IT WAS NICE having Cal around. He’d helped her take those first tentative steps yesterday morning, which marked her commitment to making a full recovery from her operation, instead of one that was just good enough. Afterwards, he hadn’t minded wrapping little treats and gifts for the wedding while Andrea caught up with her emails.
The more normal routine of bumps, bruises, strains and the odd cut had reasserted itself in the medical suite. Tomas was managing perfectly well without her so Andrea could get on with her preparations for the wedding.
Monday dawned bright and clear, a perfect day for skiing. Andrea sat at her dressing table, carefully smoothing oil onto her scars.
She hadn’t done that in a while, either. Sometimes the operation scar pulled a little and she’d started to just ignore it, along with the other jagged scar from the accident. But now she felt a little more conscious of them both. She just hadn’t looked before, hadn’t considered the possibility that the appearance of her scars could be improved. Why bother, when everything else was in ruins around her? Now, the possibility of something more shone brightly in the distance. A long way away, still, but it was there.
‘We’re not going to mention the W-E-D-D-I-N-G, today,’ Maggie announced when the four of them were assembled in the reception area at the hotel. ‘We’re taking a break.’
Joe pulled a face of mock despair. ‘You want a break already? We’re not even married yet.’
‘Not from you.’ Maggie planted a kiss on his cheek. ‘From everything else. Andrea and I have been working really hard to get everything organised. There’s so much to think about.’
‘Fair enough. I’m sure we’ve been doing a lot too, eh, Cal?’
Cal scratched his nose, grinning. ‘Choosing the waistcoats was a tough one.’
‘Yeah. Yeah, that was particularly gruelling.’
They might joke about it, but Cal had been there for her, just as much as Joe had been there for Maggie. And maybe it would be good to take a break from talking about the wedding, just for today.
They’d decided on a one-day ski tour, which would take them on an easy route up into the mountains, and then back down again at sunset. The group of ten was led by Francine and Bruno, who set off at the head of the party.
Out here in the mountains was the perfect place to forget about everything. The pace was brisk enough to keep everyone occupied, but there was time to stop and catch their breath, and to appreciate the snowscape around them.
‘How are you doing?’ Cal too seemed to have left his worries back at the hotel. A warm beanie and wraparound reflective sunglasses, along with the fact that he hadn’t shaved this morning, gave him a relaxed air.
‘Fine.’ Andrea knew the real intent of his question. ‘My shoulder didn’t hurt this morning, but I’ve put a support on, just as a precaution.’
They trekked together silently, up a long, steep slope. At the top, Francine called a halt for everyone to rest and admire the view.
‘It’s difficult, isn’t it? Now that Maggie’s put an embargo on mentioning the you-know-what, it’s all I can think about.’
‘What, out here? Cal, look around you.’
‘Yeah, I know.’ He laughed, propping his sunglasses on the rim of his hat. ‘It’s beautiful.’
He swung round, his gaze finding hers, just for a moment, but there was no question about his intended meaning. She was beautiful, too. Even after all she’d shown him of the uglier side of her life, he thought her beautiful.
‘Cal, I’ve been thinking...and I want to apologise.’
‘Again? What have you done this time?’
‘I didn’t make things very easy for you when you arrived. You were only trying to help.’
He grinned. ‘I like a challenge.’
‘Don’t, Cal... I know I behaved badly.’ The thought had been preying on Andrea’s mind for days.
‘You were protecting yourself. And I didn’t respect that.’ He turned the corners of his mouth down. ‘You really don’t have anything to apologise for.’
‘Perhaps I should think a bit more carefully about who I choose to protect myself from.’ The look in his eyes told Andrea that she’d been right in feeling that this was a sore spot for Cal. He really didn’t like the thought that Andrea had been protecting herself from him, and when she thought about it, Andrea didn’t much like it either.
‘I’ll leave you to make those decisions. And in the meantime, I’m going to take a leaf out of Maggie’s book and ban a word. Today isn’t a day to be S-O-R-R-Y about anything.’
It wasn’t. Cal stayed by her side as they trekked further into the mountains, making tracks in the fresh snow. It was enough that he was there. Everything was all right between them, and the silence warmed her.
