Annie studied her family. She was so grateful to be back here in their fold where she felt safe. For the first time in years, she could almost say she was happy.
Almost. Although Annie had healed from her scars and her fears grew less over the last two years, there was one part of her that hadn’t recovered. It never would. She had admitted it two weeks ago because that part had nothing to do with her marriage.
Her heart fluttered as she remembered what happened at the charity event. Memories of that kiss now replaced the horror memories of two years ago. That kiss, and the other memories of years ago, before everything went pear-shaped, were what stayed with her at night before she fell asleep. It stayed with her each time she and Marcus were in the same room.
For two years she avoided Marcus, but after that kiss it was futile. She was aware of him, seeing how he watched her, and she had a feeling that Marcus was only biding his time to act. She sure as hell did not know where it was going, but it was putting her on edge. Could she dare let him close again?
Annie’s eyes searched for Maddie. Her little girl and Cody were inseparable as usual, and, as usual, they had both found a place on Marcus’ lap.
Annie had to fight back the tears that threatened. They looked so perfect together, almost like a happy family.
She hated these emotions. She had been fighting it the last two weeks since that kiss. It made her feel vulnerable, and she had promised herself not to feel susceptible ever again.
Annie had mentioned it to the therapist she had seen, and although she hated the feelings, her therapist had seen it as a breakthrough, but Annie didn’t want to feel like this.
When she spoke to the therapist, Annie realised she only started to feel like that after the Charity Ball. They had discussed it in-depth, and Annie concluded that it was because the whole family had been together at that function for the first time in thirteen years. It was not the real truth, but Annie was not ready to admit that yet.
Annie had accepted then that the part of her that would never heal had nothing to do with her marriage. That part was something Annie had hidden for thirteen years. The man who now so lovingly held her daughter caused the scar that had never faded. She still wanted to hate him, but she couldn’t do it when she saw he treated Maddie and his sons the same.
Her eyes drifted to his handsome face. Why couldn’t he be ugly or something? Why must he still make her feel things she should not consider?
Tiny lines were visible around Marcus’ eyes and a smile curled around the corners of his full lips while he listened to the two children’s chatter.
Marcus looked up and caught her eyes on him and their children. It looked like he stilled and then he frowned. He often did when he looked at her. Most of the time, it didn’t bother Annie. Tonight, however, it did—more than usual. She couldn’t understand it.
Annie couldn’t hide her emotions for much longer and fled through the open doors of the veranda.
Maddie was safe with Marcus.
Annie wasn’t.
Marcus had always seen more than the rest of the family. She had worked hard all these years to grow stronger, and Marcus was the last one she wanted to see her sudden vulnerability.
Her feet almost automatically found the way in the dimly lit garden to the gazebo, tucked away in the corner a distance from the house.
It had been her safe place growing up. Annie hoped that the rest of the family had forgotten that it had been her favourite place.
Before Marcus broke her heart, Annie always found solace there. Afterwards, she avoided the gazebo and the Hideout in particular. There were too many memories attached to both places.
By the time she sank on the cushion-covered bench, tears were streaming down her cheeks. Here in the dark, where no one could hear her, Annie cried for the first time since that summer so long ago. She cried about her broken marriage, her fears, at a love that would never be hers, long-forgotten dreams and scars that would never heal.
Sobs racked her body—loud, angry sobs. So loud, that Annie didn’t hear the footsteps until she felt the arms encircling her. How did she know it was Marcus, without even looking? She recognised his touch and his smell, something so uniquely Marcus. It scared her.
She felt him take a shuddering breath and his arms tightened around her. Then she heard his soothing words. His hands moving over her back in comforting strokes, calmed her. Annie couldn’t understand it. Wasn’t he the reason for her tears?
It was his whispered, “It’s fine, Annie-Baby, let it out. It will feel better afterwards,” which helped Annie to cry as she should’ve done years ago. The therapist encouraged her to do so, but Annie had refused. She thought if she cried, her ex-husband would’ve won. She had refused to be weak ever again and crying was a sign of weakness in Annie’s opinion. It had been her opinion until two weeks ago.
