Scott stacked logs on the grate, threading in kindling to catch on the embers below. He couldn’t believe he’d let the fire burn down. Maintaining the fire was second nature to him, but because his night with Marissa had stretched so late, he’d overslept and almost frozen them both. He blew gently on the glowing embers, coaxing a tiny flame to weave through the kindling and curl into the bark. He tended the fire until it began to hiss and pop as the sap ignited and crackled.
He pulled the wood smoke into his lungs, trying to replace Marissa’s soft jasmine scent, but it stayed with him like a tattoo. He had her on his hands and his body and his lips. He wanted to ask her to stay, but she wanted to leave as soon as possible. But he wasn’t ready for her to go. He wanted more, to figure out why she was such an intriguing mix of timid rules and sensual curiosity in bed, to learn where she wanted her life to go from here.
She wanted to move on down the road. He got that much. He shook his head, but he doubted he could clear it with her still here. He wanted her to stay and she couldn’t wait to run from him. He pushed up from the hearth and stood, brushing the wood and ash from his jeans.
“Scott?” She stood in his bedroom doorway wearing his flannel with the sleeves rolled up, his wool socks slouching on her bare legs. “What did I say?”
“Nothing, but if you’re not going to wear pants you should stay in bed.” Across the room their gazes snapped together so perfectly he didn’t even want to blink. He’d thought last night had changed something, but that must be only in his head.
“I can tell something’s going on. Are you disappointed about something?”
“I suppose.” He had no right to be. She’d been honest about going back as soon as she could. He just didn’t want her to. He crossed to the entry and sat on the bench to pull on his boots.
“Because I didn’t want to . . .” She worried her bottom lip and looked everywhere but at him.
“What are you talking about?”
She huffed a breath and stared at the ceiling.
His gut clenched because if she started to cry he had no idea what to do. Did he hold her and stay with her or let her have some space?
Finally she met his gaze and nodded matter-of-factly. She stretched out her arms and shrugged. “Blow jobs make me puke. There, I said it. I gag and I throw up and it’s just a huge mess. And I’ve seen your cock. There is no way I won’t choke on that.”
He couldn’t help the smile, and when she sighed like she’d lifted the weight of the world off her shoulders he had to laugh.
“I’m not making it up. I can choke just brushing my teeth.” She placed her hands on her hips and his shirt splayed open. She hadn’t bothered with the top half of the buttons.
“Well, that sucks.” Damn. He was an idiot. “Okay, poor choice of words. Do you have some kind of special toothbrush to keep that from happening?”
Her eyes widened like he’d started speaking Greek. “I use a kid’s toothbrush.”
“Do you have it with you?” He pulled on his coat, but decided against the hat and gloves. He wouldn’t be out long.
“Yeah, always. I don’t want you to be upset thinking I don’t want to. I really can’t.”
He stomped his heel into his boot. “You honestly think that would matter? You must really think highly of me.”
“It seemed to matter. I couldn’t reciprocate, and you shut down. The two go together.”
“That’s not what happened. I thought when you saw the snow, you’d want you to stay for a while. But you want to get out of here as fast as humanly possible.”
“You know I don’t live here.”
“But I do.” He held her stare until she dropped hers to the floor.
“Last night you said you wanted to move past that so things wouldn’t be awkward between us, and now we’ve . . .” She circled her hands in the air like that explained everything. “Now things are more awkward than before.”
No, it was the same old awkward of him wanting her and her not being available. He shook his head. “I need coffee before I can talk about this. And that isn’t going to happen if I don’t get the generator started.”
The ringing of the phone halted their conversation. Her big blue eyes widened as she looked at him. “Our cell phones are working.”
“Landline.” He answered the handset by the door.
“Oh, good, you guys are okay!” Tanya spoke so loud he had to hold the phone away from his ear.
“Yeah, Tanya, we’re fine.” He tilted his head toward his bedroom and covered the receiver. “There’s a phone on my nightstand.” Marissa picked up the extension seconds later and he hung up, letting the girls talk about whatever.