Bruno had gone on ahead, and by the time they reached the log cabin he’d lit the wood-burning stove. Thick soup was bubbling in a pan, and the cabin was warming up.
Joe and Cal were arguing amicably about something and Maggie slipped her arm around Andrea’s. ‘I can see why you love it here. It’s so...fresh. Clean. It’s a good place for new starts.’
Maggie had made a new start. She was putting the cancer behind her, along with all the pain and worry it had brought. She and Joe were solid, and all they’d been through together had only brought them closer.
‘It’s a great place for new starts. Perfect for a...’ Andrea stopped herself before she said it. ‘A you-know-what.’
Maggie chuckled. ‘Glad you’re keeping to the rules. Yes, I’m glad we decided on here. Not least because you’re here and we can spend some time together. I miss you.’
‘I’ll be back. I’m not sure when...’
‘I know. That’s okay. In the meantime, I can still miss you, can’t I?’ Maggie grinned at her friend.
It was on the tip of Andrea’s tongue, but she didn’t say it. She was beginning to think she might leave here sooner than Maggie thought, but she wasn’t quite ready to make any firm decisions yet. It was as Cal had said. Building new muscle took time, and that applied to emotional muscle as well.
‘Yes, you can miss me. I miss you too.’
They spent an hour at the cabin, leaving it spick and span for the next group who would be arriving. Francine pulled a large block of chocolate from her pack, leaving it by the stove to replace the one that had been opened and shared around amongst the party.
It was all perfectly timed. The sun was going down as they reached a high ridge above the hotel and they stopped to take it all in. Golden light bathed the mountain tops, as the valleys became dark with shadow. Maggie flung her arms around Joe’s neck, kissing him.
‘There’s one for the board.’ Cal had taken his camera from the pouch inside his jacket and he showed Andrea the small display screen at the back. He’d caught their friends in an embrace, silhouetted against the sunset.
‘That’s gorgeous. Does that mean we can take down the one of Maggie and me having a water fight, and replace it with this?’ Two little girls, both soaked to the skin and still trying to get each other even wetter than they already were.
‘No. I particularly like that one; something else is going to have to go.’ Cal put his camera back into the pouch. He didn’t take many photographs, nor did he walk around with his camera in his hand all the time. But from time to time, he’d see something that he knew would make a good photograph and take the shot.
‘You’re not going to take any more?’
Cal shook his head. ‘That was the one I wanted. I’d prefer to just enjoy this first hand.’
He put his arm around her shoulders. The way a good friend might do. Cal wasn’t a good friend or a lover—they hadn’t known each other long enough for either—but it felt right somehow. As if that was where she belonged.
‘Maggie’s watching...’
He chuckled. ‘Fair enough. Is she taking photographs?’
‘No. She isn’t as bold as we are.’
He was very close. Andrea could almost feel Maggie’s gaze boring into the back of her head, but her friend was too far away to see exactly what was happening between her and Cal. And Joe would surely keep her from borrowing Francine’s binoculars...
Somehow it didn’t seem right. Cal’s kisses were wonderful, but it was the bond of honesty that had been formed between them that made them so special. And kissing out here, in front of everyone, wouldn’t be honest because they’d both decided that they couldn’t contemplate a relationship.
His gaze held hers for several heartbeats. The span of a kiss, and then another. Then they turned together towards the sunset.
As the sun disappeared behind the mountains, a spark in the half-light drew Cal’s attention. ‘What’s Bruno doing?’
‘Wait and see. They always do this...’ One of the other instructors from the hotel had come up to meet them, carrying four long torches, which Bruno had staked into the snow. When he lit them, flames jumped high into the air.
Francine took two of them, and Bruno the other two. They looked at each other nodding a countdown, and at the same moment they both launched themselves onto the slope.
It was a complex fire dance that never failed to thrill Andrea. The instructors all prided themselves on it and practised regularly, but all the artifice of balance and co-ordination was subsumed in the magic of trails of fire that wound their way down in the darkness. She took Cal’s arm and snuggled against him. He was the only person she wanted to share this with.
