AMELIA WAS SITTING in a quiet window seat on a landing, trying to compose a text to Carina to explain her behavior, when she realized with a lurch of guilt that Hunter was coming up the stairs toward her.
“Is Peyton all right?” he asked. “You’ve been gone a while.”
“Totally fine. Fast asleep. Matinder showed her to me over video chat.” Which had made Amelia feel like a helicopter mom, among other things. She gathered her courage and just blurted it. “I’m really sorry I embarrassed you. I shouldn’t have said that to that woman. She took me by surprise, but that’s no excuse. I’ll keep my cool next time, I promise.”
“Is that what you’re doing up here? Self-flagellating? That woman embarrassed herself. For God’s sake, Amelia. There is a vast difference between standing up for yourself and tearing someone else down.” He leaned his shoulder against the wall. “I’m the furthest thing from humiliated. I’m glad to know you can hold your own when someone crosses a line.”
“Really?” Her vision blurred she was so relieved.
“Yes, really. Come here.” He drew her to her feet and into a warm hug. “And thank you for refusing to gossip about them.”
“It was the truth,” she said with a scrape in her throat. “I barely know them. Their marriage doesn’t affect me, so I have nothing to say.”
“Except?” he prompted, as if he heard the word silently tacked to the end.
“Unless...” she corrected into his tie, then lifted her gaze to his, making herself put this into words. “Unless their marriage makes you regret ours?”
“No,” he said firmly, frowning with confusion. “Why would it? My only regret about our relationship is that it caused me to hurt Eden. I feel like I led her on.” His mouth curled with self-disgust. “That wasn’t fair. If she has since found consolation with Remy...” He shrugged. “More power to them.”
She studied his expression, searching for shadows, but he looked and sounded as though he was being completely frank. She offered a crooked smile.
“Thank you. I was feeling really sick about that.” She nodded toward the party. “I felt like I’d been rude to a customer and was about to be fired.”
He snorted. “First of all, if one of us tries to fire the other, a lot of lawyers will get involved, so let’s save it for a truly heinous offense, like leaving the cap off the toothpaste. Also, that woman isn’t your customer. She is definitely not always right.”
“True, but...” She slid a finger along his tie. “I feel like I have to impress people and I’m not... impressive.”
“I was thinking the complete opposite.” He rubbed her back. “You’re better at putting people at ease than I am. They enjoy chatting with you.”
“Oh, please,” she scoffed.
“Hey. I wanted to spend more time with you. That’s the reason you wound up in my room last year. If I’d found you boring or unpleasant, I wouldn’t have invited you to join me there, killer legs notwithstanding. Be yourself, Amelia. Be polite until someone breaks that social contract, then do what you did and stop giving them your time.”
She was so touched, she hugged him and the words almost came out of her. I love you.
For an extra second, she held on to him, eyes closed as she absorbed the rainbow of refracted emotions that shot into every corner of her being. Sparkling gold and passionate pink, earnest orange, possessive green and a true blue edged with dark indigo shadows of knowledge that he didn’t love her back.
He kissed her temple.
“And listen. I don’t care if people think I sneaked away with my wife to neck in a stairwell, but if that’s what you want to do, we should go home and do it properly.”
“We’ll stay for another twenty minutes. Let’s not be obvious.”
“Deal.”
Over the next weeks, things settled into a comfortable routine.
Hunter went into his downtown office a few times a week, but worked from home on the other days. He took her to Calgary for a two-night trip, mostly so she could visit with Vienna while he was at work. Auntie Vi suitably spoiled her niece with dozens of outfits and toys, admitting while Amelia opened them that she and Neal had been trying to conceive for two years.
“I’m so sorry.” Amelia let the panda-patterned romper drop into her lap. “It must have hurt so much when I came along with my unplanned, first-try surprise.”
“Not at all. I’m happy for my brother. And I’m only twenty-five,” Vienna dismissed with an overly cheerful smile. “We have time to explore options if it doesn’t work out naturally.”
“I’m sure it will.” Amelia left it at that, but it was a good reminder that even someone like Vienna, who seemed to have everything she could ever want, still struggled with things that felt basic to existence.
Amelia mentioned it to Hunter when they were back in Vancouver a few nights later, enjoying a rare evening at home. “Did you know Vienna and Neal are trying for a baby?”
