1 Yes, you heard me, “Cube Lube.” One of the biggest fads of the decade was the Rubik’s Cube, the 3-D mechanical puzzle. Presumably, if you are a hard-core Rubik’s cuber and keep twisting your cube around a lot, it might become difficult to move the pieces easily. Luckily, Bouge Industries is there for you with Cube Lube, lubricant for your Rubik’s Cube to make it turn easier! Yes, Cube Lube. For two dollars a tube. Ah, the American dream—to come up with a tie-in product to bilk users of a second, more famous product!
2 So by “free” you mean, of course, not free at all. Besides the sheer absurdity of anyone wanting to play a Kool-Aid Man video game (then again, there was enough demand to get a Kool-Aid Man cartoon series on to the air, so perhaps I am misjudging the public interest in Kool-Aid Man circa 1983), this ad is awesome because it advertises a “free” Kool-Aid Man video game. “All” you have to do is send in 125 proof-of-purchase points! Yes, kids, to get this “free” game, you only need to buy thirteen dollars’ worth of Kool-Aid!
3 They have the jazz? I want the jazz! Advertising your Saturday morning schedule of cartoons has been going on in comics since the 1960s. It was during the 1980s, though, that this was brought to another level, with all three of the major networks dedicating one- or two-page ads to their fall lineup of cartoon shows. No group of shows quite captures the spirit of the 1980s better than seeing the visage of Mr. T shouting at you about NBC having “the jazz.”
4 What can I do to help, Meat Loaf? This 1987 ad for the Special Olympics is obviously for a good cause, but when you consider the facts that (a) 1987-era Meat Loaf was probably at his lowest level of popularity and (b) the artist who drew Meat Loaf did so…well, let’s just say “poorly,” then you have all the makings for one extremely goofy-looking ad. At least it was for a good cause.(Although I can’t be the only one whose eyebrow rises when I see “a portion of the proceeds goes to the Special Olympics” [italics added]—what a delightfully vague promise.)