Francine and Bruno reached the bottom and everyone cheered and applauded. The third instructor was giving out electric torches so the trekkers could hold them up as they descended, and at the bottom of the slope Bruno threw one of his flaming torches theatrically in the air, spinning it like a Catherine wheel.
‘Andrea... Andrea!’ Maggie and Joe were making their way towards her, Maggie waving excitedly.
‘Wasn’t that wonderful? Do you think... I don’t want to impose but...might they do that for the wedding?’
‘Don’t mention the wedding!’ Both she and Cal chorused the words, and Joe laughed.
‘But this is different! Would it be out of order if you just asked...?’
‘I promise I’ll ask them, but I can’t promise a yes.’
Andrea saw Cal’s lips twitch before he straightened his face. He’d read the wedding folder, including the part she hadn’t shown Maggie. When Andrea had mentioned the possibility to Francine, she’d told her that the instructors would have been insulted not to be asked. Eight of them were already practising a new descent formation, which would take place at sunset when Maggie and Joe were cutting the cake, and Francine had promised Andrea that it would be spectacular.
‘Thank you.’ Maggie seemed content with Andrea’s diffident reply. ‘I’m sure they might be busy or something. It’s terribly short notice but it would be lovely.’
Cal stepped in, relieving Andrea of the temptation to tell her friend everything. He took Maggie’s arm, and began to walk towards the instructor who was giving out the torches. ‘If they can’t do it, I’ll do it myself for you, Maggie. Naked. With a rose between my teeth.’
The joke had the desired effect. Maggie screamed with laughter, digging her elbow into Cal’s ribs, and Joe made a comment about wanting to see that.
‘So I’ll cancel with Francine, then.’ She murmured the words as they joined the line of skiers making their way downhill. ‘What colour rose would you like me to get you?’
Cal chuckled. ‘Better get blue. It’ll match my fingers.’
Their second morning in the gym together left Cal quietly satisfied. It was too soon for Maggie’s shoulder to show any improvement, but she was more focussed. He had always felt that the continuation of therapeutic exercise was a matter of self-care and getting into the right head space, and Andrea was more careful about getting her posture exactly right today.
The hotel’s minibus was waiting for them in the village for the journey to the airport to pick up the wedding guests who were arriving on the noon flight. As they waited at the gates, Andrea was getting more and more excited.
‘How long is it since you’ve seen your parents?’
‘Three months. I stayed with them for a couple of weeks before the season got started, and we video conference once a week, but it’s not the same.’
The passengers began to file through the gates, and Andrea waved whenever she recognised someone. Cal accompanied the first arrivals over to the luggage carousel, helping them lift their suitcases off, while Andrea greeted the next group and pointed them in his direction.
Then he heard her calling out. A couple in their fifties were walking towards her, smiling.
‘Mum! Dad!’ Andrea hugged her mother and then her father. Turning, she beckoned Cal over.
‘This is Cal, Joe’s best man. Cal, this is my mum, Linda, and my dad, George.’
Cal shook Linda’s hand, feeling it cool in his. She was a slight woman and seemed tired from the trip, her dark eyes a little faraway in their gaze. George’s grip was firm and assured and his smile was broader. He had white curls and blue-grey eyes that were a lot like Andrea’s.
‘Cal. Andrea’s told me that you’re a doctor, as well.’
‘Yes.’ The thought that some of Andrea’s precious video-conferencing time had been spent talking about him was gratifying. ‘You’ve worked in Africa, I hear.’
‘That was a long time ago. I’d like to sit down with you, though, and hear about your travels. Andrea says that you’re involved with setting up medical facilities all over the world. I’d be interested to hear what’s changed since I worked abroad. Lin—?’ George broke off suddenly, looking round at his wife.
Linda swayed slightly, and then her legs seemed to just crumple under her. Cal had to move fast to catch her before she hit the floor. She was dead weight in his arms, and he picked her up, carrying her over to a line of seats.
George was at his side, helping him to lay Linda down and rolling up his jacket to put under her head. But when Cal looked quickly over his shoulder, Andrea was standing stock-still.
