“I love you.”
Annie sat still, her eyes fixed on the paper in front of her. For the past hour had doodled instead of working. Had she said the words aloud? It would not surprise her. Her mind was not on her work today. Most of the morning, she gazed out of the window, watching the birds playing hide-and-seek with each other in the trees.
Annie looked down at the paper she had to edit and flushed when she read what she had doodled. Yep. There it was. “I love you.”
She shook her head. You wouldn’t believe that she was thirty-one. Who would have thought she would moon over her husband now just like she had done as a love-sick teenager?
Would she ever have a chance to tell him that? Annie hoped so because it took all her effort to lay next to him in bed every night, when he held her so gently after they had made love, not to blurt out the words.
It scared her to repeat it now. She remembered how many times she had told him that when they had their summer fling, and how many times he had said it too, then it all turned into a lie.
“I said, I love you.”
Annie’s head shot up. Marcus was standing in the doorway, his eyes fixed on her and realised it wasn’t she who had said the words, but him.
He was watching her as if he was waiting for her answer. Then Annie shocked the living daylights out of herself when she burst into tears. She could see him sigh, disappointment flashing over his face, his shoulder sagging, “That was not the response I had hoped for.”
The next moment he left. Annie could hear his footsteps clattering down the stairs. She had to stop him, and Annie jumped up.
She didn’t get far, though. She felt lightheaded and grabbed the side of the table to keep her upright. A bout of nausea so intense that Annie did not make it to the bathroom, followed the dizzy feeling. She grabbed the dustbin and got rid of her lunch. When she sagged back down on the floor, she could hear the roar of Marcus’ Landrover speeding down the driveway.
She took a long time before she felt well enough to clean the bin, but it had her almost gagging again. She splashed her face and rinsed her mouth before she fell on the bed into a fitful sleep.
Her phone woke her up two hours later. Annie blinked when she noticed that it was after six. Her mum did not wait for Annie to say anything before she demanded, “Why haven’t you picked up the kids?”
“I’m sorry, but I fell asleep. Is Marcus not there?”
“No, he went to Twin Peaks. He said he didn’t know what time he would be back,” her mum explained.
Disappointment rushed through her. She had hoped that she could speak to Marcus tonight, but it seemed she wouldn’t get her chance.
“I’ll be down in a few minutes. I’m sorry,” Annie managed.
“No need. Melanie said she’ll drop them off. They had eaten. I’ll send you a plate of food.”
Just the mention of food caused Annie’s tummy to roll again, and she said, “Please, no. It’s unnecessary. I’ll just have something later.”
“Are you okay, Annie?” her mum asked, concerned.
“Yes, I’m fine,” Annie lied.
Annie took a deep breath. It had been five weeks since she and Marcus had made love for the first time, and today she couldn’t deny it anymore. She recognised the signs.
This morning the doctor confirmed it.
She rubbed over her tummy, thinking about the baby that grew inside her.
She had hoped Marcus would repeat the words, but he had avoided her in the last few days. He either worked in his study or went to the Cellars after the kids went to bed. Marcus only came to bed after Annie was asleep, and when she woke up, he wasn’t there. He didn’t look at her, and if he did, he seemed wary.
She hoped he would’ve told her he loved her again so she could respond.
How would Marcus feel about the baby?
He would love this child, without a doubt, but she couldn’t help to worry. The words in that diary haunted her. When she woke up this morning, it was on the bedside table. She was a woman, and she was nosy, so she read it.
This morning’s nausea was not only because of the pregnancy. What Annie read was heartbreaking, and her heart went out to Marcus.
She now knew she hadn’t been the only one who got hurt by Linda and Kent’s actions, but never, not once, had Marcus told anyone what happened in his marriage. Did he carry his burden alone all these years?
“You’re pregnant.”
Annie looked up, shocked. Her mother was regarding her with such a soft smile that Annie burst into tears.
Damn, pregnancy hormones.
Her mother stood up from behind her desk, picking up the box of tissues along the way. Annie grabbed a tissue from the box and rubbed away the tears. Her mum’s arms slid around her and against her mother’s chest, Annie cried the tears she had been holding for the last few days.
“Aren’t you happy about the baby?” Anne asked.
“I am,” Annie hiccupped.
“And Marcus? I take it he is the father?” Anne probed again.
Annie’s head shot up, “Of course he is the father!”
“So is he not happy about the baby?”
Annie took a deep breath and exhaled before she answered, “He doesn’t know. Not yet, anyway. I only found out this morning for certain. I don’t know how he’ll feel about the baby.”
“Well, knowing Marcus, he’ll be ecstatic,” Anna encouraged.
Annie looked up and asked, “Did you know that Marcus was unhappy in his marriage?”
Anna sighed and nodded, “Yes, but Marcus never spoke about it, and we didn’t want to interfere. We therefore still don’t know what occurred in their home when they were alone.”
“He is such a proud man. He carried his burden alone all these years. And now I also hurt him. He’s hardly talking to me. He had been avoiding me the last few days, spending his time at Twin Peaks or the cellars.”
Anna frowned, “I had wondered about that. You looked happy the last few weeks, and now you are both so withdrawn.”
Annie flushed. “It’s my fault, and I don’t know how to fix it, Mum.”
“Annie?”
Annie looked up through her tears. Her mother still looked as sympathetic as earlier when she said, “Give Marcus a chance. He had loved you for so long…”
Annie burst into tears again. “I know, he told me, and I didn’t respond. Or not as he expected me to, I guess.”
Annie told her mother what had happened three days ago. When she finished, her mother leaned back and studied her face, urging, “Tell him how you feel. Tell him about the baby.” And then added with a little laugh, “Seduce your husband.”
Annie’s mouth dropped open, “Mum!”
“What? How do you think Marc and I got together? Marcus takes after his father,” Anna laughed. “Stubborn as hell and scared to show his emotions. He thought you didn’t feel the same, and that’s why he pulled back. Please, Annie, don’t throw away this chance of happiness. You and Marcus deserve it.”
Anna turned away to pick up her bag, “I’ll pick the kids up at four.”
Annie didn’t argue with her mother, because Anna left, leaving her daughter with her thoughts. Not that she wanted to argue because she knew her Mum was right. After she read the diary, she didn’t doubt that Marcus would welcome this baby.
Annie put her hands on her belly, rubbing it, warmth spreading over her. She and Marcus deserved this chance of happiness.
She didn’t want to live with Marcus like this forever. She wanted more. She wanted those things they dreamed of years ago.
It would be up to her then to take the first step. Annie glanced at the clock and smiled. She still had time.