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Darcy had been home from America for a week and nothing seemed to break the depression and loneliness she felt.
The first thing she'd done was sign the change of custody papers. Laura had suggested she wait, but Darcy was adamant. In her mind, Travis was now Brooke's legal guardian.
As her office was officially closed until mid-January, she had no secretarial work, so she kept herself busy doing housework, gardening, walking on the beach, anything to take her mind off Brooke and Travis. Several times she'd done a whole load of baking only to realize she'd have to freeze it as she wouldn't be able to eat it all herself.
Every time the phone rang, she answered it breathlessly, convinced it would be Travis, but it never was. She became even more depressed when she realized that neither Travis nor Brooke missed her enough to call her. The day before Christmas Eve, the phone rang and Darcy picked up the receiver then stood and stared at it, frozen into immobility by hope.
"Darcy! Darcy, are you there?"
Darcy had been holding her breath but she released it in a disappointed sigh when she heard Phil Callaghan's voice.
"Yes, I'm here, Phil."
"I wondered if you'd like to go out for a meal tonight?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Phil. I'm not really up to socialising at the moment."
"All the more reason to have a quiet dinner with me. Go on, Darcy. It'll do you good to get out."
Against her better judgement, Darcy agreed to go, but her heart wasn't in it as she dressed that evening. She picked out the first thing she put her hands on instead of choosing her clothes carefully as she'd done when spending an evening with Travis.
Phil arrived promptly and kept up a pleasant but non-threatening conversation while driving to the restaurant. He behaved like a perfect gentleman — helping her from the car, pulling out her chair for her, and enquiring what type of wine she would like.
"Darcy, I'd like to apologize for the last time we met. You probably realized I'd had a bit too much to drink. I'm really sorry. I behaved like a right jerk."
"It doesn't matter, Phil."
"But it does. Your friend must have wondered what type of people you associate with." Phil licked his lips nervously. "Someone said you'd gone to America with him and came back without Brooke. I hope everything's all right."
Suddenly the past few weeks crashed into focus for Darcy and she struggled to her feet and rushed from the restaurant.
"Darcy, wait!" Phil called after her, but she paid him no attention and hurried up the Bay Hill to the piazza. When she reached the railing, she gripped it tightly with both hands and allowed the tears to flow. Brooke had gone. Travis had gone. She was all alone.
"Darcy, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Perhaps it would help if you talked about it." Phil put his hands on her shoulders and tried to turn her round, but she clung to the rails.
"He was Brooke's father." She choked out when the sobs abated. "He'd only recently found out about her and had come to meet her and get custody of her. Now she's living in America with him. I've got nobody now." The tears flowed again and this time Phil managed to unlock her fingers from the rail and pull her into his shoulder.
"Hush, Darcy. You have got somebody. You've got me. I'll always be here for you."
He started stroking her head, trying to soothe her, and the movement had a hypnotic effect on her. The sobs eased and she took comfort in his caress, but she gradually realized his movement had stopped being a comfort and had become demanding.
"No, Phil." She lifted her head and tried to pull away from him.
"Come on, Darcy, you don't have to worry now. Brooke's not your responsibility anymore." He pulled her towards him in a strong grip and she struggled to escape. He released one hand to raise it to touch her breast and at last she managed to break his hold on her. "This is just what you need."
"Stay away from me you — you sex maniac! Just because I'm upset doesn't give you the right to maul me. I'd advise you to keep away from me in future, because I never want to see you again."
He reached out to stop her, but she evaded his grasp and ran to the edge of the road. Luckily a taxi was cruising past and Darcy waved it down and demanded the driver take her home.
*****
NEXT MORNING, DARCY felt awful. Her sleep had been haunted by her tussle with Phil and images of Brooke and Travis having a wonderful time while she stood in the background, completely ignored by them. She dressed in shorts and a tee-shirt and sat at the kitchen table nursing a mug of coffee and her misery. The doorbell rang and she jumped, and then sighed. Probably Phil come to make a second apology. Now it was daylight, she knew exactly how to handle him and she went to the front door, a determined look on her face.