He needed to focus on what he could control. He pushed open the front door, dry snow swirling in the wind. It had already blanketed the first two steps in a fine powder, nothing he couldn’t kick aside with his boot.
As he worked he tried to figure out what Marissa had that he couldn’t shake. So honest and vulnerable one minute, and then strong and capable the next. It fascinated him, always had. He wanted to shield her from the harm, keep her safe with him and away from people who took advantage of her. A heart that sincere gave him hope that maybe, if she’d only listen to it, they might have a chance for more than a memory.
“Isn’t the snow beautiful?” Tanya’s enthusiasm came through the line. “The photographer is stuck here too, so we’re going to do another session with her in the snow.”
“There’s snow down there?” She’d been hoping maybe they’d been hit by a freak storm and if they only drove down the mountain it would clear.
“Snow and ice. They’ve closed the highway in both directions, which means everyone gets to stay an extra day.”
Wasn’t that just fantastic. “When are they opening the highway?”
“I think it’s either too early to tell, or the news is saving that bit for the noon edition. Christa feels awful about getting you trapped up there at Scott’s place. I let her go ahead and feel guilty because she shouldn’t have talked you out of your hotel room. She’s entertaining as all hell, but she can be such a pain in the ass.”
“She didn’t talk me out of it, she locked me out.” A strange buzzing sound started up outside. Marissa swung the coiled phone cord back and forth. She couldn’t remember when she’d last seen a phone like this. A sitcom maybe.
“How are you and Scott getting along?”
“Fine. We got in late and then woke up to this mess.” Best to gloss right on over the naked parts. Tanya would never believe it anyway. She could barely believe it herself.
“I’ve always thought he had a little crush on you. Every few months he asks how you’re doing, what you’re up to. He’s a nice guy, hon. You could do worse—hell, you have.”
“Gee, thanks.” The light in Scott’s bathroom flickered on and the alarm clock next to the phone began to blink. The front door opened and closed, Scott shuffling around in the kitchen. “Don’t waste your time playing matchmaker. I live in Portland, remember?”
“You don’t have to live in the same town as the person you’re sleeping with. Matt and I didn’t when he first got transferred. Long-distance relationships can work if you work at them.”
“I don’t have to worry about that because I’m never going to have one.” Some people had that kind of trust, but Chris had taken that with him when he left. He’d done his hooking up when he was out of town for games or camps or meetings. Maybe there were even trips specifically for sex, for all the things she couldn’t, or wouldn’t, do.
“Dating would be easier for you here. In the city the guys in flannel are hipsters who only drink organic coffee. The men here are more that strong, rugged thing you go for.”
Scott certainly was. But she didn’t think he had any intention of moving. “There are plenty of guys in Portland. You always said that. And there, I have a job and an apartment I need to get back to.”
“I know. I’m still paying my half of the rent until the lease is up. Have you decided if you’re moving or getting a roommate?”
She didn’t want to do either. She’d interviewed a few potential roommates since Tanya moved out here in the summer, but they all came with issues she didn’t want to deal with. Like the one with a snake that ate live rats, or the nocturnal musician. She cleared her throat and changed the subject. “Did the news say when they expected the storm to be over?”
“Wednesday night it’s going to turn into freezing rain. They were calling for a storm, but nothing like this. Though the resort manager said snow has hit the area in October before.”
“Are you sure you want to live inside this snow globe?”
“Our mortgage payment is barely more than my half of the rent in the city. Plus, my job here is so much better. I’m not a cog in the corporate wheel anymore; I actually get to do more than shuffle paperwork. Speaking of which, I’m going to list an event coordinator position when we get back from skiing.”
“I doubt I’m qualified. I’ve only been an assistant for three years. I need at least five until I start searching for the next step.”
“You always said if I found the perfect job I should let you know. Besides you’ve never lived by a time line before. You skipped your senior year of high school and got your degree in three years. This is the same thing. Plus, I can talk you up, and brag on how you saved our rehearsal dinner. I have your résumé on my computer from the last time I helped you update it, so I’ll slip it to the hiring manager and I won’t even have to be bothered with posting the job. You’d be doing me a favor.”
