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I expected things to be odd after that hug but when he returned with the food, it was nothing but business as usual. We joked and laughed and shared the obscene amount of food he’d ordered as we watched The Witcher on Netflix.
“Wouldn’t it be so cool to live forever?” I said, purely musing as I chomped down on some prawn toast.
“I don’t think it’s all it’s cracked up to be,” he replied, shoving an entire chicken ball in his mouth at once. “There are drawbacks.”
“I don’t see any.”
“Imagine having to see everyone you love die, over and over again. It would be soul breaking.”
“That’s no different to a mortal life, Luke.”
“Of course it is. It’s on a grander scale to start with. The friends you’d make over the years, they all grow old, but you don’t. You can never settle anywhere for more than a decade without questions being asked of why you’re not aging. It’s essentially the life of a nomad.”
“Some people like that though. Not having a fixed place to live.”
He nodded. “Sure. But it’s not for everyone. There’s a big difference between choosing to live like that and being forced to live like that.”
“That’s fair. I don’t know if I could do it or not.”
We fell into silence and carried on watching the episode. After I couldn’t take another mouthful, I made the fatal mistake of laying on my side just as the next episode started. My eyelids instantly grew heavy and the harder I tried to fight them, the heavier they became. I decided to give in, just for a second. Or several.
The constant shrill ring of my phone roused me from my food coma. As I grunted with the effort of throwing my arm out in a lame attempt to try and grab it, I heard Luke’s voice.
“What? Ok, stay there. We’re on our way.”
I forced my eyes open to see Luke coming towards the bed. Next thing I knew, his hands were on my body, gently shaking me awake.
“Cat, you need to wake up. Caitlyn, wake up.”
I rolled over onto my back and groaned. “Tired.”
“I know but we need to go. Your dad has had a fall.”
That pierced right through my grogginess like a spear. I sat bolt upright, nearly colliding my forehead with Luke’s. “What? Is he ok?”
“I don’t know. Joanna is with him. He’s alive at least.”
I scrambled off the bed, almost falling over as my legs tried to coordinate themselves. I felt like a new-born foal. “Knew I should have gone home tonight.”
Luke reached out and stopped me from falling over and hitting the doorframe. “Cat, now isn’t the time to play the blame game.”
My eyes welled up with water. “At least if I’d been at home I would have been there, maybe stopped it.”
“How? You’d have most likely been in your apartment and known nothing of it.”
I had no response. He was right. I glanced down at the floor as I furiously blinked away my tears. With nothing to distract my mind, I couldn’t help but focus on his hands on my waist. The heat from his touch radiated through my body like a thermal wave. I found myself staring at his forearms, mesmerised by not only their thickness, but the clear definition of each muscle.
Before I knew what I was doing, I raised a hand and started moving it towards his left forearm. I wanted to touch what my eyes were so hypnotised by.
“Cat,” he whispered, dropping his hands from my waist.
The spell had been broken and I suddenly woke up, wondering what the hell I’d been thinking. I stepped back and looked up at him, not sure if I should apologise or not.
“Let’s go,” I said.
He nodded and led the way out to his truck. Even though we’d fallen into silence, he still did his usual chivalrous routine of opening the door for me. The entire journey back to mine we said nothing. The more I thought about it, the more poignant the silence seemed to be.
As Luke pulled up around the back, I jumped out of the truck before he’d even brought it to a stop. I ran to the back door like the devil himself was chasing me.
I burst through it and careered through the kitchen and down the hall to Dad’s room. The door was open already and I could hear Joanna’s soothing voice talking to him.
“Dad!” I said, running into his room.
He laid on his bed, on his back, his skin the colour of milk except for a streak of blood down the left side of his face and a painful looking bump on his temple. He turned his head to look at me just as I rocked back on my heels, shocked at how dreadful he looked.
“What are you doing here?” he said, his voice hoarse and his lips tweaking up into the beginnings of a smile.
I approached the bed and smiled at Joanna, who sat at his side holding his hand. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it,” she said, standing up.
Taking her place, I took Dad’s hand in mine, sucking in a breath at how cold he was to the touch. “I think we should call an ambulance,” I said, pulling his duvet up over him.