“I did.” He hesitated, as though not wanting to say too much. “She’s wanted to start their family for some time.”
Does Neal? She closed her mouth against saying it, but while Vienna had taken every opportunity to cuddle Peyton, Neal had barely looked at his niece. Not everyone liked other people’s children, Amelia understood that, but for a married man starting a family, he talked an awful lot like a bachelor on his way to a sporting match with his toxic friends.
“How long have they been married?” she asked curiously.
“Four years.” He mentally calculated. “Coming up to five.”
“Gosh, she married young.”
“Unlike us,” he mocked drily, then sobered. “I tried to keep her from rushing into it, but Vi had her reasons.”
“Such as? You don’t have to tell me.” She immediately corrected herself. “It’s just that she said something at, um, the wedding. I keep thinking about it.”
“What was that?”
“That it’s not as easy to call off a wedding as it sounds. I feel like only someone who has actually contemplated doing it would say that.”
“Little did she know it’s easy as hell. Just walk away,” he said with a darkly ironic curl to his mouth, then he grimaced. “I wish she had called it off. She had a more complex relationship with our father than I did. He assumed I would take over and I was interested in the business. No matter what else went on, what disagreements we had, we always had that common ground to come back to. Vi didn’t have the same connection with him, but she wanted to feel like she was contributing to our collective benefit. Her marriage to Neal looked very good on paper. His family made their fortune in video rentals, eventually expanding into entertainment tech and home computers. It was a good fit to merge that under our umbrella, and Neal is a savvy salesman. I can’t deny he closes deals.”
“But?” she prompted.
“But I can’t stand the man. He cheated on her at his bachelor party. I told her to call it off. Dad told her to get over it and finish what she started. She listened to him.” He stabbed a breaded oyster and ate it.
“He didn’t have much sympathy because his wife cheated on him?” she guessed.
“Or didn’t care that she did? I don’t know why he thought Vi shouldn’t be upset, but I had a chat with Neal. He understands that any future infidelity won’t be tolerated by me, though he still finds ways to be a jerk to her. I support her having a family if that’s what she wants, but I also want to tell her to cut her losses. It’s a tough line to walk.”
His protective older brother act always made her wistful for her own.
Which reminded her in a roundabout way of something else they needed to discuss.
“Vienna told me your birthday is coming up—”
“I don’t celebrate it,” Hunter cut in flatly.
“She told me that, too.” She smiled faintly at how firm he sounded. “She didn’t say why.”
“We’re cleaning out the entire family closet tonight?” He sighed and picked up his wine, taking a healthy gulp. “When I was turning eleven, Irina arranged my birthday party. It was the first time she had done something nice for me. My whole class was invited along with their parents. I realize now, as an adult, it was an excuse for her to stage a raging party for day drinkers. At the time, it felt like I was cementing myself as Most Popular Boy heading into middle school.”
Another big gulp, then he set his glass aside.
“You also have to realize that I wasn’t as inured to her behavior as I am today. This was the first time I’d really seen that side of her. She got worse over the years. Much worse, but this was my first exposure to her being a sloppy drunk and making off-color jokes about how long I spent in the shower.”
“Oh, no. Hunter, I’m so sorry.”
“I’m not even there yet,” he assured her, holding up a hand. “Dad thought it was hilarious. All the other parents were laughing. I felt like the biggest tool alive when I was forced into the decorated chair, the center of attention as I opened all my gifts. I didn’t want anything except for the day to be over. I didn’t open her gift. I pretended I didn’t see it and, once everyone went back to eating their cake and ice cream, I took it into the house. I was going to throw it away in the laundry room, but there they were.”
Amelia sank back in her chair, asking a dread-filled, “Who?”
“Irina and one of the dads. I didn’t even have a full grasp of what sex was. I sure as hell didn’t know you could do it by dropping your pants around your ankles and bending a woman over the washing machine.”
“No. That’s wrong. A child isn’t equipped to process that!”
“Tell me about it. I felt like I was in the wrong for seeing them. I didn’t know whether I should tell my dad. I was sick about it.”
“Was there anyone you could talk to? Your grandparents?”
