27. Ray

Ray Spencer is a snapshot of everything I want to be. He’s good looking with messy—but not too messy—short blonde hair, the looks of a soccer player, and the smile of an actor. He looks like a poster child for Abercrombie & Fitch in his distressed jeans and plaid shirt rolled at the elbows. His handshake is firm, firm like a politician’s. Not like that of a senior going to a high school in Nowhere, North Carolina.

He makes me feel about ten years old.

“Glad you could make it tonight. Has Jocelyn shown you around the place?”

“Not exactly,” she says, standing right next to me like a bodyguard.

“Give him a tour,” Ray says, his teeth practically glinting under the kitchen’s canned lights. “You certainly know your way around here.”

“We’re fine right here.” I can tell Jocelyn is annoyed and wants to end this conversation.

“I heard you had an interesting week,” Ray says to me.

“Yeah, you can say that.”

“Look—not everybody around here is like Gus. There are some cool people at Harrington—obviously you know that, because you’re hanging around with a few of them.”

“Ray here is the master of flattery.”

“What?” he says to Jocelyn. “I’m being honest.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Where are you from again?” he asks me.

“Libertyville. A suburb of Chicago.”

“My family’s been to Chi-town a few times. Great place.”

“Yeah.”

The guy has an air about him, no doubt, but he reminds me of some of the guys back home. Of Brady, if Brady actually had some common sense. Even his voice doesn’t carry an accent.

“I grew up in Colorado, in case you’re wondering. Family relocated right before high school.”

“Big change.”

“It’s all right. Going back there for college.”

College is one of those far-off thoughts. I haven’t even earned my license. College seems like it should be four years away, not a year and a half.

“So is Joss treating you well?” Ray asks with a smile.

“Sure.”

“Shut up, Ray.”

“What’d I say?”

“You know what you said,” Jocelyn tells him.

“Joss, here, she’s a feisty one. But that just makes her all the better, you know what I mean?”

“You can be a real jerk, you know that?”

Ray acts innocent, as though he has no idea what he said.

“Come on,” Jocelyn says, heading toward the deck outside.

I start to follow her when Ray gets in my way.

“Hey, buddy—just a suggestion. Take it or leave it, okay? But I wouldn’t get that serious if I were you. Joss is a lot of fun. A lot. But don’t get too attached. She’s not the one to hang your hat on. Trust me.”

Without a word, I move around him to go find her.

I don’t like the fact that he knows her better than I do.

Or the fact that they have a past.

I don’t like the idea of this guy having had his paws all over her. He might look pretty and smell pretty, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t trash just like Gus.

The night air is cool, and I find Jocelyn standing by the railing looking off into the darkness.

“Where’s Rachel?” I ask her.

“I don’t know. I just—do you want to go?”

“Of course.”

“I came here for her, and she’s not even around. She’s so lovesick over that little boy.”

“Lee?”

“Yeah. One of Ray’s boys, as I call him.”

“We can go anytime.”

She looks up at me with angry eyes. Her expression is tight and tough. “Don’t you ever become like them.”

“Like who?” I ask.

“Like all of them. Guys who think they’re better than the rest.”

I wish I had the courage to tell her that I’m not one of them and never will be.

I wish I had the guts to hug her and whisper that in her ear.

But though I believe this, I don’t have the strength to tell her.

I don’t have the guts to show that belief.

“Let’s go,” she says.

“Home?”

“No. Let’s just go.”