All the colour had drained out of her face, and she was trembling, seeming not to notice the people hurrying back and forth around her.
‘George...’ He heard Linda’s voice and focussed his attention back on her, silently willing Andrea to come to her senses. He knew why this must be such a shock to her, but she’d come so far in the past week. If she froze now, it would be yet another knock to her confidence.
There was nothing he could do about that now. George was kneeling beside his wife and he shouldn’t be left to deal with her alone.
‘Just lie still for a minute, Lin.’
‘I’m all right.’ Linda tried to sit up, and George gently stopped her. ‘I think I must have fainted...’
George smiled at his wife, the same warmth registering in his eyes that Cal had seen in Andrea’s. ‘Stay there for a minute, love. I just want to make sure you’re all right.’
‘But, George—’
‘Do as Dad says, Mum.’ Andrea’s voice sounded clear and firm behind him. Cal got out of the way, allowing her to bend down beside her mother.
Andrea reached forward, placing her hand on her mother’s forehead. ‘You’ve not got a fever. Any headaches?’
George got to his feet, standing next to Cal, his gaze flipping from his wife to his daughter. ‘We’ll let Andrea see to her mother.’
Cal nodded. Both men were of the same mind, that Andrea needed to be the one to do this. She was asking all the right questions, doing all the right things. Cal wondered if George was ticking off each possibility in his mind, the same way he was.
Finally, Andrea helped her mother to sit up, turning to face them. ‘She’s all right. She just fainted.’
‘I told you so, dear.’ Some colour was beginning to return to Linda’s cheeks. ‘We should have had breakfast before we came out.’
The other wedding guests were standing in a small knot beside the luggage carousel. An elderly woman in a bright purple windcheater stepped forward, jabbing her finger at his arm. Cal had been told that this was Aunt Mae, but, since everyone seemed to call her that, it wasn’t entirely clear whose aunt she was.
‘Is she all right?’
‘She fainted, Aunt Mae. Have you got any water in your handbag, please?’ Andrea answered for him.
The question seemed an odd one, but Aunt Mae began to rummage in her flight bag, producing a bottle of water and a plastic cup. Andrea collected them, sitting back down beside her mother and pouring the water for her.
‘I’ve got a sandwich as well.’
‘No, thanks, Aunt Mae, I’m feeling better now.’ Linda smiled at her. ‘Thanks for the water.’
‘You should have something to eat.’ Aunt Mae wasn’t going to take no for an answer. ‘Ham and tomato.’
Linda gave in to the inevitable. ‘Maybe just a bite, then. If you could break a little piece off...’
‘That’s all right.’ Mae produced a film-wrapped sandwich from her bag, handing it to Andrea. ‘I’ve got another one. Eating something will make you feel better.’
Andrea accepted the sandwich, moving her father’s jacket so that Aunt Mae could come and sit down next to Linda. As George shrugged the coat back on, he turned to Cal.
‘Three doctors in attendance, and it turns out that Aunt Mae’s got the remedy in her handbag. Typical, eh?’
Cal laughed, nodding in agreement. He was so proud of Andrea. Anyone would have forgiven her for panicking when she saw her mother taken ill so unexpectedly. She’d needed a moment, but she’d pulled herself together and come to help. He could see the pride in George’s eyes too as he looked at his daughter.
He wished he could stay but the other guests were still standing by the carousel, not sure what to do next. He walked over to them, assuring everyone that Linda was quite all right, and shepherding them out of the airport and into the waiting minibus.
When he returned, George was retrieving his and Linda’s suitcases from the luggage carousel. Andrea walked to the minibus with her mother, helping her in, while Cal and the driver finished loading up the boot.
As he got into the bus, Andrea caught his arm. ‘I’m sorry, Cal. I don’t think I can make tonight...’
‘That’s okay. I’m going to come back to the hotel as well.’ He wanted to be there for Andrea, if she needed to talk.
‘Thanks.’ She shot him a glistening smile and Cal went to sit down next to Aunt Mae, who was busy handing round a packet of extra-strong peppermints.
