you. Though that alone wouldn’t necessarily cause heart disease.’
‘I had rheumatic fever as a child.’
‘Oh, that’s probably the cause – if I’m right, and we don’t know that I am. And, you know, patients with damaged hearts can live on for years. It’s just a matter of taking care, not over-exerting yourself. I shouldn’t have asked you to clean down tonight. I was just so afraid of the flu virus getting into our house.’
‘Well, I don’t do much, as you won’t let me, lass, so I doubt it hurt me, though I took a long time to do it. I just have no energy, and me breathing’s troubling me of late.’
This set up a further worry in Flora, but she had no time to ponder it, as the second knock of the night sounded on the door. This one was followed by an impatient rattling of the door knocker.
‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, who’s this now? I hope it’s not anyone else in distress. I’m exhausted.’
Flora went to the door as she spoke. Opening it left her speechless for a moment and then squealing out, ‘Cyrus! Oh, Cyrus.’
She didn’t register how thin he was or his gaunt face, but flung herself at him, laughing and crying tears of joy, all at the same time. To be in his arms took away all the hurt and pain, and rolled the years back. His voice came to her over and over, ‘Flora. Flora, my Flora.’
‘Eeh, lass, bring the poor man in out of the cold and get the door shut.’
Flora laughed. The way Aunt Pru had said this, you’d think Cyrus had only been to the shop and back, instead of being away for almost four years. Taking his hand, she pulled him inside, her gaze never leaving his beloved face.
It was as the light fell on him that the pain of all he’d been through registered with her. ‘Oh, my darling, you’re home now. We’ll soon have you well. Let me take your coat.’
‘I’m fine, my darling. Everything in my world came right the moment you opened the door.’
‘Come away and sit down, lad. You can have my chair, as I’m off to bed. But, by, it’s good to see you.’
‘And you, Aunt Pru. Let me help you – you look worn out, what have you been up to?’
‘Lass’ll tell you everything, lad. And ta. I could do with a help up.’
Flora saw the look of concern pass over Cyrus’s face, but her own concern was for him. His cheeks had sunk in, his eyes had the stare of someone very weak and his clothes hung on his body.
‘I’ll help Aunt Pru. You sit down and get warm, my love. I’ll not be a mo.’
With Aunt Pru tucked up, Flora bent to kiss her head.
‘By, lass, you’ve to tread carefully. He’s damaged in his body, but he could be so in his mind, too. Take things steady, and don’t force him to tell you owt as he don’t want to. Just love him tonight. That’s all he needs.’
‘I will, Aunt Pru, don’t you worry. I’ll smother him in love. Now you get off to sleep.’
Downstairs, she found that Cyrus had rested his head back and had his eyes closed. As quietly as she could, she moved the kettle over the hob and set about making another cup of cocoa. She hoped he liked it.
This thought told her how little she knew of him. They’d had so few days together, and had spent most of them making love.
A tingle went through her, because thinking this awakened feelings she’d long since suppressed. Cyrus opened his eyes. His look was full of love. His hand came out to her and he pulled her down onto his knee. She could feel his thigh bones digging into her, but any worry she might have had about how emaciated he was disappeared, as their lips met. With that touch, her world came right again.
She didn’t want ever to pull away from him, but she could feel how uncomfortable he was, so she took her lips from his and rose. ‘We have our life in front of us, darling. Let’s get you stronger first.’
His smile was apologetic.
‘Darling, nothing is expected of you. To have you back with me is all I asked for. Everything else can happen when it does. Don’t feel that you have to do anything other than be here. And we have such a lot to talk about and to catch up on.’
‘Yes, I need to talk. Some of my fellow prisoners never wanted to, and even on the way home they said they would never speak of what happened to us, but I want to. I want to write it all down and cleanse myself of it.’
‘It was that bad, darling?’
‘It was. But I’m home now. And I’m determined not to let the experience colour the rest of my life, as I fear many will. I’m going to deal with it, then put it behind me.’
‘That’s what I try to do. But you already know most of what happened to me. I could write it in my letters, but I knew there was more than you could write.’
‘They censored our mail. They wanted to create a propaganda message that it was better to surrender and become prisoners-of-war than be killed fighting for what they termed a lost cause.’
‘Yes, we were aware of that message, but none of us believed that conditions were good for you.’
Cyrus took the cocoa and sipped it. ‘When I’ve had this, can I peep at our little girl? I’ve dreamed of the moment I set eyes on her. And I have dreamed of making more babies with you, my darling. So, when I’m stronger, you had better watch out.’
