30. More Surprises

I want to look at my clothes to see if they’re on fire.

I want to smell them to see if I accidentally rolled around in cow manure this morning.

I want to check my back to see if there’s a sign that says DEAD MAN WALKING on it.

I want to figure out exactly why every single student I pass is staring at me.

This is worse than normal. And normal is bad enough.

I make it to my locker without seeing Jocelyn. I open it up and find a note taped on the back of the door.

Not again, Rachel. This time whatever you’re saying, I’m not buying.

I open it up and read it.

Chris,

This is just to warn you … be careful. Be very careful who you trust. They’re watching you, Chris. They’re watching and waiting.

A friend

The note is half of a sheet of paper that someone printed from a computer.

I reread it. A friend.

Don’t friends tell you their names?

I wonder if this is from Newt.

When I see him I’ll ask.

Surely it isn’t from Rachel or Jocelyn.

Maybe it’s from someone who doesn’t want me to hang around them.

Maybe they’re talking about Jocelyn.

They’re watching.

Yeah? Well, from the looks of it, everybody’s watching. Everybody’s waiting.

I slide the note into my pocket and then grab my books.

The last thing I want to do today is learn, but I guess that’s what I’m supposed to do.

“Hey, Jocelyn.”

I’ve been waiting for her outside our English classroom and manage to speak to her before she goes in.

“Hi.”

She doesn’t look at me.

“Can we talk today?”

“About what?”

“About Saturday night?”

“No, that’s okay,” she says.

“Look—I just want to say a few things.”

“That’s quite all right.”

“I’d feel better if I could.”

“And I’d feel better if we just forgot Saturday ever happened.”

She walks into the classroom.

I’d like to just wait out here for the next forty-five minutes.

Instead, I walk into the same room feeling stupid for even trying.

I’m on the way to my next class feeling like a product on a conveyer machine when I hear someone call out my name.

Gus. He’s decided it’s about time to pay me a visit.

But the voice sounds nothing like him, and when I turn I see Ray approaching in his cool jeans and shirt.

“Hey, man, how’d you score after the party?”

I look at him and don’t quite know how to answer the question.

He laughs and hits me gently in the chest. “That’s okay, man. I can imagine. I’ve been there. No need to share. Hey—I got a question for you. Wanted to ask you at the party, but you disappeared.”

“Okay.” My voice sounds weak.

“You guys find a church?”

I would have been less surprised if Ray had asked me if I had found a crack dealer.

“What?”

“A church. You guys go to church?”

“Not really,” I say. “I mean, we used to. My dad wanted us to go.”

“Well, cool. I go to this great church. You should check it out. It’s called New Beginnings. The pastor there is amazing.”

“Okay, yeah, great.”

“I’m serious, man,” Ray says. “It’s really good. It’s not like one of those regular boring churches out there. Promise me you’ll think about it.”

“Sure.”

“Great.” He smiles, and I think again how white his teeth look. “I’ll see you around.”

The last person I’d have expected to invite me to church would be Ray Spencer.

But every single day at this school brings a surprise.

And this day is only half over.