Cal was right where she’d expected him to be, sitting in one of the armchairs in the reception area with a cup of hot chocolate and an English newspaper. He liked busy places, and seemed to be able to concentrate even though people were moving back and forth all around him. Andrea sat down in the chair opposite his.
‘Hey. How’s your mum?’ He looked up from the paper, putting it aside.
‘She’s fine. Dad and I have been through the entire medical dictionary together, and our joint medical opinion is that she fainted.’
Cal chuckled. ‘Must be challenging having a husband and a daughter who are doctors.’
‘Must be. My brother’s a doctor as well.’
He winced. ‘No wonder she prefers to listen to Aunt Mae. Whose aunt is she, by the way?’
‘No one’s, actually. She’s Maggie’s mother’s next-door neighbour, and Maggie and I have known her since we were kids. She used to ask us to tea and we’d have soda water in china cups and little cakes. We thought we were very grown up.’
‘And she always has a sandwich in her handbag?’
‘Always. She takes a bottle of water and a sandwich with her when she goes shopping, and sits down and has them in the library. You’re not supposed to eat in there, but they all know her and turn a blind eye.’
‘She’s great. She was telling me all about ancient Sami warriors from northern Finland on the minibus. Apparently the women used to fight with bows and arrows on skis.’
‘She’s a mine of information; her house is full of books. When I went to medical school, she gave me a twenty-pound note in an envelope, and told me to spend it on going out and having fun. She said I was going to be a fine doctor, like my dad...’ Andrea felt her lip quiver. Aunt Mae had made a big mistake on that score.
‘You are a fine doctor.’ Cal was looking at her steadily.
‘I froze, Cal.’ He’d seen her do it and it was impossible for him to deny it.
‘I know. And then you pulled yourself together and made sure that she was all right.’
‘It wasn’t too difficult. Even Aunt Mae knew that she’d only fainted.’ Andrea heaved a sigh. It was okay. She knew her limitations. She’d just dared to think that one day she might break through those barriers.
‘Andrea, there’s a reason why I wouldn’t operate on a member of my family. It’s because I’m too personally involved with them. Are you telling me you should feel nothing when your own mother collapses?’
Andrea shrugged. ‘No, I suppose not.’
‘You had every reason to freeze after what you’ve been through. What matters is that you helped her. She could have been really ill and you had no way of knowing that. But I saw you check her over and you did it thoroughly without worrying her. You are a very fine doctor.’
Andrea’s head was reeling. Cal was asking her to believe in herself. And somehow that suddenly wasn’t so hard, because he believed in her.
‘In that case...thank you.’
He gave her a quizzical look. ‘Is that all you have to say?’
‘Yes. I think it is. Thank you, Cal.’
He smiled. ‘Seems I’m more persuasive than I thought.’
‘Seems you are.’ Andrea looked at her watch. ‘Do you still want to go down to the village? We’ve got enough time to look at the places on my list if we’re quick.’
He shook his head. ‘No. I think I’d rather stay here and have an early night.’
That sounded as if it was for her benefit. Andrea felt as if she could do with an early night, and probably looked that way too.
‘But we won’t have another chance. Maggie and Joe’s parents are flying in tomorrow morning, and then there’s the rehearsal in the afternoon, and we’ll all be having dinner together afterwards. Then on Thursday it’s the stag and hen nights.’
‘You choose a place. You’ve already made the list, you may as well. Where would you go?’
‘But it’s a stag night. I’ve never been on one of those before.’
He rolled his eyes. ‘Andrea, if I was taken ill, there’s no one I’d rather have around than you. If I can trust you with that, then I’m sure I can trust you to choose a good place for Joe’s stag night.’
There was a note of exasperation in his tone. And Cal always told the truth, particularly when he was exasperated. The thought that he really did trust her lifted some of the weight that had been pressing on Andrea’s chest for the last couple of hours.
‘Okay. There’s a little family-run place about five minutes’ walk from the funicular railway. They do great food, good beer, and it’s a really relaxed atmosphere. Later on in the evening there’s music and lots of singing. How does that sound?’
He gave her a delicious smile. ‘It sounds perfect. Sorted.’