“I would have taken it to my grave,” he said grimly. “But about a week later, Dad got on me about how I was treating her. I couldn’t even look at her. She told him I was sulking because I’d caught her in the laundry room. She told him flat out in very blunt terms what she’d been doing and with whom. Like it was a joke that I’d seen it and was upset about it.”
“What did your father do?” There was an ache behind her breastbone as she watched old emotions paint across his face—anger and humiliation, impotence and disillusion.
“He blustered about how I should have knocked.”
“No,” she breathed.
“I heard them arguing in the bedroom later. It didn’t last long, and she was still there the next morning. She was always still there.” He took another gulp of wine. “And somehow that other man’s wife found out. I didn’t tell anyone, but the kid blamed me for his parents’ divorce. It was my party where he cheated. That stuck to me for years.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Not your apology to make. And like I say, her antics grew worse. I learned not to give her opportunities. No more birthday parties.”
“And your father stayed married to her.” She couldn’t believe it.
“He did.” He nodded.
Amelia felt so sad for both him and Vienna, having to grow up and grow a thick skin when they should have been able to make their own mistakes and have their father be there for them the way hers had for her.
“Thank you for telling me. I just thought it was contradictory. Vienna said you don’t celebrate, but when she told me the date, I thought it must have been the reason for your golf weekend last year.”
“No.” He shook his head. “That was a mental health break that happened to fall on my birthday. But that’s our anniversary,” he realized. “We can celebrate that. We’ll go for dinner. Or would you rather make a weekend of it? Visit the Okanagan?”
“Actually...” She folded her arms in front of the plate she had yet to finish. “It’s also the anniversary of Jasper going missing. I’d rather spend it with Dad, if you don’t mind. He’s heading back to Goderich this week.”
Hunter swore and sat back. “Of course. I didn’t even think. I need to spend a few weeks in Toronto anyway. We’ll visit him from there. Let me know if he has any trouble with paparazzi once he’s home. The security system was installed, but that will only protect his privacy while he’s inside the house.”
“Thanks. I will.” He was doing so much for her father. For all of them. She hated to ask for more, but, “Since we’re on the topic... Have you heard anything from your friend? About Jasper?” There had been a few brief news pieces that had coincided with the coverage of their marriage.
Amelia Lindor, sister of Jasper Lindor, who went missing in South America last year and is presumed deceased...
She was glad his disappearance was being noted again, but it didn’t seem to be pushing anyone to investigate further.
“To be clear, I golfed with Orlin at a charity tournament once. That’s as well as I know him. He sent their internal investigation to my PA, but it doesn’t say anything more than what you’ve already told me. They do mention a life insurance policy,” he said in a very neutral tone.
“And that I’ve pushed them to pay it out? I know how that looks.” She picked up her fork, but had lost her appetite.
She could feel the weight of Hunter’s suspicion in his gaze.
“Think about it,” she rushed on with subdued fury. “They say we have to wait seven years for that money because there’s no proof he’s dead, yet they want us to believe there’s no reason to investigate further. They know I’ll use that money to hire someone to go there and look for him so they refuse to pay it.”
He blinked, but not before she saw the shadows of pity behind his eyes.
“I know I’m grasping at straws,” she muttered, dropping her fork with a clank. “But you don’t know what it’s like to come up against someone like you! All the power is weighted on your side. All the money and information and...” She picked up her napkin and pressed it to her stinging eyes, lungs seized by injustice.
“You want someone to blame. I understand that, but I have nothing to do with this, Amelia.”
“I know that.” Her mouth still quivered with futile anger. With frustrated loss. Her heart was cracked in two and there was a part of her that felt as though marrying him was consorting with the enemy. “But if Jasper suddenly reappeared, he would find me living like this. He would think I had completely forgotten about him. What if he’s hurt, Hunter? What if he can’t get home and I’m not even trying to help him?”
She was going to fall apart.
“I have to check on Peyton.” She rose abruptly and threw her napkin over her half-eaten meal.
“Amelia.” She had the sense his hand came out behind her, but she hurried away.
Hunter’s first reaction when he had read that Amelia was pressing for the insurance pay out had been a cynical one. Money fueled all things, all people. That’s what he’d been taught, and it was borne out by his lived reality nearly every day.
Nearly.
Amelia wasn’t motivated by financial gain. He had known that when she’d thrown his money back in his face as she walked out of his room last year. Amelia ran on love, especially where her brother was concerned.
