Darnell’s Motor-Inn boasted nine “log cabins,” each with its own vibrating bed and color TV with hard-core pay-per-view. Brandon was staying in cabin five. The red sports car was gone. A black Jeep Cherokee was parked out front. Natalie knocked on the door and Brandon answered looking strung-out in gray sweats and blue athletic shoes.
“Come on in. Quick.” He closed the door behind them.
“What are you doing way out here?” Natalie asked.
“The media’s camped out at my dad’s house. I couldn’t stand it anymore. I had to get some fresh air.”
“There’s nothing fresh about this air,” Natalie said.
Inside, it was dark and nasty-smelling. She took a seat in one of the matching tangerine vinyl armchairs angled in front of the TV. These places were all the same—bed, bureau, minifridge. The curtains were faded. The carpet was the color of lumpy mashed potatoes
In this confined space, she could feel the heat crawling up her neck—she was glad to see Brandon, but more than a little concerned. The queen-size bed was covered in survivalist gear—a bulging backpack, his off-duty revolver with extra ammo, his handcuffs, a Taser.
“What the hell is this?” she asked, pointing at the cache of weaponry.
“Dominic wants me dead. I gotta be careful.” Brandon opened the minifridge and took out two Coronas. “Want a beer, Nat?”
“I’ll pass. Couldn’t you find a safer hideaway?”
“Nobody knows I’m here. The owner’s a buddy of mine. Coke? That’s all I got.”
She studied him closely—he was a sweaty mess with bloodshot eyes and knots on his forehead. She shook her head and felt an inexplicable weight on her shoulders.
He sat down and cracked his beer. “Maybe this is karma. Maybe life is just one big cosmic joke.”
“Karma for what?”
He shrugged. “I’m a fuckup. Straight up.”
“Look,” Natalie said, “if Dominic breaks parole, we’ll be on his ass in a heartbeat, okay? Meanwhile, you’ve got yourself a killer lawyer. You need to listen to him. You can’t keep running around like some backwoods vigilante—”
“Did they get the tox screen results yet?” Brandon interrupted.
She took a frayed breath. “You need to back off and let us do our job. Listen to your attorney. Avoid Dominic.”
His eyes widened. “You think that’s all I care about? Dominic spreading lies to protect his punk-ass son? Fuck him. Nothing shocks me anymore, Natalie. Nothing rocks me. I’m just looking for the thread running through all these questions.…”
Natalie folded her arms. “Can I be honest?”
“Go ahead.”
“I watched you self-destruct before my eyes. And that was a horrible feeling.”
He gave a sullen nod.
“Right here in my gut,” she said. “Like you put a bullet through me. Like you chewed a hole through our ranks. And I hated you for that. Because I really care what happens to you, Brandon. We all do.”
His eyes glazed over. “I made some poor choices. But how can you not see this, Natalie? My wife was dead on the floor, and I’m supposed to make rational decisions? How is that in any way fair?” He was silent for a moment as he gazed out the motel windows at the evening sky, sprinkled with stars and dominated by the planet Venus. He looked down at his hands. “What did Jules say?”
“You know I can’t talk about that.”
He scowled at her. “Give me something, Natalie.”
“We’re working around the clock. That’s all I can say.”
He gave her a look of utter despair. “How’d we get here? Huh?”
She’d intended to hammer him with questions, but now she could feel herself softening and sympathizing. Brandon had lost his wife and their entire future together in one blow. He’d lost his whole world. How would she have coped? How would anyone? These thoughts were stuck like burrs in her mind. “Brandon, this is the second time we’ve met against the advice of your counsel,” she said. “So what’s up?”
He gave her a pleading look. “Can I trust you?”
“Are you kidding me? I’m your most trusted ally. I’m the only one who’s going to tell you the truth, even if you don’t like me very much. And so, yes, Brandon, you can trust me.”
The muscles of his back tensed as he released a sigh. “Okay, fine. Ask me anything. I’m an open book.”
“Are you sure?”
“Fuck my lawyer … go ahead. I want justice for my wife and baby.”
She leaned forward and said, “I know about your fling with Lindsey back in high school. I know you weren’t consulted about the abortion, and I was told you reacted with anger. So what happened, in your own words?”
He smoothed his greasy hair behind his ears and said, “Of course, I was pissed off. Who wouldn’t be? I wanted that baby. I wanted to marry her. But Daisy never let me know what was going on until it was too late. And that hurt like hell. She thought we were too young, and … you know what? She was right. Still, at the time, that didn’t make it suck any less.”
“Did you ever hit her? Lose your temper?”
“Christ, these are your questions?”
“You said I could ask you anything, Brandon. Why did you hire Lindsey to do your landscaping, when you knew how much it might hurt Daisy?”
“Lindsey’s the best in town.”
“Bullshit.”
“I don’t know what else to say. I guess I wasn’t thinking.”
“You weren’t thinking about Daisy’s feelings?”
