I ignore the calls from Dad. It’s dinnertime, and I’m supposed to be home. And I’m heading home, my head floating in clouds of doubt and denial. And maybe deliriousness.
I need to see Lily.
Maybe I’ll tell her everything going on. Just get it all out so that someone can help me make sense of it all.
The gunshot wound.
Thinking of Lily makes me think of this. And I feel shivers, thinking about what Marsh said to me.
Did they bring me to the waterfall and baptize me that night to heal me?
Maybe she can’t make sense of this any more than I can, but at least she can make sure I’m not losing my mind.
It’s maybe around six or something when I get off my bike and head up to the bed-and-breakfast. I wonder how long Lily is going to be staying at this place. Maybe I can move in here in an extra bedroom that Lily can slip into at night when her mother is asleep.
I’m almost to the door when I see the figures.
Lily is standing under a huge umbrella of a tree in the garden area to the side. There’s someone next to her—no, make that attached to her. She leans against the tree and some dark-haired guy leans against her.
They’re kissing.
No, they’re doing more than kissing.
That’s no ordinary kiss.
That’s the guy she called an old friend, someone who went “way back” with her.
I stand there and watch, feeling worse than I did after Marsh cut me. Now I feel naked and stupid and angry and confused.
Her hands are all over this guy, and I see the two of them almost slide down the tree.
It’d be funny if it weren’t Lily.
I wait one more second to make sure I’m really seeing this, then I turn around and quickly take off.
My motorcycle engine is loud, and I can see a figure emerging from the lawn just as I turn around to head back home.
I know it’s Lily watching me, just like I was watching her.
Watching her and whatever guy she was with.
My dad almost grounds me again, but I tell him I could care less. I have less than nine months until I graduate and have freedom. Now that whatever I had with Lily seems to be over
And what DID I have with Lily, come to think about it?
it doesn’t really matter if I get grounded again. You have to have things to be grounded from. And I don’t. Not anymore.
I don’t talk much to Dad tonight. He asks if everything is okay, and I shrug and say yes. But all I am thinking about is Lily.
I don’t get a call or a text or anything from her. I know she saw me. And I know she knows I saw her.
It takes me a long time to go to sleep. I’m thinking of what Marsh said and what Lily did.
And all of it just makes me really, really angry.