121. The End

Reach out and touch faith, Chris.

I watch fingers of fire waving at me through the cool black night. For the moment, I’m not really here. I’m somewhere far away from this burning structure. From this cursed town. From this wretched life.

You know what you have to do.

But I can’t move and I can’t breathe and I can’t think. I just want to run.

I’ve tried everything else, and I can’t do any more.

You don’t have to.

But I have to do something.

I think of Jocelyn. And I think of Lily. And now …

There’s only one thing you can do.

A part of me thinks I should play it safe just in case. Just in case the magic doesn’t work. Or more like just in case I get it wrong and God above doesn’t come down and deliver.

You have to go there.

Another part of me says that it’s already over, she’s already dead, everything has built up to this outcome.

It’s called foreshadowing, idiot, and it’s as clear as day, as clear as this fire blazing in the night.

The flames prove that everything is going up in smoke. My faith and my fears and my future.

Soon everything will be ashes, and I’ll be left alone.

Move, Chris. Move now. Reach out and take a leap and put everything on the line for this thing deep down that you believe in.

Another voice reminds me of my rejections. Of my denials. Or my failure.

How’s God gonna help me if I just declared I don’t believe in Him?

But I can’t lose somebody else. Not again. Not this way.

I have to try.

I have to believe.