"I thought I told you I didn't want to see you again." She threw the door wide, and then her mouth dropped open with astonishment.
"Darcy!" Brooke screamed excitedly, as she threw herself into her aunt's arms.
"I hope you didn't mean you don't want to see us again." Travis brought their bags inside and closed the front door. "Because you're going to be disappointed. We've come for—"
"Let me! Let me!" Brooke interrupted. "We've come to spend Christmas with you, Darcy. I told Daddy it wouldn't be a proper Christmas without you. What's to eat? I'm starving."
"You know where the cake tin is, hon." Darcy laughed as Brooke gave her a quick hug and disappeared off to the kitchen. Daddy? She mouthed at Travis.
"Tell you later," he murmured, keeping his voice low.
They made coffee and took it out onto the deck whilst Brooke told her aunt what had happened since she'd left San Diego.
"And when I told Daddy I wanted to spend Christmas with you and him, he said he'd try and arrange it. We decided to make it a surprise for you. You were surprised, weren't you?"
"More than surprised. Astonished. Astounded. You name it, that was me."
"And it's all right if Daddy stays here, isn't it? He can sleep in Grams' old room."
"Yes, of course that's okay. It might need a bit of sorting out though. We haven't used it for a few years." Darcy sounded calm, but her insides were flowing like liquid lava as she invited the man she loved to spend a few days under the same roof as herself. How was she going to manage this situation? Unfortunately, she had no choice. She could hardly expect her niece's father to go to a hotel.
"Can I ring Minnie and ask her round?"
"As long as it's all right with your father." Darcy glanced at Travis.
"Why don't you ask Minnie if you can go to her house for a visit?" Travis suggested. "You've got presents for her and her family and photos to show them. I'll drop you over there and pick you up later. Is that okay?"
Brooke hurried off to ring Minnie, and reappeared a few moments later with the gifts and photos, and announced she was ready to go. Within minutes, the front door had slammed behind them leaving Darcy wondering if she had dreamt the whole thing. Apparently not as their bags were still sitting in the hall.
Knowing it wouldn't take Travis long to drop Brooke at Minnie's, she hurried to her mother's old room. When she'd told Brooke it needed sorting, she'd forgotten that in the past week she'd done a lot of spring cleaning to keep herself occupied, so the room was clean and tidy. It just needed the bed to be made up. By the time Travis returned, both the spare room bed and Brooke's had been prepared and Darcy had moved the bags.
"You shouldn't have done that," Travis said when he saw what she'd done. "You should have left them for me to carry through."
"It's done now." Darcy felt nervous now she was alone with him. "Would you like another cup of coffee?"
"No, thanks. I would like to talk to you though. Shall we sit on the deck?"
Darcy led the way, her nerves in a state of panic, although she knew the fear was of her own making.
"Tell me about Brooke calling you daddy."
"When we found you'd gone, she was pretty upset. She called me daddy without thinking about it and she's done it ever since."
"Was she very upset?"
"Only for a short while." He saw the look on her face and quickly added, "The reason she wasn't too upset was because we started planning this trip almost immediately. She knew she'd be seeing you before too long. I managed to get her to understand why you'd gone without saying goodbye, even though I didn't really get it myself."
"I thought the time had come for me to let go. As I said in my note, it was better if there wasn't any dramatic crying scene."
"Okay, I accept that you did it for the best, although it was hard on Brooke and me." He looked at her intently. "What we have to sort out now is how we're going to manage to keep you in Brooke's life."
"It isn't possible, Travis, except by phone calls and letters. There's no way I can keep coming to America and your business would suffer if you had to come to New Zealand every few months. Besides, Brooke needs to get used to her new life with you." Darcy found it hard to keep from choking on the final words, even though she knew them to be the truth.
"Let's leave it until after Christmas." He looked at his watch. "Do you think it's too late to go shopping? I'd like to get Brooke a few stocking stuffers."
