37. How Old I Am

Before the concert begins, the one that Lily was somehow able to get us into even though we’re both under eighteen and neither has a parent anywhere around, I look at her standing in the middle of the floor and come right out with it.

“Is this all some big act or something?”

We’re at the Orange Peel in Asheville, and the average age of the people surrounding us has got to be fifty. It makes me wonder when exactly these Psychedelic Furs were popular anyway.

Lily, with her normally curly hair straightened out, definitely looks older than her age tonight, in tight, dark jeans and a pink and somewhat sheer tank top and a big pink necklace coming down almost to her belt.

I feel like a total moron next to this girl.

She’s the adult I’m with. The babysitter. And that’s what’s led to this question. All of a sudden out of the blue.

“Is what an act?” Lily asks.

It’s not air-conditioned, and I’m already sweating even though a huge fan swirls around above us. Lily doesn’t seem to sweat. Of course she doesn’t. Girls that pretty never sweat.

“This—being here—you hanging out with me.”

“You have a problem with it?”

“No, it’s just … I don’t know.”

What don’t you know?”

I’ve been around her long enough to know that she doesn’t like me taking a long time to get out something I’m thinking.

“Did someone put you up to this?”

“To what?” She still doesn’t know what I’m talking about.

“Going out with me. Hanging out.”

“Why would someone ‘put me up’ to it? Like a dare?”

I’m suddenly thinking of Jared.

I don’t know who put him up to that, but in the end I realized I’d been had.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you know what you’re saying,” Lily says.

“It’s just—”

Then the band begins to play.

For a moment, I see Lily staring at me with cold, distant eyes. But just for a moment.

Soon we’re lost in the crowd while this band from yesteryear plays songs I don’t know. Until, of course, “Pretty in Pink” comes on and everybody recognizes it, including Lily and me.

Suddenly I get why she’s wearing that shirt and oversized necklace.

She dances next to me during the song and takes my hand and forces me to do the same. It’s strange because I don’t feel as stupid making a fool of myself around all these old people. Some of them are dancing too.

Some of them shouldn’t be dancing.

Near the end of the song Lily comes up beside me and whispers something in my ear. Actually, she’s probably half screaming in order for me to hear.

“I think you’re endearing, Chris. And if you don’t already know that by now, there—I’ve said it. Believe it. I’m not lying.”

She moves away and I see that beautiful face and those lips and I know she’s going to kiss mine so I close my eyes …

But only for a second.

Because when I open them she’s already in front of me again dancing.

I glance around to see if anybody saw that utter display of stupidity.

An overweight slightly balding man holding half a cup of beer looks at me and nods. He’s not mocking me.

Nope. He’s giving me a glance that seems to say, I used to be young and in love back when I had more hair and less of a gut.

I smile and suddenly forget how old I am.

Lily has that effect on me.