Chapter Twenty-Two
Peel Away the Skin and We’re All Quite Similar
The New Mexico sun beat down like a high-voltage heat lamp, warming up all the thousands of beings locked behind the tall chain-link fences. At first those from Foo were pretty patient, waiting calmly behind the fences for someone to tell them when they would be free. But as the scene became more and more crowded and the day got hotter and hotter, nits, cogs, and other beings began to lose it. There was hollering and shoving, and over the past few minutes the chain-link fences seemed in danger of being pulled down.
Still, despite all the anxiety and unknowing, the stream of refugees continued to flow up and out of Blue Hole Lake.
The Dearth was currently tucked away in the scuba shop waiting for the president of the United States to make a visit. Ezra, Dennis, General Lank, six guards, two other generals, the ambassador from France, a Mexican liaison, and a doctor who was currently examining the Dearth were waiting with him.
Dr. Nook listened to the Dearth’s chest with his stethoscope. He moved the stethoscope around and then looked into the Dearth’s ear with a small light. Dr. Nook then took a pen from his pocket and jabbed it into his own leg.
“What the heck?” General Lank said.
Dr. Nook moaned, “Oww.”
“What are you doing?” Ezra hollered.
“I thought I might be dreaming,” Dr. Nook said. “I mean, a toothpick that’s alive, and now this person with the feet growing into the ground who has no heartbeat or pulse . . . or blood, for that matter.”
“He’s from Foo,” Elton explained.
“Amazing,” Dr. Nook said. “He will need to be further studied.”
“Now?” the Dearth asked mildly. “I have been most patient with all this, but I think it is about time you let me and those who have come go free. We were told that America was the land of the free.”
“That might be,” General Lank said. “But we just can’t let a couple hundred thousand aliens start wandering around the desert.”
“Aliens?” the Dearth said, bothered.
“You know,” General Lank said. “The Reality-challenged.”
“Stop being so nice to him,” Ezra barked. “I know we’re waiting for that bulb-headed president of yours to come here and tell us nothing we don’t already know, but you don’t have to treat this dirt clod so gently.”
The Dearth laughed as if Ezra were joking.
“I think what Ezra’s trying to say is that our feelings have changed,” Dennis informed them all.
“What?” Elton asked.
“Ezra and I have talked,” Dennis said. “We’re being fooled.”
“Fooled?” General Lank said.
“This old man sits here saying nice things and winking, and we’re falling for it,” Dennis said. “While he winks, all those he has brought with him are getting restless. They’re planning something.”
“Excuse me,” the Dearth said, half smiling. “I don’t understand.”
“Stop it,” Ezra yelled. “You come here with your accent and sweater and mustache and figure that all these dolts are going to just gobble you up. Well, they might, but I’m not.”
Ezra leapt across the room and landed on the Dearth’s nose. He pulled and pulled, as if the Dearth’s face were a mask and he was about to expose it.
“Ah-ha!” Ezra screamed while pulling.
The Dearth patted Ezra away, and the tiny toothpick flew across the room and landed in front of Dennis’s right foot. Ezra stood up on the ground and turned back to look at the Dearth.
“That was a dumb move, older man,” Ezra seethed.
The small, angry toothpick stood still. He closed his single eye and raised his hands as if marshalling his power. Then he waved his arms and opened his eye. A tiny wave of light radiated from it, expanding rapidly as it moved up and across the room. The wriggling glow reached the Dearth’s head and washed over him.
The Dearth began to cough and sputter. He bent over, grasping at his own stomach in pain. As he looked back up, his once-friendly face began to melt away. His eyes dripped down onto his cheeks, his nose melted to his chin, and his ears slid down the side of his neck.
“What the . . .” General Lank said, backing up.
A black ooze ran down his forehead, but when the Dearth reached up to try to make things right, all he managed to do was to get his chin stuck to his hand. He pulled his chin away.
Five seconds later there was no sign of the kind elderly gentleman. There was nothing but a huge pile of black that was writhing and stretching. The Dearth opened his large, sticky mouth and screamed.
“Shoot it!” General Lank said.
The six guards pulled their pistols and immediately began to unload into the Dearth. The bullets shot into the dark tar but did no damage. The Dearth just laughed.
“Smother him!” Ezra yelled.
Two of the guards jumped onto the Dearth. One tried to choke him at the neck while the other wrapped his arms around the back of the Dearth and squeezed.
The Dearth shook, and hundreds of thin strings of sticky black shot out from him and wrapped around the two unlucky guards. The Dearth then began to sink down into the soil beneath him.
“Stop him,” General Lank yelled. “Stop him!”
“How?” one of the guards screamed back.
The Dearth sank even lower into the dirt floor, dragging the two soldiers with him. Ezra shot off from the floor and pierced the Dearth’s torso. He flew out the back of the Dearth and slammed up against the far wall.
Dennis stood up, watching helplessly with the others as the Dearth disappeared beneath the soil with the two soldiers. Everyone just stood there dumbfounded. Suddenly, a thick root of rubbery blackness shot up like a snake. It flew across the room and jabbed itself into Elton’s stomach. The blackness took a bite into Elton’s belly, shook, and then retracted into the soil. Elton clutched his stomach and fell to the ground moaning.
General Lank grabbed a phone as two soldiers ran to Elton’s side.
“I told you so,” Ezra seethed.
“Yes, sir,” General Lank said to someone on the phone. “No, we have a real problem. Really?”
Ezra jumped back to Dennis and took a few moments to berate him for doing nothing.
“There was nothing to do,” Dennis argued.
“What a nub you are,” Ezra yelled.
General Lank hung up the phone.
“What now?” Dennis asked.
“The president will be here shortly,” Lank said. “And the Eiffel Tower just got up and walked away.”
“It’s going to get worse,” Ezra yelled, “now that the Dearth’s in the soil.”
“What do you suggest?” General Lank asked.
“I suggest you lock up Elton there, and then shoot everybody you currently have captured behind those fences.”
General Lank laughed uncomfortably.
“What are you laughing about?” Ezra asked.
“You’re serious?” the general said.
“As a decapitation,” Ezra screamed. “The Dearth took a bite out of Elton and is now in the soil. Even as you stand here, he’s wriggling about and spreading out. In fact, right now he’s probably whispering to every soul that will listen behind those fences, commanding them to start taking their own freedom a little more seriously.”
“Ha,” General Lank laughed. “My troops built those fences themselves.”
“You’re a fool,” Ezra laughed back. “It would take only a couple dozen of those from Foo to push those fences down. And once they see it’s possible, they’ll all follow—”
“Shut up,” General Lank interrupted.
“Excuse me,” Dennis and Ezra said together.
“I can’t think,” General Lank said.
“That’s obvious,” Ezra growled.
“We keep this a secret,” General Lank insisted. “Until the president arrives, we make no mention of losing the Dearth.”
“You seem to believe the president has some control over all of this,” Dennis said calmly. “I believe it’s time you start thinking a totally different way.”
Ezra almost looked proud.
“This Dearth,” a soldier asked, “how far can he go?”
“According to what I read on Dennis’s head two days ago,” Ezra answered, “he can move just about anywhere there is soil or sand. He can even move under oceans if there is dirt. You can go ahead and keep it a secret, but I guarantee that it won’t be a secret to those who he will first start messing with.”
General Lank’s red face looked like it was going to explode. He swore, making it clear that he would rather be anyplace other than where he was at the moment.
Unfortunately for him, it was about to get much worse.