The old saying is true. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.
Annie left her bedroom and made her way down the narrow hall. The tired wood floors creaked under her feet. The house might be old and small, but it was hers. When she reached the living room, the morning light flooded through their picture window, coloring the walls with sunshine.
She wished she hadn’t checked her e-mail before church. She didn’t need another distraction today. Midge had sent her only one reader question to use for the first column, and Annie had no answers.
She turned into the small kitchen where Ryder was slurping Cheerios at the table. He was still in his Batman pajamas, a striped towel-cape tied at his throat. His dark hair stood at attention on the left side.
She ruffled it. “Morning, Bed Head. Where’s Mommy?”
“I dunno.”
Annie headed into the living room and saw her sister’s reclining form on the couch.
“You’re going to be late,” she said, though it was obvious Sierra was skipping church.
“Not going. I’m extra tired.”
This made three weeks in a row. “Late night?”
“Way too late. I met up with some of Wade Ryan’s old friends from his rodeo days—they’re passing through for that rodeo in Bozeman. You should’ve come—it was a single woman’s palooza last night. We had a blast.”
She wondered how much all that fun had cost. “It was too late for Ryder to be out. Besides, you know how I feel about cowboys.”
“Wouldn’t kill you to have fun once in a while, you know.”
“And it wouldn’t kill you to come to church now and again.”
“I know, I know.” Sierra pulled the quilt over her shoulders. “I’ll go next week.”
Annie checked her watch. It was too late to get Ryder ready. She had to be out the door in three minutes. “Have you applied anywhere?”
“Not yet, but I will.”
Annie smothered a complaint. “Tomorrow?”
Sierra sighed. “Yes, Annie.”
“I need some help on my first ‘Dear Annie’ letter. Will you be home this afternoon?”
“Sounds like fun.”
Annie slid on her boots, said good-bye, and left, her heart heavy despite the beautiful sunrise cresting over the Absaroka Range. She didn’t understand Sierra’s sudden lack of interest in church. She knew it was symptomatic of a faltering spiritual walk, but what had caused it? She missed the days when Sierra had been full of godly passion, when she’d taken a stand with her high school friends, when she’d begged to go on mission trips.
If anything, Sierra should be seeking God’s help now. She should be feeling anxious with no job in sight. But no, worry was Annie’s territory. Sierra would smother the negative emotions with fun, fun, and more fun.
Annie got in her truck and turned the key, looking heavenward. “I’m trying, Gramps, but it’s harder than I ever figured. Way harder.”
“I don’t see the problem.” Sierra handed Annie the paper and forked her last bite of salad. “Tell her to give the guy the boot.”
Outside the patio door Ryder let out a squeal as he descended the slide.
Annie stared at her sister. “It’s not that simple.”
“Sure it is. He cheated on her.”
“They have a child.”
“Well, they’re not married yet. If she leaves him now, it’ll save her the trouble of divorcing him later.”
“You know God hates divorce.”
“He also gives permission in the case of adultery. And if she marries him, that’s what’ll happen.”
Sierra had a point. Still . . .
“Just because we have permission doesn’t mean we should.” They were getting off subject. Annie shook her head. “You have to consider that there’s a child involved. He’s sorry, and he still wants to marry her.”
“So he says. Look, once a cheater, always a cheater. Isn’t that what Mom always said?”
“Mom was married four times.”
Sierra rolled her eyes. “Life isn’t like your Jane Austen novels, Annie. Times have changed. Women don’t have to put up with that stuff, nor should we. If she lets him off the hook this time, he’ll just do it again.”
Sierra seemed so sure, but Annie still didn’t know. How could she advise a woman to break up with the father of her child when she wasn’t certain? What if she steered the reader wrong?
“Why did Midge have to give me this one on my first try?”
“I’m telling you, it’s clear-cut. Betrayed in Billings already knows what to do—she just needs you to tell her she’s right so she can find the courage to do it.”
