The next morning, Cyrene still couldn’t shake the feeling that she was cheating just by knowing what the next task was. She didn’t know if others knew and couldn’t exactly broach the topic with anyone. She hadn’t even told her friends when she got back. She had been half-worried they’d disapprove…and half-worried that they’d encourage her to practice.
Truth be told, she wasn’t sure she could manage them telling her to go for it. She wasn’t strong enough to say no again.
Because she really, really wanted to practice dragon flying.
She only had a week left before the next challenge. It wasn’t much time to learn how to fly with a dragon anyway. A day’s head start for the competitors who had never flown before would hardly be useful. But, if they had all flown before, she would be way behind.
She wanted to scream in frustration. Scream at Kivrin for giving her this to think about.
Kivrin.
She didn’t know what to make of him. He clearly had an issue with Lorian and Alura. He’d lost the tournament in the past…at the very least. But she didn’t know what his stake in all of this was. If he could be playing her in some way.
Cyrene’s energy was so uncontrollable as she stood in the training facility. Her magic was actually bubbling out of her. Unleashing from her in small bursts that she hadn’t even intended. She felt like she was overflowing with magic and had no outlet for it all. Throwing water around wasn’t really helping when she was used to unleashing like a torrent.
She just wanted a place to put it.
To calm herself down. To feel whole again instead of torn between doing what was right and what would give her an advantage.
Her eyes darted to the dagger she still held at her belt. It still hummed to her, but she had gotten used to the feel of it against her leg. She’d never figured out the trick to the honeycomb. And all the theoretical knowledge from Fallon had done no good. But, right now, she needed it. Or she was going to self-destruct.
She dragged all of her unspent energy to her fingertips. It was blissful yet excruciating to hold. So much energy just waiting to be used for something spectacular. But she had no real enemy to foil. Nothing that would allow her to unleash enough to pass out and enter the spirit realm to speak with Serafina. She had control enough to be dangerous.
With all that magic at her fingertips, she touched the ruby within her dagger. She willed the honeycomb to fill with the excess. To take away the overflow and leave her grounded once more.
The Tendrille metal suddenly heated against her thigh. She gasped as she felt it react to her powers. Then the ruby began to glow. And, like a drain, her magic flowed out of her and into the honeycomb within the ruby. It was heavenly to feel the weight of her magic diminish for a time. And then, when she was finally back at a reasonable level, she removed her hand and sighed.
Yanking the dagger out of its sheath, Cyrene stared down into the ruby and saw with delight that some of the honeycomb had filled up. That meant that she could drain more of her magic off into the ruby if needed. It was as if the very act of needing the magic gone had unlocked some hidden place within the ruby.
She needed to tell Avoca. She ran out of the training facility and down the hallway toward her room. She grabbed her cloak and was about to leave when a young girl stood in her doorway. She had unruly red hair and wide green eyes. She held herself with the regality of a princess but with the wild heart of a survivor.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“Are you Cyrene of Doma?” the girl asked.
“Yes. Who are you?”
“Kerrigan of the House of Dragons.”
Cyrene tilted her head to the side. “You’re one of the Dragon Blessed.”
“I am.”
“Did you come for a reason?”
Her green eyes glittered with questions. “Are you truly human?”
“Yes.” Cyrene pulled her hair back to reveal her ears. “No tips.”
“My mother was human,” Kerrigan said. She pulled back her red hair and showed the short tips of her ears. “We don’t see many humans here, in Draco Mountain.”
“No, I suspect not.”
Kerrigan stared for a moment, as if she had more to say, much more to ask. She had a fierceness that Cyrene could see without her saying a word. A resiliency that said she’d endured much to get to this place. Cyrene knew it well. She had seen it in herself. In Cal and Gwynora and Haeven and so many others that she had encountered on her journey. The price of pain…and hope.
“Ameerath and Akeera have requested your presence. They said that they have agreed to your appeal and sent me to reclaim you. Are you ready?”
Cyrene grinned. “I am.”
They picked up Avoca on the way and then flew straight to the clearing once more. Cyrene was stiff from the ride by the time she got there, feeling a bit guilty for the ride. Though she couldn’t rightly say no just because she knew the next competition. She hadn’t told anyone about that, so it wasn’t even an excuse she could muster.
Come, young ones. We want to avoid the wildflowers. I do enjoy them this time of the year.
Cyrene nodded at Ameerath, and then, with Avoca at her side, she followed them to a grassy hill that led down to the stream. They sat side by side, facing the two dragons. It took several minutes for the dragons to settle themselves in the clearing. They took up a considerable amount of space, but once their wings were tucked in, they managed to look much smaller.
