THE NEXT FEW days were rough. Peyton was cutting her first tooth, crying on and off all day and night. That gave Amelia an excuse for her wan expression and red eyes, as well as a reason to sleep in the nursery.
She wasn’t trying to punish Hunter or even avoid him, she just didn’t know what to say or how to act around him. She half expected him to accuse her of withholding sex as some sort of power play, but he only asked if she wanted him to cancel his meeting to help with Peyton.
“There’s nothing you can do,” she said wearily. “She wants me.”
Poor Matinder was constantly hovering with teething gel and frozen face cloths at the ready, wringing her hands with helplessness.
“I’ll be home by five,” he promised, and was.
When he walked into their bedroom and found her pacing before the windows, trying to soothe Peyton, he said, “Still fussing? I’ll cancel dinner.”
Amelia stared at him, mind blank. It was a broadcast thing, she recollected. A pretty big deal, actually. He was supposed to present awards.
“Did you mention that this morning? I completely forgot.” She looked at the clock, noting that she should have started getting ready an hour ago. “You can go without me.”
“You’ve had her all day. I’ll take her so you can have a break.”
“She doesn’t want anyone else to hold her,” Amelia said with exasperation.
“You need a break,” he said firmly. “Go run a bath.” He gently stole Peyton, who began to sob with fresh misery, but she flopped her head onto his shoulder in a bid for comfort.
Amelia didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts. She would dwell on things like this, how her husband could make her feel so scorned, yet show her such consideration. It was maddening, but she couldn’t help loving him more for it.
As it turned out, she was so shortchanged on sleep, she fell asleep in the tub, waking with a start to tepid water and a still-full glass of wine.
For the first time in days, she spent more than five seconds on her appearance, pulling both thoughts and emotions back together as she dried her hair and touched up her eyebrows and worked moisturizer into her hands and feet.
Was she putting off a difficult conversation? Yes. She and Hunter were due to fly back to Vancouver tomorrow, and she didn’t know if she should go with him or if they ought to take a break.
She dressed in wine-colored pedal pushers and a sleeveless mock turtleneck, then went looking for them.
He was in the den off the main lounge that he used as his home office when they were here in the penthouse. Peyton was asleep in his arms, and he was talking on his phone.
“Try that and call me if—”
Some inner radar had him glancing at the door, almost as if he had been watching for her, concerned he might be overheard. Wary stillness came over him.
“I’m in Toronto,” he continued evenly, holding her gaze. “We’ll stay here until I hear from you. Call me anytime on this number.” He ended the call. “Feel better?”
That had sounded exactly like any of his business calls, but something had her skin prickling. “Was that Remy?”
“No.” The question seemed to surprise him. “He’s in France as far as I know.”
“Mmm.” She searched his expression, which seemed deliberately stoic. “I thought you had meetings in Vancouver this week?”
“Right. Thank you for the reminder.” Was he deliberately avoiding her eyes by glancing at his phone screen? “I have to make some calls to push those back. I’ll put Peyton down, then do that. The table is set on the terrace. Start without me.” He brushed past her.
She had worked up her courage to address the elephant that had been trampling all over their separate bedrooms for the last few days, and he disappeared before she could even acknowledge it.
Frustrated, she sat down to eat, but he didn’t join her. When he finally did, he seemed distracted. Then Peyton woke and Amelia’s chance to have an adult conversation with him was gone.
For the first time since their argument, Amelia went to bed in their bedroom as a sort of peace offering, but he wasn’t there, and she couldn’t get comfortable. Her mind spun for two hours with all the things they weren’t saying.
She could have gotten up to find him, she supposed, but she suspected he was sleeping in another room and that was such a painful death knell on their marriage, she didn’t want to face it.
He wasn’t there when she rose at three to feed Peyton and she flopped straight back to sleep after, still playing catch-up from her recent sleepless nights.
She was bordering on a coma when he gently squeezed her shoulder. “Amelia.”
For a moment she was disoriented and only felt the warm joy that always filled her when she opened her eyes to him.
