Shay heard the door slam from the patio where she’d dragged the browning Christmas tree. She dropped her load and entered the house, rubbing her hands and feeling the sticky tar of tree sap. Her stomach let out a loud rumble. She was hungry all the time, yet it seemed all she did was eat.
“Olivia?”
It was her daughter’s first day back to school after Christmas break, but judging from the banging she heard from Olivia’s bedroom, it hadn’t gone well.
Shay tapped on the closed door. “Olivia?”
The sound of footsteps on the hardwood floor ceased. “What?”
That didn’t sound like her daughter at all. Shay eased the door open.
Olivia stood at the foot of her bed, her chest heaving. Pink splotched her cheeks, and Shay didn’t think it was from the cold walk up the drive.
“What did Katy say now?”
Olivia crossed her arms and pressed her lips tight. But the actions weren’t enough to stop the inevitable tears. They welled up, thick and heavy, then flowed down Olivia’s face. She swiped them away.
“Nothing.” Olivia turned toward her window and looked out at the white landscape.
Shay walked toward the window and put her arm around Olivia’s stiff shoulder. “Come on, now. What is it?”
Olivia looked cute as a bug in a new sweater, and her cut still looked nice, though she was overdue for a trim. What could Katy possibly find wrong now?
“Why did Dad leave?”
The question, so out of the blue, startled Shay. “What?”
“Why’d he leave us? It was my fault, wasn’t it? And Travis too! They both left because of me!”
“What? Honey, what are you talking about?”
“Katy said I’ve had two dads, and they both left because I’m a pain in the butt.”
Shay pressed her lips together, then reached for her phone. “That’s it. I’m calling her mom.”
Olivia grabbed her arm. “No, don’t! That’ll only make it worse.” Tears filled her eyes again. “It’s true, isn’t it? They left because of me!” Olivia turned into Shay and sobbed.
Shay embraced her daughter. “No, hon, that’s not true. Nothing could be further from the truth. You’re a wonderful girl, the daughter of my dreams.”
“Then why’d they leave?” Olivia’s words were muffled.
Shay drew in a deep breath and let it out. “Marriage is complicated, munchkin. Your dad and I—we just weren’t a good match. He loved you very much, though. Didn’t he call you every week after he left? He missed you. He would’ve come back to see you if he were still alive.”
Olivia shuddered in her arms, and Shay tightened her grip.
“Travis loved you too, and his leaving had nothing to do with you. It was my fault, remember?” She knew she risked Olivia’s wrath by saying it, but it was better than her daughter blaming herself.
Olivia sniffled. The tears hadn’t let up. Shay wanted to make everything better, but what could she do? This wasn’t something she could fix with a shopping trip or an appointment at the Hair Barn. This was something Olivia had to believe.
She remembered Travis’s reservation when she’d solved Olivia’s problem by buying her a new wardrobe. What had he said? “You don’t want her thinking her worth comes from clothes. Or that those girls’ opinions really matter.”
But that’s exactly what Shay had taught her, wasn’t it? Not only by her reactions to the teasing, but by how Shay was handling her own problems. By the way she avoided anything that might cause gossip, by the way she reacted when she’d sent the rumor mill into action, by the way she’d left church and hidden in the ladies’ room when she’d felt the judgment of her neighbors.
Oh man, she’d really blown this. Had passed on her own issues to her daughter.
She pulled Olivia from the hug and dried her cheeks. “We need to talk, hon. I’m afraid I haven’t done such a great job.”
Olivia sniffled and frowned. “Not true, Mom.”
“Come here.” Shay tugged her toward the bed, and they sank onto the edge. Where to start?
“Listen, this is something I struggle with. We care when people say things and do things that hurt our feelings. That’s totally natural. But I think I did you a disservice when I reacted to Katy’s teasing the way I did. I shouldn’t have rushed out to fix the things she teased you about.”
“But I like the new clothes and haircut. You said we could afford them.”
“We could. It’s not that. And it’s not that there’s anything wrong with having those things. I just think it’s a mistake to arrange our lives around other people’s opinions. It’s something I’m still learning myself. Abigail reminded me of a scripture recently—” She took Olivia’s white Bible from her nightstand. “Here, I’ll show you.”
She flipped it open to Galatians. “Here it is. Read this one.” She pointed to chapter one, verse ten.
Olivia wiped her eyes clear. “‘For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people?’”
“That verse really helps me put things in perspective. Whenever I start worrying what people think, I say this to myself. It reminds me to focus on God’s opinions, not other people’s.”
“I get it. It’s still hard, though.”
“It’s absolutely hard. Especially at your age. But it’s something to hang on to and remind yourself of.” She gave Olivia a sideways hug. “And, hon, you can be sure that God thinks you’re awfully special, just like I do.”
Olivia leaned into her.
“Your dad thought you were special too, and so did Travis. So don’t let Katy O’Neil convince you otherwise.”
“I’ll try.”
“Are you sure you don’t want me to call her mom? Maybe it’ll make her stop.”
“She’ll just tease me about it. Or her friends will do it for her. I need to handle this myself, Mom.”
Shay studied her daughter, then gave her a final squeeze. “All right. But if you change your mind, let me know, okay?”
Olivia nodded.
“Now go get cleaned up and come help me with supper, okay?”
Olivia frowned. “It’s only three forty-five.”
Shay shrugged. “What can I say? Your brother or sister is hungry again.”
That got a little smile from her daughter. It was a start.