Ten years went by with still no signs of Janie. Jody and I got married and I will always remember that as the best day of my life. I was on an upward spiral for once. I started my own construction business and bought a little house with a big back yard and an in-ground pool, south of Boston. Starting shortly after our wedding, Jody and I had four children, all two years apart. My business took off in the 90s and we went on beautiful family vacations to Disney World.
Regardless of everything that had happened, my wife and I decided to have our kids attend CCD at a Catholic church because I always wanted them to have God in their heart. Even after my past experiences, my faith in God had never changed.
Superficially, people including friends and relatives knew nothing about me nor where I came from. When I got defensive or over-protective of my children, nieces and nephews, it sometimes came off as overbearing and controlling, but I really just wanted to shield them from experiencing the hurt and the evil of this world.
People assumed I had a normal upbringing and there were no obvious signs of early childhood abuse. I tried my best not to show the world how much strife I held inside. Instead of taking out the pain and suffering on my kids or wife, I worked and worked. Alcohol or drug binging was not an escape option anymore. I couldn’t bring my kids into that world. The diversion of having my hands tied working all day, managing jobs, taking my kids to games and practice and watching them alone at night while Jody worked was enough to keep my memories buried. The only void in my life was the fact that it had been ten years since I had seen Janie and I missed her. She was still the only one who knew my painful secrets.