Then she took in the daylight and the fact that he looked like ten miles of dirt road, eyes sunken and face lined.
“Have you been up all night? Is Peyton okay?” She hiked herself onto an elbow.
“She’s fine. I changed her and gave her a bottle. Matinder has her.”
“Okay. Um...” Her heart lurched. They were really close. His hand was still on her shoulder. It was all she could do not to press her cheek to his hand. Her throat began to burn with apprehension at what might come of this, but... “Should we ta—?”
“I got a call,” he said over her. His hand tightened on her shoulder as though he braced her for something. “Jasper is alive. He’s on his way here.”
If she hadn’t been lying on the bed, she would have dropped like a stone. Everything fell away. Wind seemed to rush around as she plummeted through blurred, empty space.
A cold ghost sat in her throat, turning her voice to crushed ice. “Pinch me.”
“It’s real.” He rubbed her shoulder with enough friction to assure her that she was awake.
She was still afraid to believe, but her body reacted, sweeping back the covers. She slapped her feet onto the hardwood floor and stood so fast, her head swam.
“Easy.” He steadied her. “He only left Santiago a few hours ago. He won’t get here until late tonight. Okay, I know, I know.”
She only realized she was shaking and growing limp, breathing so fast her vision was fading, when his arms went around her, catching her before she crumpled to the floor. The tears came so hard and thick, they made her cheeks ache, but there was no stopping them.
“I know, I know,” he kept saying, rubbing her back and smoothing her hair.
He didn’t know. He couldn’t. But when he eased onto the bed and drew her into his lap, cradling her, she clung to him, weeping out all the loss she’d carried this last year.
When she was weak and wrecked, head too heavy to lift, she only had one thought. “I have to phone Dad.” Her voice was a rusty nail on a chalkboard.
“I’ve sent a car for him. I didn’t tell him why. Listen.” His arms tightened around her. “I didn’t know for sure that Jasper was alive until he was in the air. That was his instruction. They had to sneak him out because somewhere in the REM-ex chain of command there are people who don’t want him alive. He thought it better to let them think he was dead. Otherwise, they might have come after you and your dad.”
She tilted her face up, searching his grim expression, trying to take that in.
“He said he would tell you as much as he can when he gets here, but we have to keep his return secret.”
“Anything,” she vowed.
He nodded. “Good. Get dressed. I’ll dismiss the staff for the day.”
She moved through the rest of the day as though walking through gelatin.
A few times she caught Hunter looking at her. They had so much to talk about, but her mind was consumed by Jasper, by willing his flight to arrive safely. Maybe she was even embracing this momentous occasion to avoid thinking about what would happen next with her husband.
Peyton finally, finally cut her two bottom teeth. Her swollen gums settled and two sharp white lines appeared. She smiled again, but Amelia still held her for her own comfort, pacing restlessly, arms aching, mind nothing but cotton balls.
Her father turned up, and they had a long hug and a good cry, then it was more waiting. Each minute was a ratchet on a torture device until Amelia was utterly, emotionally exhausted.
Finally, when she was yawning because it was growing late, the elevator dinged.
She stood and held her breath.
A man she barely recognized stepped off the elevator. He wore a bushy beard and was thinner than he’d been even in his high school beanpole days. He had a scar cut into his eyebrow, and his clothes were hanging off his wiry frame, but it was him. It was Jasper. Her brother.
She handed Peyton to Hunter and followed her father across the floor into a big hug that nearly broke her in half. Both of the men closed her in so strongly she couldn’t breathe, but she was completely okay with that.
Her father was saying, “Son. My son,” and Jasper was whispering a jagged, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Tobias broke away first, trying to regain his composure by wiping his handkerchief across his cheeks.
Amelia wasn’t ready to let go and wrapped both her arms around her brother. He smelled like he had showered in chlorinated water, maybe on the airplane? She didn’t care. The chemical smell imprinted on her as the best fragrance in the world, one that swelled her heart with joy.
“I can’t believe you’re really here.”
Jasper nearly lifted her off the ground as he squeezed her. “All thanks to that flop of a cake I made for you when you hit puberty.”
