52. Strong

Later that night, after staying up late to see if Mom is going to wake up and need anything, I check on her and see her still sleeping like a rock. I double-check to make sure the doors are locked, turn off the lights, then head upstairs.

It’s weird to feel this alone even though Mom is downstairs.

I brush my teeth and wash my face, and then I think of Uncle Robert living here by himself.

Fighting the demons all by himself.

Then just giving up and going into hiding.

Not telling anybody, just closing himself off and shutting down.

I don’t want to do that. I can’t do that.

I’m the kid and they’re the grown-ups, but I guess I have to do what brother and sister cannot do.

Be strong. And stay strong.

Then I think of someone else I need to stay strong for.

Someone I haven’t heard from in a while.

I forget about everything else, and I get my iPhone to send a text.

I type it as quickly as I can.

I just want you to know that I’m thinking about you. And that I’m not about to lose you. Especially for some stupid thing that I did or tried to do. You’re not going to get away so easily.

I turn off the lights and am climbing into bed when my phone buzzes.

I’m the one sorry for doing something stupid. For being so lame.

I read and reread her text and then I think I get it.

She’s been avoiding me because she feels stupid and silly.

I laugh out loud and start typing again.

You’re like the only person around here who stands for something and remains strong. You know that? Good for you. That makes me only realize even more that I’m supposed to be with you.

She doesn’t text me back so I ask if she’s still there.

Wow, she writes.

What?

Do you really mean that?

Of course I do.

Even with it being senior year—with college and all that down the road?

I’m staying by your side, I write to her. As long as you’ll let me.

It’s a deal.

Good night. Hope to see you in my dreams.

Me too.