Ameerath began, You have come to us with the request to perform spirit magic. Few possess sufficient spirit magic to be able to control it; even fewer are able to control it without the assistance of a dragon. We are here to see if you can do such. It is most uncommon to train without the connection between dragon and rider, which allows us to assist you directly and amplify your abilities.
But we are going to try, Akeera told her.
“Thank you. Your assistance is much appreciated,” Cyrene told them.
“We truly are grateful,” Avoca added.
Now, first, we would like to know the extent to which you have already used your spirit magic.
Cyrene had already explained to them about Serafina and how she had been able to cross the divide, but she told the tale one more time. “Also, I have these energy bursts. They come naturally to me. It happened the first time when I killed a Braj, and I have been able to use it more regularly when I am using my abilities.”
I see. That is a perversion of how spirit magic works, but it’s not altogether an uncommon side effect of untapped potential, Akeera said. You could do much more than that if you had a dragon.
But she doesn’t have a dragon, soul sister. So, her perversions must be documented and considered. What is important is that she can access it at will. We will see if that continues with more difficult uses of your powers.
Well, Cyrene hadn’t thought the energy bursts were a perversion. They’d certainly helped when she was in a bind.
Akeera continued, Spirit magic is a rare quality among all but dragons. The ability to use spirit magic comes from another dimension. The world in which dragons originally came from had such a strong spiritual connection that a person was able to cross the divide at will to speak with ancestors. But here, in this physical world, the crossing and use of the spiritual is much more difficult.
The actual magic is a connection to the soul, and amplifying it is an energy source, Ameerath explained to them. If you have ever felt tired or weak after using your energy bursts, it is because your soul itself needs to rest and replenish.
Cyrene nearly gasped at the revelation. She’d known that she was extra sensitive to the bursts, but she’d thought it was because she didn’t have control of her magic. When she’d gained better control, much of the passing out and fatigue had passed.
“I have felt these side effects. That explanation makes so much sense.”
But tapping into the soul as an energy source is not as easy as it sounds. You must be attuned to your own spiritual element. Be one with yourself. And then you have to use your own oneness to cross the divide. It is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing, Ameerath said.
I would hardly expect to get it today. Let alone before you get your own dragon. However, we will start with the basics.
The basics, as they’d described them, felt awfully familiar. Sitting cross-legged in an open field, holding on to her magic and the bond with Avoca, and meditating. Trying to find oneness.
Cyrene had never felt less connected with her inherent oneness than sitting in that field. She truly hated meditating. It brought back all the painful memories of first trying to learn her magic and failing horribly. She had never gotten the hang of it. All it did was make her mind wander. Made her sit and stew in all the other things she had to do other than sit around for an hour.
She’s awful, Akeera said.
Ameerath snorted out a puff of smoke at her soul sister. She simply needs more practice. Cyrene, allow Avoca to ground you with the bond. It will strengthen your abilities and yourself. You need to think about who you are, what you are, what you stand for, what makes you, you. Take all of those essential elements of self and find the core of your being. Find the pulse beneath the pulse that drives you. Allow it to consume you. Set it free.
Cyrene’s inherent oneness was apparently trapped. She knew who she was and what she was and what she stood for. She knew exactly what made her, her. She was strong and dedicated. A bit impulsive but loyal. Good, sarcastic, brave, petty, and dedicated. She wanted to right the wrongs of this world. She wanted to be the Heir of the Light that their world needed. She wanted to face off in the final battle with all the right tools and win. But, at the same time, she wasn’t good. She was ambitious and self-centered. A part of her wanted so badly to leave this all behind. A part of her wanted even more desperately to drink in the dark blood magic of those around her. She was good and evil. A new mix. Something else.
And that something else…was not her oneness.
It was her otherness.
And, no matter how much meditating she did, she was never going to make that otherness be an inherent part of her core self. That made the hours they spent in the field pointless despite excellent instruction, a perfect and balanced bond, and all the effort in the world.
“We’ll keep trying,” Avoca assured her once they were back in Draco Mountain late in the evening. “They said you wouldn’t get it the first time.”
She was never going to get it. Though she didn’t say that to Avoca.
“Yeah, you’re right,” Cyrene muttered. “We’ll get it eventually.”
“Are you going to come back to the inn with me tonight? I think Ahlvie misses you. Though he’d never say it.”
Cyrene laughed. “Yeah, that’s the plan. I miss him, too, but don’t tell him.”
“I won’t,” Avoca said with a grin. “You two are ridiculous.”
“Don’t ruin our fun.”
“Never.”
Cyrene could hear footsteps moving rapidly toward them from down the hallway. They rounded a corner and nearly collided with Caelyn.
“Cyrene!” she gasped. “There you are. I have been looking all over for you.”
“I was out. What is it?” Cyrene asked, suddenly anxious.
“It’s Fallon. He’s been stabbed.”