65. A Brief Lull

I don’t know how these things go, these guy-girl things. ’Cause honestly I haven’t the best of luck with them.

But the apocalyptic snow doesn’t come, at least not this year. Warmer weather comes to thaw the ground, and Kelsey is there to thaw my heart.

And she continues to make me believe.

Believe there is hope in today and tomorrow.

Not in anything grand she says, but in the small things she does.

Waiting at my locker in the morning as I come to this grave of a school. Kelsey can raise the dead, because I feel alive every time I see her.

Sometimes she’ll hold my hand at the oddest and most wonderful times. For no reason except that I have a hand and she wants to take it.

This little girl that I considered a mouse in my art class is now a roaring tiger who leads me around on a leash.

March arrives, and with it comes something bigger and heavier and harder and more real.

Is this love? Is it strong enough?

I don’t know. I think so, but I don’t know and I’m not going to say it.

I don’t want to ruin this.

I don’t want to overshadow the times I make her laugh for stupid reasons. I’m not that funny, but she laughs easily and blushes even easier.

She comes to my track meets even though I tell her I’m not that into them.

But I’m into her.

And yeah, she’s into me.

And sometimes when I think of it all, I think that we’re going to make it out of here okay.

That’s when I don’t think of anything else.

The storms aren’t always raging.

Yet when they come back you realize you’ve been lulled by the warmth and the softness and the smiles.

When they come back, they seem to hurt you even more.