“What?” She lifted her wet face, vaguely remembering telling Hunter about that.
“A stranger turned up claiming to work for your husband, but I didn’t even know you were married. It felt like a setup, so I told him he had the wrong guy. Then he told me about the cake. I knew you wouldn’t have shared that with anyone you didn’t trust completely.”
She looked to Hunter, starting to realize exactly what he had done for her. He stood there all gorgeous and tailored, even though his expression was pulled into an emotive grimace while he watched their reunion. He cradled their daughter, always the tender, attentive father he had told her he wanted to be. In fact, his dedication to her and her family was so deep, he had found her brother and reunited her with him.
She’d been so hurt after their fight, and now it seemed like a huge waste of her energy to be angry. If this was Hunter’s version of caring, his unfettered love might be too strong to withstand. She was having trouble bearing the emotions swamping her as it was.
Just then, Tobias blew his nose with the goose honk that had been a mainstay of her childhood. It was such a familiar sound of home, it didn’t even alarm Peyton and busted Amelia and Jasper into laughing so hard, they doubled over, breathless and crying. It was too strong a reaction for such a silly thing, but it broke the tension and allowed her to draw Jasper the rest of the way into the apartment.
“You must be Hunter,” Jasper said, offering his hand.
“Good to meet you. And this is your niece. Peyton.”
Peyton was a sturdy little bundle these days, keeping her head up and her attention alert. She fixed her eyes on Jasper, fist in her mouth.
As if she recognized one of her own, she pointed her wet hand at Jasper and smiled, showing off the glint of white on her gums.
“Hey,” he said shakily. “We have the same name.” As he took her, Jasper glanced at Amelia with a gentle scold for being so sentimental as to give her daughter his middle name and for bringing fresh tears to his eyes.
“I was going to come to Chile and look for you myself, but I found out I was carrying her—”
“I was doing my best to stay lost. You wouldn’t have—Ouch. That’s quite a grip, kid.” He pried her fist loose from his beard and shifted her against his shoulder, letting her curl her hand around his finger instead.
“Why did you have to hide?” Tobias demanded, easing into a chair.
“Sit,” Hunter invited with a wave.
“Thanks. I’m exhausted.”
Jasper sank onto the sofa, and Amelia perched right beside him.
“I am so sorry I let you believe I was dead.” Jasper included both her and Tobias in his remorseful look. “I can’t explain it all. Not yet. I can’t even stay. The man Hunter sent—I won’t give you his name. Hunter has arranged for him to take me to an undisclosed location. Thanks for the lawyer, by the way,” Jasper said to Hunter. “I’ll swear some statements into evidence before I go public that I’m alive. It’s easier to leave a man for dead in remote mountains a continent away than it will be once there are charges pending. It’ll be dangerous for me at first, and ugly for all of you for a while. That’s why I want you at arm’s length. Hunter knows how to reach me if something happens, but until I go public, I’m still dead. Got it?”
“I guess.” Amelia’s lips wouldn’t stay steady enough to speak. “I really missed you, though. I don’t want you to go away again.”
“I won’t go far. I missed you, too.” He looped his free arm across her shoulders and hugged her into his side. Then he let her take Peyton. “But it has to be this way.”
“Okay,” Amelia hiccuped, recognizing his stubborn look. Arguing would be futile.
“Dad?” Jasper asked, moving toward Tobias.
“You’re alive, son. That’s all that matters to me.” Tobias stood and hugged him. “Come home as soon as you can.”
“I will.” With a final pet of Peyton’s hair and a kiss on Amelia’s cheek, Jasper left.
“Was that even real? It feels like a dream.” Amelia sank back onto the sofa, still holding Peyton, face pale, but with a light behind her eyes that Hunter hadn’t seen since he’d met her.
He squeezed her shoulder.
“Can I get you a drink, Tobias?” he asked as the older man slumped back into an armchair as though he’d run a marathon today.
Tobias rubbed his face.
“I’m trying to decide if I’m sleeping here or catching a lift home so I can sleep in my own bed.”
