Chapter 12

Happy Hour

Crocktails

It all started with what’s left at the bottom of the crock, which in large crocks can be a lot of brine. At first we fed it to the pig, but the brine was so delicious and frankly the pig didn’t even like it; so we began to take it to the market to distribute one shot at a time.

We spent so much time joking about slinging back shots that it was only a matter of time before we thought about using brine as a mixer in cocktails. Before the word was even out of our mouths, somebody yelled out, “Crocktails” — of course.

Clockwise from top

The brine from pickling shredded vegetables is pure vegetable juice. Remember, this liquid is achieved by shredding your vegetables, often cabbage, and through the further breaking down of the cells with salt and pressing. When these concentrated vegetable juices undergo fermentation, they become a rich cloudy elixir containing not only the properties of the vegetable but increased vitamins C and B along with the additional beneficial bacteria (probiotics), enzymes, and minerals produced by the process. Kraut juice is also high in electrolytes. Folk remedies in many cultures have found healing in fermented vegetables and the resulting brine. So, bottoms up!

Kirsten Writes

Our crocktails are all about capturing the golden age of cocktails. Developed with our favorite bartenders, Ursula and Ted Raymond, they are a tasty postmodern twist on retro drinks. Serve them at parties, where they make great conversation starters.

Kraut Shots

Brine was a precious commodity when we made small batches of kraut, with only a tablespoon or so left over at the bottom of an empty jar, but when our kraut making became commercial, with 10-gallon batches of kraut or kimchi, we were faced with a huge surplus and very little space to store it. It seemed wrong to send it down the drain, so we purchased a couple dozen USA-made shot glasses and took a few bottles of brine to market to see what would happen. People loved it, and it became a mainstay. We happily made a dent in our surplus, 1.5 ounces at a time.

Christopher usually took on the job of bartender and identified four types of shot drinkers.

Brine-Ade

serves 4 to 6

If you are not ready to drink your brine straight up, this “lemonade” might be a way for you to dip into the brine.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Make a simple syrup by combining the sugar with the warm water. Mix until your sweetener is completely dissolved.
  2. 2. Place your syrup into a pitcher and add the cold water, sauerkraut brine, and lemon slices. Give the lemon slices a twist to release some of the lemon juice as you are putting them into the pitcher. Add ginger, if using.
  3. 3. Let this sit for about a half hour to allow the flavors to mingle.
  4. 4. Serve over ice for a refreshing summer beverage, or serve at room temperature for a cozy healing beverage.

Brine G’spritzt

The German word for spray or sprinkle is spritzen, which is where we get the word spritzer, defining a bubbly drink. In many cases this is an alcoholic drink. In Austria when fruit juice is added to soda water, it is g’spritzt!

Choose any brine and pour a few ounces over ice into a tall glass. Fill the glass the rest of the way with soda water.

Play around with this drink. You can use soda water, fruit juice, and a splash of brine to make a healthy probiotic soda that will delight even a brine-adverse sweet tooth.

Chi-tini

serves 1

We realize we are treading on unstable ground by messing with the martini and its ritual and protocols and iconic mystique. But the green olive being a lacto-fermented superstar, we feel justified in this expression of the beverage.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Pour the dry vermouth into the martini glass, swirl it around to coat the inside of the glass, then pour it out.
  2. 2. Put the ice, gin, and brine in a shaker. Shake and strain into the martini glass.
  3. 3. Squeeze the strip of lemon peel over the drink, allowing the zest oils to drop into the drink.

The Dirty Kraut

serves 1

A dirty martini traditionally uses olive brine in the drink. A similar idea is the Gibson, in which juice from pickled onions is added. In the Dirty Kraut, add your favorite brine. Here, we like Naked Kraut brine and Lemon-Dill Kraut brine; beet brine, not so much.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Put the vermouth, brine, gin, and ice in a shaker. Shake vigorously until chilled. Strain into a martini glass.
  2. 2. Garnish with olives or a lacto-fermented pickle.

Sidecar

serves 1

This is a fermented play on the sweet-and-sour cocktail fabled to have originated in Hemingway’s France.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Run the lemon around the rim of a chilled cocktail glass. Dip the rim into sugar.
  2. 2. Squeeze the juice from the lemon and orange into a shaker. Add the bourbon, cranberry relish, brine, and ice. Shake vigorously until chilled. Strain into the prepared glass.

Old-Fashioned

serves 1

This was one of the first American cocktails, showcasing the whiskey and bourbon around at the turn of the twentieth century.

This drink is made by “muddling” (or squishing) the fruit. As a fermentista you will recognize this as tamping. Your kraut tamper will get a chance to moonlight as a muddler.

Ingredients

Combine the relish, simple syrup, and orange wedge in an 8- to 10-ounce glass. Use your muddler to mash the relish and orange into the syrup. Add ice, then pour in the bourbon and vermouth. Stir gently. Top off with soda water, if desired.

Variation: Old-Fashioned Spritzer

This version dilutes the alcohol to make a much lighter drink. Pour the mixture into a 16- or 20-ounce glass, add more ice, and fill with soda water.

Jalapeño Shots

serves 1

These are hot and spicy — get ready for a whole-body experience of warmth — and somehow the salt makes it all work.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Mix the brine and gin in a shot glass. Moisten the back of your hand between your index finger and thumb and sprinkle it with salt.
  2. 2. Lick the salt, then quickly drink the shot.

Kimchi Mary 1

serves 1

Kimchi brine is a natural fit for a spin on a Bloody Mary. In this drink brine replaces the tomato juice altogether. Since this drink typically has lots of veggies and pickles in the garnish, use lacto-­fermented versions as adornments.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Combine the brine and vodka.
  2. 2. Rub the lemon half around the rim of the glass, then dip the rim in salt.
  3. 3. Add ice to glass, then pour in the kimchi-vodka mix.
  4. 4. Garnish with the skewered veggies and a fermented celery stick.

The Beet-Red Russian

We wanted to blend the Russians’ love of the beet with their passion for vodka. It seemed like a natural combination that had to work. We tried and we tried and we tried; the only way to get something drinkable was to add a lot of orange juice and a wee bit of beet brine to the vodka. It just ended up a salty red screwdriver — not fit for brown bread, sour cream, or a Russian winter.

Kimchi Mary 2

serves 1

In this variation the brine is part of the tomato based mix. This version should also be decorated with fermented veggies as above.

Ingredients

Instructions

  1. 1. Stir together the kimchi brine, tomato juice, Worcestershire, pepper, dill, and chile brine, if using.
  2. 2. Follow the directions for Kimchi Mary 1 (left), but substitute this mixture for the straight kimchi brine.

The Pickle Back

serves 1

This is a way to drink your pickle juice if you are not ready for straight-no-chaser kraut shots — though sort of in reverse, as the pickle juice is the chaser. T. J. Lynch of the Rusty Knot, in Manhattan’s West Village, is credited with originating this drink.

Ingredients

You need two shot glasses. The Jameson leads, followed closely by the brine.