“I didn’t see you any today.”
Lily nods and then pats the bleacher right next to her, like I’m a puppy who needs to sit for a treat.
I keep sitting, but I never seem to get the treat that I want.
“That was really cute down there,” Lily says.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“Did you ask me something?”
She’s smiling, toying with me as always. “Lighten up—I got an excuse. When you’re a girl you can come up with so many excuses. Just say ‘girl stuff’ and they excuse you.”
“That’s good to know.”
“So that’s the girl we saw at the party.”
“Kelsey,” I say, not sure if she’s deliberately forgetting her name or not.
“That’s right. Kelsey. Who is just crazy for Chris Buckley.”
“Funny.”
“It’s true. But you know that, don’t you.”
“If you were somebody else, I’d almost think you might be jealous,” I say.
“But I’m not.”
“Jealous?”
“Somebody else.”
These fun little games could continue for hours. And they often do, late in the night when we’re texting each other.
“Any chance you can go out for dinner?” Lily asks.
“I told you I’m grounded.”
“Until when?”
“Probably until Dad leaves.” I don’t really know, because he hasn’t put a date around it.
“But you could do cheerleading practice, huh?”
“He knows how little I really want to do it.”
“Does he know about me?”
I shake my head. “And I want to keep it that way.”
“Fine by me.”
“Lily, look—about the other night—I just want you to know, and I’m serious—”
She tightens those lips of hers to shush me. “No need to go back in time.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“It was what it was. And here and now—just let’s stay here and now. Okay?”
But I don’t really get why she doesn’t want to talk about the other night. I want to tell her that I haven’t forgotten what was about to happen. And I want to bring it up because I want it to happen sometime soon.
Maybe she knows this, Chris. Maybe there’s a reason she’s shushing you.
I don’t say anything, and Lily nudges me to try and make me smile.
“I really liked the song they chose for the routine,” Lily says.
I can’t help but laugh. “Maybe you should join the cheerleaders.”
She sighs and lets out a gagging sound. “I couldn’t stand the cheerleaders at my high school. Nope—that wasn’t for me.”
“So then, Ms. Lily-New-Student. What is for you?”
“Hmm—that’s a good question. I like slow dancing to soft music when you can see the candlelight flickering off the walls and feel the breeze off the ocean coming in through the open doorway. That’s what I go for.”
I just look at her, again feeling the dropping sensation.
“What?” she asks.
“You’re trying to kill me, right?”
“No.”
“Oh, okay.” I just shake my head.
“What’d I say?”
“You know now what I’ll be thinking about all night long.”
“Stop,” Lily says.
“It’s true. And I think you do that on purpose.”
“No. It’s just—it’s so easy to tell you things I’m thinking.”
“Yeah, well, sometimes—I don’t know. Sometimes I’m just tired of all of that.”
“Of all of what?”
I look at her, feeling like a two-thousand-pound weight is holding me back, inches away from her.
“Sometimes I’m tired of all the talking. And texting. Sometimes I don’t want to talk anymore.”
Lily smiles, takes my hand and squeezes it. “I know. And if only you weren’t grounded.”
“I can come home whenever I want. I don’t care. Let’s go somewhere tonight. Anywhere.”
“That just means you won’t be able to see me again for a while. And we don’t want that, do we?”
I sigh. I hate being a teen, a boy, a high schooler.
I want to be an adult and take Lily to that place she spoke about. The tiny hut on the beach with the breeze and the candlelight.
“Come on, Mr. Cheerleader. Walk me to my car.”
As we walk outside hand in hand, talking and laughing about something, I spot a car just starting to leave.
The driver has blonde hair a lot like Kelsey’s.
That night I get an email from Kelsey.
Hi, Chris. You know—after thinking about things, I think it’s probably best that we don’t do the routine. I can find someone else. But thanks. I appreciate you trying.
Kelsey
I want to respond but I don’t.
But she knew I was seeing Lily. She knew about that.
I decide I’ll talk to her tomorrow.
I don’t especially want to do the routine with her. But then again, I think it might be fun.
Kelsey’s cute and sweet. I’m sure that she’ll make some ordinary, nice guy very happy one day.
But I’m not ordinary and I’m not really particularly nice, either. Not anymore.