120. Again

Kelsey.

I rush to her and kneel at her side, trying to prop up her head, but then something hits me. No, make that kicks me.

I slam to the floor.

Marsh stands there, without his robe, an insane look on his face. He curses at me, and then he kicks me again. It feels as if one of my ribs has cracked.

He’s breathing in and out like he just ran a marathon. Behind him I can see the flames spreading on the walls.

This is no accident. This was planned.

“You ruined everything, you—” he says, and proceeds to tell me exactly what he thinks I am.

Kelsey is on the ground next to me, shaking and trying to undo the black tape around her wrists. People are screaming, and it’s getting harder to breathe.

Marsh yanks Kelsey up by her hair and holds a blade, short like a hunting knife, to the side of her face.

I’m about to lunge at him, but he juts the blade toward me. “Don’t. Don’t move, or I’ll kill her.”

I get on my knees, still coughing, and see the fire really burning now. There had to be gas in this sanctuary for it to be spreading this fast. Aunt Alice has crawled in a daze toward the side of the platform, away from Kinner. She doesn’t seem a bit fazed by the fire.

Marsh drags a squealing Kelsey over to Kinner and then examines the old man. He looks at me and curses again. “You stupid boy. What were you thinking?”

“Let her go!”

“What? What!” He clenches his teeth and jerks Kelsey back with his left arm. His right hand is shaking, holding the knife. “I’ve waited for my chance, and I didn’t get it. I waited to see if I was chosen, and I wasn’t. I waited and waited, and then you come along, and now this.”

The pastor suddenly sounds like a bratty kid. A bratty, messed-up kid. He curses again and looks at Kinner.

Some woman comes up to him, screaming, and I see that it’s Principal Harking. I’m not surprised.

“Get out of my face,” Marsh screams at her as he bats her away.

People are going crazy. I hear the sound of glass breaking. More screams. The ripple of fire.

I see another familiar face, then recognize it as the weird mannequin maker. Of course Alfred Graff is here. Unfortunately, these are all real people who are about to be burned alive.

“It was going to be just you and me,” Marsh says, facing me. I’m on my knees, trying to get closer so I can grab the knife. “All these fools—I was going to get rid of them. The world is going to burn, and you’re going to burn with it, because you’re of no use anymore. You stupid, silly little boy.”

“Please—let her go.”

Marsh looks at me, and suddenly there is no expression on his face. It’s like any kind of emotion—hate or love or fear or anger—went away. It’s just blank.

Then he slits Kelsey’s throat.

She falls back, and he grabs her wrist and yanks her up with it. He cuts her there, too.

I tackle him, and we both fall backward. I can’t get back on my feet. Marsh ends up over me and is about to lunge at me with the knife when he jerks in surprise at the sound of gunshots.

There are four shots, one that chips the upside-down cross behind us. Marsh ducks and runs to the back of the church.

It takes me a moment to pull the tape from Kelsey’s mouth and undo her hands. I have blood all over my hands and arms as I hold her and tell her she’s going to be okay. She’s crying and she’s probably in shock and I know that she’s dying.

no no no NO!

This is what happens when you reject your faith. This is what happens when you abandon the God who’s supposed to save you.

The fire is burning, and I don’t hear the voice calling my name at first. Then I feel something tugging at the back of my neck. I whip around, ready to strike out, when I see the buzzed head belonging to Brick. He pulls me up and says, “I’ll get her, come on.”

I look around at the chaos. People are trying to climb out a broken window that has flames blazing around it. Another figure is running in a robe that’s in flames. A group is banging at the front door.

Another tug gets my attention. “Not that way.”

I follow Brick to the back of the church.

I cough, and my eyes are watery from both the smoke and the tears. I follow him through a dark hallway, touching his shoulder and feeling the strap of his shotgun. He’s carrying Kelsey in his arms. He kicks a door open and leads us outside to the fresh air.

“Come on,” he tells me.

I follow him to the edge of the woods. I can hear the crackling of wood behind us.

“That building’s going up like a meth lab,” Brick says.

I lean over and see Kelsey. I breathe out and for a moment I don’t know what to do.

“Chris, come on,” he says. “We gotta get her to the hospital.”

I’m frozen, and I stare at Kelsey and know that it can’t end like this.

It can’t.

God wouldn’t do that, would He?

Would He do this to me again?

A terrible thought fills me.

If I rejected God, He has every right to reject me.