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The next morning after taking care of his livestock, Billy and Steven went to the county sheriff’s department to file a restraining order against the Wheelers. While Billy still wasn’t sure this was a necessary step, the officer they spoke to seemed to think that the equipment they’d located on his land along with them issuing the threat and brandishing a concealed pistol at him were enough, especially since Steven had witnessed it all.
After leaving numerous messages, Billy still hadn’t heard from Eric, and worry had set in. He’d talked to the sheriff about filing a missing persons report but was told he’d have to wait a bit longer.
He hoped that Eric was just holed up with another friend, licking his wounds, or even better, burying his worries inside someone else, having some phenomenal gay sex as a means of revenge against the Wheelers.
They left and turned toward the base because Steven needed to check on some paperwork issues with Gage, the wing commander and ultimately his boss on base. Gage was also Felicia’s new boyfriend.
After clearing the gate guardhouse, Steven said, “You know, we could stay at my house here while Geoff is clearing all the surveillance equipment. I don’t know why I didn’t consider it last night.” They’d gone to Steven’s last night after Geoff had left so Steven could get his uniform for his meeting today, but it hadn’t even crossed either of their minds.
Billy chuckled lightly. “Because we were both stressed and exhausted.” They’d been too on edge after the revelations of the day for either of them to sleep well. It had been a long night. “But yeah, we might want to try that tonight.” Although if they slept at his base house, would that open Steven up to speculation about where Billy slept? It might be too big of a risk for the man who really wanted to stay deep in the closet.
How had Billy allowed himself to get mixed up in a relationship like this again? After Adam died, he had sworn, never again. The fallout from the death of his in-the-closet, live-in boyfriend when he was in college was something he had vowed never to experience again.
Also, he liked having Steven at his house, in his bed. Billy hadn’t realized just how possessive he could get, but having Steven in his space had opened up a whole new side of himself.
Steven was doing so much better, and if they stayed at his house, Billy worried that Steven might just decide to stay there. He wasn’t ready for to lose Steven. Not yet. He needed more time with the man who kept surprising him at every turn. He never would have thought that he’d have the chance at something more like they were exploring now. He didn’t want to do anything to endanger that.
Steven directed him to park his truck in the parking lot outside the wing headquarters.
“I’m sorry,” Steven said as he turned to him in the truck. Damn, the guy looked hot in his uniform. The green of the camouflage material matched the hazel sparks in his eyes perfectly. “I know this is going to be boring as hell for you.”
Billy was barely paying any attention to what Steven was saying, too lost in his fantasy of peeling that uniform off piece by piece. Billy’s dick began to fill with need.
“I have no idea how long it might take,” Steven finished.
“It’s no problem.” Billy lifted his phone. “I have a new book loaded on my Kindle app, so you can take all day if need be. I’ll be fine.” He winked at Steven. “Besides, I have plans for getting you out of that uniform after this, so I’ll wait as long as needed.”
Steven’s eyes darkened with interest. His gaze dropped to Billy’s groin, and he licked his lips. “Okay, that’s just mean when I have to go in there and act professional now.”
Billy chuckled and opened his door. He knew this meeting with Gage—the guy that Felicia had dumped him for—had to be uncomfortable. Maybe reminding him that he had someone else now, too, might make it a little bit easier.
They crossed the parking lot, and Steven had to return salutes to at least five other soldiers. Steven winced in pain on the last salute.
Dammit, lifting that arm on his injured side had to hurt like hell. “You shouldn’t have worn your uniform. Are you going to be able to do this?”
Steven grimaced. “Yeah, I wasn’t thinking about this part of it. Saluting is such an everyday thing. Luckily, we don’t salute inside. I hope no one calls the maintenance group to complain about my sloppy form.”
“They’d actually do that?”
Steven nodded to yet another young airman. “I’m an officer, so probably not, but it’s definitely not unheard of. Come on. Let’s just get in there.”
This whole world was unfamiliar to Billy. While he’d grown up in this military town, he’d never been in close contact with any of the soldiers. It was a completely new way of life, and except for the sexy as hell guys in uniforms—who were everywhere—he didn’t see the appeal.
***
STEVEN LEFT BILLY IN a chair outside the wing commander’s office as Gage’s secretary ushered him into the office. Sweat dripped down his spine, not because of the heat outside, but because he really hadn’t taken into account that he’d have to salute all day on base. His whole right side burned from the extra exertion. Holy hell. He couldn’t get away from the base fast enough.
As he entered Gage’s office, Gage began to stand, but Steven waved him down. “Stay seated. I’m about to collapse in that chair, so don’t make me stand any longer than needed.”
Gage had been shot as well, but he’d been shot in the thigh and was now sporting a couple of crutches and a broken leg. Neither one of them needed to stand by protocol right now.
Gage studied him. “How are you feeling? You look exhausted.”