“I’ll take you in the morning,” Amelia said. “Peyton and I will come stay for, um...” She glanced uncertainly at Hunter, then down at their daughter.
Hunter’s heart swerved in his chest. The morning after she had told him she loved him, he’d gotten the first inkling that Jasper might have been found. Hunter had wanted to tell her, but after disappointing her so badly that night, he couldn’t bring himself to raise her hopes if they were about to be dashed again.
With Peyton so fussy, Amelia had had her hands full without his toying further with her emotions. He had focused on relaying what information he could to convince Jasper to trust his emissary and come home.
Hunter was glad, so glad that he’d been able to find Jasper, but he was aware that Jasper’s brief visit didn’t undo the hurt he’d caused Amelia.
“You’ll be heading back to Vancouver, won’t you?” Tobias was saying.
“That was the plan,” Hunter said carefully.
“It bothers me you’re alone at home,” Amelia said in a subdued voice.
“We have plenty of room if you want to come to Vancouver with us,” Hunter said, not for the first time. Or the last. “There’s a room ready for you.”
“I’m not alone in Goderich. I have my coffee with the boys every morning,” Tobias reminded her, then grew sheepish. “And I’ve taken to having pie with Mo’s sister, Ola, on Sunday afternoons. Sometimes we have the early bird special at Thursday’s on Thursday. Don’t get any ideas.” He shook a warning finger. “She’s a widow with kids who have grown and left the nest, same as me. We keep each other company, is all. It’s someone new to talk to who hasn’t heard all our same old yarns, but I wouldn’t want her feeling lonely if I weren’t there.” He wore a self-conscious blush on his cheeks.
“Oh. That’s nice. I’m happy if you’re happy, Dad.” Amelia blinked in bemusement.
“And we’d be happy for you to bring her for a visit if that works sometime, too,” Hunter said. “I can make arrangements anytime. Just let me know.”
“I will, thanks. I’ve decided to hit the hay,” Tobias said, standing and heaving a sigh. “It’s been a long day, and it’s catching up to me.”
Amelia rose, and they said their good-nights. Then she disappeared to put Peyton down for the night.
Hunter poured himself a drink, bracing himself for the reckoning that couldn’t be avoided. Peyton and I will come stay...
She didn’t want to come to Vancouver with him.
His guts roiled with the dark irony of her rejection. His greatest fear had been that Amelia would hold some sort of power over him, and she did. Knowing she was angry with him, and worse, knowing he deserved it, had been eating into him like acid.
He was every bit as enamored with and susceptible to her as his father had been Irina.
The difference was, Amelia was sensitive and supportive and loving. How had he seen that as a threat? Her heart was the most precious thing she could offer him, and he’d been a blind fool to throw it back at her the way he had.
No wonder she wanted to leave him.
Now he’d ruined it. He’d seen how completely she loathed the last man who hadn’t given her the respect her love deserved.
Her footsteps on the stairs had him turning to pour her wine and top up his scotch.
“Oh my God. Thank you,” she sighed as he handed her the glass. She took a sip. “And thank you.” Her eyes glossed with emotion. “I don’t know how to even process that you brought my brother back from the dead.”
“I threw money at a problem and hoped for the best. Fortunately, that’s what we got.”
“I’m still very grateful,” she said sincerely.
Grateful enough to stay? The pain down his breastbone was sharp as a fracture.
“I can’t imagine what it cost you,” she was saying, as if he cared about the money. “Finding him. The chartered flight... And his legal bills?” Her brow twisted with anxiety. “That’s not your responsibility, Hunter. Dad has said many times that he can remortgage the house—”
“Don’t even think it. There will be a settlement. It will be huge. Trust me. Anything I give Jasper will be a loan.” It stung that she didn’t want his money. How was this still a bone of contention between them? “You would help my sister in any way you could. I know that.”
“I would,” she agreed absently, then winced. “But it sounds like our family will drag yours into the spotlight again. That’s why I thought going to live with Dad would be a good idea. Wouldn’t it be better for you if we said we were on a trial separation—”
“Better?” he choked. “How would it be better for me if my wife and daughter leave me?”
