Chapter Thirty-Four

You Don’t Know What You’ve Mocked Till It’s Gone

“Look over there,” Geth pointed.

Winter looked down out of the helicopter and saw herds of avalands busting through a small town far below. She and Geth could also see a bunch of firefighters spraying their hoses, trying to subdue a telt. And, of course, they saw cows and other livestock being pulled down beneath the soil by black strands of the Dearth.

“Where are we?” Winter yelled.

“Someplace over Texas,” Geth yelled back.

Geth, Winter, Phoebe, Ezra, Dennis, and Lilly were being flown by two pilots to Burnt Culvert, Oklahoma. One of the pilots, Captain Coin, had skin so white you could see his veins beneath it. The other was just plain white; he had been introduced as Captain Bubble. General Lank had arranged the ride but had stayed back at Blue Hole Lake to fight there. The helicopter was large and army green, with open sides. Everyone was strapped in tightly.

Lilly materialized in Winter’s lap behind the seat belt. “Is Texas a good place?”

“I think so,” Winter said. “But we’re not stopping there.”

Lilly disappeared.

Ezra was riding in Geth’s hand. He hopped forward to Captain Bubble’s shoulder and started bossing him around because he had been on a helicopter before and felt that made him an expert. After explaining to the pilots what he felt a certain button did, he pointed out the front window and asked, “What are those?”

The pilots looked out the window at the large, gray clouds that appeared to be racing across the sky toward them.

“Those clouds don’t look right,” Captain Coin said.

“Those aren’t clouds,” Geth hollered. “They’re hazen.”

Both pilots swore, apologized, and then told everyone to hang on. The hazen had been giving people grief all over the world. They had been messing with planes, tall buildings, kites, windmills, and even one blimp at a sporting event in Cairo. They looked like thick, gray clouds, but they had facial features and arms that became better defined when they were attacking. In Foo the hazen were sort of shy and reserved, but those here in Reality were mischievous and territorial.

“Maybe they haven’t seen us?” Dennis hoped.

Ezra slapped his own forehead. “That’s Dennis’s solution to everything: hope they never saw us.”

“Well, it’s possible they haven’t,” Geth said, trying to be kind to Dennis.

“Now that you put it that way,” Ezra agreed, “maybe they haven’t.”

Dennis and Winter stared at Ezra. It seemed pretty obvious that he was enamored with his human counterpart. Just a few hours ago, he had been vowing to find and kill him, but now he was kissing up to himself more than he was hating Geth.

The hazen shifted their course a tiny bit and began charging.

“They’ve seen us,” Phoebe said.

Ezra lifted his hands and waved, but he had no effect on the hazen.

“Let’s see if we can outrun them,” Captain Coin said with enthusiasm.

Captain Bubble pulled the helicopter to the side, racing at an angle away from the clouds. The hazen saw their movement and picked up speed.

“They’re coming faster,” Dennis said.

The helicopter pushed forward.

Winter heard it first. “Are they yelling?”

The speeding hazen were screaming as they drew closer. Their words were ominous and vulgar.

The wind in front of the hazen rocked the helicopter violently.

“Hold on,” Captain Bubble commanded.

The helicopter tilted sideways and blasted out across the sky. Large hazen swiped at the copter as it moved away.

More vulgarity.

Captain Coin pushed forward at full speed.

“You can’t outrun it,” Geth yelled.

“We’re gonna try,” Captain Coin yelled back.

As if on cue, one huge hazen reached out and wrapped itself around one of the landing skids on the helicopter. The poor machine whined and screeched as it tried to move forward.

“How do you fight hazen?” Winter yelled to Geth.

“I have no idea,” he yelled back. “In Foo they behaved.”

The helicopter tilted to the side and its blades sliced right through the dark cloud. The hazen released its hold and the copter lurched forward, jerking its passengers around.

“Go,” Captain Coin yelled at his copilot. “Go!”

“I’m going!” he yelled back.

Phoebe looked out the side to witness the entire west sky turning dark and moving toward them. “There are thousands of them now.”