Annie frowned at the letter. “I didn’t get that at all.”
“It’s in the subtext.”
She read it again. “Or maybe she’s trying to find the courage to forgive him and only needs to hear me say it.”
Sierra shook her head. “If you don’t believe me, ask Shay.”
Maybe she should. “Or maybe I’ll just pray about it.”
“When’s it due?”
“This Wednesday. Midge wants to avoid a lapse.” She’d already written a note to the readers for her last horse column.
“Well, you still have time to mull it over—not that I think you need to.”
Annie took her dishes to the sink and rinsed her bowl. “Olivia asked about you at church.” Shay and Travis’s daughter adored Sierra.
“She’s a sweetheart. She always asks me how I fix my hair and where I get my clothes.”
“She looks up to you.” Unspoken message: pull it together or you’ll lead a little girl astray.
“I’ll finish those,” Sierra said, ignoring her hint altogether. “You should go for a ride. The weather’s gorgeous.”
“I think I might. Pepper’s probably forgotten who I am.”
“You don’t forget the one who feeds you.”
A few minutes later Annie headed out the front door and toward the barn. Pepper nickered softly as she approached the pen. The Arabian was mostly white, with tiny flecks of gray. When her grandfather had presented him for her fifteenth birthday, he’d said it looked as if God had shaken some pepper over him. The name had stuck.
Annie finished saddling the horse and struck out toward her friend’s pasture. Shay and Travis McCoy had a huge spread, doubly so since they’d married and joined properties the year before. Shay had told her she was welcome anytime, and since her own property was so small, Annie took her up on it regularly.
She nudged Pepper to a canter and felt the wind take her shoulder-length hair. It tugged at her shirt and smacked her cool cheeks. She gave the horse his head, and he galloped across rolling green hills toward a ridge that dipped down to a bubbling creek.
They rode as one, their bodies moving together effortlessly. It reminded Annie of the way Shay and Travis had danced in tandem the weekend before. Much as she loved her horse, she couldn’t help thinking it would be nice to share that kind of easy harmony with a man someday . . .
John Oakley sprang to mind then, and the sinking feeling that accompanied the thought of him did nothing to buoy her spirits. Maybe she had been reading too many romance novels. Or maybe God wanted her to remain forever single, like Paul in the Bible. She hoped not. She was hardly old at twenty-four, but she felt much older.
Lord, I hope there’s someone out there for me, she prayed as the sun dipped behind the clouds. Between keeping Sierra on the right track and my financial struggles, I feel like I’m carrying the world on my shoulders. And this new column isn’t helping. Show me what to tell this woman. I don’t want to steer her wrong.
She rode and prayed until Pepper grew winded, then she headed back to the barn, dismounted, and unsaddled the horse. Pepper’s sides heaved, but she could tell he was happy by his high head and tail, by the way his ears turned forward.
Annie patted his withers, then scratched along his neck and back. He accommodated by stretching, then grunted his pleasure.
Normally, riding cleared her head, and she returned soothed and refreshed. This time she felt no better than before, despite her prayers.
She remembered what Midge had said about needing to be decisive. But Annie had never been decisive when it came to relationships. She could see both sides of an issue. It was the reason she’d constantly been in the middle, first between Sierra and their mom, and then between Sierra and their grandpa after their mom had passed. Annie was the perfect buffer, but it wasn’t a role she enjoyed.
Midge was right, however. She couldn’t be wishy-washy or readers wouldn’t want her advice. It had been easy with “Ask Avery.” There was a right way to train a horse and a wrong way, and Annie had the knowledge and experience to make that call.
Maybe she should take Sierra’s advice and ask Shay for help. Her friend had managed to find love, after all. But Shay was busy with two kids and a prospering ranch, and Annie hated asking favors of friends.
She was just going to have to figure it out herself. But how was she supposed to have the answers for everyone else’s love life when she had nothing but questions about her own?