“I think marriage has made you loopy. Why would I want to live in a place where I could get trapped by snow?”
“Because I’m here and you love me. And I hoped Scott might help me out with the convincing, but apparently not. Did you meet Matt’s friend Eddie? They play basketball together at the gym. It’s much easier for me to set you up on dates when we’re in the same town.”
She cringed. Tanya had the worst track record ever with setups. “Right now I’m going to focus on work and figure out my living situation. I don’t want to deal with dating.”
“I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t go a month without sex, let alone years.”
She lowered her voice to a whisper. “I have sex. Just not all the time like you.”
“Please, I lived with you for more than two years. You never get laid. That’s why you’re wound so tight. I’d tell you to go have a fling, but you are a monogamy girl. Which is why you need to be dating so you can find a boyfriend and have sex and relax and not have to be so perfect all the time.”
“Your logic is skewed by a fresh case of marital bliss, which I’m going to let you get back to because I need to ask Scott when he can take me back to the lodge.”
“Did you not hear me about the snow and the closed highway? That’s why I called as soon as I found out where you were. I don’t think you’re leaving there for a few days at least. It’s supposed to snow for a few more days, and then the cleanup focuses on the main roads and works its way out. You might not get down the mountain for a week.”
“I have to be at work on Tuesday.” She closed her eyes and her heart went heavy. If she couldn’t leave she’d have to talk to Scott about what happened. And he made her feel all the things she didn’t want to deal with, all the things that had clouded her judgment before.
“Good thing you have so much vacation time banked. I don’t think you’ll make it back this week, let alone in to work. But don’t worry, Scott’s the person I call for help, and you already have him. If it makes you feel better I can sneak carbs into Christa’s breakfast as penance for keeping you from your beloved job.”
“I think getting stuck with Jerry is punishment enough. Did she tell you if he’s still—”
“The two-pump chump? Apparently he can double that now. She thinks that’s a good thing, poor kid.”
Marissa let herself laugh at Christa’s love life, Tanya’s snark, and her own ridiculous predicament. She’d find a way out of this mess, she always did. After all, once you’ve been stood up at the altar in front of everyone you’ve ever known, you learned to play the hand you are dealt.
Scott beat the hell out of the eggs. He hadn’t been eavesdropping, but the ceiling of the cabin made a voice carry. When the whole family got together it was so loud you could barely carry on a conversation. But now, in the quiet stillness of a snowstorm, every word Marissa said came to him as if she were sitting at the dining table.
Nothing came as a surprise. He knew she had a job to get back to and wanted to get away from the snow. She didn’t want a relationship and any minute now she would come out here and ask him to take her back to the lodge. Everything in him wanted to keep her right here. If she left now, she’d never be back.
The eggs sizzled as he poured them in the pan. He made the same breakfast nearly every morning, but he had no idea what she usually ate, how she took her coffee. And he wanted to. Needed to. That way if he couldn’t convince her to stay he wouldn’t be left with so many what-ifs.
What if he’d tried to convince her she could do better than Chris? What if he’d told her about Chris’s cheating sooner? What if he’d wrapped his arms around her the day he and Matt returned her things from Chris’s place? What if he’d knocked on her door and asked her to coffee the way he’d thought about ever since Matt started dating Tanya?
None of it would have worked, but the what-ifs stayed with him anyway. He’d always thought she was intelligent and caring, the kind of woman you built your life around. She wasn’t even the girlfriend type. You married a woman like her, one you wanted more the more she gave you. And it wasn’t even about desire, it was a deeper kind of longing.
He shook his head and realized whom he sounded like. His grandfather spoke of his grandmother like she’d hung the moon and placed the stars and without her he was adrift. He never got over her death, pined away until he joined her forty years later.
Scott knew he couldn’t do that. There were things he wanted out of life that wouldn’t allow him to wonder forever about the one who got away. He either had a few hours or a few days to show her how sensational they could be together. And if she couldn’t see that, well, she wasn’t as crazy smart as he thought.