“I...” Her shoulders slumped. “I know you want Peyton close to you, but—”
“I want you!” he shouted, then clacked his teeth together. He glanced toward the stairs as he recalled that her father was trying to sleep. Pressure filled his head and his throat and his chest. Urgency. Fear.
“Dad wears earplugs so Peyton doesn’t wake him.” Amelia hugged herself as she eyed him warily. “I know that we click, chemistry-wise. I just don’t know how that can be enough when you’re going to all this trouble on my behalf.”
“Enough?” He ran a hand down his face, wondering how she could make him feel so callow and misunderstood. “I didn’t search for him so I could get laid, Amelia. It was the right thing to do and it might not have worked out as well as it did, but I wanted answers for you, one way or another.”
“Because you care about me.” She sat down, hand shaking as she abandoned her wine on the coffee table. “I know you do and I’ve been churlish, acting as though you don’t give me everything I need when you do. I realize that. Words are cheap. Actions are real and the way you act is...loving. It’s okay if you don’t say the words or feel it the way I do.”
“Don’t be so damned forgiving!” he burst out, hating himself in that moment. “Do you know how I would have reacted if I told you I loved you and you said, That’s nice? I would throw up my heart and wonder what reason there was for continuing with my sorry life. I would call you a coward when I can see with my own eyes that you love me.” He pointed at his eyes. They were stinging with gathering tears. His throat was on fire, barely able to mutter, “Even if you were too stubborn and scared to say the words.”
She tucked her chin and bit her trembling lips into a line, blinking wet lashes.
“Actions are real,” he noted. “The things you do for me... I don’t need a business partner for a wife. I need you. By my side. Taking my side. You keep me grounded and give me someone to come home to. You make every one of my houses feel like a home. If you’re not here, then I guess I’m moving to Goderich, because my home is wherever you are. I need you in my life. I need you to keep me from being a distrustful jerk and to help me see the good in this world. You are the good in this world. You’re the good in my world.”
The tears brimming her lashes began to trickle down her cheeks, but she managed to sniff, “And Peyton.”
“She wouldn’t be here without you, would she?”
She released a shaky chuckle. “I’m starting to think you really do love me.”
“I’m starting to think so, too,” he said humbly. Contritely. “I think I love you more than either of us realize.”
He waited for the cavernous vulnerability to hit him, but saying those words didn’t make him feel defenseless. They filled him with something strong and certain and right. Like lifeblood. Like air. Necessary and energizing.
He had been so afraid of what she would take from him if he let himself fall for her. Instead, he wanted to give her everything. Not in a foolish way. Not as an infantile means of keeping her, but because he wanted her to know what she meant to him. Because he wanted her to thrive so she could be with him always.
He walked across and knelt before her, cupping her cheeks.
“I love you,” he said, feeling the words vibrate from the depths of his chest, radiating outward to his fingertips and toes. The only way it broke anything inside him was to crack the wall around his heart. Rather than feeling unguarded, he felt free.
“I love you, too.” Her mouth trembled. “So much.”
He stood and drew her up with him, closing his arms around her, needing as much of her touching him as possible. He needed the taste of her unsteady lips against his. The dampness of her tears against his cheek and the press of her heartbeat to his chest.
Her thumb swept across his clenched eye. There was dampness there, and he only held her closer, unashamed by how much of his love was seeping out of him to land on her.
“I thought I would lose you,” he confessed. “I didn’t know how I would bear it.”
“I’m here. I will be. Always.”
“Same. Always.”
They kept making promises between kisses, slowly making their way up the stairs to their room. To their bed.
And when they made love, it was pure love, each caress and kiss a vow. It was a celebration of their bodies and their soul-deep connection.
When the shimmering clench of climax began to grip them, she traced his ear and said with a pang of doubt, “You’re still waiting for me.”
“Because I’m a gentleman, love.”
Which made her laugh. She twisted and he was lost to the throes of climax, groaning and thrusting, dragging her with him into the delirious storm.