102. The Most Beautiful Song on Your Playlist

The dark weather goes away for a while, leaving the skies clear and the wind calm for the big night.

Leaving the ocean ready to sweep into the hallway where I’m waiting and ready to blush when I see Kelsey.

She comes in wearing a strapless, flowing light blue dress that makes me nervous to examine too carefully. Her hair is up, her eyes bright and matching her dress, her smile all made up and adult.

“Ready?”

She seems calm, but I’m not calm.

Driving in my mom’s car to Georgia’s house, I’m not calm. Even when Kelsey holds my hand.

One might think I’m nervous because of what this might mean and about the warnings, but those have gone away. I’m nervous because Kelsey is no longer this cute girl I’m interested in.

She hasn’t been that cute girl since last year.

This is taking it to a whole new level. She truly is a seventeen-year-old who looks like a twenty-four-year-old.

Made up and ready to take on the world.

“Your hand is sweaty,” she says.

“Yeah.”

“You’re nervous.”

“Yeah.”

She leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek. “Don’t be.”

“Okay.”

But I stay nervous for a while.

The whole Romeo and Juliet thing doesn’t make my anxiety go away. Everything seems to point toward one thing.

Death.

The decorations; the displays, including a whole balcony setup; the colors and the lighting … they all seem to share the gloom and doom. The songs played are not typical prom songs. They all carry a theme as well. Themes of love and loss.

But through all this, there is Kelsey. Smiling, glowing, happy.

Happy.

Now there’s a wonderful thing that I never want to see go away.

This light happiness that is as clear and pure as the color of her dress or her eyes.

We never leave each other that night except for brief bathroom breaks. We forget there are even others in the room. There’s no drama, no teenage angst or spirit thing going on. There’s just Kelsey and me.

When the final song begins to play, we slow dance again and for a brief moment look into each other’s eyes.

Imagine the most beautiful song on your playlist. This is what is playing.

The lyrics, written by someone I will never meet in my life, don’t mean a thing.

The melody, created by someone more talented than I will ever be, doesn’t matter.

For the moment, this last song of the night doesn’t matter. The girl in my arms does.

We hold each other, and I find myself thinking a prayer that I hope will forever be answered.

Don’t let this girl leave my world, God. Don’t let her go.

We sway to the sweet song, and I hope and pray that Kelsey will always be there. Regardless of what happens tonight and tomorrow and the thirty thousand days afterward.