Christmas! Tomorrow was Christmas and Darcy hadn't got any presents for Brooke or Travis. She'd expected to be on her own and had only bought a small chicken for tomorrow, with a microwave pudding for dessert.
"Darcy, what's wrong?"
"Christmas dinner," she wailed. "I haven't got a thing in."
"Then it's a good thing I'm here." He grinned at her. "I told Minnie's mum we'd pick Brooke up later this afternoon so we've got several hours free. Let's go shopping."
They spent a few happy hours dashing from one store to another with only one disagreement. They'd finished the grocery shopping and had most of the things for stocking fillers when Travis suddenly pulled her over to the perfume counter.
"I'd like to buy you something personal." He picked up and sniffed a tester for perfume that Darcy knew to be very expensive. "This smells great. What do you think?"
"It's not really me." She barely sniffed the spot on her wrist where he'd touched it with the tester. "I don't wear perfume very much."
"How about jewellery? I saw a nice necklace in the window next door."
"Honestly, Travis, you don't have to buy me anything. It's enough that you brought Brooke to spend Christmas with me."
"Okay, let's go back to the car then."
He gave in so quickly that Darcy felt disappointed. He might have tried a bit harder to persuade her. Suddenly she realized she hadn't bought him a present.
"Travis, I've just remembered Brooke mentioned several months ago that she'd like a particular outfit for her doll. Would you mind waiting for me while I nip back and get it?" She was already moving away as she spoke.
"How long will you be? Do I need to put more money in the meter?" Travis called after her.
"I'll be about fifteen minutes," she called out as she disappeared around the corner.
When Darcy arrived back at the car carrying a large wrapped parcel, Travis wasn't anywhere to be seen. She stood looking round for a few moments, wondering where he'd got to, then she saw him coming towards her.
"Sorry, I popped into the computer shop to pass the time." He looked at the parcel strangely as he unlocked the car door. "Have we finished now?"
"Yes, I think that's all the presents. Now all we need to do is wrap them, but we'll have to do that when Brooke's in bed."
*****
WHEN BROOKE ARRIVED home, she was almost too tired to eat her dinner and Travis bundled her off to bed as soon as she'd had her bath, then they sat down to wrap the presents. He produced a bottle of white wine and the evening became relaxed and comforting as they sat on the floor working together to make a happy Christmas for the little girl they both adored.
As they wrapped the last present, Travis leaned back against a chair and sighed.
"I never knew what my parents went through to make Christmas such a happy time."
"I know." Darcy returned the grin. "I said the same thing when Brooke began to get old enough for real presents. My mother said that every parent has the same feeling when it comes to making their children happy."
"You mentioned you had nobody but Kelly and your mother. It seems rather ironic that the sole relation we both have is Brooke."
Darcy thought the conversation seemed to be getting too personal, and she quickly began to collect the scraps of wrapping paper from the floor. Travis watched her for a moment, before he began to stack the presents under the tree.
"What time do you think Brooke will get up in the morning?" he asked.
"Early." Darcy groaned. "Usually as soon as it's light. You'll know she's up by the exaggerated way she tries to be quiet."
"In that case, I think it's time I said goodnight." He rose and stretched his tall frame. "It's been a very long day for me. See you in the morning, Darcy."
She stood in the middle of the lounge, clutching Christmas wrapping paper to her breast and watched him leave the room. It felt as if he was leaving her life forever and she didn't understand why she felt like this, and then the reason struck her. Almost from the first moment she'd met him, she'd been attracted to him. All right, in love with him, and the pretence of dating him had become real to her. Now he had come back into her life in his true guise. As Brooke's father. Not her pretend lover. He was friendly to her for Brooke's sake, but there was no romance between them and she felt as if half of her had been ripped away.
He'd obviously given up on the idea of them getting married for Brooke's sake, but he was right about one thing. They had to come up with some way to keep her as part of Brooke's life. The past few weeks had shown her that without her niece, nothing seemed worthwhile.