Marissa leaned against the smooth wood column at the entrance to the small kitchen. She’d thought about offering to help, but there wasn’t room for more than one person, and the view from here took her breath away. Scott moved about the kitchen with practiced ease, making toast, scrambling eggs, pouring coffee. And he did it in old jeans, worn and faded and perfectly molded to his ass.
She wanted to reach out and grab it, the urge shocking her because she didn’t do things like that. She respected a man for his character, not the way his toned ass would feel in her hands as he pushed his cock in deep.
She gasped and pressed her hand to her throat. She needed to stop thinking about sex. So what if he’d given her more orgasms in one night than she’d managed for herself all year. She’d been caught up in it last night and they’d wound up arguing this morning. If she had to be here for the better part of a week, she’d rather not be battling him.
Especially when she could be enjoying everything he had on offer. She crossed one leg in front of the other and squeezed her thighs together. She’d done it again, let her libido lead her straight into temptation.
He turned around with two plates in his hands, his brows rising in surprise. “I thought you were still on the phone.”
“Tanya said the highway is closed in both directions. When do you think it will open back up?”
“Right after it stops snowing.” He walked past her and set the plates on the table. “Coffee, juice, or milk?”
“Coffee. I don’t suppose you have cream?”
He grinned, his smile growing wider as his gaze dripped down her body and then he licked his lips.
Her breath caught, as if he were devouring her right here without even touching her.
He gave her a wink, then headed back into the kitchen, returning with the pot of coffee and a carton of cream.
“What was that just now?” She squeezed her inner muscles, willing herself to focus on important things like breathing and eating and the ability to speak.
“You mean with the cream?” He sat on the bench at the long side of the table.
She nodded. How she could possibly eat when he’d gotten her so flustered?
“It’s dirty.” He braced his hands on his thighs and leaned toward where she stood. “You don’t want to know.”
“I think I do.” Her voice seemed lower, smoother. She didn’t know how he could possibly think she could eat when he focused on her like he was starving and she was his next meal.
“Okay, I’ll answer your question if you answer mine.” He waited for her to nod before continuing. “You asked if I had cream and I thought, Yeah, I got plenty of cream from you this morning.”
She drew in a sharp breath, her eyes widening. She shouldn’t like it when he talked like that. But she did, and his brilliant smile said he knew it.
“Told you it was dirty.” He gripped the front of her shirt and pulled her forward, her steps faltering as he brought her between his spread legs. With two fingers he traced a line from her chin, down her neck, and over her chest until they caught on a button of the flannel. “Now I want to know why you didn’t button your shirt. Because ever since you put it on I can’t stop thinking how if I just do this.” He pushed apart the halves on the shirt, exposing her breasts. “Then I can do this.” He leaned forward and gave one of her nipples a long, slow lick.
“What are you doing to me?” she whispered, desire swirling deep within. He flicked his tongue against her nipple and her knees threatened to buckle, so she grabbed his shoulders and held on. He cupped a breast in each hand and squeezed, a heaviness swirling deep inside.
“That’s not an answer.” He rubbed his thumbs over the tips of her breasts.
“I forgot the question.”
“Why didn’t you button your shirt? Did you want me to play with you like this?”
“Yes,” she hissed, pressing into his hands. “Wait, no, it just happened. I didn’t want this.”
“You don’t want this?” He leaned closer, scratching his stubble across one nipple and then the other.
Her sex clenched and she caught his gaze, the heat in his green eyes stealing the air from her lungs. She’d never seen such passion focused on her. The want in his gaze was more than she could take. Her breath was as shaky as her legs as she gazed down at him and admitted what she’d been trying to hide.
“I want you inside me. Here. Now.”
His only response was a tilt of his head and that sly grin.
Maybe he hadn’t heard her. She needed to show him. Ride him right here on the bench. She reached for his jeans. He released her breasts and grabbed her hands, holding them out and away from his body.