They both laughed. Flora sank onto the mat in front of Cyrus, and he stroked her hair with his free hand.
‘I was so sorry to hear about Freddy, darling. A lovely young man – taken. What a waste of life. So many . . . So many.’
She didn’t want to cry, as she’d done so much of that, and this homecoming wasn’t going to be spoilt by tears of sadness. ‘I know. It’s going to take a lot of getting over, and we have another threat, with the flu pandemic reaching us, but we are to stay strong.’
‘What about your Aunt Pru? She’s not well, is she? What do the doctors say?’
‘We haven’t been able to afford one. But even if we did, I don’t believe there’s anything that can be done.’
‘Not afford one? Why not?’
‘I don’t want to tire you with details, darling, not tonight, but things have been very difficult, moneywise, for a long time now.’
‘But you never said in your letters.’
‘How could I? You had enough on your plate. I tried just to tell you the good things, except when I had to tell you about Freddy, of course. But the main reason was Aunt Pru not being strong enough to care for Alice while I went out to work, so I had to get whatever work I could that allowed me to take her with me. Most of it was very low-paid. And the second reason, which may turn out to be a blessing for us, is that your pay was stopped.’ She went on to explain, hating talking about such things when he’d only just arrived home, but knowing she couldn’t avoid doing so, as he wasn’t going to let it stay in the air until the morning.
‘My God! What authorization did they need? I gave them all they asked for.’
‘Don’t worry about it now. Like Aunt Pru says, no use worrying at a time when you can do nothing about it. Anyway, think, my darling. You have been without pay for almost three years. All of that is owed to you – less what they did pay me. That simply means that even more is owed to you, so we will be all right, now that you are home.’
‘I have other money, too, darling. I told you about my grandfather’s legacy, didn’t I? Well, when we docked, we stayed in barracks for two nights. I had no way of contacting you to let you know that I was home safely, but I needed various things and was taken to the bank. I found that my allowance had built up to a tidy sum. We can open our own home up again, and get medical help for Pru and—’
‘I had to sell our home. I lied in my letter, when I said I’d closed it and moved in with Aunt Pru. I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t ever say sorry for whatever decisions you had to take, darling. It doesn’t matter. I’m home now, and I have more than enough to set us up again. Now, no more talking. I’d say that our future looks bright. Let’s go to bed. I want to hold you, and to feel your body next to mine. I – I don’t know if I can—’
‘Shush, darling. We’ve already visited that. Nothing is expected of you. I just want to lie with you, too. My only stipulation is that you have no clothes on!’
‘You hussy.’
Once more they laughed as they linked hands and went up the stairs.
‘This is Alice’s room. Tread quietly now, don’t wake her.’
They crept into the tiny room, lit by the moon shining through the window. Its light fell across Alice’s bed, showing her screwed up into a ball, with no covers on; her thumb was stuck in her mouth, with a picture of Cyrus on her pillow.
His gasp told of his love. His arm pulled Flora to him. Had she thought her world had been made right, on seeing him? Now she knew it was truly complete, as the circle of her family came together.
Cyrus didn’t want to leave the room, but she gently persuaded him to. ‘Alice will be frightened if she wakes. We’ll make a game in the morning for her. I’ll get up and chat to her about you, as we always do, and then I’ll build up to her knowing that you are here. You don’t look too different from your photo, which she has with her at all times.’
‘It looks a bit crumpled, she must hold it a lot.’
‘That happened when I was giving birth to her. I held it and didn’t realize that I was squeezing it. I imagined that it was your hand.’
‘It was, darling. Whenever you’ve needed me, I’ve only been a thought away. As you have to me.’
Taking his hand, she led him to her bedroom. Aunt Pru had insisted that she have the double room. She was so glad of that now.
They curled up together, their bodies touching in all the places they could touch. And then what Cyrus had feared wouldn’t happen, did happen. His need of her gave Flora joy beyond anything she had imagined, as they rekindled the feelings they had experienced in those first days of meeting.
When Cyrus entered her, it was as if no time had passed since he’d been coupled with her before. She clung to him, manoeuvring him onto his back, so that she could give of herself to him. Nothing stopped the love flowing from one to the other. No barriers existed. The sensations that racked her body seized her whole being and fractured her into a thousand pieces, before bringing her back as a whole person, the person she was meant to be. Loved deeply by this man. No time apart had erased or even splintered any part of that.