Without realising it, her arms slid around Marcus’ waist, and Annie cried. She didn’t know for how long but the sobs subsided, and Annie lay spent against Marcus’ chest while his hands and voice still soothed her.
It surprised her. Marcus was the one who had hurt her the most, but he now made her feel safe for the first time in years. She always belonged here as if she fitted in Marcus’ arms. She didn’t want to move.
At that moment, Annie accepted that her days being Anne-Marie was over. She was now just Annie again. Where she thought she would hate being Annie, it didn’t. It made her feel whole. She had healed.
Marcus didn’t seem in any hurry, so Annie stayed where she was. That was until Marcus took a shuddering breath. Annie lifted her head and looked up at Marcus. There was no sign of the scowl now. In the dim light coming from the hidden garden lights, Annie could see the tenderness on his face. Marcus tried to mask it, but Annie had seen it.
She stood still when he used his thumb to wipe the tears from her cheeks, too scared that if she moved, he would stop. Annie kept her eyes on his face, and Marcus stopped his ministrations. He groaned, and before Annie realised his intentions, Marcus had captured her mouth in a hungry kiss. Annie’s reaction was instinctive. She kissed him back with the same hunger, pouring the longing of thirteen lonely years into that kiss. She kissed Marcus as she had wanted to for so long.
They had to breathe, and they broke apart, taking deep, ragged breaths. Annie came to her senses, realising what she had done. She kissed the man who had broken her heart. She shouldn’t have allowed it, no matter how right it felt.
Before Marcus could react, Annie pushed him away. She turned and fled, entering the house through the side door. At least she encountered no one before she could slip into the guest bathroom to repair the damage caused by Marcus’ kiss and her crying bout.
Annie stared at her kiss-swollen lips and messy hair in the mirror. Anyone would know what happened. Her fingers reached for her lips, remembering the feel and taste of Marcus.
Annie's fingers trembled. She didn’t know what to make of Marcus’ kiss and his sudden attention. How was she going to deal with Marcus now? She thought she hated him. That kiss right now proved Annie she was wrong. For the first time in thirteen years, Annie was honest with herself.
That kiss proved that she still loved him.
Marcus?
Annie didn’t know. She should remember his words then and what he had done. She should remind herself that Marcus had never loved her. He couldn’t have done what he did if he had cared about her.
It was no use brooding over it now. Others might look for her. She washed her face, then took out her younger sister’s emergency repair kit she kept in here. Mackenzie was always rushing around and had repair kits hidden all over the estate. Tonight Annie appreciated that.
When she finished, she contemplated her reflection in the mirror. She might look normal, but she felt far from it. It would take her a long time to get over that kiss.
When she returned to the lounge, nobody had noticed she had been missing. The only one who had looked up when she entered was Marcus. Their eyes held each other.
Both were oblivious that Anna had seen that look.
Annie turned away to speak to Nathan. She thought she had been pre-occupied, but her older brother had been even more so these last few days. Annie had an idea it had all to do with Meghan Carstens, the dark-haired fashion designer who visited Blue Mountain over the summer. Annie frowned when she realised that Nathan had not mentioned Meghan the last couple of days.
At least talking to her older brother helped Annie not to look at Marcus. Or not too often. She could not help it, but her eyes still drifted to where he was now sitting on the couch with Cody and Maddie. He was reading to them, but both kids were almost asleep. Maddie had slid down with her head on his lap.
Annie had no choice. She needed to get Maddie to bed, so she had to go close to Marcus again.
She guessed she was not the only one who still felt the effect of that kiss. When Annie bent down to slide her arms under Maddie, her hand brushed against his thigh. She heard him inhale and looked up at him.
She shouldn’t have, because Marcus fixed his eyes on her mouth before it slid up to meet hers. She flushed when she saw the heat in his eyes. She didn’t have to guess where Marcus’ thoughts were. Hers was at the same place.
Annie whispered, “Thank you,” before she picked Maddie up and fled with a good night directed to the room, conscious of Marcus’ eye glued to her back.