Hunter didn’t take it personally that she had flared up at him. He understood. Grief had its own cycles, and he still became moody in April, which was the time of year when his mother had passed.
Also, he might not be at fault for Jasper’s disappearance, but he felt some guilt as he brooded on it. He was the type of Goliath she and her father were up against. More pertinently, he could have done more for her that morning when the disappearance happened. He hadn’t wanted to involve himself in someone else’s drama, having enough in his own life.
Her anguish ate at him. He asked her to send him her file of correspondence and spent several days going through it.
It was a relentless and heart-wrenching effort on her part, shaking every tree she could find without success. His own grim conclusion was that Jasper was gone. Her brother had been sent to Chile to survey specific terrain. Against instructions, he had gone a different direction. This was the source of their “walked away from the job site” claim. A month or so into his disappearance, there had been a landslide. His interpreter had been among those found in the rubble.
Amelia’s argument was that Jasper understood the dangers of the mountains. He had worked in avalanche control for several winters. He would recognize dangerous conditions.
Hunter was skeptical that anyone could have such a heightened sixth sense, but he couldn’t shake the contradiction she had pointed out. Why wouldn’t REM-ex pay out the insurance if they were so confident her brother was dead?
He made discreet arrangements for boots on the ground in Chile. At least his own conscience would be satisfied that he had done all he could for her.
He didn’t tell her, though. He would wait for the report. The last thing he wanted was to tease her and Tobias with false hope.
Amelia was subdued when they arrived at her childhood home two weeks later. It was a small bungalow in a modest neighborhood, well maintained with a tidy yard. Peyton’s bedroom was filled with secondhand furniture, but it had clearly been assembled with care.
The somber reason for their visit was lightened by the baby. Peyton was becoming a real character with an infectious giggle and an expressive face. She always wiggled and crowed with excitement when one of her parents reached to pick her up and, cutest of all, she remembered Tobias. He sat down in his chair and held out his arms. As Amelia bent to place her in his lap, Peyton gave Tobias a brief look of confused anxiety, almost seeming about to cry, but the second he took her, she folded right into his chest.
“It’s that scratchy beard,” Amelia teased, pinching her father’s whiskers. “I would know a hug from you blindfolded. Like a baby duck imprinting on its mother’s feathers.”
“This little duckling is sure getting strong,” Tobias said with gruff affection. “I can barely hold on to her.”
It was a touching moment that put smiles on all their faces, but later, when Hunter came back from changing Peyton, he found Tobias trying to comfort Amelia through a very weak moment.
She was sobbing uncontrollably, and Tobias was saying gruffly, “No, chicken. He wouldn’t want you breaking your heart like this. Shush now.”
Something cracked in Hunter’s chest, ringing a hard enough ache through him that he had to take Peyton back into her bedroom and breathe through it.
As he rocked his child, he had to wonder how he would cope in Tobias’s shoes. Not well, that was for damned sure. This little sprite was so much a part of him, he couldn’t imagine his life without her. As for her mother...
He couldn’t stand that Amelia was hurting. He did have all the money and power and influence, as she had accused him, yet he couldn’t fix what was wrong for her. He had a half dozen homes, all big enough to fit this one inside it, and she didn’t care. She only wanted what he couldn’t give her. It was humbling.
She slipped in to join him, wiping a balled-up tissue under her eyes as she asked in a tear-hoarsened voice, “Is everything okay? You didn’t come back.”
“It looked like you and your dad needed a minute.” He lifted his arm with invitation.
She pressed herself to his side, slipping one arm behind his back. The other encircled their baby, who sleepily left her head on his shoulder.
For a few breaths, they stood quiet, both watching Peyton chew her fist.
“Sometimes I wonder if Jasper’s spirit made her happen,” Amelia confided softly, brushing a tender hand over Peyton’s fine hair. “Maybe he knew she would give me and Dad a reason to keep going after we learned he was gone.”
Hunter hugged her closer and pressed his lips to her forehead.
Then he had to admit, “I don’t actually find the idea of your brother being in the room with us last summer very comforting.”
She hugged herself into him and shook with laughter, muffling it against his chest.
He smiled past the ache in his tight throat, pleased he could give her that at least.