Steven grimaced. “Yeah. I still can’t sleep lying down, so sleep is kind of hit or miss. Otherwise, I’m recovering. Staying out at Billy’s has been a big help. How about you and Felicia?” It didn’t even hurt anymore to put them together as a couple. It hadn’t been that long. Shouldn’t that rejection still hurt? But it didn’t.
“We’re good. Neither one of us was hurt as badly as you, so our recovery is a bit easier. And you know Felicia. There’s no keeping her down for long.”
The bullet that had torn through Steven’s chest had ended up in Felicia’s shoulder since he’d been standing in front of her trying—obviously unsuccessfully—to keep her from getting hurt when Dalton Kennedy lost it.
“Is she back at work at the vet clinic?” Steven asked, more out of politeness than a real necessity to know.
Gage nodded. “Yeah, but listen, I know you don’t need to waste your energy on idle chitchat. I wanted to call you in here today to let you know that I’ve pulled your separation paperwork.”
“What? Why would you do that?” That made no sense. He’d filed his paperwork to leave the Air Force a few days before getting shot. But his being shot should make it easier for the Air Force to let him go, not harder. It’s not like he’d be deployable for a long time, and to the Air Force, an undeployable soldier was a useless one.
Gage raised both his hands. “Hear me out. I had my reasons and discussed the issue with both your group commander and the med group commander. We all agreed this was the best thing for you, an officer who has served the Air Force well for the last sixteen years.”
Steven ground his teeth together, trying to contain his temper and hear what the colonel had to say.
“We think that with the nature of your injury and the fact that it was directly caused because of your leadership role within the Air Force, you can apply for a medical retirement instead of a separation.” Gage met Steven’s gaze with regret. “I want you to think about this, Steven. With the nature of your injury, you could have long-term health repercussions that you can’t foresee right now. With a medical retirement, you’ll keep your healthcare and get retirement benefits. You were getting out anyway, and I know that this will take a bit longer to process, but I honestly think it will be better for you in the long run.”
Steven slowly blew out a breath and nodded. “Okay, I can see your points.” While he just wanted to be done, he knew that he needed those medical benefits. He didn’t have another job lined up, and his injury would just make that process harder, too. Maybe this was a blessing of a sort. “Thank you, Colonel.”
His cell phone vibrated in his pocket, and he pulled it out, frowning at the screen. “It’s Colonel Vickers.” Lieutenant Colonel Lauren Vickers was his group commander in the maintenance squadron.
“Go ahead and answer it. It’s fine,” Gage said.
“Major Hardesty here,” Steven answered.
“Major, this is Colonel Vickers. I’m sorry to bother you while you’re on medical leave.”
“It’s okay. I’m actually in the wing commander’s office right now.”
“Oh, okay. Um, that works out better. Stay there. I’ll be there in five minutes.”
The line disconnected, and Steven frowned down at his cell phone.
“What is it?” Gage asked.
“I have no idea. Colonel Vickers is on her way over. She needs to see me about something.”
Gage tilted his head in question. “And she told you to stay here?”
“Yes, but she knows I’m not driving, so she probably is just trying to make it easier.”
Gage nodded. “That makes sense. Did Billy bring you in this morning?”
“Yeah, he’s out in the reception area, waiting for me.”
“Well, I think we’re done here for now. If I have your go-ahead, we’ll start the paperwork for the medical retirement.”
“Yeah. Okay. Thank you.”
Gage grabbed his crutches and stood. “It’s just part of my job, watching out for my personnel. How about we go out, and I can say hi to Billy while we wait for Lauren.”
They left Gage’s office. Billy stood when he saw them coming, and Steven was struck again in the solar plexus at Billy’s overwhelming presence. God, he was gorgeous...dark and handsome. The sight of him definitely stole Steven’s breath. He had it so bad for the guy. He just wanted to wrap himself around the man and stay that way. That wasn’t creepy at all, was it?
Gage and Billy were exchanging greetings, and Steven barely noticed as he was so taken with watching Billy move and gesticulate.
“Don’t you think so, Steven?” Gage asked, breaking him out of his reverie.
“Um, what?” Steven didn’t have a clue at what Gage had just said, so he nodded. “Sounds great.”
Humor lit up Billy’s eyes while Gage gave him a puzzled look. Billy knew exactly why he’d been distracted. Luckily, his group commander entered through the glass doors, so he didn’t have to explain.
She greeted Colonel Winston and nodded at Steven. “Colonel, is it okay if I borrow your office for a few minutes to speak to Major Hardesty?”
Steven saw a look of confusion cross Gage’s face, but he nodded. “Sure, feel free. I’ll stay out here and chat with Billy for a while. Have you met Billy Starr? He’s a friend of Felicia and Steven.”
Colonel Vickers reached across to shake Billy’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you. I know I saw you at the hospital, but we didn’t meet formally. I’m Lauren. Thank you for your help in taking care of the Major. I know it’s been a relief for the entire base to know that he has a friend looking out for him while he’s recovering.”