“I’m hot,” Dad said, making a feeble attempt to push the duvet away.
“I’ve already called one,” Joanna said. “They should be here soon.”
I nodded to her and then turned back to Dad. “Dad, you’re freezing to the touch.”
“I’m hot,” he repeated.
I pressed the back of my hand to his forehead. Sure enough, his skin was sticky and hot to the touch. “The paramedics will be here soon.”
He rolled his eyes. “Don’t bother them. I’m fine.”
A lump caught in my throat and I fought back tears. I couldn’t let him see how upset I was.
“I think I’ll just take a little nap,” he said, his eyelids fluttering closed.
“No, Dad. You need to stay awake. You’ve had a nasty bump to the head. What were you doing?”
He furrowed his eyebrows together. “I can’t remember...”
I wrapped both of my hands around his, my instincts telling me to warm him up. Seconds later, I heard the front door open and close. Thinking it was the paramedics, I stood up to allow them access.
“Hey...”
I startled at the sound of Marcus’ voice. He put his hands on my shoulders and started kneading at the tension in my muscles. I didn’t have it in me to ask what the hell he was doing here. This was about Dad.
Just as I was about to sit back down, I heard Luke at the front door, welcoming the paramedics in. Marcus took my hand and pulled me away to give them all the room they needed.
A tall dark-haired man walked in, his face set into a grim look. “I’m David,” he said. “And this is my colleague, Emma.”
A petite blonde who couldn’t have been much more than five feet tall followed him in, a smile on her face. “What’s happened here?”
I looked at Joanna who then jumped into answering all their questions. From what she said, she hadn’t actually seen anything, just heard a bang and found him laid in the doorway. Guilt gnawed at me something chronic. I was his daughter and yet Joanna, an employee, was the one answering all their questions. It should have been me, I should have been here. I felt nothing but dreadful. Joanna shouldn’t have been put in a position like this.
I watched as Emma cleaned up the blood on Dad’s face and felt around the bump whilst David asked him questions.
“I think we should take him to the hospital for observation overnight. His vitals are stable but he seems confused and disorientated,” David said, glancing around the room at all of us.
I nodded.
“No,” Dad said. “No hospitals.”
“Dad,” I said. “You’re not well. It’s only for the night.”
“No.” He said it so firmly he started coughing. “I’m not going to die in a damn hospital.”
That was it for me—breaking point. I burst into tears. Marcus wrapped his arms around me and buried me into his chest. I couldn’t understand how Dad could be so ok with dying. Every time he closed his eyes, he didn’t know if he’d wake up again. The thought alone terrified me to my very soul. Yet, Dad seemed to not care. It seemed as easy for him as breathing.
“If he refuses to go, we can’t force him,” David said.
Marcus spoke, his voice vibrating through his chest. “I’ll stay up and monitor him all night. If I see any decline, I’ll take him to the hospital myself.”
I heard the paramedics packing up their stuff and giving Marcus a rundown on what to look out for. All the time, I concentrated on the steady beat of his heart, trying to time the space in between each beat.
Turning my head, I smiled at the paramedics and thanked them for coming. As Luke showed them out, I sucked in a deep breath and freed myself from Marcus’ embrace.
“Dad...” I said, my voice shaking as I approached him.
He held a frail hand up and glared at me. “No, Caitlyn. Now is not the time.”
“I was only going to say they know what they’re talking about, Dad. You don’t look well.”
He huffed. “Well then I finally look how I’ve felt for months.”
I bit my lip. Now was not the time to bring up yesterday morning’s argument in a snide comment. “Dad—”
“Caitlyn Eloise Morgan Summers, you drop this subject right now or so help me God I will banish you from this house until I’m worm food.”
My jaw dropped. Everyone froze. The silence became that profound, I swear I heard Joanna blink.
“I was only going to tell you I love you.”
I pushed my way past a dumbstruck Joanna and a stunned Luke, running back outside and into the comfort of my apartment. I wish someone could have warned me how hard this was going to be. Watching my dad decline on a daily basis had become the equivalent of my own cancer, eating away at my soul. My heart physically ached every day, a heavy dread sat in the middle of my chest, having pieces shredded off of it on an hourly basis.
Right now, I had no idea how the hell I was going to get through this.