Disconsolately, she threw the wrapping paper in the bin, longing to turn everything off and go to bed, but knowing that first, she had to put the finishing touches to her present for Travis.
*****
"YES!"
Brooke's yell shocked Darcy from a deep sleep. Dazedly, she opened her eyes and realized it was very early. With a weary groan, she got up and moved towards the door, intending to join her niece in the lounge, until she remembered the presence of Travis who had almost certainly been woken by the same yell. Hurriedly she donned a tee-shirt and shorts and dragged the brush through her hair before leaving her room.
"Hon, do you know what time it is?"
"Sit down," Travis called from the kitchen. "I'm making a pot of coffee."
Darcy sank thankfully into an armchair and watched her niece tear open her presents. At first Darcy thought the gifts from Travis were expensive, but she soon realized there were only a few like that. The others had more thought than money behind them.
Brooke exclaimed over everything, thanking both her father and aunt with equal enthusiasm. By the time she'd unwrapped everything, they had finished the coffee and Darcy realized she was beginning to feel hungry.
"Breakfast," she declared, rising from her chair.
"But you and Daddy haven't opened your presents yet," Brooke objected.
"After breakfast, hon."
"Oh, Darcy!"
"Darcy's right, Brooke. It's time for breakfast. We oldies don't function too well without food inside us."
Darcy didn't know whether to be amused or annoyed by being classed as an oldie, but it was Christmas morning, so she let it pass.
After breakfast, Brooke again wanted them to open their presents, but Travis surprised Darcy by insisting they all help get the festive meal prepared before any more gifts were revealed.
"In fact, I think it might be better if Darcy and I opened ours after we've eaten the turkey. Let's go for a walk and blow away the cobwebs once we've got the bird in the oven."
Brooke didn't seem too happy with her father's suggestion, but Darcy was pleased to note that her niece accepted Travis was not to be persuaded in this instance.
A walk was just what they needed and they returned to the house full of sunshine and energy. The smell of roasting turkey met them as Darcy opened the door and she hurried to the kitchen to baste the bird and put the vegetables on to boil.
*****
"THAT WAS ABSOLUTELY delicious." Travis ate the last mouthful and put down his knife and fork. "You're a marvellous cook, Darcy."
"Are you going to open your presents now?" Brooke asked excitedly.
"Let's clear the table first, then we'll get on with it." Travis grinned at his daughter and she grinned back, making Darcy wonder if they had some secret they weren't letting her in on.
"Okay, Brooke, you can be master of ceremonies and give out the presents. Ladies first." Travis sat in the chair beside Darcy as Brooke carefully picked up a gift and brought it to her aunt.
"That one's from me." She jiggled up and down impatiently as she waited for Darcy to undo the wrapping.
Inside the fancy wrapping, Darcy found a box filled with tissue paper. Carefully she searched until she found a beautiful glass kiwi nestled in the depths.
"Brooke, it's beautiful." She found it hard to breathe she was so delighted with the present.
"I picked it out for you myself," Brooke told her importantly. "Daddy let me choose and I know you always look at the glass animals in the window when you go to town."
"It's gorgeous, hon, I love it." Darcy gave her niece a quick hug and a kiss, and the beaming girl trotted off to get another present.
"This one's yours, Daddy."
Brooke's present to her father was a glass kea the same size as Darcy's kiwi.
"I thought it would be nice if you had something the same."
"But how did you buy this, Brooke? You only arrived in the country yesterday." Darcy was puzzled. The ornaments weren't the type of thing for a child to buy on her own.
"I'm afraid Brooke is guilty of a bit of subterfuge." Travis laughed. "When we changed planes at Auckland Airport yesterday, she wanted to buy a present for you and I gave the salesman my credit card number and left her to it. I had no idea you were so devious, you little minx."
Brooke giggled as her father caught her and tickled her. For Darcy, it was a bittersweet moment. She was glad to see them so happy together, but she felt so alone. Brooke no longer needed her.