Billy nodded and started to say something, but the colonel cut him off. “I’m sorry. I’m late for a meeting, and I really need to speak to the Major. I look forward to talking to you at a later time.”
She wasn’t usually so rude. What the hell was going on?
She turned to Steven. “Major, if you will?” She waved him into the office and closed the door behind them.
Her terse attitude gave a really bad feeling low in his gut. She joined him in the chair beside him instead of her sitting behind Gage’s desk, and that feeling of dread grew stronger.
“Major, there’s really no easy way to ease into this, and I am really running late.” She took a deep breath. “Right before I called you, I received a Red Cross notification for you.”
Red Cross was the official notification agency that worked with the military when a family member died. All the blood stopped flowing to Steven’s limbs as fear raced through his veins. Who had died?
“Tawna Rutledge died two days ago in a car wreck. It’s taken a bit of time for her people to figure out how to contact you.”
Tawna Rutledge? That name didn’t even sound vaguely familiar. “Um, beg pardon, Colonel, but I don’t think I know a Tawna Rutledge.”
Colonel Vickers frowned and checked her phone. “That’s the name I have. The paperwork says she was the mother for your seven-year-old daughter, Laynie.”
Blood began to rush through his ears and he couldn’t hear anything else. His chest grew tight, and suddenly, breathing became impossible.
I don’t have a daughter. Do I?
“Major? Steven?” Colonel Vickers crouched in front of him as he struggled to catch his breath.
Oh, god. He knew he had to relax, but with the shock and ensuing inability to breathe, he couldn’t get enough air to come into his lungs. And the harder breathing became, the more he panicked, making it all that much worse. He held a hand up to her to show her he just needed a minute to get back in control of his body that was trying to rebel against him.
Daughter. Another person who was a part of him. He couldn’t even take care of himself right now. How could he be a father to someone else?
He couldn’t breathe.
“Colonel Winston, I need your help,” she yelled.
Gage and Billy rushed into the room.
“What happened?” Gage asked.
“Red Cross notification,” Colonel Vickers said.
Daughter. How was that even possible?
“Damn. On top of everything else going on right now?” Gage murmured.
Daughter. A family. His eyes sought out Billy.
Their words floated around his head, but he could only focus on Billy, who’d crouched in front of him and grabbed hold of his chin. “Breathe with me, Steven. You know how to do this. Take slow, steady, shallow breaths. The air is getting in your lungs. You know this. You can feel it. Just concentrate on following how I’m breathing, and you copy the movement.”
Daughter. His shoulders tightened.
Steven’s head kept spinning around to what Colonel Vickers just told him, and every time it landed on the word daughter, his tension ratcheted back up. There was no way that was possible, was it? He couldn’t have a child in this world and not know about it. It just wasn’t possible.
Spots had begun to encroach on his vision when he finally shut his eyes and did the exercises that his doctor had prescribed for him, imagining the air coming into his lungs and then back out. How could something that he’d done just by instinct for thirty-eight years become to feel so foreign to him?
But slowly his heart rate and his breathing both slowed down, getting under control again.
He opened his eyes.
Billy’s worried gaze searched his. “Are you okay?”
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, sorry.” He shook his head, trying to make sense of it all. He glanced up. Both Colonel Vickers and Gage frowned as they watched him with Billy. He suddenly realized how close the two of them stood together, so he took a step back.
A flash of hurt crossed Billy’s expression.
He had to get control of the situation. Everything felt like it was spinning away from him. “I’m sorry, ma’am. I’m confused. I don’t have a daughter,” he whispered.
“I wondered about that.” Colonel Vickers blew out a breath and exchanged a look he couldn’t read with the wing commander. “Well, according to the Red Cross you do, and her mother just died, so they’re expecting you to arrive and take custody of the girl. I have a contact number for you to call. They should be able to give you more information.” She typed a few things into her phone. “Okay, I’ve emailed you a copy of everything I have.”
She glanced over at the wall clock. “I’m sorry to drop all this in your lap and just run, Major, but I am late for a meeting. Keep me informed with what’s happening. If you need to travel to Texas, I’ll get a rush on your leave paperwork for you.”
“That’s where she is? My...” His throat grew tight and his hands were freezing. “Umm...daughter?”
Billy’s eyes grew wide as he glanced over at the colonel now, too.
“Yes.” Colonel Vickers nodded. “In Midland, Texas. Whatever happens, Major, we’re all here for you. You’ve had a rough month, but the maintenance group will provide whatever help you might need.” She sent a quick half smile to Billy that sent a frisson of alarm through Steven.
Had she seen how close they’d become? Was it obvious to everyone around them that they’d become lovers?
Oh, god, could he really have a daughter?
“Thank you, Colonel,” he mumbled and then stared at his phone as it signaled that he had a new email. It had to be the information that Colonel Vickers just sent. Information that changed absolutely everything.
He might have a daughter.