“Our marriage wasn’t doing so great,” he said heatedly. “We were struggling to get back to a place of intimacy, real intimacy. Maybe there was a side of me that wanted to make her jealous,” he admitted. “Reignite those old feelings.”
“Old feelings of jealousy?”
“Passion,” he said, looking at her. “Love. Lust. Fun.”
She nodded.
“We don’t always act rationally when it comes to love, do we?”
“No, we don’t,” she admitted.
His face had grown tense and expressionless. “I wasn’t paying attention, okay? I was thinking about our future together. What does it matter? I loved her, you know that. We were going to have a baby. Sure we argued. Things weren’t perfect. But I’ve been in love with Daisy since the fifth grade, and everybody fuckin’ knows it.”
“I know you love her, Brandon. That’s not in dispute here.”
“And now, come to find out … my wife’s been cheating on me.” He took a swallow of beer. “All this time, it turns out she was screwing around behind my back.” Brandon gazed blankly out the window. “With Ethan Hathaway.”
The hairs on her arms bristled. “How do you know it was him?”
“Are you kidding me? You think anyone can keep a secret in this town?”
“We have a leaker? Who told you?”
“Relax, Natalie. I saw it on the news. All those cameras in front of the police station. I spotted him walking up the steps behind the talking heads. One plus one equals a threesome. Besides, it was you who planted the idea in my head in the first place.”
“Jesus, Brandon.”
“Love sonnets, you said. Ever since you told me about those sonnets, it’s been eating a hole in me. Bottom line, some egghead was bonking my wife while I was agonizing about her and the baby. That’s the takeaway from this.” He wiped the sweat off his face.
Natalie steepled her fingers together and said, “Just tell me one thing. Why did you lie to me? You didn’t get to the gym until five thirty, according to the staff.”
“Who cares?”
“I do. Because it speaks to the timeline. You know exactly what I mean.”
Brandon stood up and balled his hands into fists. “I wasn’t lying to you, Natalie. I honestly don’t remember. My head’s been fuzzy for days. D’you realize what this feels like? It feels like a Valium-induced waking dream. It’s down to brain-dead levels now. My wife is dead. Do you have any idea what I did today? I had to go pick out the casket.” He ran his hands through his messy hair. “I had to fetch a copy of the death certificate. And you wonder why I can’t pin down the exact time I went to the gym?”
“It’s significant. You changed your story twice. First, you said you went to the gym at four, then at five, now it’s five thirty. So, fine. Now we know you drove to Chippaway at four—no witnesses, no stops for gas, no receipts. And that presents a problem for me. Because basically, there’s an hour and a half unaccounted for.”
“I picked out her casket today,” he cried, the sound of his pain reverberating. “I made funeral arrangements for my dead wife and baby. Where’s the justice? How am I supposed to deal with this? Nobody told me I’d feel this way.”
“You need to get your head on straight,” she said firmly, afraid for him.
He looked at her and broke down crying. He plopped down on the edge of the bed and cupped his wet face in his hands, shoulders shaking in agony. He took a deep breath and said, “She wanted to take the train to New York … she wanted to go check out the art galleries or the theater, but I never had time. Now I can’t stop thinking about all the things I should’ve done. I can’t switch off my mind,” he said, tears clinging to his eyelashes. “I feel so fucking alone.”
“You aren’t alone.” Her nerves were raw. Natalie was afraid to leave him here with his weapons and paranoia. She tamped down her anxiety and said, “Is there anybody I can call? A family member or a friend?”
He shook his head.
“I can’t leave you alone like this. Who can I call?”
A small silence passed between them.
“My minister.”
She took out her phone and called Reverend Grimsby, whom she’d met at one of the Buckners’ parties. The reverend promised to head over to the motel right away, and Natalie waited with Brandon until he arrived. An exhausted silence settled between them. Her stomach felt queasy. Moonlight glowed through the cabin windows.
Brandon looked at his hands. “Thanks, Natalie.”
“Stay out of trouble. Do what your attorney says, okay?”
He glanced up. “I used to think she was as good as gold.”
Natalie nodded.
“Whenever I got suspicious, Daisy was always proving me wrong. Like for instance, just a few weeks ago, she was moody and quiet all afternoon … and then out of the blue, she tells me we’re out of milk and scoops up her car keys and takes off. But I noticed there was milk in the fridge. So I followed her across town, wondering what she was up to, you know? She drove to that bakery across town … Sweetie’s. You know the one? I parked down the street and observed her. She came out of Sweetie’s with a pink bakery box in her hands. I thought—this is odd. I had no idea what was going on. Long story short, she drove over to the Hadleys’ old farm, pulled into the driveway, and Bunny came out of the barn, and Daisy gave her the box. It was cupcakes. Bunny ate one while I watched them talking for a while. And I thought, my God, Daisy’s as good as gold.”
Natalie frowned. “But why would she lie to you about that?”
“I have no idea.” He shook his head. “I was just relieved she wasn’t cheating on me. What a clueless jerk I was, huh?”