*****
TRAVIS WATCHED THE flow of emotions cross Darcy's face. He wasn't sure if she'd been pleased to see him, or whether it was Brooke who brought the happy glow to her eyes. He would find out soon enough what was on her mind, but in the meantime there were still presents to open.
"This is from me." Darcy quietly handed him a large square package. "It's not much, but..."
"If it's from you, it means a lot." Travis smiled at her, making no effort to open the gift.
"Open it, Daddy, let's see what it is!"
Carefully Travis peeled back the paper. Inside he found a large frame containing a montage of photos of Brooke. They ranged from babyhood to the present. Shocked into silence, Travis allowed his gaze to travel from one photo to another. There before him lay the eight years of his daughter's life that he had missed.
"I don't know how to thank you," he said at last. "This means more to me than the most expensive present in the world. Thank you, Darcy."
He leaned across the chairs to kiss her. He meant to kiss her on her cheek, but she turned her head and his lips ended up on her ear.
"Now we've finished opening presents, what shall we do for the rest of the afternoon?" Darcy said brightly to hide the tears which threatened to spill down her cheeks.
"Daddy!" Brooke sounded as if she was telling her father off.
"Oh yes, my present to Darcy." Travis grinned. "It's that flat one, Brooke."
With a frown for her father, Brooke picked up the parcel her father had indicated and handed it to Darcy.
"Thank you." Darcy stripped off the wrapping, eager to see what Travis had bought her.
"I saw the way you looked at the one I bought for Brooke, so thought you might like one, too," Travis said as the paper came off and a long slim box with a picture of a scanner emerged.
He watched her spirits visibly drop and wondered if she'd expected something a bit more personal.
"Time for another walk to get rid of all that turkey." Travis winked at his daughter, who made a funny face and rushed off to get her shoes.
*****
TRAVIS PUT BROOKE TO bed that evening and Darcy heard a lot of whispering coming from the bedroom, but when he came and sat down beside Darcy on the sofa, he seemed unconcerned by his daughter's obvious impatience.
"You were disappointed by your present from me, weren't you?" He took hold of her hand.
"Don't be silly, I told you seeing Brooke was enough present for me." She tried to pull her hand away but he held it fast. The last thing she wanted was for him to realize how upset his gift had made her. His present had been so impersonal, it had proved to her that he had no strong feelings for her.
"Darcy, when I asked you to marry me, I forgot to tell you I love you." Frantically she tugged at her hand, but he wouldn't let go. "No, you are staying here until I've said what I have to say. Brooke told me off. She said you have to be told something or you don't believe it's true." He stared intensely into her eyes. "Darcy, I still want you to marry me. I love you, Darcy. I came to claim my daughter, but you crept into my heart."
For a moment, she allowed herself to believe his words, but then her common sense took over.
"Travis, I know you mean well, but I also realize you're only saying that to try and persuade me to marry you — but I can't. You wouldn't have thought of telling me you loved me if Brooke hadn't put the idea into your head. I won't marry you just for the sake of Brooke. I have to love the man I intend to spend the rest of my life with."
"Maybe this will help you believe I'm telling the truth."
Darcy had been staring at her clenched hands, unwilling to look into his eyes. Now he pulled them apart and covered her left hand with one of his own. She felt something slide onto her finger, and when he drew back, her ring finger blazed with a dazzling display of light.
Slowly she lifted her hand to her face, her eyes wide with disbelief. She glanced across at the smiling Travis and knew he'd thought he'd done the thing she wanted. He didn't love her at all. It was obvious he'd do anything to keep Brooke happy, even go to the extent of a loveless marriage. She'd have to refuse. Frantically she pulled at her finger, trying to dislodge the ring.
"I can't accept it, I can't." Her voice rose hysterically. "I won't marry you. I don't love you."
*****
TRAVIS ALMOST GAVE up. Almost, but for both their sakes, and also Brooke's, he had to give it one last try. He stood and pulled her to stand in front of him. Holding her squirming body tightly in his arms, he kissed her.