“Hey, not like this. Breakfast, shower, talk, and then if you want to spend the rest of your time here in my bed making love with me, I’m game.”
She blinked, almost too shocked to speak. “You don’t want—”
“Oh, I want. More than you know. You’ve wanted me for six minutes, but I’ve wanted you for six years, so we’re going to wait. The first time I’m inside you isn’t going to be bending you over my dining table.” He lifted his coffee mug and took a slow sip. “Your breakfast is getting cold.”
She shook her head, her pussy starting to ache in frustration. Her entire body prickled with the heat of a blush. “I can’t eat like this. I don’t even think I could sit down right now.”
“You want me to make you come so you can eat?” His eyes darkened with passion, drawing her closer.
“I don’t think the two go together.”
“You need to keep your energy up. Come here.”
He gripped her hips, then helped her straddle his lap, her legs outside his and hanging off the back of the bench. She tried to inch closer to ride the ridge of his erection, straining against his jeans, but he slipped his hand between them and cupped her mound.
“You’re too sensitive right now. The denim might hurt you and I have plans for you later.” He slid his fingers along her slick folds, that evil grin playing on his lips again. “You feel so good like this, so wet and ready.”
She gripped his shoulders as he found her clit, his thumb rubbing back and forth, back and forth. He slipped a finger inside her and she moaned, her hips starting to move in time with his hand. He added another finger and she let her head fall back as the pleasure spiraled closer and closer. He pressed in a third finger and her breath caught, her pussy clamping down tight. She rocked against him and she could hear it, the sound of his fingers on her, in her.
“Come on, sugar, you’re almost there.”
“It’s just so thick.” She lifted her head to watch his face as the world blurred around the edges.
That grin, it would be her undoing. “So am I.”
He pressed harder, deeper. Her legs straightened, her tummy tensing as he drew the orgasm from her. Her walls spasmed around him, pleasure pulsing with each shudder. She wrapped her arms around him and held on as she gave in to the release.
He gripped the hair at the nape of her neck and pulled her head off his shoulder to look at him. “You’re beautiful, but you are absolutely stunning when you come.”
He kissed her then, hard and demanding. As his tongue tangled with hers she knew he’d changed his mind and would take her right here, right now. But too soon he pulled away, and reached for his coffee.
“Do you want cream in yours?”
“I don’t think I’ll ever be able to hear you say ‘cream’ again without thinking of sex.” She smoothed her hair and tucked it behind her ears. “How can you go back to your breakfast like nothing happened?”
“I’m so hungry I’m about to eat cold eggs. If you really don’t want to eat, you should take the first shower.” He helped her off him and into the chair at the end of the table. She carefully sat on the flannel because if the dampness on his jeans was any indication, her pussy was sloppy with her juices.
“I thought we’d shower together.” She leaned closer, running her hand up his hard thigh.
“I don’t trust myself if we’re both naked.” He turned his eggs and toast into a sandwich and took a bite.
“That’s kind of the point.”
“It will be worth the wait, sugar.” He crossed his ankle over his opposite thigh, blocking her access.
“You want me to shower by myself?”
He nodded, then swallowed before turning to her. “Shower and get dressed. I’d appreciate if you covered up as much as possible because your body is just . . .” He grunted like a caveman.
“See, that makes me want to come down here naked.”
“Any other time, I’d be game for that.” He finished his sandwich and then stood.
“Now you’re making me not want to have this conversation.”
“To be honest I don’t want to have it either, but we need to.” He tilted her chin to look at him. “I’ll shower in my room and you shower upstairs since that’s where your things are. And then we’ll meet back here. Okay?”
Marissa nodded and smiled as she watched his tight ass walk away, though she had no intention of letting him run whatever conversation he wanted to have. The last thing she wanted to do was talk, especially after their exchange this morning. It had upset them both and solved nothing. They really ought to stick to what they were good at. Making jokes and having sex. Except they hadn’t had sex, technically.
They needed to take the leap and hold on tight. At least until the snow melted.