I know it’s going to take a lot of persuasion and hard work to get Kelsey to agree with me. After all, I’m the guy who kept ditching her last year for Poe. And the guy who basically ignored her all summer. And yes, I’m the guy who showed up senior year arm in arm with Lily.
Thanksgiving dinner is one thing, but this …
It’s probably not going to work, but I have to try. So I do it after lunch one day while we’re standing in the hallway by ourselves.
“Okay, so I wanted to talk with you—alone—’cause I want to ask you something.”
Kelsey looks curious and almost concerned. “Okay.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask. And it’s kinda coming out of nowhere. But I told you this when we first met—there’s stuff going on in my life—that’s one reason I’ve avoided getting to know you, if you really want me to be honest. Because of just—this stuff. That maybe one day I can tell you about. I know it’s the holidays, and I’m sure you have plans. But just—I’d like you—I’m wondering if you’d want to come to Chicago with me after Christmas. Right before the new year. And before you say anything, just listen. I know you’re going to school there and I’m sure you’ve visited, but this could be another chance for you to go see the campus since I’m heading back up there with my father on New Year’s Eve—”
“Okay.”
“And it will only be for a few days and I can ask your parents myself if you want me to. I don’t know if they’ll think it’s weird or anything—”
“Okay. Chris? I said okay.”
“Like okay, you’ll think about it?”
Kelsey laughs and looks at me with a surprised glance. “Why are you being like this?”
“Like what?”
“Like all nervous or something?”
I realize that I’m a jittery, talkative mess. She’s right.
If you only knew, Kelsey. If you only knew.
“I’m sorry. Yeah. I just—it’s probably weird me asking.”
“Not really,” she says.
“You’ll go?”
For some reason I had it in my mind that she was going to say no. Perhaps because of the other girls in my life who have proved to be difficult when I needed them to be easygoing.
“Sure. That sounds like it’d be a lot of fun. My dad and I were just talking about me needing to check out the school again. They have something this spring, but still—this would be ideal.”
I wait for a catch, but it’s not coming.
I almost want to hug her.
She doesn’t understand why I’m asking her. Why I’m desperate.
Nothing’s going to happen to you, Kelsey. You’re going to be by my side on New Year’s Eve and you’re going to be far away from this hellhole and nothing will happen.
“You think your parents will let you go with me? My dad is going to be there, of course. We’d stay at his apartment in Chicago. I haven’t even been there yet.”
“Of course. They really like you.”
“Really?”
“But you already know that.”
In some ways, yes, I guess I do. But I haven’t paid much attention.
“Well, just—you want to ask and make sure?”
She gives me an excited and shy nod. And once again, those eyes tell me everything.
Do you know what you’re doing?
Of course I don’t. I don’t know what this will mean for Kelsey and me. If this is leading her on or if I want to lead her on or if anything will happen and if I even want something to happen. I haven’t thought through all of that and don’t have time to.
“I’ll let you know tonight,” she says, then adds, “if you want me to.”
“Yeah. Just text me. Or call. Whatever.”
“Okay.”
I head back to my locker wondering how that could have been so easy.
Things are never that easy.
I just hope there’s no catch.