Dennis looked down at the robe he was wearing. “Can this robe do anything?”

Ezra looked embarrassed to know him. “Yeah, jump out and it will act as a parachute.”

“I was just trying—”

Thick, dark hazen crowded around the helicopter and pushed in the open sides. They batted around the passengers, pushing and pulling at them. Gray, swirling strings of cloud grabbed Winter’s and Phoebe’s hair and yanked hard.

Both women screamed with equal volume.

Geth tried to tear at the hazen, but they had no real substance. “Land this thing,” he yelled to the pilots.

“We’re trying to go down,” Captain Coin yelled back. “But they seem to be pushing us up from below.”

A thin string of black cloud reached in and pressed the release on Dennis’s seat belt. The belt flew open, and Dennis was thrust forward and halfway out of the helicopter door. Geth reached to grab him and got ahold of the robe.

“What are you doing?” Ezra yelled, as if Dennis had chosen to fall out.

Dennis was too busy trying to find something to hold onto to reply. Geth lost his grip, and Dennis slid all the way out. His face slammed against the edge of the copter and he fell onto the left landing skid. Dennis shifted and was now hanging by his arms as the helicopter whizzed back and forth.

“Do something!” Ezra commanded.

Everyone looked at the toothpick, wondering if he had a suggestion.

“He’s not completely worthless,” Ezra added.

Geth unbuckled his own belt and fell to the floor of the helicopter onto his stomach. He scooted to the edge and looked out and down at Dennis. Winter unbuckled and grabbed Geth’s legs.

“Dennis!” Geth yelled down. “Don’t let go!”

The hazen wrapped around Dennis and batted him back and forth like a pale punching bag.

“Do something,” Ezra yelled again.

Geth tried to scoot forward to reach Dennis’s hand but the distance was too great. He couldn’t reach him.

Dennis couldn’t hold on any longer.

He looked at Geth and halfway smiled. He then let go and fell down into the belly of the dark clouds.

“No!” Ezra wailed.

Ezra jumped out of the helicopter, diving down into the clouds. Geth reached out and grabbed the small toothpick and pulled him back in. Winter and Geth rebuckled as Ezra kicked and screamed.

“Cowards!” he yelled. “I could have caught him.”

The hazen pushed up against the front windows and sides, making it almost pitch black. They rocked the helicopter in all directions.

Winter looked up at the only source of natural light. She could see through the two small windows in the ceiling that there were no hazen up above. They had surrounded the sides and bottom of the craft, but the top was clear.

“Tilt the helicopter again!” Winter yelled.

The pilots, desperate to try anything, threw the controls to the side, and the helicopter leaned sideways. The hazen on that side of the copter did not like the rotors chopping through them and pulled back.

“Can you spin around in a circle?” Winter hollered. “I think they hate the blades.”

The captains spun the helicopter around in a full circle, cutting away the hazen. Those bits reaching in pulled outward and the helicopter spun faster.

“I’m going to be ill,” Phoebe said.

“Now go after them,” Winter yelled to the pilots. “If they grab us from below, spin in a circle again and cut them off.”

The copter tilted sideways and moved in a straight line across the sky. The hazen came around the opposite side, but the pilots just spun, cutting at them with the helicopter’s rotors.

“Brilliant,” Geth said, smiling at Winter.

The sky began to lighten as the hazen grew frustrated and moved away. In a few minutes the horizon was hazen free.

“Should we land?” Captain Coin asked.

“No,” Geth replied. “Keep going.”

“What?” Ezra roared. “We’ve got to get Dennis.”

Nobody could make eye contact with the single-eyed toothpick.

“Turn this thing around!” Ezra yelled.

Phoebe reached out to touch Ezra and he screamed at her.

“It’s no use,” Geth said.

Ezra looked at Geth. “I hate me.”

And then, for the first time ever in the history of man, woman, or woodenkind, a toothpick produced a real tear. Lilly clung to Winter’s neck and shivered, Phoebe held Geth’s hand, and they sadly moved on.