At first she fought him, fists pummelling against his shoulders as she tried to make him let her go. Gradually, exhaustion forced her to relax and her lips softened and responded to his embrace. Her arms reached up and twined around his neck pulling him closer to her. Travis loosened his tight grip and one hand caressed her back, her neck and then reached up to gently trace a finger round her ear and down her chin.
She gasped and their kiss became more explosive as she demanded more from him, but he pulled away from her, although his hands still held her by the upper arms.
"Don't you dare say you don't love me." He gazed deep into her eyes. "That kiss proves your true feelings. Why won't you marry me, Darcy?"
*****
TIRED OF ALWAYS TRYING to be one step ahead in the ongoing argument, Darcy sank to the sofa. As Travis released her arms and sat beside her, she started to speak, slowly at first, but the words came faster and faster as if she was trying to get them all out before she changed her mind.
"You're right, I do love you, but I can't marry you, Travis. You only asked me because you felt it would be a good solution to the problem of Brooke's custody. It's not necessary. I've already signed the change of custody papers. In any case, your plan would only work for a while. Eventually, you'd meet someone else and we'd end up in the divorce courts or tearing each other to pieces because we'd feel unable to separate because of Brooke. I can't do that to Brooke or myself, or you, for that matter."
"Darcy, you're wrong, I do love you."
"Stop it, Travis! I know you're trying to be kind but how can you possibly love a nobody like me? I haven't got money and don't move in the same circles you do. Besides, I'm not sure I want to leave my home and go and live in America. I like living in Timaru." Darcy had no more to say and the tears had been flowing for some time. Travis cradled her in his arms, talking to her quietly as he waited for the tears to stop.
"Darcy, when will you accept I love you as you are? I know you love me — you can't deny that — but I love you, too. I love the way you don't let me get away with anything. I love the way you've brought Brooke up. I even love the way you insist on having the last word. Tell me the truth. Do you honestly want to stay in Timaru for the rest of your life?"
"Do you really love me?" Darcy raised her tear stained face and looked at Travis.
"Yes, I love you." Travis spoke softly, careful not to frighten her.
"It's not that I don't want to ever leave Timaru." Darcy sniffed to get rid of the tears. "But I don't like the idea of uprooting myself to dash off to America. I'd rather get to know each other first. What happens if we find in six months we've made a mistake? I'd have nothing, and I'm not being selfish. When I say nothing, I mean I wouldn't have you or Brooke."
At first she thought Travis was mad at her. He had lowered his head into his hands and his shoulders were shaking.
"Travis. I didn't mean to make you angry. I'm sorry." She placed a hand on his shoulder and he raised his head and looked at her.
"I'm sorry, Darcy." He couldn't keep the laughter in any longer and it exploded in a loud guffaw.
"What's so darned funny?" Darcy demanded. "Here I am pouring my heart out to you and all you can do is laugh at me?"
"I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the circumstances." Travis made a definite effort to calm himself, and he wiped the tears of laughter from his eyes before he continued. "You see, several months ago, before I even realized I had a daughter, I put in a bid for a job here in New Zealand. A few days ago, I had it confirmed in writing that the job was mine. I'll be working in New Zealand for at least the next twelve months, so that shoots down the last of your arguments. Now then, woman, will you or won't you marry me?"
"Well." Darcy pretended to think about it, although her heart was singing with joy. She quickly stopped pretending when he growled menacingly at her. "Okay, okay. Travis Denton, you are the most infuriating man I've ever met. You make me so mad at times, but then you make my knees go weak. You want to know if I'll marry you. The answer is — yes."
"Yes!"
They grinned at each other as Darcy's answer was repeated out in the hall, followed by a gentle thumping. Darcy put her finger to her lips and the two of them crept over to the partly opened door. In the hallway Brooke was doing a jig of happiness with a big grin on her face. Brooke saw they were watching her and she caught hold both of their arms. Darcy saw Brooke's face glow with happiness as her niece looked happily up at her father and her aunt.
"Now we can be a real family," the child announced.